Shattered

by Stef M Ensing

  Suddenly his hand snaked out and wrapped around her wrist, pulling it forward. He took a bite out of her apple. She gasped mockingly. “That was my apple.”

  Jarrett smirked and took another bite, never breaking eye-contact with her.

  That was when the moment was ruined by the sound of clinking armor like someone had scraped plate against the wood planks of a crate. It would have been innocuous enough only it came from behind them in the back corner and darkest part of the hold. Alarmed she and Jarrett both exchanged a look. They had both heard it. Her eyes darted in the direction of the sound, hoping he would get the message. Without a word, he began to descend the crate.

  “I’m going to see what else is in these crates up here,” she said as casually as possible.

  He was on the ground, soundless and lifting his sword back onto his belt. Maneuvering around the crate of apples she worked her way along, aimlessly rambling nonsense to fill the air and try to make it seem like nothing had changed.

  “…I count six more but then that’s the last of them up here. We can start hauling them down.”

  She could see two shapes in the darkness. Payton made a small motion to Jarrett and then slowly pulled a tiny dagger from her boot. Her only weapon but it would have to do. The element of surprise was all she had now.

  In tandem they attacked. Jarrett charged, circling the crates and racing toward the figures just as she took a flying leap down, tackling one of them to the ground. She and the stranger hit the wood floor with a thud, knocking the wind out of the person. Throwing herself into a summersault, she pushed their weapon – a staff – out of reach before rolling to her feet in a single swift movement.

  The second figure had moved, a grunting objection cut off by Jarret who had swept forward and slammed him into the back wall, using his sword as a brutalizing force despite his lack of a shield. The blade was pressed to a throat and Payton was pointing her tiny dagger at the first one.

  Only to realize she recognized the two figures. One well-built and in plate armor and the other tall and lanky, with a newly purchased staff holding violet gem near the top.

  “Sam?! Isiah?!”

  Bitter green eyes she recognized shot to her. “Call your guardsman off!” Isiah snapped.

  Jarrett let out a sound that was near a snarl, the sword inching closer to her twin’s throat.

  She made a face, dropping her dagger down and clenching it tightly. “Don’t call him that.” It made him sound like he was her pet or slave. She could hardly blame Jarrett for being upset.

  Isiah shoved at Jarrett but the man remained immobile with a spark of amusement appearing in his eyes as though mocking Isiah for his attempt to remove him.

  “What the hell are you both doing here?” she demanded.

  “Get off of me!” Isiah growled.

  Her mind raced. This wasn’t happening, her brothers did not stow away on the ship. Her brothers had not come with them!

  “How could you do this? What were you thinking?”

  “We’ve come to protect our parts of the investment,” Samuel said unconvincingly.

  “Did you practice that line?” Jarrett asked with a raised brow as he released Isiah and took a step back.

  “We have just as much right to be here as she does,” Isiah said sourly.

  “Except I told you to stay with father,” Payton said darkly. Why did her brothers have to be so stupid? Why couldn’t they understand that she was doing this for the good of the family? For their own good?

  “You’re not the boss of us,” Isiah said petulantly.

  Payton stared at the two of them, her mind racing. Part of her wanted to storm up to the captain and demand he turn them around this second so she could drop the two idiots who called themselves her brothers back at Imeryn but she knew she couldn’t. They were already four days into the trip and turning back would cost them too much.

  “How can you do this? Don’t you understand anything?” she asked quietly.

  “How could you do this to us? It is our right to come. You never should have tried to stop us,” Isiah shot back.

  “Payton, we know that you were just trying to protect us but we can take care of ourselves. And you while we’re at it,” Samuel tried to reason with her.

  “Just… go. You explain to Nyla and the Captain why we’re going to be rationing the food to feed two extra mouths just because of your selfishness.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” Samuel objected.

  She didn’t respond, just pointed toward the exit. They scowled almost in unison, taking their packs and weapons before brushing by her and out of the hold.

  She could tell herself it wasn’t going to happen this time, she wasn’t going to lose another family member but Isiah’s words still haunted her. She was leaving a trail of bodies in her wake. Her mother. Her Onyx member teammates. Would her brothers now be added to that list?

  She was trembling, fighting back tears, nightmares, fears, everything that haunted her and would never leave her be. But there was nothing she could do to change what her brothers had done. So all she could do was keep moving on.

  “Let’s get back to work,” she said numbly.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  She had been irritable since the discovery of her brothers’ presence. Nothing could calm her down. Payton knew that it wasn’t her friends’ fault and yet she could not help the way she snapped at nearly everything they said to her over the next day and a half. She did her best to avoid her brothers, which was stupidly hard to do. Given that they had hidden for near four days why was it now she was bumping into them everywhere?! Three times she had gotten into shouting matches with Isiah that had to be broken apart by Jarrett or Atherly, her friends reduced to playing mediators if only to keep the Captain from wanting to throw them all overboard. But now they had landed on the ice cap that extended out miles from Calaphine’s shores and that threat was hollow.

