Bonnie

by Iris Johansen

  Joe slipped his arm around her waist. “We’ll go to the ranger station and get a ride to the hospital. We’d better tell Catherine what we’re doing.” He turned to Catherine, who was several yards behind him. “Catherine, we need to go to the hospital. Do you want to—”

  “I’ll stay with Gallo.” Catherine’s gaze was fixed on Gallo, kneeling beside Danner. “Do what you have to do.” She started toward him. “I’ll be in touch later.”

  Then she stopped and turned to Eve.

  Eve stiffened with surprise. Catherine’s golden skin was paler, her eyes wide with shock. Eve had never seen her so discomposed. “Are you okay?”

  Catherine nodded jerkily. “As good as I can be. I just wanted to say that I—” She muttered a curse and whirled back again and started toward Gallo. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I thought you were all a little crazy. I didn’t believe you. Hell, maybe I’m crazy, too.”

  Eve froze, her gaze on Catherine, who had reached Gallo and was standing beside him.

  “She saw her, Joe,” she whispered. “She saw Bonnie.”

  “And it scared the hell out of her.” Joe pulled Eve toward the trail. “I can sympathize. I remember the first time I saw Bonnie. But she’ll have to deal with it herself. You can’t do it for her.”

  He was right. Perhaps later she could comfort, help Catherine, but now she was too exhausted and emotionally spent to do anything but try to get through the hours ahead.

  But why had Catherine been able to see Bonnie when only those who were close to her daughter had ever been able to see her?

  Don’t ask. Just accept.

  Bonnie’s choice.

  * * *

  BEN WAS IN SURGERY WHEN Eve and Joe reached the hospital. But Father Barnabas was in the waiting room and had spoken to the doctors.

  “It’s critical,” the priest said. “But the doctors say he has a chance. The nurse just came by to tell me they’re finishing up now.”

  “You know that Danner is dead?” Joe asked. “The police told you?”

  “No. Ben told me.”

  “What?”

  “Right before he went into surgery. He said that Ted wasn’t here anymore, but that it was okay.” He turned to Eve. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded. “Ben told you?” It shouldn’t have surprised her. Just the few minutes she’d spent with him had revealed his connection with Bonnie.

  “I promised I’d try to keep from killing Danner,” Joe said. “He came along to try to protect him.”

  “And he knows you did try,” the priest said. “And I don’t think that the reason he came along was to protect Danner. Maybe that was his initial reason, but it changed. He was sticking closer to you than glue.”

  “He was protecting Joe?” Eve nodded slowly. “Maybe you’re right.”

  “I’m right.” Father Barnabas smiled. “And here’s something else that I’m going to be right about. The doctors weren’t sure that Ben would survive this surgery, but he was sure. He told me that she said that it wasn’t his time.” He tilted his head. “And I wondered … a saintly visitation? Or the little girl Ted Danner was so obsessed with?”

  “Bonnie,” Eve said.

  “Bonnie,” the priest repeated. “He was so afraid of her. I wanted to be with Ted, to talk to him one more time, to give him comfort. He was in such torment.”

  “Yes.” She met his eyes. “But not in the end. And he wasn’t afraid of Bonnie any longer.”

  “A miracle?”

  Perhaps not the way the priest meant it. But since the day of her birth, Bonnie had been so very special, a wonderful, magical gift. It was no wonder that she had been able to give that grace to everyone around her. “Yes, a miracle, Father.”

  * * *

  “YOU LOOK LIKE A SURGEON.” Catherine’s gaze ran up and down Eve’s loose blue-green tunic and pants when she came into the waiting room two hours later. “Have you changed professions?”

  “I borrowed the clothes from one of the nurses on the floor. I took a shower, but my clothes were practically falling into shreds after those days in the woods. Joe wanted to stay here until they let him see Ben, and I wanted to be with him.”

  Catherine looked down at herself. “I’m not much better than you, but I’ll wait until I can get to a motel. I’ll pick up some clothes for you and drop them off here. How is the boy?”

