Imperfect Saint

by Jess Bryant

  “Hey, I thought you were working late?” She called out as she flipped the heat on the stove down, “I was hoping to surprise you with dinner but it’s not quite…”

  Millie turned to face the doorway that led from the front hall and stopped short. Her words caught in her throat and her entire body turned to ice. A shiver of fear raced down her spine and dread pooled in her belly as her brain caught up with what her body instinctively knew.

  It wasn’t Hunter standing in the doorway. It was Joshua. It was Joshua and he was holding a gun in his right hand.

  She blinked and her entire life, all of the years and her history with this man flashed before her eyes. All the bad, all the pain, and anger and anguish, but also all of the good times, the smiles and laughter and stolen kisses that had been her first taste of sweetness. When she looked at him again, she knew that he hadn’t just come to threaten her this time. He hadn’t come to berate her or hit her. He’d come to kill her because, just as she’d blamed him for all the bad in her life, he blamed her too.

  Millie swallowed hard, the lump in her throat growing by the second, “Joshua, you don’t have to do this. Whatever you’re thinking, whatever made you come here, you don’t have to do this.”

  “Shut. Up.” He growled through clenched teeth, eyes flashing with a hatred she knew all too well despite the fact he looked nothing like the man she’d known all her life.

  In the six weeks since she’d seen him at the wedding, he’d become nearly unrecognizable.

  His eyes were red and bloodshot, the dark circles beneath looked like bruises they were so pronounced. She’d never seen him anything but clean-shaven, yet a scraggly beard covered his jaw now and his hair was longer, disheveled and messy. His clothes, which he’d always taken such pride in, were messy and wrinkled as if he’d been wearing them for days, or had slept in them the night before.

  He looked like hell, like a man that had lost everything, and she was smart enough to know that she’d never been able to talk him out of hurting her before and she had absolutely no chance of doing it now.

  But maybe, if she was lucky, she could distract him while she got to her phone to call for help, or until Hunter got home, or… something.

  “Joshua…” She tried again, keeping her voice as calm and steady as she could, “H-How did you get in here?”

  He snarled at her like she was an idiot, “You think people like me need keys, Millie? I’m Joshua Bell. People know me. I have connections.”

  She nodded even though she hated the way he said his own name, as if it were gold, “So you just, walked in. The doorman didn’t even buzz me to let me know you were here.”

  “Jesus Millie, don’t be dense.” Joshua snapped, “He’s a doorman. Fifty bucks to look the other way makes his day. What? Did you think he was a security guard? He’s not. He opens doors for a living.”

  Millie tried not to let the wince show. She’d always hated the way Joshua talked about people he deemed less than him. Doormen were definitely on that list and the scathing tone of his voice was brutal. Worse though was the fact that she could hear Hunter’s voice in the back of her head too. She remembered him telling her that she needed to know how to protect herself, that a doorman wasn’t a security system.

  The gun. Her eyes jerked down to the gun still hanging from Joshua’s hand, at his side. He had a gun, but if she could get to the living room, so did she.

  Hunter had helped her pick out a small handgun weeks ago. He’d been taking her to the shooting range every weekend. She wasn’t terrible at it, but she had a tendency to close her eyes when she pulled the trigger. Not that it mattered, she just needed to get her hands on it so that she and Joshua would be on even terms.

  If she could match him, he would see that she wasn’t going to let him hurt her this time and get away with it. He would back down. Or at least she hoped he would back down. She didn’t think she had it in her to actually shoot him but…

  Her thoughts stalled out and her momentary twinge of hope faded away. Her shiny new gun was locked up in its case. Sure it was in the living room but Millie hadn’t liked the idea of leaving it unlocked, whether it was for her protection or not. She’d tucked the gun safely in its case and then put it inside the trunk she used as a coffee table.

  Getting to it before Joshua did something stupid like murder her was going to be next to impossible.

