TAT Box Set

by Emjay Soren

  Well too damn bad. I deserve a man to hold my hand in public and scream from the rooftops that he loves me. I don’t deserve a text message confession of things I have always known. We are pushing thirty for fucks sake, not fifteen.

  The fact he even tried getting deep in a text proves he isn’t ready for what I need from him. I know he isn’t into feelings and most of the time he is all business. It was in the moments he let his guard down and allowed me to see all of him that made me fall in love with him. Those moments dictate where we go from here and no text, email or phone call will change it.

  If he wants me he needs to fight for me. He said he would but so far, I am unimpressed.

  Broken heart 100... Cal Dorian 0.

  If I stay here with you girl

  Things just couldn’t be the same

  ‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now

  And this bird you cannot change

  Chapter Four

  Tayla

  I am in a rush to get to Seattle before Guy Vincent takes the stage. It is crucial to see the size of the crowd, the line if there is one and the reaction of the fans when the act takes the stage.

  I am rushing now because I had to change my outfit ten times once Carrie told me that everyone was coming to A Bar Named Sue to see Guy Vincent and to hang out.

  That means Cal would be there, and Sam thank fuck, but I refused to wear my work attire if Cal would be there. After his little info bomb text last night there was no way in hell I’d even attempt to look like I did that night.

  My pencil skirt, heels and red blouse? They were all hanging neatly in my closet. Tonight, I wore my best fitting skinny jeans that had triple white stitching and crosses with crystals and various sparkly bead work on my ass. The very same ass that Cal would bite.

  I wore a long-sleeved white Henley with two scarfs interlocking; one with skulls and roses on it and the other in crosses. I wore flat boots in black suede that went above my knee and my shoulder length black hair was pulled up high in a messy knot that framed my face.

  Even my nails were stripped of the usual red I wore. Tonight, they were black and would be from here on out. I am who I am, and I make no excuses. I am heavily tattooed, short and thin with a giant chest and a curvy ass.

  And I have never complained or felt less than until Cal. I always worried if my hair was done, my makeup perfect or my clothes looking fierce. It wasn’t that he judged me; no, he was very open about how hot he thought I was. It was always wanting him to look at me that way that had me always checking.

  He had a way of making me feel like I was the only woman in the room just as easily as he could make me feel like I was one of thousands who wanted him.

  Tonight, I wasn’t giving it to him.

  I pull into a spot in the back of the bar and check my mirror one last time for flaws. I grab my lip balm, keys and purse and hop from the Rover, clicking the lock and waiting for the beep and flash before I make my way inside.

  I look at my phone when it chirps and see that Carrie sent a text.

  Carrie: We are all here and we got a booth in the front and to the left. Perfect view. Some other band is playing now, and they are good. How far out are you?

  I am instantly pissed. I didn’t know another band was playing tonight and it kind of screws the crowd response I need to see. I don’t text her back though since I am handing my ID to the doorman now.

  I make my way to the booth and see that everyone is here indeed. It is Cassa, Carrie and Sam at the booth, and TAT is on the stage playing some bluesy rendition of Free Bird and I am stunned frozen. This is Cal’s favorite song. He said that nostalgic rock always got him going and preferred riffing to it than to current music or even the bands songs.

  He always played this one for me though, and it was one of those rare Cal moments when he was bare and let me see everything. He would play this song on his acoustic and sing it, melting me every time. This song always got him laid.

  I once looked up the lyrics and felt my heart sink. He only played it for me and even though I had heard it a million times I had never paid attention. Cal singing it to me was his way of telling me not to love him. Telling me he would never change. The next time he played it for me; I distracted him with my mouth and did so every time after.

  The fact he was up there in a packed bar playing it with the rest of TAT including Noah was both confusing and cruel. After his everything bullshit last night he then shows up for a free impromptu concert to rub my face in his back pedal?

  Oh my God. Fuck him...just fuck him.

  I put a smile on my face and pretend it isn’t killing me that he’d do this and head to the table with a bottle of Bud in my hand. “Oh my God!” I say with mock enthusiasm. “How did they pull this off? And Noah too?”

  Carrie and Cassa are clapping and hollering over the massive crowd. This song is very long and the solo in it is insane, for all of them but it spotlights Cal and his guitar making it impossible to not watch him own every second of being up there with his guitar in hand.

  If it’s possible to hate him then I truly fucking hate him right now. I don’t let anyone see how this has shattered me as I take my seat beside Sam and snuggle up close. “Hi good lookin'.” I say and kiss his lips gently.

  He knows I know he does. He knows this has ripped me into a million pieces as he places his hand in mine beneath the table and gives me a squeeze letting me know he’ll play along. He always does.

  “You look fucking edible Pet.” He says and blatantly stares at me. Carrie and Cassa watch us with cutesy fascination, but also with uncomfortable silence which is broken when the song ends, and everyone goes into an uproar of applause for Thick as Thieves.

  “Thanks for letting us jam. Guy Vincent kicks ass stick around and party with us.” Chad says and jumps off the stage with Cal, Noah and Shame. I feel tears in my eyes seeing them together again and in their element. Noah looks so happy right now and I know Carrie and Cassa are thinking the same thing because we are all whipping the tears from our lashes.