  “He’ll live. The doctors said it was touch-and-go.” She smiled. “Ben said that there would be no problem. He had it on the best of authority.”

  Catherine looked away. “I’ve been thinking it over and what I thought I saw could have been a hallucination induced by stress.”

  “It could be.”

  “That would be the most comfortable explanation.” She looked back at Eve. “I’ve never gone for the safe or comfortable. It’s not my nature.” She smiled recklessly. “I tend to dive into the volcano and hope that the rope around my waist holds.”

  “And are you diving into my volcano, Catherine?”

  “Yes. I saw a little girl in a Bugs Bunny T-shirt kneeling by Danner. She was … incredible.”

  Eve nodded. “More than you’ll ever know.”

  “I hope that’s true. I don’t want to know or see more than I did today.”

  “And you may not. I don’t know why you saw my daughter. I assumed that she appeared only to those to whom she was close. Maybe this is a rare instance and won’t be repeated.”

  Catherine shrugged. “And if it’s not, I’ll deal with it. Though I hope we won’t become chums. It might be distracting.”

  Eve smiled. “She won’t get in your way, Catherine.”

  Catherine smiled. “I know she won’t. I’m sure she’s totally independent. She has to be her mother’s daughter.”

  Eve’s smile faded. “And her father’s. How is Gallo?”

  “How do you think? Not good. He’s taking his uncle home to Wisconsin and burying him in the woods on his property.”

  “Are you going with him?”

  She shook her head. “I wasn’t invited, and I don’t know if I would have gone if I had been. This is between the two of them, and there were times when I wasn’t at all sympathetic. I was on your side, not his. I wasn’t sure until we were with Danner that he’d be able to keep his priorities straight. We have a lot of … issues.”

  And some of those issues were fiery and emotional, Eve thought. It might be just as well that Catherine was keeping distance between them.

  “Stop frowning.” Catherine was studying her expression. “Be happy, dammit. You deserve it.”

  “So do you. Where are you going?”

  “Home to Luke for a while. Then I promised Venable I’d do a job in Peru. A very short job. I’ll stop by your place at the lake on my way.” She started to turn away, then said, “Bonnie. You’re taking her home?”

  She nodded. “I’m going to ask Father Barnabas to do the service.”

  “I want to be there.”

  Eve nodded. “I’ll let you know. If you’re not in South America.”

  “Screw South America. I’ll be there.” She moved down the corridor toward the elevators.

  * * *

  “YOU LOOK TIRED,” BEN SAID. “Maybe you should go to bed.”

  Joe’s gaze flew to the boy’s face. Ben’s eyes were open, and he seemed clear and coherent. Amazing, considering that they’d loaded him with sedatives and antibiotics.

  “I’m fine.” He made a face. “I was just thinking that I hated hospitals. I just got out of one myself.” He smiled. “And you’re the one who should be tired. You went through a couple hours of surgery to put you back together. How do you feel?”

  Ben thought about it. “Sore. A little dizzy. But better than when I fell down the steps when I was trying to help Mrs. Smythe.”

  “That’s good. I think.” He paused. “Ted Danner is dead. I couldn’t stop it, Ben.”

  Ben nodded. “She said it was going to happen, that it was his time, but that it wouldn’t be bad for
him. She was worried about you.”

  “So you decided to trail along and help?”

  “She was worried,” he repeated. “I don’t like Bonnie to worry. It makes me worry.”

  “So you took a bullet for me.”

  “Ted didn’t mean it. He must have been … excited. Sometimes he got upset.”

  “That was pretty obvious.”

  “You’re still mad at him. But he didn’t hurt Eve.”

  There was no use arguing with the boy. What difference did it make? Ben’s loyalty might have been misplaced, but the quality itself was admirable. There had probably not been that many people in his life who had shown him the kindness Danner had. “No, Eve is fine.”

  “That’s good.” Ben’s lids were beginning to close. “I’m going to go to sleep now.”