  “Joshua…” She licked her lips nervously, trying to think of another plan, anything that might save her life, “If you paid him to let you up here, he’s going to remember you. If you do anything to hurt me, he’ll tell the police you were here. You know that, right?”

  His lip curled into a snarl, “Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid, Millie. You know how much I hate when you act like you’re smarter than me.”

  “I wasn’t.” She stepped back, her hips colliding with the handle to the oven. She bit her lip as pain radiated down her leg but she didn’t dare move her eyes away from Joshua, or the gun at his side. “I wasn’t being smart, I was just warning you. You won’t get away with whatever you’re planning to do here.”

  “Get away with it?” Joshua’s eyes gleamed, glossy and hard, “I don’t plan to get away with anything. Why would I want to? You took away everything in this world that was important to me. You and that asshole boyfriend of yours. So I’m going to take away everything that’s important to him.” His face twisted menacingly, “You.”

  The ice that had chilled her veins at the mere sight of him turned hot and angry with his words. Not because he was blaming her for everything that had gone wrong in his life. And not because he intended to hurt her, yet again, possibly even kill her. What made her angry was that he intended to use her to hurt Hunter.

  He was still trying to use her. Just like he’d tried to use her to take over the company. To take Colin’s rightful spot at the label. Joshua had only ever seen her as a tool to use for his own master plans and this was no different. This time he intended to use her not to help himself, but to hurt everyone that loved her and she was done letting Joshua use her.

  Instinctively her hand reached for the boiling pot of water beside her on the stovetop. She wasn’t even sure when she’d decided to make the move. It just happened. One second, she was standing there and the next her hand had closed around the heatproof handle and before she could blink an eye she’d swung the contents towards Joshua with every ounce of strength and hatred in her body.

  He screamed when the scalding liquid hit him but Millie didn’t stand around to see what sort of damage she’d inflicted. She ran. She took off like a lightning bolt for the living room, knowing her only chance was getting to her phone or that gun before Joshua recovered enough to shoot her in the back.

  She knew she’d miscalculated immediately when she heard his roar of anger. She rounded the island in the kitchen and made it three more steps. She’d barely laid a foot on the rug at the edge of the living area when she felt the heavy weight of him behind her. He was on her in an instant, shoving her so hard that she tripped and fell forward.

  Distantly Millie heard a scream, but it took her a moment to realize the sound was coming from her. She skidded across the floor, her shoulder taking the brunt of her weight. She thought she heard something crack but before she could process the pain her head slammed into the entertainment center, shattering the glass shelves and sending the television crashing to the floor beside her, barely missing her by a few inches.

  Her world went fuzzy at the edges as her vision wavered. She felt something warm sliding along her temple and when she blinked she lost all sight in her left eye. Blood, vaguely she knew that she was bleeding but when she tried to raise a hand to wipe it away everything hurt and she whimpered.

  “H…” She choked out a sob, “Help.”

  “You stupid bitch.” Joshua’s words were hot against her ear a moment before she felt his big hands on her. She tried to pull away from him but it was no use. She was hurt and he was so much bigger and stronger, and f
ueled by rage. He rolled her onto her back with a heavy toss of her body that knocked the air out of her all over again and then he was right there in her face and she wished that she couldn’t see him at all. “You stupid, stupid, bitch. Look what you made me do.”

  If she’d thought he looked unrecognizable before, she’d been wrong. Even with her sight limited to one eye, she could see his face now. It was hard to believe in that moment that she’d once thought this man the handsomest in the world and that she was the luckiest for catching his attention. Now she saw him for what he really was and he was so ugly that bile rose in her throat.

  His eyes were brighter now. His cheeks pink. He was breathing hard but she didn’t think it was from any sort of exertion. He was enjoying this, getting off on scaring her, hurting her, and he would enjoy killing her too because it would mean that he had all the power again.

  “Not…” She wheezed out a breath. She’d bit her cheek when she fell and she could taste the coppery liquid. She spit the blood at him, angry and defiant, refusing to be a helpless victim anymore, refusing to bow her head like he wanted her to, “Not. My. Fault.”

