The Loudest Silence (Part One)

by Olivia Janae

  There could be no ignoring that, with Vivian’s head tossed to the side the way it was, Kate was a breath away from her exposed neck. She could smell her skin and feel its warmth, setting her nerves alight. She couldn’t look away. She watched with painful clarity as one small bead of sweat trailed down the curve of her neck, following the flexing muscle. Her hands ached to rest on her, to pull her close.

  Slowly, as the song changed and their bodies still touched, the tension began to melt. In its place, the forced contact began to motivate Kate, sending a thrill of confidence through her. She let her hand fall to Vivian’s waist. She didn’t give herself time to think, she just held her and gave a strong and purposeful roll. Kate grinned when she felt Vivian shudder, her eyes finally snapping open and zeroing in on her with an unreadable intensity.

  She was getting that look again, the one that melted her from the inside out. Vivian’s already deep eyes grew dark as her hipbones met and circled her own, softly bouncing to the beat as she went. Kate hoped that the way her breath caught hadn’t been as obvious as it felt.

  Slowly Vivian smiled, her eyes twinkling with laughter, and Kate ducked her head, embarrassed and yet laughing a little as she smiled back at her date. “I—”

  Then she was spinning; her slightly jealous dance partner had given a playful tug so that Kate was forced around. She barely had time to register the smile from her dance partner before she was distracted, feeling hips brush lightly in a circle over her rear. She gasped, her hands closing tight on the woman’s sleeves in surprise, suddenly delightfully lightheaded as dexterous fingers clutched tightly on her ribs, holding her, touching her.

  She wanted more.

  Arms threaded under hers as Vivian pressed tightly against her back, making room to sign in front of her as she rumbled in her ear: “They are making us into a Kate and Vivian sandwich. Careful they don’t take a bite, my dear.”

  Kate smirked, rolling her eyes and tossing her head so she could look over her shoulder and comment. Her words dried. Their lips hovered a moment away from each other’s; the dance had made their breath quick.

  Kate’s hands closed into balls, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to regain her equilibrium, to center her swimming head and steady the pulse she had felt stir to life deep within her. She could feel each soft breeze of Vivian’s breath across her lips; each gust sent a wave of fire across her cheek.

  God, she couldn’t think. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to think.

  She watched those chocolate eyes narrow ever so slightly as they flicked over Kate’s face, studying it. Finally Vivian’s lips pursed and she looked away, beginning to remove her arms. Reflexively Kate’s hands shot to them, holding them in place against her. She hadn’t told her body to do it; they had just moved.

  Vivian’s head whipped back around, and a small and slightly strange sound jarred from her in surprise. Kate licked her lips and opened her mouth to tell her that she didn’t want her to let go, that she wanted to feel her hands on her, but she couldn’t say it.

  Vivian’s hands had closed on her ribs, ready to push away from her, but now they stopped, pausing a second before they spidered across her stomach, giving her a small tug so that Kate was flush against her.

  The tug was too much, the way that Vivian’s nose grazed her ear, the way that once she was leaning back against her, Vivian’s hands on her stomach balled again, holding her possessively, with a single thumb snagging at the edge of her belly button, pulling just a bit.

  Kate groaned, and her head fell back against Vivian’s shoulder.

  She had lost it.

  She had lost her control, and she didn’t want it back. Slowly, she rolled again and felt Vivian twitch, breathing into her neck. The prolonged contact was too much and not at all enough. Her body was beginning to ache, crying out for Vivian’s hands, Vivian’s skin. Kate’s mind had fogged over, only able to feel the places where Vivian was touching her, barely able to make her body hold the beat as she turned and one of Vivian’s hands tangled in her hair.

  She felt a flash of cold run through her, followed by a wave of heat when the fingers gave a small squeeze. Her eyes popped open and slid straight to Vivian’s, as though they had been commanded.