  It took them a few hours to disembark, loading everything they needed upon a few carts, hitching the yaks that Payton did not want to know how Nyla found nevermind purchased, and then beginning the trek. Thankfully, Nyla handed the map – or the copy of it – over to the captain to allow him to navigate the icy terrain and take them to Kydessa.

  There was nothing but white around them, ice creating jagged formations along the path. It was a picture of the cold cataclysm that had spread throughout the world and was continuing to inch its way along, claiming more sea and more land with each passing year. The wind was strong and nipped through the layers of wool, fur, and armor they all wore. The frigid cold gave them little desire for conversation but gave her plenty of time to continue to brood.

  She wished that her brothers understood. That Isiah’s petulance would disappear and he would finally understand why she had done what she did. That Samuel would stop giving her those looks of betrayal that dissolved into frustration while the three of them argued. She just wanted them to understand. It wouldn’t change anything, not really. They would still be coming, still, be risking their lives and be that much closer to death but she would get that sense of satisfaction. A sense of triumph that they finally understood the stupidity of their actions. Understood what their actions did to their father and to her.

  Given the overcast skies, the night was a much bigger threat, the shadows of it creeping in all around them creating an inky blackness that engulfed them. Stopping for the night had them all relieved, numb to the bone and anxious to huddle next to a fire. Setting up camp took longer than it should have, their shaking hands and frozen fingers making it far more difficult to work. Finally, they managed it. A fire that hissed and flickered madly in the wind, the five tents making a circle around the pit they had cleared.

  It was as Payton was helping unload the pot so they could heat up something for a meal that her brothers approached her. Again.

  “Not. Now,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “You can’t keep avoiding us,” Isiah grumbled moodily.

 
“Watch me.”

  “You’ve got to forgive us some time,” Samuel tried.

  “When we’re back in Imeryn. Then I’ll forgive you.”

  “Seriously?!” snapped Isiah in disbelief.

  She narrowed her eyes at them. “When you both are back in Simmons’ house alive and your ears are turning red from dad’s shouting, then I’ll forgive you for sneaking on this trip. Not one second before.”

  “You’re impossible,” Isiah huffed.

  “And you never should have come.”

  “You need us!” Samuel argued.

  “I needed you to stay home! Stay safe!”

  “You need the extra fighters,” he tried.

  “I have the fighters covered just fine!” She dropped the heavy pot on the ground where it sank in the ankle-deep snow. She looked at them bitterly. “You two have the gall to accuse me of being selfish. Of taking the money for this trip and running off for glory, of excluding you for honor and a larger cut of the riches, when you know all of that is garbage. And yet here you two are, risking your lives because your pride was hurt. Because you’re both too stupid to realize I was doing you a favor.”

  “A favor by leaving us behind? We aren’t children, Payton. We don’t need you to watch over us. We can take care of ourselves,” Isiah snapped.

  “So you’ve said.”

  “You realize that without our help you couldn’t have raised the money to begin with. We have just as much right to be here as you.”

  “So you’ve said,” she repeated.

  Isiah threw his hands up in the air. “There’s no speaking to you! We should have just let you go on your own. Stayed with dad to assuage his concern like good little sons. Sent you here alone because you know that no one would give a damn if you didn’t come back.”

  Payton flinched at his words. At the fear, he had just put to voice.

  “Isiah, that isn’t fair or true,” Samuel countered. Her twin huffed and looked away, stubbornly refusing to say anything. “Payton, why won’t you admit that you need us? Come on. Think of it: the three Clark siblings tackling the frost wastelands of the south. Nothing can stop us.”

  Only death. Payton closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “What do you want me to say? I will never congratulate you on going against my wishes and sneaking on board. I will never say that this is a good thing. You are risking everything and neither of you even seem to care. But sure,” she gave him a tight smile, “let’s think of this as nothing more than a grand adventure for us to tackle. Just a story to be told at some later date where you’re the dashing heroes riding in to rescue your foolish sister who obviously had no idea what she was doing when she left you behind. Let us be the Clark siblings and not think of the consequences because consequences don’t touch heroes. Right?”

  The two of them stared at her for several moments, Samuel opening and closing his mouth as though he was trying to form a response but failing and Isiah staring hard at her, trying to get a read.

  But she didn’t care.

  She picked up the pot and turned on her heel, walking into the camp. Dropping it down by the fire, she kept walking, ignoring the confused looks she got. Ignoring the concern on those faces around her. And most of all trying to ignore the fear that had settled in the pit of her stomach that was refusing to leave her be.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  “I come in peace,” a voice behind her said as it approached.

  Payton tore her gaze away from the blackness that stretched before her, her legs dangling over the edge of a crack in the ice they had made camp on. She saw Atherly approaching and scowled. She didn’t want to deal with him right now. She didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. Facing the dark again, she wondered if she ignored him if he would get the hint and go away. The thought almost made her laugh. As if Atherly could ever get a hint. Subtlety was lost on that blond. He usually had to be hit over the head with a concept to get him to shut up. Repeatedly.

  “You missed dinner.”

  “I wasn’t hungry,” she said tersely.

  “I doubt that.” He wiggled something beside her.

