The Loudest Silence (Part One)

by Olivia Janae

  Kate broke into laughter, her head thrown back to make room for the simple pleasure pouring through her. How had she ever thought this woman was cold?

  Then again, why had she been cold? Kate remembered the look on Vivian’s face when she had yelled at her in front of the entire ensemble, comparing it to the huge smile she was giving Max now, despite the fact that the seat of her pants was soaked. She opened her mouth, but Max yelled right over her, “You’re all wet, Viv’n!”

  “That’s right! I am!” Vivian cried, leaning down and completely missing the fact that Kate had been about to speak.

  Kate just clicked her tongue, a little chagrined at being thwarted again.

  Vivian forced Kate and Max into the fluffy towel and then into the sun, scolding them for her wet clothes as they grinned at her, a pair of children.

  Once they were dry, or as dry as they were going to get, they headed toward the spot that she and Vivian had shared so recently.

  Kate hung back a bit as they walked, her mind preoccupied with all the questions that just seemed to be building as they went on unanswered.

  Their dinner together had been nice, but Kate couldn’t attribute this change in personality to that. Vivian had shown up that night already a different woman, already behaving inexplicably differently. She had said that there was more than one side to her in the emails they had exchanged before dinner. Did that mean that the woman who had grown so openly and hatefully angry the night of the gala was gone? If Kate took a wrong step, would it bring her roaring back?

  She looked up and saw Vivian and Max, hand in hand. Her chest tightened in that special way that was saved for her son. They were really cute together.

  She pulled out her phone and, knowing she would be mortified if Vivian turned and saw, snapped a picture. She paused and then snapped another, getting the perfect shot of the moment Max saw the sculpture, his whole face round with awe while Vivian smiled down at him.

  Max, with his little pixie features and towhead, tended to bring out the parental instinct in most he met, but he seemed to pull a whole new level of affection from Vivian. Their eyes were bright together, and Kate had to wonder what it was that captured her boss so thoroughly. She knew Max was adorable, but it seemed as though each smile swept Vivian cleanly off of her feet. She could feel something more, a longing when Vivian looked at him, too.

  Max let go of Vivian’s hand and ran to throw his face against the mirrored metal, his nose pressing so hard that it smashed, flattening the tip entirely. “Woooooow!”

  “He’s having fun?” Vivian had paused so Kate could catch up, her arms crossed as she watched the boy.

  Kate was sure it was supposed to be a statement, but it came out more of a question. Vivian’s brow furrowed slightly as one hand moved to play nervously with her necklace, the other laced around her own waist, rubbing anxious circles into her stomach as though it hurt.

  “He is. Stop worrying.”

  Vivian smiled conspiratorially, her expression saying she was about to pass on a choice piece of gossip. “Speaking of worry.”

  “What?”

  “Our mutual millennial stopped me at the hall the night before last to ask all about our date.”

  “What?” Kate gaped. She wasn’t sure what had gotten her more: the thought of Ash bombarding their boss or the use of the word date.

  Vivian’s grin twisted into a guilty lip bite. “I had some fun with her. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “I might! I don’t know. What did you do?” There was just a little too much evil in Vivian’s grin for comfort.

  “She was curious about what we had ‘done together.’” She crooked her fingers into amused air quotes. “Surprisingly so.”

  “And?”

  “And. I just kind of gave her a …” Vivian’s finger curled under her chin, propping it up as she gave her a slow, sultry wink.

  “You didn’t!”

  Vivian laughed, high-spirited and obviously enjoying the thought of Ash’s torment.

  “Well, I guess that explains why she showed up at my door with coffee.” She playfully shoved her a little and then, feeling that Vivian was not a woman to be pushed, caught her before she could go very far.

  “Oh whatever, Ms. Flynn.” She waved a dismissing hand and signed something she wouldn’t explain.

  7

  “Table?”

  Vivian showed him the sign.

  “Tree?”

  Vivian showed him the sign.

  “Ice cream?”

  Vivian showed him the sign.

