Bonnie

by Iris Johansen

  “It doesn’t matter if I’m a little erratic. Live with it.” He strode into the brush. “We’ve got to get moving.”

  A knife in his hand …

  * * *

  “HOW MUCH FARTHER?” EVE asked as she glanced behind her. “Are you ready to tell me where we’re—”

  The metal of his knife was gleaming in Danner’s hand.

  Eve stopped short, her breath catching in her throat. She watched him touch the edge of the blade with an almost caressing forefinger. He was looking down at the knife in total fascination, then his thumb was stroking the hilt as if it were alive. “Danner?”

  He lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were clouded, and she wasn’t sure that he recognized her.

  This was not good.

  What Father Barnabas had said about Danner shifting from sanity to madness in the space of a moment flew back to her. This could well be one of those moments. She had to be extremely wary.

  “Why do you have the knife out?” She moistened her lips. “Do you need to cut this brush? It doesn’t seem any worse than—” He wasn’t listening to her. She had to break through the dark fog that seemed to surround him. It had caught her off guard. He had been silent for the last few hours, but he hadn’t said much since their journey had begun. She’d had no idea that such danger had been brewing. She had been focused on just getting to their destination, getting to Bonnie.

  And she would never find Bonnie if she couldn’t control the actions of this man who seemed to teeter back and forth on a lethal tightrope.

  Think.

  If she ran, then he’d be after her in a heartbeat.

  Danner had Ranger training. She had been taught to defend herself, but she was not Catherine and did not have her skills.

  Okay, then it had to be verbal attack.

  “You don’t want to cut brush with that knife,” she said quietly. “You want to use it on me. Why, Danner? I’ve done what I promised. I thought you wanted to take me to Bonnie. Why give it up now?”

  “The demons,” he whispered. “They’re trying to get to me. I can feel them push and pull at me. But I won’t let them do it.”

  Demons. Use the demons that obsessed him to control him. “That’s right, keep them away. But you’re not thinking straight. You said you wanted to give me to Bonnie. What good would it do to kill me now? You had a reason to take me to Bonnie, or you would have killed me when we were with Father Barnabas back at the church.” She wasn’t getting through to him. Try another path. “Or do you think I’m a demon too, Danner?”

  “I’m not sure. I didn’t … think so. The little girl didn’t think you were a demon. She wanted you.” He was frowning. “But sometimes the demons take over, and I can’t tell the difference until they’re ready to pounce. They don’t always look like demons.”

  “I’m not a demon.” She turned and moved slowly back toward where he stood. Not too fast. No threat. She could already see him tensing. She stopped before him. “As you said, Bonnie doesn’t think I’m a demon.”

  “But maybe she’s one now, too,” he whispered. “Maybe they caught her when I wasn’t around to keep them away.” His eyes were suddenly glittering with tears. “I hope they didn’t. God, I hope they didn’t. I have to stop them. I have to stop all of you.”

  His hand was tightening on the knife. Eve could see the muscles of his body tightening, readying to spring forward toward her.

  She instinctively braced herself. No, stop it before she had to defend herself. “Bonnie isn’t a demon either. I’d know it if she had changed.” She stared him in the eye. “Remember, you said you saw us together and you could see how much we loved each other. Do demons love? I don’t think so.”

  “No, hate,” he said hoarsely. “Only hate.”

  “Then you wouldn’t have chosen to take me to her if you hadn’t been sure that she had love for me. Isn’t that right?”

  “Maybe. I’m confused right now.”

  But his hand had never loosened on the knife.

  “That’s because the demons want you to be confused. They don’t want you to take me to Bonnie. They know that if I’m with her, I’ll protect her, that I’ll never let them have her.” She took a step closer so that she was only inches from him. “I’d keep all the forces of darkness away from my Bonnie. There isn’t an angel or demon who could stop me from doing that. Look at me, Danner. You’ll see it.” She reached down and lifted his hand grasping the knife until the blade was pressing against her throat. She held his gaze with all the passion and strength of will that was her love for Bonnie. “See it,” she repeated fiercely. “And if you don’t, then use that knife that’s at my throat.”