  Kate’s lip twitched into a smirk as Vivian’s tongue slowly dampened her own lips. Wrapped this way in Vivian’s arms, she felt something click into place. It made her laugh a little and lean closer. She needed this woman. She needed to touch her. She needed to taste her. Too long; it had been too long of not letting Vivian touch her the way that Vivian had apparently wanted to, the way that Kate wanted her to. Vivian’s hand uncurled from her hair and slowly slid down her neck, sprawling across her throat. She could see Vivian’s dark eyes flicking, and Kate’s lips parted as Vivian’s thumb gently caressed them.

  “Let’s go.”

  Kate’s lip snagged her teeth, and she gave a nod.

  They were silent as they disentangled themselves from the forgotten women, Kate barely hearing their cries of outrage as they walked to the coat check and out of the club, hands not touching, but every now and then brushing together with an electric zap. There was simply no room for anything spoken.

  They stepped onto the train and sat together, thighs almost touching, and though they were still miles from Kate’s home, their eyes met, and it was as though they were caressing, kissing, drawing the other to their pinnacle. A small whimper released from Vivian’s throat.

  They watched the other passengers, they watched the outside scenery go by, but neither could have said what they saw, both too focused on the occasional electric jab, the humming pulse that was increasing between their bodies.

  Exiting the train in silence, they walked just close enough, both struggling to pull in a deep breath. Kate’s head swam as she listened to Vivian’s heels click on the sidewalk beside her, every now and then glancing up and taking in the dark focus of the other woman.

  They entered the security door of Kate’s apartment and, tortuously slow, climbed the stairs. Kate fiddled with the keys, wanting to run, wanting to hurry, but instead she took her time, watching Vivian.

  Finally, she pulled her eyes from Vivian’s and turned toward the door, needing her concentration to unlock all of the bolts.

  Feather light, Kate felt fingers push aside the hair at the nape of her neck as Vivian stepped close. Kate swallowed thickly, trying not to chide herself as her fingers fumbled with the keys, her shoulders tight with agitation.

  She could feel Vivian’s arms close around her waist, could feel the small chuckle that blew past her neck as soft lips touched her there, barely a brush. Kate cried out in surprise, feeling that little brush through her entire body, steadying herself on the door in front of her. She blushed, thankful that Vivian hadn’t heard the sound, or its volume. Another laugh tickled her ear, scrambling Kate’s mind as Vivian reached around her and took the keys from her. Kate just watched, dazed and anxious, as Vivian unlocked the door and then placed the keys back in her malfunctioning hand.

  Kate set them unhurriedly on the coffee table, her blush still radiating from the spot where Vivian had kissed her. She could feel it burn with pleasure, feel it stir something inside of her. She hadn’t felt this in a very long time, not to this level or intensity; it made her a little unsure of how to move forward. Slowly, she ran her hand through her hair, fluffing it a bit as she kicked off her heels. She liked the way that Vivian watched her do it, the way she was simply leaning with her back to the wall. She didn’t look nervous about joining her as much as she wanted to watch Kate do whatever it was that would come next.

  A playful smile crept over Kate’s lips as she turned, clicking off the light and starting toward her bedroom.

  She didn’t have to wait long before Vivian was there again, leaning against the doorframe, this time with her arms crossed, watching as Kate deliberately, green eyes never leaving warm brown, reached behind her and began to unzip her own dress. Vivian’s eyebrow rose, and Kate just stared
back, pulling the zipper down, waiting, daring her to cross the floor.

  She knew when Vivian had had enough; her shoulders squared, and in two steps, Vivian was there, hovering so close. Warm hands hooked under either strap and ran them down off of her shoulders. Her palms slid the length of her arms and then quickly back up, thumbs settling in the curve of her jaw, forcing her face up to hers.

  Kate had expected something like seduction in those eyes, some kind of wild, teasing amusement, something like what they always held. What was there caught her off guard. Under the sensual smoldering that Vivian was so good at, what Kate saw was raw: it was pleasure, pain, possession, apprehension, and joyous happiness. It made Kate’s breath catch in her throat as the realization came: if they did this, it would be so much more than sex. It would be the start of a relationship.

  Did that change her mind?

  She didn’t bother to linger on that question. She already knew her answer, had perhaps answered it when she had agreed to this evening.

