All We Never Knew

by Elena Aitken

  As soon as the girls walked down the stairs into Mason’s basement, Rylee made a point to introduce Cole to Sienna. “You know each other, right?”

  “Yeah,” Cole grunted. “We were in the same…”

  “English class last year,” Sienna finished quickly.

  Rylee raised her eyebrow at her friend, but if Cole had noticed her eagerness, he didn’t seem to mind.

  “That’s it,” he said. “How’s it going?”

  Satisfied that the introductions had been made properly, Rylee found Brice. There was a movie on, but almost at once she was way too busy with Brice’s lips to pay any attention to what it was. They sat on a big overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and Brice had his arms wrapped around her, with Rylee perched on his lap.

  At first she’d been a little shy making out with everyone else right there, but as soon as he started kissing her, it didn’t take long before she forgot all about it. Besides, no one else seemed to care, so why should she?

  “You’re so damn sexy,” Brice whispered in her ear before he kissed her neck.

  Sexy? Rylee had been told she was pretty before, and she knew she had nice hair and a not terrible face. Her body was lean from years of swimming, but she’d certainly never thought of herself as sexy. But if Brice thought she was, well…that’s all she needed. And the way his lips traveled down her neck as he kissed and sucked on the skin there—well, that definitely felt very sexy.

  Rylee closed her eyes and tilted her head so he could get better access as a small moan that should have mortified her slipped from her lips.

  “Get a room, you two.”

  Someone threw a pillow at them and it hit her back before landing with a thud on the floor.

  “Okay, okay.” Brice laughed and lifted Rylee off him and slipped away, leaving her sitting alone. In a love-induced daze, she touched her fingers to her lips and smiled as she watched him cross the room before she caught Sienna staring at her. She lifted her eyebrows in a what the hell? expression, but Rylee just laughed it off. She’d understand one day. Especially if she could successfully hook her up with Cole.

  Fueled by the idea, she moved over to the couches where everyone else was sitting and tapped the boy’s shoulder. “Cole, Brice told me you’re playing on the school’s hockey team next season.”

  She couldn’t have cared less about hockey, and in fact, Brice hadn’t told her anything about Cole at all, but Rylee paid attention. It’s not that she knew much about the guy, but she knew enough to know the one thing he liked to talk about was hockey. In fact, it was the only thing she’d ever heard him talk about.

  Just like Rylee hoped, Cole looked away from the movie. “I am.” A dopey grin stretched across his face. “I think I’ll have a good chance at making the starting lineup, too.”

  Rylee smiled and pretended to look interested, but she was very aware of Brice watching her from across the room and what she really wanted to be doing involved having his lips back on her neck. “That’s great. What position do you play?” Before he could answer, Rylee made her move. “Actually, I don’t really know that much about hockey, but Sienna has been going to games with her dad for years and she knows way more than I do, don’t you?”

  She gave her friend a look that she hoped expressed everything she needed it to, and just as Rylee suspected, Sienna responded by shooting her a dangerous look. Cole didn’t notice, though, and without missing a beat, he shifted his attention to Sienna and started chatting with her about her favorite teams, players, and other things Rylee couldn’t have cared less about. But judging by the way Sienna’s face shifted into a pretty shade of pink, she actually did care, or more likely, cared about who it was she was talking to.

  Either way, mission accomplished.

  With a satisfied grin on her face, Rylee pushed up from the chair and went to join Brice, who stood at the bar in the corner of Mason’s rec room. He had his hand on a bottle of amber-colored liquid when she came to stand next to him and slid an arm casually around his waist.

  “Want a drink?”

  She didn’t. But more than that, she didn’t want him to think she was a baby. Brice had made it clear on more than one occasion that he wasn’t interested in dating a little girl. He needed a woman. And Rylee might still be a few weeks shy of her sixteenth birthday, but that didn’t matter. She was definitely not a baby. Besides, maybe the amber liquid would give her that same warm feeling inside and pleasant buzz that the wine had. “Of course.”

  He gave her that sexy slow smile that never failed to make her knees dip a bit and handed her a glass. “Cheers.”

  Rylee had no idea what she was holding in her hand, of course, but there was no way she was going to ask and remind him that she wasn’t as mature and sophisticated as the other girls he dated. So with only the slightest hesitation, she raised the glass to her lips and took a sip.

  The liquid burned the back of her throat and despite her best effort, Rylee burst into a painful coughing fit. It took everything she had to keep it down and her eyes watered from the effort.

  Brice took the glass out of her hand and laughed. “Maybe you’re not ready for rum yet.”

  Rum? On their trip to the Caribbean a few years ago, every night her parents would both have a rum and Coke around the pool. A rum and Coke. “I usually drink my rum with Coke,” Rylee managed to say as casually as she could considering the way her throat was still burning. “It’s a little strong on its own, don’t you think?”

  He met her eyes and took a sip for himself. Brice didn’t have to say anything for Rylee to see that the rum was plenty strong for him without any mix, too. Without a word, he found a can of soda and added to first Rylee’s drink, and then his own before leading her back to the chair, where they spent the rest of the evening drinking and making out.