  “You do that.” He paused. “I was wondering when you got out of here what you planned to do.”

  “Go back to the camp.”

  “You like it there?”

  He smiled. “Yes. I told you, I’m good at what I do.”

  “I was wondering if you’d like to come and work for me. We could work something out.”

  Ben’s eyes opened. “Why?”

  Joe shrugged. “I have a place on a lake. There’s always work to do.”

  Ben stared at him for a long moment. “You need me?” He shook his head. “You don’t need me. You feel bad and want to give me something. A job is like a present sometimes.”

  “And sometimes it starts out as a gift and becomes something else entirely. As I said, we could work it out. Think about it.”

  “Maybe.” Ben closed his eyes. “But I shouldn’t do it just because I’d like to do it. That would be wrong.… You’d have to need me.…”

  He was asleep again.

  Joe leaned back in the chair. He shouldn’t have assumed it would be easy to get Ben to take a job where Joe could keep an eye on him. Ben was a mixture of simplicity and sudden flashes of sharpness that came out of nowhere.

  He should probably just allow the boy to go back to the job he liked and forget about taking him under his wing. The camp was a safe environment, and Joe usually wasn’t this protective.

  Hell, no. He’d worry about Ben.

  That was what Ben had said about Bonnie, he remembered suddenly. She would worry.…

  A connection?

  He couldn’t rule it out. All connections seemed to be centered around Bonnie.

  But it didn’t change anything. Joe still wanted Ben where he could watch over him.

  And that meant he had to sit here and think of a way to create a position for Ben that would convince him that he would be totally indispensable.

  Providence Canyon

  THE SUN WAS GOING DOWN as Eve took the last turn up the canyon ridge.

  “I’m on my way, Bonnie.”

  “I know you are, Mama. I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “Then you should have come to me.”

  “I wanted you here. I wanted to show you the sun setting over my valley.”

  “Your valley?”

  “It’s my valley, my canyon. Ted Danner gave it to me, and I made it mine. I share it with all the animals and the wind and the trees.…”

  “Joe said that Ben told him that you liked it here, the trees, the deer.… I was so afraid that you’d be somewhere.…” She stopped. “I worried.”

  “I know. But that would have been only a place, too, and you can turn it into whatever you want it to be.”

  “You didn’t tell me that, dammit.”

  “I didn’t know. I’m learning all the time.” She paused. “But so are you, Mama.”

  “Am I? I don’t feel as if I am.”

  “That’s because you haven’t been able to think of anyone but me. That will be different now. So many things will be different.”

  “No, I’ll always love you, think about you.”

  “It will be different.”

  Eve turned down the dark passage, and a moment later rolled back the large boulder.

  “I wanted Joe to come with me, but he said that I should come here alone. He’s been staying at the hospital with Ben. He’s a very sweet boy, Bonnie. Joe and he are getting along famously.”

  “Ben is beginning to love Joe. Loving is easy for Ben.”

  “Like you, baby. You were always—” She inhaled sharply as she stepped into the garden.

  The garden was bathed in the gold and scarlet haze of the setting sun. The vines cast purple shadows that formed exotic patterns on the ground. It was both intimate and spectacular. And the sun sinking below the horizon was breathtaking.

  “I told you that it was wonderful. No, don’t look over at that grave. I’m over here, Mama.”

  Bonnie was sitting in the corner, leaning against a boulder at the edge of the cliff. The rays of the setting sun were turning her curls to fire red. She gestured out at the valley. “See, Mama.”

  “I see.”

  “Come and sit by me.”

  Eve sat down a few feet away, where she could still look at Bonnie. To hell with scenery that she could see anytime. She was never sure when Bonnie would be gone.

  “But I always come back. This way I don’t interfere with you.”

  “Ask me if I’d care.”

  “I’d care. Every moment of the first step is precious.”

  “You didn’t have many of those moments.”