  It was a gamble. His hand was shaking, and she could feel the blade prick her skin.

  Believe me, she willed the thought with every bit of her mind and soul. I have to bring my Bonnie home. It can’t end like this.

  His eyes were flickering, shifting, changing.

  Help me, Bonnie. Help me, baby.

  He stepped back, and the hand with the knife fell to his side.

  Eve let out the breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

  The moment of danger had passed … for now.

  Had she convinced him? Or had Danner’s madness, which always seemed to be hovering in the shadows, just retreated?

  Or had Eve been given the help for which she’d prayed?

  It didn’t matter. Danner’s eyes were clear, his expression as close to normal as she’d experienced since he’d taken her. She moistened her lips again. “You do believe me. That’s good. I’m glad that you’ve gotten over that particular misconception. I don’t usually have to defend myself against the charge of being a demon, and I have to really reach to do it.”

  He was gazing at her in bewilderment. “You’re joking with me.”

  “Purely involuntary. I admit to being a little shaken, and that’s how I generally handle it.”

  “You’re frightened,” he said slowly.

  “You caught me off guard. A knife usually has that effect on me.”

  He was staring at her with an expression that had an odd element of regret. “I do have to kill you. I can’t do anything else. You didn’t seem afraid before. I was … surprised.”

  “Get over it. As I said, you caught me off guard. This time self-preservation kicked in.” Her lips tightened. “You’re worrying that I’ll break my word about making it easy for you? You’re wondering if it’s worth it to you to wait and take me to where you want to … do it.”

  “Yes.”

  “I won’t lie to you. I’m not afraid to die. Sometimes there seems to be more waiting for me there than here. But that’s only sometimes. Self-preservation, Danner. If I can live, I’ll do it. But you won’t have to worry about my being difficult for you until after you’ve taken me to where I can find my daughter.” She met his eyes. “I’m not as sure as you are that she wants what you want. I’ll have to see.”

  He didn’t speak for a moment. “You’re … honest. I knew that from the moment I met you when you were just a kid. You were pregnant and alone, and you were still fighting and telling the world to get out of your way.”

  “I wasn’t entirely alone. There are good people in this world, Danner. I thought you were one of them. You would have helped me if I’d asked, wouldn’t you?”

  “You didn’t ask. You didn’t want me. You didn’t want John.”

  “Is that why you killed my daughter?” Her hands clenched. “You did kill her, didn’t you? Tell me.”

  He didn’t answer. “I thought you were right, that John would want to be free if he came back from Korea. I was glad you didn’t want him to marry you just because you were having his kid. I would have helped you, but I didn’t want you hanging on John, keeping him back.”

  Memories of that time were bombarding her. Nights of passion with John Gallo. The first moment she’d seen Bonnie at the hospital. This was becoming incredibly hard.

  “I never wanted to hurt John,
” she said unevenly. “But I did hurt him by keeping my daughter to myself. I never realized that until later. I was given a special gift, and I wouldn’t share it. Did you realize that I’d hurt him and wanted to strike back? I just don’t understand.”

  “I’d never let you hurt John,” Danner said roughly. “I’d never let anyone hurt him.”

  She’d struck a nerve. “Yet you’re doing it now. Don’t you know how John feels about what you’re doing? He loves you, and he can’t understand what you’ve become.”

  “I know.” Danner’s voice was low and threaded with pain. “But I have to do it. I have to give the child what she wants so that she’ll go away and stop the torment.”

  “Bonnie,” Eve said between set teeth. “I’ve told you—” It didn’t matter what he called her. Why argue with him? “You’ve told me yourself that John is probably right behind us. What will you do when he catches up? You may have to kill him to keep the demons away.”

  “No, I won’t do that. He won’t catch up. We’re almost there.”

  She jumped at the sentence. “Where?”

  “Providence.” His lips twisted. “Did you think you were tricking me? It doesn’t matter if you know. Not now.” He turned and started up the trail. “Come along, Eve. By this time tomorrow it will be over.”