  She reached up, her thoughts elsewhere, and ran a finger over the back of Vivian’s hand, thinking of their power, of what they did on a normal basis, their fluid motion. She was so close that she saw when Vivian’s eyes flicked down to follow, her lips curling up on one side. She seemed surprised as Kate touched her hands, her way of communicating, and that pulled a gentle vulnerability out of Vivian, the last of her smolder dropping away.

  With that Kate leaned forward and brushed her lips lightly against Vivian’s, touching, but not kissing; the rest would be Vivian’s choice.

  She waited.

  Vivian’s lips parted, just a bit, and a small sound rose from her throat, a little whimper, perhaps a moan, that sent shivers down Kate’s spine. She could feel how tightly she was holding Vivian’s upper arms, pulling them to her. A small smile drifted across Vivian’s face and then she was there again, her lips traveling over Kate’s, making her marvel at their softness, the waxy, cosmetic taste of her lipstick.

  The kiss was agonizing – the way that Vivian moved, her lips constantly distancing and then reshaping with hers, her tongue trailing along her own as if she knew exactly what would melt Kate.

  Impatient, Kate tried to deepen the kiss, but Vivian’s lips just curled into a smile and she moved back, making Kate whimper with frustration as she chased her. Her hands moved, snaring her by the back of the neck, catching her.

  They burst into motion then, producing wave after wave of heat as Kate quickly pulled away Vivian’s dress. She felt alive, her skin sizzling where Vivian’s bare stomach touched her own. She felt herself lifted to her toes as Vivian clutched her hips, curling the band of her panties around her fingers, speaking volumes on exactly how much she wanted them off. Kate just pushed her, walking her back and toward the bed, her lips moving down Vivian’s slender throat, sucking at her pulse point, catching a bit of skin between her teeth. With a throaty chuckle, Vivian’s fingers crawled up her body, reaching for the hooks that would free more of her skin.

  Had she expected this? Kate wasn’t sure. Had this been something she knew would happen when she and Vivian went out?

  Kate’s head was spinning, holding her on the precipice of lost. She scrambled up Vivian’s body, straddling her knees, and instead of sinking back into her lips like she wanted to, she pushed, making herself sit up, reveling at the sight of Vivian beneath her, her chest rising and falling quickly, her eyes wild with desire – for her. She couldn’t believe that look was for her.

  She took in her bare torso, the lace-covered breasts, the small line down her stomach, her lace-covered hips.

  “God, you’re beautiful.”

  If Vivian saw her lips move, then she simply chose not to respond. Instead, she trailed her fingers down Kate’s stomach, which twitched and danced like a marionette.

  Kate leaned down and trailed her nose up the center of Vivian’s stomach, breathing her in. Then came hands folding into Kate’s hair, their lips dancing together, consuming all of her attention. Her hips moved against Vivian’s; she felt her hand come down to her hip and pull, squeezing gently. Kate couldn’t help but obey; her thigh, which had been resting between Vivian’s, came up and pressed into her as she rolled. Vivian’s head fell back, and she released a loud, coarse sound.

  Kate gave a start, her lips disconnecting with a small pop, her body stilling for only a second, but a second was enough.

  Instantly Vivian’s hands were at her chest, not quite covering herself as her face paled. Kate pulled all the way back to sitting on her knees, her hands off of Vivian’s body, worried that she had done something very wrong.

  If a shirt had been handy or a blanket had been available to her, Vivian would have used it to hide herself. Her eyes, in a moment’s time, had gone from melted chocolate to ice, the line of her jaw and her lips suddenly hard and thin. “What?” Vivian demanded, her eyes dark and wild, her voice dripping with malice.

  Kate blanched. “Whoa, nothing! I promise! Nothing!” She didn’t know why she hadn’t expected it, the difference in timbre and the volume of Vivian’s sounds. She sounded different when she spoke, why wouldn’t she sound different in this situation too?

  “Do not lie to me, Katelyn Flynn!”