  “Not your fault?” Joshua got right in her face and screamed the words back at her, “Oh, yes, Mills. This is your fault. You ruined my life! You ruined me and you never even looked back did you?” He cupped her chin in what might have been a comforting gesture from someone else but he squeezed so hard her teeth ached, “Your little stunt at that wedding cost me everything! My father threatened to disown me. My mother won’t even look at me! Colin isn’t speaking to me and it’s all your fault! I lost everything!”

  “You did that.” She jerked her chin away from him, trying to get away but he had climbed on top of her and was pinning her down with his weight.

  Her arms were trapped at her sides, held in place by his legs, and he was sitting on her chest, making it hard to breathe. She wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to let her live but she wasn’t going to let him blame her for this or anything else. She wouldn’t go easily. Not this time. She wasn’t the same girl he remembered; wasn’t the girl he’d wanted her to be. She was stronger now. Loving Hunter made her stronger.

  A tear leaked from her eye and she bit her lip to stifle a whine. She loved Hunter. She was in love with him. He made her a better person. He made her happy. She loved him but she hadn’t told him, not yet, not with those words that had haunted her for so long because of this one terrible, abusive man.

  Joshua had tried to ruin her before. He’d tried to destroy her but she’d survived. She had to survive this too. Joshua didn’t get to have that kind of power over her anymore. She was happy. She was in love. And he wouldn’t take that away from her, not this time.

  “The only thing I did wrong was let you leave me.” Joshua hissed, “You were mine, Mills. Mine. You did what I said and you kept your mouth shut. If you’d just kept your mouth shut, I wouldn’t have to hurt you.”

  The gun that she’d nearly managed to forget about during the struggle reappeared then, right in front of her eyes. Pointed at her head. The cold tip of it pressed between her eyebrows and her body jerked on instinct, trying to get away from the danger that was imminent.

  He’d snapped. She’d known it as soon as she saw him. This wasn’t the same Joshua she’d known her whole life. This wasn’t even the Joshua that could lose his temper at a moments notice, the one that liked to teach her lessons with his hands and his fists. This was a completely different Joshua. This was a man that had nothing left to lose and blamed her and only her for his misfortune. This man had decided that if he was going down, he was taking her with him, and nothing short of death was going to stop him so she had to make sure it was his, and not hers.

  “Joshua, please…” She whispered, “Please don’t. Please.”

  “Don’t beg, Mills. It makes you sound weak.” He pressed the gun against her head again, harder this time and her body bucked beneath him, trying to break free.

  It was pure luck. Pure chance. She managed to catch him off guard or she’d never have been able to do it but he hadn’t expected her to fight. He never had. So when she bucked her hips and he had to lean forward to right his balance, she managed to get a hand out from beneath his knees. It was the only chance she had, the only shot at a possible reprieve, and she grabbed onto it with every ounce of strength left in her body.

  Her palm closed around a piece of glass on the floor beside her. It was sharp but she barely felt the sting of it slicing through her skin as she wrapped her fingers around it as tightly as she could. She closed her eyes and sent up a silent prayer as she raised her arm and jerked it forward more out of sheer determination to stay alive than any sort of skill or plan.

  She felt it the moment the jagged piece of glass shredded through Joshua’s back. He screamed and bucked, backwards this time, his body arching as he tried to jerk away from the glass dagger she’d shoved between his ribs. It happened so fast she couldn’t think of anything but instinctive survival. The moment the gun left her skin she rolled and shoved Joshua off of her. The rest of the glass on the floor cut at her skin but she barely noticed. She scrambled away from him on her hands and knees as he fell over to his side, trying and failing to reach the glass that was protruding from his back as he cursed and kicked and moaned.