  Providence. The only Providence she knew was in Rhode Island. Was it a real place they were going or a figment of Danner’s imagination? Or was it a term he was using to describe the situation? The last few minutes should have taught her how unstable he could be. Providence. Truth or fantasy, it was the only clue, the only weapon she had.

  If she could find a way of using it.

  * * *

  “WHERE ON EARTH IS HE taking us?” Father Barnabas gazed at Ben, who was climbing the hill several yards ahead of them. “It seems as if we’ve been going around in circles for the last few hours.”

  “We have,” Joe said. “We passed that triangular rock twice.”

  The priest shook his head. “Then the boy doesn’t really know where he’s going. Why didn’t you give up and stop him?”

  “Because there’s a chance he does know. There was no uncertainty about what he was doing. He took every turn with perfect confidence. I believe there’s a possibility that Danner took this route when he led Ben to his place.” His gaze was fastened on Ben’s back. “He liked the boy, but he wouldn’t entirely trust him. He’d be afraid he could be fooled or manipulated. So he took him on a route that would make anyone with him think he didn’t know where he was going and give up on him.”

  “Interesting theory. But how long do we consider it a valid premise?”

  “As long as we can. Look at him. He thinks that he knows where he’s going. I’d bet he subconsciously counted every twist and turn that Danner made and is repeating them.” His lips twisted. “Have a little faith, Father.”

  “That was unfair. I have faith. But perhaps I’m like Danner and not sure how the boy’s mind works. You seem to be a step ahead of us.”

  “I’m guessing.” He only hoped that he was guessing right. Why was he so certain that Ben was the key to finding Eve? Just because that smile reminded him of the sketch of Bonnie? Because he seemed to shine when everything around Joe was in darkness? He should be thinking analytically, not relying on instinct.

  Screw it. Instinct was all he had right now.

  “It’s just ahead.” Ben was looking over his shoulder at him. “I’m glad we got here before dark. The ground is rough for the last stretch. I fell twice when Ted was leading me up here.” He didn’t wait for an answer, but lengthened his stride and disappeared around the curve.

  Yes.

  The way to the top of the hill was as treacherous as Ben had said. Slippery shale alternating with sandy ground that gave away from beneath their feet. Joe had to stop twice to pull Father Barnabas back on the trail when the shale had thrown him into a skid. The last yards, which should have taken a few minutes, stretched into almost twenty.

  The sun was going down in a blaze of scarlet when they reached the top of the summit.

  Ben was looking out at the hills and ridges surrounding them. “Beautiful.” The sun was bathing his face with a soft glow. “Isn’t it beautiful? Ted couldn’t see it. I don’t know why. I tried to tell him how it made me feel. But Ted said it was a trap, and demons lurked everywhere.”

  “Did you believe him?” Joe asked quietly.

  “The first night he brought me here. It scared me. But then I found out that he was wrong.”

  “How did you do that?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just woke up in the morning and looked out at the ridge and knew there was nothing bad out there.”

  “The ridge?”

  Ben pointed to the ridge to the far north. “I think that’s where Ted went when he left me. He said I had to stay here and not follow him, or the demons would get me.”

  A surge of excitement electrified Joe. He went to the edge of the cliff and looked out at the ridge. Screw the demons. I’ve got you, Danner. “He was only gone one night?”

  “The first night. After that, sometimes only four or five hours.”

  What the hell was Danner doing beyond that ridge?

  He’d find out.

  “Wait until dawn.” Father Barnabas was standing beside him. “You’ll break your neck on this hill in the dark. You have time. Ted Danner isn’t there yet.”

  “And he won’t come up this way. I’d bet he only brought Ben up here so that he could put a barrier to keep him from following him.” His gaze went back to the ridge, which appeared to ramble for miles. “It’s damn long. What the hell is on the other side?”

  “The place,” Ben said. “But no demons. I promise you, no demons.”

  “I’m not sure about that.”

  “I am.”