  Kate felt her heart shift pace, fluttering and uncomfortable as she leaned down. She hadn’t meant to offend Vivian; the sound had just been unlike one she had heard from Vivian before. Giving Vivian time to pull away if she needed to, she took her bottom lip between her teeth, sucking until another small sound wrenched from the unwilling woman. “I like the way you sound,” Kate whispered, lifting her head back so Vivian could see her lips move.

  Vivian cleared her throat. “Oh. I, uh, I, well, it takes a certain amount of… control… to keep my voice… normal.” Vivian’s gaze dropped from Kate’s face. Her fingers played with a crease in the blanket as her cheeks flushed. “Which means, I guess, that there are times when I lose it… control, I mean. I’ve been told that I sound …” Vivian’s hand twitched over her stomach, wrapping around herself protectively. “I’ve been told I sound quite strange.”

  Kate watched her stumble, her eyebrows slowly lifting at the unusual show.

  “It’s why I haven’t been with a hearing woman in a while. I’m sorry if—”

  Kate kissed the apology away, letting her fingers brazenly circle a nipple just so she could pull another sound from her. “I said I like it.”

  Vivian’s eyes flicked to Kate’s, looking for a hint that perhaps Kate was lying to her. She must have found nothing but longing because the last bit of the fog in her eyes drifted away and, tentatively, she began to smile.

  “How long is long?”

  “What?”

  “Since you’ve been with a hearing woman?”

  “There was Ashley, but that was—”

  “Gaaaah.” Kate shook her head. “I meant dated. I don’t – I don’t want to hear about that right now.”

  “Why do you ask, Kate?”

  “I’ve been – I dunno – should I be worried? I mean, I’ve been worried.”

  Vivian shifted. “A few years, at least.”

  “Are we really so different?” she asked, not happy about Vivian’s answer.

  Vivian’s shoulders slumped, letting out a sigh as she admitted, “Yes.”

  Kate hadn’t expected an answer so honest, and while she didn’t like it, she did appreciate it. Kate kissed her again, refusing her hesitance. She wanted to ask why they were so different, what being with a hearing woman was like for Vivian. Instead she just kissed her, feeling Vivian’s usual confidence grow as she rolled into her again, her lips sucking at her throat. Hearing women might be different than deaf, but Kate didn’t really care. She would do what it took to make it easy on Vivian.

  Their shared breath grew rough as Kate moved down her jaw and chest, burying her face in her cleavage, a heartfelt “oh my god” whimpering from her lips as she surrounded her, taking the skin into her mouth and leaving a small love bite just above the cusp of lace.


  Vivian let out a whine that she didn’t seem to notice, leaning up and pushing higher to reach Kate’s breasts with her lips.

  Kate’s hands clutched convulsively at the sheet above her new lover as she fell forward into the sweet-smelling hair, a deep moan coming all the way from the tips of her toes.

  A flick of sadness darted across Kate’s mind as she realized that she wanted Vivian to be able to hear that, to hear the sounds she pulled from her.

  She cried out again as Vivian switched, her hands running over Kate, pulling her tighter against her and grunting in pleasure. Kate pulled Vivian’s head back by the temples and kissed her severely, trying to fill Vivian with herself.

  It was intoxicating, and Kate wanted so much more.

  So she took it.

  She breathed in the scent of Vivian’s skin as she moved down her body. Her hand reached and locked with Vivian’s as she carefully licked a trail along Vivian’s inner thigh, watching as Vivian whimpered, her eyebrows drawn together, jaw trembling.

  Kate smiled to herself as Vivian twitched hard when she touched her lightly first and then deepened the touch.

  Vivian’s cries, perhaps some of the loudest, most beautiful she had ever heard, picked up pace almost instantly, and though Kate hadn’t intended to, she sent Vivian into her first spiraling orgasm with the barest of touches.

  “Oh my god!” Vivian cried, covering her face. “I’m sorry, it’s been so long …”

  Kate frowned. “Didn’t you just – Rachel?”

  “Do you sleep with everyone you date, Kate?”

  Jubilantly ignoring her, Kate peppered kisses up her body, along her jaw, over her temple, down her chest, so she could kiss her lips again as she sank gently but purposefully into her. She loved the way she tasted, the way her lipstick smudged down her lips, the way she moved.