  “Okay, dude,” Kate said, pulling him into her arms and kissing his head. “Let’s give Vivian a break. The concert is going to start soon, enough twenty questions.”

  Vivian chuckled and laid back on the grass.

  Their picnic, as it turned out, had not been from a scary hot dog vendor or a questionable gyro booth. Instead Vivian produced a full meal of nuts, cheeses, fruit, French bread, and tasty deli meats from her bag with a flourish. After Kate teased her about the healthy food, the trio had dived in, polishing it off without trouble.

  Max, refusing to stay in his mother’s lap, climbed on top of Vivian. His brows furrowed in thought, and he pulled her chin toward him in a childlike demand for attention. “How come we at a concert if you can’t hear it?”

  Vivian’s face grew thoughtful for a minute. “Lay down. Both of you.” They obeyed; Max only rolling onto his back atop Vivian, something that made her let out that deep, throaty chuckle. “Plug your ears and just feel.” They did. “See? Even though you can’t hear what’s happening around you, isn’t it relaxing? The grass, the sunshine, the people all having fun, isn’t it nice?”

  “Yeah!”

  Vivian caught the boy against her body and tickled him until his flailing legs got to be too much and she had to release him. He began to spin in place, letting himself get dizzy and fall, only to begin again, his face tilted toward the sun in exaltation.

  Kate tapped her on the shoulder and rolled to one side, her head propped up on her arm as Vivian did the same. “You’re really good with him.”

  “I like being with children. Though he specifically is wonderful, isn’t he?” Vivian’s smile was small but full of heart.

  They watched him for a moment, both chuckling each time Max came down hard on his butt, only to let out a titter and go again.

  “Do you want one of your own?”

  Vivian nodded. “But I suppose I need the woman first, before I get the child, don’t I?”

  Kate shrugged. “Or maybe not. It doesn’t necessarily take two to tango these days.”

  Vivian’s eyes fell back to Max. “Max’s secondary parent? You haven’t mentioned them.”

  The fingers of Kate’s free hand sprawled through the grass, running over the blades for a moment before she answered. “On purpose, I’m sure. That isn’t exactly a story that points out the best parts of me.”

  Vivian softly caught her chin, pulling it so it faced her instead of the ground. “What?”

  Blinking quickly, Kate repeated her comment and apologized yet again for forgetting.

  “And why doesn’t it paint a good picture?”

  “I don’t know, I was young. It’s a long story, I guess.”

  Vivian propped her head more securely on her fist, an expectant look on her face.

  Kate studied her for a moment. It was amazing how much Vivian could say simply with her expression. She had never seen anything like it before; was it because she was deaf or was it simply who she was? She was beginning to wonder if she could hold whole conversations with those eyes alone.

  And, she couldn’t help but notice, there was something wildly sexy about her as she lay there, sprawled in the grass, eyes only for Kate.

  She flushed all over again, her cheeks barely cool from her last blush, but before she could begin her story the question finally popped from her mouth. “Why are you being so different to me?” Vivian’s eyebrows popped comically high, so Kate rushed on. �
��I don’t think it was the apology. I don’t know, but a few days ago I would have said you hated me, and now… I’m confused. I mean, am I crazy?” She tried her best to hide her vulnerable discomfort with a showy laugh. “What happened, lady?”

  Vivian let out a long breath, her hand now the one to guiltily play with a strand of grass. “No, it wasn’t the apology. I knew you had misspoken the night of the fundraiser, long before you apologized.”

  “You did?” Kate scowled, her voice flat.

  “I did. Charlie told me, but there was no need for that, I already knew. I don’t think I knew that at first, but I saw you speaking to Ms. Campbell a few minutes after and your face was so” – she searched for words, her outstretched index finger bouncing flat off of her shoulder as she dug for the translation – “stricken. It was evident that I had misunderstood. And you did have a point, Kate. I was being rude.”

  Kate stared, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Wha— why – why didn’t you say anything? I was so… you were purposely torturing me!”

  Vivian shrugged, a playful smile lighting on her lips. “I do have an evil side.”