  “Look Pet,” Sam says softly in my ear so only I can hear him. “I’ll play this however you need me to, but he is here tonight with purpose.”

  “No. He may have come with a purpose, but he just sang a song that told me to fuck off, so no, I won’t have it.”

  Sam has a confused look on his face and leans closer. “I’m not one to play the head games, but before you got here he was talking nonstop about you. He chatted up the owner and asked if they could play around for fun and told Carrie to text you and see how far out you were because he was playing your song.” He drinks from his beer and shakes his head confused. “Not really seeing the fuck you part Pet.”

  “Have you ever heard the words in that song Sam? I hadn’t either until he started to play it every time we got together. Once I heard the lyrics I caught his message.”

  “Tayla you’re a smart woman but stupid as fuck too. Men are simple creatures Pet. If we find something that makes the woman we want wet and all dopey eyed? We do it and we keep doing it until it doesn’t work anymore and then we find something else to captivate you and guarantee you still let us touch your pussy. If he knew that song got you, he’ll use it to his advantage every time.”

  “And the fact he knows every word of that song and that it’s one of his favorites?” I ask, and I am considering what Sam is saying.

  “Stop being so damn literal. He knows you love it. In the past he has gotten in your panties with it. Give him the smallest break Pet.”

  I don’t respond because the table fills up with our boys. One by one they all kiss and say hello to me before taking their seats. Noah, Chad and Shame, but Cal just scowls at me before taking the seat directly across from me and proceeds to glare.

  I pay him no mind once I give him my signature bratty eye roll before I start taking the notebook and mini DVR from my purse. I won’t let him interfere with my work. Guy Vincent deserves my undivided attention and me drooling after Cal or second guessing every
move he makes all night isn’t fair. Not to Guy and not to me and my poor mangled heart.

  Cal

  I see her the minute she steps through the door of the Sue, and there is no denying how fucking smart I am. I wanted to see her like this, the real Tayla that left the fucking work clothes at home. Don’t get me wrong, she is so fucking fine when she’s all business, but she acts differently when she’s just Tayla, not Tayla Livingston Junior VP of Coven relations.

  I want her loose, in her own skin. I know that this dude she’s here to see will be offered a contract, but within seconds from meeting this Indie star I knew he wouldn’t dig the Junior VP knows it all that she can be.

  We boys got our start in little bars like the Sue. Hell, we played this bar and packed the house every Wednesday night for four years. Fame doesn’t stop a guy from forgetting the little places the built us.

  A Bar Named Sue was old and falling apart. The owner named the bar Sue after his wife who lost her battle to Cancer in the 1940‘s and has been carried through the family for years. They pay the acts well; keep the drinks cheap, cold and the peanut bowl full.

  Small cracks that became big cracks in the vinyl seats and wobbly stools were just a few things TAT had donated, along with a new sound system and much more. The Sue needed to stay alive and with our help it would.

  So, guys like Guy Vincent had a chance in this cutthroat industry.

  I have met Guy and heard him play a million times and because I know him I can tell him Tay is the best and he is desperate enough for the fame he’d believe me. I don’t do that though. I let Tayla sell herself because she does it with class and bad ass wreckage to her competition.

  Now four months ago, I would have said “Hey yeah, Guy Vincent kicks ass. Don’t go dressing like a big corporate Diva it’ll annoy him, and he won’t respect you.”

  Now days I have to offer my help in ways that avoid her blowing up at me. And that’s a daily fucking occurrence these days.

  So, I knew if I was gonna recreate falling in love with her that it needed to start while she was working, and in the process, I unloaded some personal stuff about that first meeting between us. She was all business that night, but I ate it up and got hard just watching her drum her fingers and bite her lip. Hottest fucking poker face I have ever seen. Hand to God, there is no hotter woman out there.

  The minute she sees me on the stage I smile waiting for the recognition of the song she always loved me playing for her. They had my back and were totally on board with this cheesy romantic crap and I had to admit my adrenaline was at an all-time high because she will fucking love it.

  Nope.

  Not my Tayla. No clearly, I had missed something majority important from the get go, because the song that used to make her jump me and get dirty was now making her look like the only jumping me tonight would be with a fist to the nose and a kick in my ass.

  Then she pours the salt in the wound and puckers up on Sam and kisses him. Right. Fucking. There.

  By the time I made it to the booth I could feel the confusion on everyone at the table. I looked like a damn jack ass. I had told them all about the free bird singing and her various reactions and now we all sat shocked. I was so sure she would give me time I sent Axe to my folks for the night. What? Wishful thinking or being prepared, don’t hate.

  “You guys kicked ass man.” Sam says, and he is looking at me and I want to tell him to fuck off.

  “That was fun.” Chad says and fist bumps Noah. “It’s been forever since we have played that, seven maybe eight years.”

  I nod and look off to the rest of the bar with a lack of interest. My night was in the shitter from here on out. All my hard work was a waste except for jamming with Noah again. That was priceless.

  “You guys have been doing that song for eight years?” Tayla asks and I hear the genuine tone she is using.