  It was the best night ever until Sienna started to tug on her arm. “Rylee! Come on!”

  She blinked and tried to open her eyes but it felt as if someone had poured sand in them. Her head was pounding and it was hard to breathe. But Rylee blinked through the grit, and then again until her friend came into view. Mostly. She was blurry, as if she were underwater.

  “Wake up, Rylee. We have to go.”

  Go? Wake up?

  Rylee blinked again and tried to bring her arm up to rub at her eyes but it wouldn’t move. With effort, she turned her head, which caused a lightning bolt of pain to flash through it to see Brice draped across her, which would explain why it was so hard to breathe. When had they fallen asleep?

  “What time is it?”

  “It’s almost four. Come on. We have to go.”

  Rylee still couldn’t focus on her, but every time she looked at Sienna, she was a little less blurry.

  “Four?” She couldn’t seem to clear her head and her mouth was painfully dry, as if she’d swallowed cotton.

  Sienna tugged on her arm again. “You can stay if you want. But if my mom wakes up and we’re not there, she’s going to kill me and probably tell your mom, too.”

  She was right and even in her fuzzy state, Rylee knew it. She wiggled and pushed and somehow managed to get out from under Brice’s body and to the floor. Except for a slight groan, he barely noticed. The second she was free, Rylee took a deep gulping breath but hardly had a chance to gather her thoughts before Sienna was pulling her up to her feet.

  “Oh my God.” The whole room spun and Rylee would have fallen over if Sienna hadn’t have grabbed her and held her up.

  “How much did you drink?”

  Rylee knew it wouldn’t matter what she said. Sienna was totally disgusted with her and she knew enough to know that if she was mad now, she’d be totally pissed if they didn’t get home on time. She had to pull it together.

  The cool early morning air hit them with a refreshing blast and that was probably a very good thing. Rylee wanted to ask her friend if she’d talked with Cole, if they’d hit it off and how they’d all managed to fall asleep. Had Sienna been drinking too? She couldn’t i
magine that she had, but…

  All of the questions Rylee wanted to ask were forgotten as she focused on putting one foot in front of the other, only stopping once to throw up in a shrub. To her credit, Sienna didn’t get mad or say anything when Rylee got sick. Instead, she pulled her hair—messy from sleep— back from her face and wrapped an elastic around it.

  Somehow they managed to make it into the house and up the stairs to Sienna’s bedroom.

  “Sienna? I’m really…how did…” She couldn’t finish either thought because the moment Rylee’s head hit the pillow, she fell into a deep sleep. Hours later, when she finally woke up, she was alone.

  Maren

  The rest of the weekend went by without incident. Rylee returned home late on Sunday from her sleepover with Sienna, and claiming she was exhausted, went straight to her room to sleep most of the rest of the day. It wasn’t unusual for Rylee to be tired after a sleepover, not when the two girls routinely stayed up until the wee hours of the morning watching videos and raiding the kitchen. Maren was just glad it hadn’t been at their house. She never could get a good night’s sleep with the two of them giggling all night.

  Not that she minded. Not really. It was nice that her daughter had such a great friend. Just like she and Sabrina had been at that age. Just thinking of her best friend made her both equally sad and mad. She missed Sabrina and she hated the way they’d left things, but there was no way Maren was going to reach out. Not when it was Sabrina who’d been so terrible.

  She’d thought more than once about talking to Davis about it, but in the end, Maren decided to wait and see what the new week would bring. Maybe Sabrina just needed a few days to calm down before reaching out. She’d apologize for flying off the handle and Maren would apologize for swearing at her and they’d both have a good laugh before talking about how great it would be to have babies the same age, just like they’d wanted all those years ago.

  Yes. It would be okay. Everything would be fine.

  And her body must have felt the same sense of peace because when she woke up on Monday morning, the nausea that had plagued her for days before was gone.

  There was a lightness in her step as she walked into the kitchen forty minutes later to see Rylee already showered and ready for school. “Good morning, kiddo. Are you feeling better?”

  Maren walked directly over to her and before Rylee could dodge her, pressed a hand to her forehead.

  Automatically, Rylee squirmed away. “I’m fine, Mom. I was just tired.”

  Her voice was defensive the way it always seemed to be lately, but Maren refused to react. “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling rested at least. Anything exciting happening today?”

  “Same old.”

  Maren kept half an eye on her daughter as she poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat at the table. She claimed it as a victory, no matter how small, that Rylee hadn’t simply grabbed an apple and headed straight for the door the way she had the week before. She set the coffee to brew for Davis and made herself a cup of tea before sitting at the table.

  Rylee looked up at her with question but didn’t say anything, so Maren watched her for a moment. She looked so grown up in her sweater and skinny jeans, her eye makeup carefully done. But at the same time, her ponytail reminded Maren that she was still a little girl. Not quite a child. Not yet a woman. Maren’s heart swelled and she had to blink back a hot tear.

  “What?” Rylee stared at her, the spoon full of granola raised halfway to her mouth.

  “I was just thinking that I’m glad you’re not still mad at me.”