  “Yeah, getting that!” Kate rolled her eyes.

  “I don’t know,” Vivian said, her playful demeanor fading into nothing and taking Kate’s indignation with it. “I was upset. So many don’t realize that the words they say matter to someone like me. Words are perhaps one of the most harmful things, and their power is so often underestimated.” She took a deep breath, plucking a strand of grass and then dropping it in agitation. “I suppose I wanted you to fully understand why I was upset. I know you meant well, but the way you presented yourself, the way you spoke, was less than kind. You were right: we were there to teach children, but children learn the most when we don’t think they are listening, as I’m sure you know. I can be a bit… abrasive at times, but what if I had been a child? What if a child just beside you had been listening?”

  “Yeah, I know, I—”

  “Anyway, I think I was waiting to see what your next move was going to be. I was” – her face blossomed into a sly smile then – “interested.”

  “Interested?”

  “Intrigued.”

  “Intrigued?”

  “I like that you approached me. Most people are not willing to do that. They are too busy trying to treat me like ‘everybody else’ to realize that they very much are not. And I – I liked it. Charlie and I spoke of the incident a few times, and I think she convinced me that I was being, well, as I can be. So I agreed to dinner.”

  Kate was gaping again.

  “When you called me out via email, I liked that too. I decided to give you a chance. And I’m glad I did.” She gave her a quick smile. “Now, tell me about Max’s other parent.”

  Kate cleared her throat, deciding it was best not to wonder what “interested,” “intrigued,” or “I liked it” meant. “I said it was a long story, but that’s not so true. Actually it’s kind of embarrassing how much there isn’t really a story. What can I say? I’m a statistic. I went to a bar one night with a few friends, had a few drinks too many, and before I knew it I was waking up next to some guy.”

  “Max’s father?”

  “Yup.”

  “Does Max see him often?”

  “Never. He was a little older; okay, he was a lot older. I guess a twenty-five-year-old was a good lay, but not the best dating material, especially for a married man.” Vivian’s eyebrows tightened, but Kate found that she didn’t feel judged like she often did when she told this story. If anything, she could feel Vivian’s silent support. “He took off pretty quickly the next morning, and I never bothered to tell him I was pregnant. I don’t think I could’ve found him to tell him I was pregnant if I wanted to. I don’t even know his last name.”

  “I see.”

  Kate watched Vivian sign one-handed as she thought. It really was beautiful. She was beautiful. “Yeah, like I said, not a great story about me.”

  Vivian slowly swiped a ladybug off of Kate’s hand. “I think on the list of mistakes we all can make, bringing Max into the world is not one of them.”

  Kate had to smile. “I can’t argue with you about that.”

  Vivian just smiled back.

  “So.” Kate cleared her throat, blinking rapidly after a few long seconds of silence. “Vivian. Each time I’ve heard you introduce yourself it is always ‘Vivian.’ Are you never a Vivi?”

  Vivian cringed, making her answer clear enough. “Are you always a Kate?”

  It was Kate’s turn to shudder. “On occasion I am known as Katelyn – like, at the pharmacy or in auditions where they use your name instead of a number.”

  “Well. On occasion, I am a Viv, thanks to Charlie, who is on occasion a Charlotte. However, I am more comfortable as Vivian.”

  There was a static crackle from the loudspeaker as it was clicked on, and a man cleared his throat, welcoming the crowd.

  Max scurried back to his mother, crawling tightly into her lap and watching as the faraway players picked up their instruments, listing off the ones he saw to no one in particular.

  “Did it start?” Vivian asked.

  Kate had sat up, but now she threw a glance to the woman lying next to her and nodded. Vivian smiled softly, her arms going under her head where she seemed content the entire show to relax and doze.

  Vivian wasn’t the only one to spend a good part of the concert in a light slumber. As the crowd clapped, Kate realized that Max, tired from the day’s excitements, had fallen into a deep sleep.

  “Is it over?” Vivian asked, her hand over her eyes to block the sun, despite the dark shade of the glasses over them.