  “We used to, but it feels like it’s been forever since we played it together.” Chad looks at me pointedly. “Whatever made you want to play it tonight Cal?”

  He’s putting me on the spot and I want to kick him in the chin. Why the hell is it that as nosy as they are they can’t read the obvious shit before them? To put me on blast right now will only backfire.

  “Just love the nostalgic shit.” I say and stare at him to shut him up.

  No luck. “I thought it was personal?” He says, and I want the fucking bar to catch fire just, so I can bail.

  I drink from my beer and let my stare land on Tayla and I stare her down long enough to make her squirm. I let every emotion I have felt from the moment we met until this very second, cross my face before I answer Chad. “It means nothing to me.”

  I excuse myself from the booth and head to the bar because I need some stronger fuel to get through this disaster.

  I feel the guys before I turn to answer to them because I know they are probably gonna chew my ass for that fucked up show that just took place.

  I am a jack ass to think we are going to get any privacy though. We don’t have that luxury and women and men alike are screaming and rushing to the bar for a glimpse. We’d learned a long time ago how to go about life even when you were never alone.

  “What was that?” Chad asks me. He is wearing his God of the Stage mask, but his tone tells me he thinks I’m a fucker.

  “Dude she sat down and started kissing Sam. It's hard to give in and show her when she doesn’t want to see it.” I say with a fake smile on my face.

  We all pause for a few selfies with some fans and a shit ton of autographs when Noah leans in. “I’m sorry Cal. Don’t give up yet.” For Noah nothing is that simple. There was no lecture, no words of consolation or advice. It was simple and to the point. I try to remember that my boys have all been here and fought for the woman they loved. I am trying to honor that and do the same.

  They head back to the table and I continue to sit at the bar, for once annoyed with the fangirls that refuse to give me a moment’s peace.

  I sit there, ignoring countless women and I just look at her. She is breathtaking my Tay. She moves with delicate purpose, and every shift or shiver she makes is erotic.

  I feel bile rise in my throat and an unhealthy hatred for Sam when I watch his fingers stroke along the back of her exposed neck. I want to scream knowing he is touching her. I watch her and wait for a response from her but there is no laughter, no longing looks.

  I go on instinct alone and type out a text and send it to her.

  Me: Does he make you tremble?

  I watch her and wait. She slips her phone under the table and pulls the message up. Her spine goes stiff immediately; she sits up and starts rubbing her neck, clearly uncomfortable. I watch as Sam leans in, I assume to ask if everything is okay. I watch her nod yes, then slowly, so slowly she looks over that delicate shoulder and stares me down.

  I tip my bottle back, my eyes never leaving hers. I drop a twenty on the bar and tap it before sending one more text once I’m in my Jeep.

  Me: That’s what I thought. He never will...Pet

  I don’t even know if I believe

  I don’t even know if I believe

  I don’t even know if I believe

  Everything you’re trying to say to me

  Chapter Five

  Tayla

  Cal: That’s what I thought. He never will...Pet

  The use of Pet is enough to pool tears in my eyes and I hear Noah’s voice shaking me from my pain.

  “He left.” He says and then six sets of eyes train on me for answers they know I have.

  I read the messages he just sent me and drop my head in shame. Sam laughs and shakes his head pulling me in tight. “Maybe no more games Pet.” He puts emphasis on the Pet and winks.

  “I am so sorry he hates you Sam. I have destroyed any chance of you guys being friends just to fuck with his head.”

  I feel horrendous knowing how amazing Sam is and that Cal will always resent him too much to see the truth.

  “Have you thought about hearing hi
m out Tay?” Shamus asks me, and I shake my head no, swiping a tear from beneath one of my lashes.

  “I can’t go there again. You guys don’t know how hard it is to love him. I am barely getting by without him as it is. If I let him back in and we fail? It will destroy me.” It’s the first time I have said those words out loud.

  “Who says you won’t make it?” Cassa asks and I respect her words knowing what she and Shamus went through.

  I have no words to respond with and I just let more tears fall.

  “Look Hun, he is trying so hard right now to impress you and rock the romance, and he really sucks at it Tay. You’ve got to meet him half way.” Carrie says and touches my hand, but I pull back irritated by her words.

  “You know how hard it’s been without him Carrie, knowing full well how bad he treated me. How can you ask me to pretend it never happened?”

  “I’m not saying to forget it Tay. No way does he get off after treating you like you were nothing. I am all for Cal being in the trenches and earning your heart, but he needs a little direction and only you can provide that babycakes. You have got to at least talk to him.”

  I want to, God I do, but it all must wait for now because Guy Vincent takes the stage and it’s time for me to work.

  I shove the anger, the pain and the stress of what I do next down deep and give Guy all my attention. I watch the crowd and how he interacts with them.

  I listen to the melodic beauty he fills the bar with and how he owns that stage and the fans in front of it. My personal life may suck at its best but when it comes to business I am lucky because I know the IT factor when I see it and Guy Vincent is it.

  I wait for him to finish the set and I buy him a beer and make my offer and by the time I leave A Bar Named Sue I have an appointment scheduled tomorrow to sign my latest star.