  “I’ll check my GPS and try to see what’s beyond that ridge. It’ll give me an idea of the topography.” He smiled faintly. “But I doubt if it has the capacity to identify demons.”

  “You’re teasing me. That’s okay. I don’t mind.” Ben was gathering branches from the trees on the slopes leading to the hill. “I’ll build a fire. It gets cold at night in the hills.”

  Joe smiled. “But Father Barnabas has his sleeping bag.”

  “We can flip for it,” the priest offered.

  Ben shook his head. “I like to sleep on the ground. It helps me be closer.”

  “Closer to what?” Joe asked.

  Ben didn’t answer directly. “Just closer.” He was kneeling and making the fire. “I like it here. It’s kind of peaceful.”

  Joe wasn’t feeling at all peaceful. He could feel the blood zinging through his body, and his heart was pounding. At last he was on the way to getting a handle on this nightmare. Should he try to go explore that ridge? He didn’t have any doubt he could make it, but Father Barnabas was right about the smart course being to wait for daylight. He’d be going at it blind, and he didn’t know what the hell he was looking for. He might do it anyway. He didn’t know if he could be patient enough to wait.

  “No, Joe.” The priest was gazing at him. “Think about it first.”

  Joe nodded curtly. “I’ll call Catherine and Gallo and tell them where we are and see if we can get any idea about where Danner is now. If he’s anywhere near, then I’m going.” He turned and went toward the fire. “I need some light to get our position on the GPS and Google that damn ridge. I think Ben brought a pan, instant coffee, and some bottled water if you want to fix a hot drink. It’s already getting cool.”

  “Later.” Father Barnabas was looking out at the ridge, which was only a purple-shaded blur in the falling darkness. “Ben is right, there is peace here. I think I’ll go over there in the trees by myself. I’ll see you soon.”

  Maybe he was going to meditate or pray or whatever priests did in cases like this, Joe thought. Though a case like this wasn’t that common. Or perhaps he was planning what his next move would be in order to find Danner befor
e Joe did.

  “You watch him.” Ben was sitting back on his heels, his head tilted as he stared at Joe. “He makes you worry. Why?”

  Joe shrugged. “He’s a puzzle. He may not be what he seems to be.”

  Ben’s gaze went to the priest. “But why should that worry you? It’s all good.”

  “Is it? How do you know?”

  “Can’t you see? He kind of shines inside. Like you, Joe.”

  “Me?” He shook his head. “Not likely, Ben.”

  “Not exactly the same. He’s deeper, softer. But he does shine, Joe.” He smiled brilliantly. “And he only wants to help. You don’t have to worry.”

  What would Ben know? He thought even Danner was good. How could Joe believe him?

  Yet he did believe him. Looking at the boy’s face, he believed every word he’d spoken. Crazy.

  No, it wasn’t crazy. That beautiful clear simplicity wasn’t to be denied. Dammit, he suddenly knew he didn’t want to deny it. Maybe the kid could sense or see something that Joe couldn’t. “Well, I can’t see the shine from this distance, so I guess I’ll have to go and get a little closer look at him. I’ll be right back.” He turned and strode toward the trees where the priest was sitting.

  “A problem?” Father Barnabas asked as he looked up and saw Joe’s frown. “May I help?”

  “Yes.” Joe stopped in front of him. “You can stop being a damn martyr and shrug off all those good intentions and vows of confidentiality that you took as a priest and as your alter ego the great psychiatrist. I’m tired of wondering if you’re going to try to push me under a bus. I want to go after Danner with a clear head.”

  The priest’s brows rose. “What brought this on?”

  “Ben says you shine. I don’t have his vision. I’m just a cop who’s grounded in reality. I want to see if you’re the real thing or fool’s gold.”

  “I have my fool’s-gold moments. Don’t we all?”

  “Yeah, but I think that Ben would be able to weigh that in and come up with the right answer.”

  “You seem to have a good deal of faith in Ben.”

  “I have to have faith in something or someone right now. I need it.”

  Father Barnabas smiled. “So do I. That’s why I took a moment to myself.”