  Somewhere, in the middle of the melee, she saw him drop the gun and her hands went for it. She was bleeding. She couldn’t feel it but she could see it. The red, thick liquid oozed over the handle of the gun as she struggled to get a grasp on it. It took precious seconds to get it in her hand and to regain her bearings enough to raise it and point it at where Joshua lay on the ground writhing in pain, the glass still embedded in his back.

  Millie pointed the gun at him. She could end it, right here, right now, she could end it all. She could make him pay for everything that he’d ever done to her. Every bruise, every scar, every fear that still crept into her dreams at night and kept her from telling the man she loved how she felt about him.

  She could kill Joshua, without hesitation, without mercy, and nobody would hold it against her…

  And that was when she heard someone else say her name.

  20

  Hunter had the strangest feeling that something was off.

  He couldn’t place what it was though. His job escorting the Senator to his daughter’s college graduation had gone fine. Vaughn had some seriously high connections to get them on details for the politicians in Nashville and Hunter didn’t mind taking a shift with the guy occasionally. It was usually pretty boring stuff, escorting him to the airport, to a funeral, that kind of thing, but the graduation ceremony had been interesting. He’d even liked some of the speech the kid had given. No doubt her father had big plans for her because she seemed seriously smart, not to mention absolutely beautiful.

  But not as beautiful as his Millie. Obviously. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. Hell, probably the smartest too.

  Those thoughts had kept him company after he signed out for the day and headed over to Millie’s place. She’d sent him a text message that she was cooking them dinner and wanted to talk. His stomach was growling and after the bruise his ego had taken when she hadn’t exactly jumped at his mention of them potentially moving in together, he knew they needed to talk too.

  He was happy that she’d taken the initiative and invited him over. He hadn’t been looking forward to banging down her door to talk otherwise. Instead he’d sent her a message confirming he’d be over soon, stopped by the corner store to grab a decent bottle of wine and then headed to her place.

  Only she hadn’t texted him back which was strange. What was even weirder was that when he got to her building, there was nobody at the front door. He supposed it was possible the guy was taking a bathroom break but it seemed off to him that nobody was stationed behind the big desk in the lobby either.

  Hunter checked his watch again. It was late but it wasn’t that late. He’d have to ask Millie about the protocol for entrance to t
he building because despite her assurances that she was perfectly safe in her gilded tower, this more than confirmed that she was wrong.

  He didn’t like it. He wanted her safe. He wanted her protected. But most of all he just wanted her with him, all the time, every day and every night.

  That was why he’d proposed they move in together but the minute the words had left his mouth the night before he’d known that she wasn’t ready. She’d gone stock still and her expression had taken on a far away look. He’d known where her mind had gone. He could do the simple math enough to add up that she was thinking about the last time she lived with someone, that someone being her ex, and just how badly that had gone for her. That was why he’d tabled the discussion and simply taken her to bed at the time.

  But it was a discussion they needed to have, and soon if he was ever going to get a good night’s sleep now that he knew her fancy building wasn’t guarded twenty-four seven.

  Hunter took the elevator up to her floor and as soon as the shiny silver doors slid open, he knew that his gut instinct had been right. Something was wrong. He’d known there was something off but he hadn’t been able to figure out what it was until now.

  Until he saw that Millie’s door was open just a crack… just enough to alert him that something had gone horribly, terribly wrong.

  Millie never would have left the door ajar. Even if she thought she was safe up here in her tower, she shut her door and always locked it behind her. He knew because he’d insisted on it, insisted that she take care of herself when he wasn’t around to keep her safe himself. She’d kissed him so sweetly after that talk and sworn she would always keep it locked. There was no way she would have left it open now even if she knew he was on his way over.

  Something thumped hard in the apartment and a cry of pain echoed out to him in the hallway. In the blink of an eye he was moving. Maybe Vaughn had been right all those weeks ago, maybe Hunter did lead with his heart sometimes. But right now his heart was inside that apartment and he wasn’t standing outside even a second longer trying to figure out how to approach the situation when she could be in there, hurt, and needing his help.