  “It’s not always the same. It was my time. I don’t know why, I only know it was time for me to go on.” She leaned her head back against the boulder and looked out at the valley. “Maybe I had more to learn here than there.”

  “You seem to be doing pretty well.”

  “At first, it seemed as if I was wandering around in a kind of haze. It was beautiful, but I didn’t know what to do. Then it all came together. But you were hurting and Ted Danner was hurting. I had to wait until it was finished.”

  “And is it finished?”

  Bonnie’s radiant smile lit her small face. “Yes, can’t you feel it, Mama? No pain, no bitterness. All that’s left is the love.”

  “Yes, I can feel it,” she said unsteadily. Freedom. None of the shackles of pain and horror and sadness that had bound her all these years. “Love.”

  They sat in silence, watching the twilight turn to darkness.

  “I want to take you home, baby,” Eve finally said a long time later. “Is that all right with you?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’ve always told you that, Mama. I’m not there anymore.”

  “Ben told Joe that you liked it here in the canyon.”

  She chuckled. “And you didn’t want to disturb me? There’s beauty everywhere. You only have to look for it.”

  Eve was silent, then asked the question that she’d been avoiding. “If it’s finished … am I going to … lose you, baby?”

  “Oh, no, Mama.” She added quietly, “But it means you can let me go now.”

  “I most certainly cannot. Don’t even think about it.”

  “I won’t. It will just come.”

  “I’ll still see you?” she asked quickly.

  “Sometimes. But you’ll always know I’m with you.”

  “That’s not good enough. I want it all.”

  “And that’s what I want for you,” she said gently. “So let me go, Mama. Please.”

  Another silence. “It’s going to be hard.”

  “But you’re tough enough to do it. You’re tough enough to do anything.”

  “Maybe not this.”

  “Mama.”

  “We’ll see how it goes.”

  Bonnie threw back her head and laughed. “I do love you, Mama. There’s no one in the world like you.”

  “And there’s no one in my world like you, Bonnie.”

  “I’ll argue with you later. It’s just good sitting here with you tonight.” She lifted her head to the night sky. “Do you remember that last night when we sat on the porch and looked up at the stars? They seemed so close. You asked me
if I wanted to be an astronaut and go from planet to planet.”

  “You didn’t get the chance.”

  Bonnie turned to her and smiled. “How do you know?” She didn’t wait for an answer but looked back at the stars. “They’re close tonight, too. I can see Venus. This is nice, isn’t it, Mama?”

  “Yes, Bonnie. Very, very nice…”

  Nice was not the word. The stars were brilliant and the night seemed to enclose them in velvet darkness. Eve was surrounded by memories of the past and the sweetness of the present.

  It was enough.

  More than enough.

  Tomorrow could take care of itself.

  ALSO BY IRIS JOHANSEN

  Quinn

  Eve

  Chasing the Night

  Shadow Zone (with Roy Johansen)

  Eight Days to Live

  Deadlock

  Dark Summer

  Quicksand

  Silent Thunder (with Roy Johansen)

  Pandora’s Daughter

  Stalemate

  An Unexpected Song

  Killer Dreams

  On the Run

  Countdown

  Blind Alley

  Firestorm

  Fatal Tide

  Dead Aim

  No One to Trust

  Body of Lies

  Final Target

  The Search

  The Killing Game

  The Face of Deception

  And Then You Die

  Long After Midnight

  The Ugly Duckling

  Lion’s Bride

  Dark Rider

  Midnight Warrior

  The Beloved Scoundrel

  The Magnificent Rogue

  The Tiger Prince

  Last Bridge Home

  The Golden Barbarian

  Reap the Wind

  Storm Winds

  Wind Dancer

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Iris Johansen is the New York Times bestselling author of Eve, Quinn, Chasing the Night, Eight Days to Live, Blood Game, Deadlock, Dark Summer, Pandora’s Daughter, Quicksand, Killer Dreams, On the Run, Countdown, Firestorm, Fatal Tide, Dead Aim, No One to Trust, and more.

  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.