  At first, she dutifully ignored it but he kept it hovering there until she huffed and looked. It was a crust of bread. Her eyes flickered to his smug face and then back. Without a word, she yanked it from his hand and then turned back to the howl of wind and white amid shadow in front of her. He had the audacity to laugh. Bastard.

  “They were only trying to help,” he said after several long moments of silence and her ripping chunks out of the bread to nibble on.

  She scowled at him. “You’re taking their side?!”

  “I don’t see why there has to be sides in this.”

  “They snuck on board! They were stowaways! If they weren’t my brothers the captain probably would have had them keelhauled or thrown overboard or stabbed.”

  “Oh you’re just being dramatic,” Atherly said dismissively. “What is keelhauled anyway?”

  “They tie a rope to you and toss you off either the bow or the stern while the ship is moving so you’re dragged through the water. You know, under the keel of the ship,” she informed.

  Atherly distinctly paled. “I’m going to sidestep asking how you know this.”

  “Talking to people without trying to get them out of their clothes does wonders,” she said snarkily.

  “Yes, you learn handy ways to murder people.”

  “They don’t always die.”

  “You know, you’re very morbid and creepifying when you’re in a tizzy.”

  Payton shot him another glare. “Don’t say it like that.”

  “Say it like what? Say things like I’ve never heard you so casually discuss death or torture before and it’s weirding me out and making me nervous about your plans if I act naughty? Or point out that you’ve been angrier than a minotaur who lost its maze?”

  “Do you plan on acting inappropriately?”

  “Of course. I always aim to misbehave.”

  Rolling her eyes, she munched on another piece of bread. “And it was the second one,” she said after a moment. “I’m not… in a tizzy or a minotaur or whatever other colorful thing you have thought up to compare me to.”

  “Oh I’ve got dozens,” he said lightly.

  “I will hurt you.”

  “My safe word is “apples”.”

  Payton groaned. “Can’t you just go away?”

  “Nope, you’re stuck with me.”

  “Fuck,” she muttered.

  “I can do that too if you like.”

  She glared at him again and he just smiled at her. That annoying bright and flirtatious grin that he always seemed to have ready.

  “You know you can give your brothers a break.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “They mean well.”

  “Are you their messenger now? Their herald?” she mocked.

  “Well, seeing as you can’t see them without yelling… sure. Why not?”

  “So you want me to see you and yell at you now?”

  “Wait, that wasn’t part of the deal.”

  “It is if you’re trying to convince me that my brothers being here isn’t a bad thing.”

  “It isn’t.”

  “See, this is where we’ll have the problem. I’ll start shouting. You’ll get sad and pouty. I’ll just want to hit you and you’ll just try to flirt your way out of an argument you started because you want to convince me that this isn’t a mess. Either way, you lose. So do yourself a favor, shut up and walk away before either of those things happen.”

  Atherly frowned and was actually quiet for several minutes. But, of course, it was not to last. “Why are you so against them being here? I’ve seen the three of you fight together when you were Wyverns. You are amazing. You have fluidity and instinctual tandem in your attacks that most people don’t get even after a lifetime of working with their partner. Going to a place like this… that sort of fighting would be a boon.”

  “
Yes, a boon,” she said darkly. “A boon to watch as my brothers get cut down by monsters. A boon to see my family die in front of me again. A boon to return back to Imeryn without them by my side and face my father who still can barely look at me since I failed to save my mother. But yes, let’s focus on the boon it will be for fighting.”

  “Payton…” Atherly said softly.

  She flinched. “They were supposed to stay back. They were supposed to stay safe. It’s bad enough I dragged Jarrett into this. Bad enough that you and Nyla are here. There are too many people, too many lives to watch. I can’t add them to the list. I can’t lose them too.”

  “Payton, you haven’t lost any of us.”

  “But I could. And I can’t live with myself if I lost them. It will be hard enough if any one of you die but if one of my brothers… I couldn’t face it.” Her voice wavered, cracking in the middle.

  “You know it’s not your responsibility to save everyone,” Atherly said mildly.

  She exhaled, staring at him as if he had lost his mind. He didn’t understand. None of them understood. “What do you know? You float through life fixing things with a flick of your finger. Do you even understand that somethings can’t be fixed with a flirty smile and a brush of your hand? Some wounds can never be healed.”

  “Payton…”

  “Just shut up! You never take anything seriously. It’s like you live your life too drunk on your own self-worth to bother with anyone else,” she snapped. “When was the last time you cared about anything? Anyone?”

  Atherly’s smiles and light-hearted air had vanished. “When I met you,” he said simply.

  “What?” she said alarmed. There was no joke, no flirtation, just a straight statement of fact. It unnerved her.

  “You asked when the last time I cared about anyone was. I met Nyla and Takara well before you so the most recent person who wormed their way into my life is you.” He nudged her with a smile that didn’t seem quite right. “And I care about you.”

  “R-right.” She was getting exceedingly uncomfortable, feeling as though there was something that he wasn’t saying, something he was hinting at that she did not want to hear. “My point… my point is, is that you help and protect the people you care about. You don’t just abandon them to their fate.”