  Kate nodded.

  “How did they sound?”

  “Good! The sound quality of the mics wasn’t the best, though.”

  “What?”

  “Uh, it was just sort of distorted is all.”

  Vivian stood, wiping the grass off of her, shouldering her belongings and looking agitated. Kate could see that the fierce woman she had originally met had reappeared. “I told those idiots to fix that. Damn it, how many complaints do we need to receive before they are willing to take the issue seriously? If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I need to catch them before they leave.”

  Kate smiled, knowing someone was about to lose an appendage. She was damned thankful it wasn’t going to be her. “Hold on, I’ll come with you.” She tried to get up, holding her sleeping son, but the boy was beginning to get seriously heavy.

  “Is he asleep?”

  “Completely.”

  Vivian waved her hands toward herself soundlessly and, assuming she was offering to help her up, Kate reached out only for Vivian to carefully transfer to her own shoulder. His little head lifted slowly, confused for a moment, then he smiled. “Hi, Viv’n,” he said, and let his head fall into her neck, drifting off instantly with his face buried under her hair.

  Kate’s jaw dropped. She was fairly certain that in all of the years he had been alive he had never willingly slept on anyone besides her. He didn’t like to be vulnerable that way. Usually, he would rather suffer and stay awake than sleep on a stranger. She stood and reached for him, but Vivian casually waved her hands away.

  “You sure? He’s getting heavy.”

  Vivian just winked and gestured up to the stage, signing something fast that Kate didn’t understand.

  “Okay then.” Kate nodded, not bothering to point out that she hadn’t understood as she followed behind her.

  Kate was surprised when she found Ash on the amphitheater stage, still putting her bass back into its case.

  “Flynn! Hey, I knew the day had just gotten hotter!” Kate gave a playful eye roll but let Ash pull her into a hug that was very tight far quicker than Ash was usually willing to do. “What are you doing here?” she asked, glancing over Kate’s shoulder as though that would tell her why Kate was there. “Did you come to hear me play?”

  “Oh, um,” Kate shifted in place a bit. “As much as I w
ould love the brownie points …”

  She jerked her head in the direction of Vivian, who was speaking with the park’s sound technician, Kate’s sleeping son cradled into her neck. She was clearly trying to yell at the man without waking Max, which meant she was overcompensating with her volume and screaming in a whisper.

  Kate’s lip twitched up in the corner, but she swallowed down the laugh. Vivian caught her eye, but instead of smiling, as she had done all day, her eyes swept quickly over Kate and Ash with a professionally blank expression. It was too blank. The look would have been menacingly scary had Max not been snoring on her shoulder, drool dampening her shirt.

  Was that look meant for her? Had she offended her in some way? Kate frowned as something flashed on Vivian’s face, but her arms crossed tightly under Max, her sharp eyes burning before she turned with open dismissal back to the sound engineer.

  Uneasy, Kate turned back to Ash, but Ash wasn’t looking at her. Usually when that was the case Ash was busy looking at her phone, but right now her phone was still placed on her music stand and instead she was searching the crowd. “Looking for someone?”

  Ash’s head snapped back around. “What?”

  “Who are you looking for?” Kate asked.

  “Who said that I’m looking for someone?”

  Kate’s eyebrows shot high in surprise. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy, I was just asking.”

  “It’s whatever. Don’t sweat it.” Ash shrugged, but her throat bobbed a bit.

  “You okay?”

  Ash flashed a huge smile. “So, what brings you out here?”

  “Vivian.” Kate pointed again. “I’m out with Vivian.”

  “You’re out with Vivian?” Ash asked in a deadpan. “It’s Vivian now?” She had been reaching for her phone, but now her hand dropped away, instead scrutinizing Kate. “You guys gal pals now, huh? An unlikely friendship and all that jazz?”

  Kate gave a snort. “She wanted to take Max to see the Bean.”

  “Oh. Yeah, I dig it. I see how it is,” Ash grumbled, petulance clear in her tone.

  “What? Because you don’t like her that means I can’t?”