  It wasn’t something Maren knew or had even talked about. In fact, she was mostly guessing. But the night before, after spending most of the afternoon in her room, Rylee had come downstairs and sat on the couch between her and Davis as they watched an old Adam Sandler movie they’d all seen a hundred times. Rylee hadn’t said much, but Maren was willing to take it as a sign that maybe she was also finished processing and was no longer mad at her parents for getting knocked up.

  “Whatever,” she said. “I’m still not totally okay with it.” Rylee shrugged and the smallest making of a smile touched at her lips. “But I guess it won’t be totally terrible having a little brother or sister. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to be at home for much longer, so you can’t really rope me into babysitting too much.” Her smile was full blown then, so Maren could only shake her head and smile along with her.

  It was easier to smile and make light of the fact that Rylee was right, than to actually think about it for too long. Because the reality was, she would have one child in college and one in preschool. If she let it, the idea would completely terrify her.

  And that was the last thing she needed.

  “Your dad is running late.” Maren changed the subject. “He said he’d drive you to school if you like.” She poured her tea into a thermal cup to take with her, because she was also going to be late if she didn’t get moving. “I should probably get going, too. I was hoping to get into the office early today, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  “Early?” It wasn’t totally unheard of for Maren to go in early, but she usually only made the effort when there was a big client presentation scheduled that she could help out with, or some other equally important event.

  Like the start of a new job.

  “That’s right.” Rylee finally connected the dots. “Today’s the first day of your new job.”

  Maren lifted her brand-new leather portfolio, now with a few papers tucked inside, and forced a smile because she was right. It was her first day. But what Rylee didn’t know, and what she hadn’t even discussed with Davis, was that it might be her first day, but it would also be her last.

  Every morning when Maren walked in through the front doors of the PlayTime offices, Sandra, the receptionist, greeted her with a smile and a wave and without fail, every single morning she’d say the same thing: “It’s a beautiful day out there today, isn’t it?”

  Sandra was the type of woman who saw every day for what it could be and not the way it actually was. An eternal optimist and exactly the type of woman you wanted working at a company who specialized in creating spaces for children’s enjoyment.

  Every day after Sandra’s usual greeting, Maren would answer her with a smile and a wave of her own because no matter what else had happened that morning—an argument with Rylee about homework, too much traffic, or even a flat tire—Sandra’s enthusiasm for life never failed to be contagious. Maren often wondered what she’d been like as a young mother with toddlers pulling her in every different direction, or how Sandra had dealt with the teenage years while still keeping her cool. She’d often made a mental note to ask the older woman, but never did seem to find the right time.

  But that morning when Maren walked through the doors of PlayTime, Sandra wasn’t behind her desk. Maren stopped and waited, unsure of how exactly to proceed. Not one time in the five years Maren had worked there had Sandra not been at her desk in the morning. She looked up and down the hall, as if the receptionist would appear out of thin air and tell her what a beautiful day it was. She needed Sandra to tell her because whatever else it was going to be that day, it wasn’t going to be beautiful. It was going to be incredibly hard when she talked to Eileen, and she could really do with an injection of positive vibes.

  But after waiting a few minutes, Maren decided she was being silly. Surely she couldn’t stand there all day waiting for the woman who was probably in the break room putting on a pot of coffee or she’d run to the washroom or some other equally reasonable explanation. Besides, even if Sandra did greet her and tell her what a great day it was going to be, that wasn’t going to change anything. So Maren did the only thing she could. She took a deep breath, pulled her shoulders back and pasted a smile on her face before turning to walk up the stairs that would take her to the offices of upper management. And Eileen.

  She might as well get it out of the way first thing.

  If there had been any
other choice, Maren would have taken it. But she’d gone over it in her head all weekend, and she knew in her heart it wasn’t the right thing to do. She couldn’t possibly accept the offer for the promotion when she knew she wouldn’t be able to give it her full attention the way she’d planned. Sure, she’d be able to work for a few more months before the baby was born, but there was sure to be dozens of appointments and ultrasounds. After all, Doctor Harrison had called the pregnancy high risk, so she couldn’t rule out the chance of complications or even bed rest.

  She’d be distracted and never mind what would happen after the baby was born.

  Maren and Davis had made the choice for Maren to concentrate on motherhood instead of a career when Rylee was born. They’d discussed it at length, but it had never been a choice for Maren. The formative years were crucial for child development and bonding, and although many of the women she knew had returned to work and their children had all thrived in the care of others, it had never been the right choice for Maren. And with Davis making enough money to support them all, it had been an easy decision and one she’d never regretted.

  Those early years filled with peek-a-boo, first steps, and first words had been priceless. And then when Rylee was a bit older, homemade playdough, finger painting, and days filled with story time and crafts until finally she started school and Maren started volunteering. She was class mom all through the younger grades and would spend her days on field trips to the zoo, reading groups, and cutting and pasting with the students while they worked on various crafts that the teachers dreamed up. They’d been some of the best years that she and Rylee had spent together. And sure, she’d sacrificed the opportunity for a career, but it had been worth it. Every moment.