Powerless | Book 3 | New Order

by Roberts, S. C.

  It frustrated her. She was doing her best not to interfere, spending as much time with Janice herself as she could while visiting her sister at least once every day to keep them both company. But she was going to exhaust herself that way, considering all the other responsibilities she had, and still spending time with Chase because she didn’t want to leave him out either. Bringing it up before her sister did would only earn Merry's ire, but her patience with her sister was wearing thin.

  She sighed, exasperated. Nothing she was saying was getting through to Merry at all. "Come on. I haven't done anything wrong," she complained.

  Merry finally spoke. "You're the favorite and you don’t want a part of our family." She scoffed and folded her arms across her chest, looking away. "Of course princess Emma hasn’t done anything wrong."

  Emma sighed again. Well, at least she had opened up, even if Emma didn’t like being called a princess. It was so far from what she was that it wasn’t even funny.

  "You need to get rid of whatever misconceptions you seem to have about my life, Merry. They are honestly getting old. You're not a kid and you need to start acting your age."

  It was only a light reprimand, but Merry turned her head just enough to glare at Emma from the corner of her eye. Emma just gave her an unimpressed look back. She could be intimidating when she wanted to, but even Emma knew she was just playing indignant. It was basically a warning, that if Emma went down that road, they would be delving to a real argument.

  Emma wasn’t in the mood for an argument with her sister. She'd left the house early, and was only returning from patrolling the neighborhood for hours. Emma was exhausted, and she wanted to get to sleep sometimes soon, because her next patrol was going to be early.

  "Fine then, Merry. Tell me what it is that you want? I can't convince you of anything right now, and honestly I'm too tired and just plain don’t want to. So tell me what it is that you want from me."

  They had to resolve whatever was between them some time, and maybe if they could finally clear it up, Merry could finally talk to their grandmother. Besides, she was more than ready to have this taken off her shoulders. She had blamed a lot of how she lived her life on her family, but she'd dropped the thought every time because she knew they were unfair. So was the corner Merry was trying to push her into, blaming her for being too 'perfect,' and wrongly so at that.

  Merry glared at her for a moment longer, before the look eased off her face and she looked down. Her fingers twisted together on her lap, before she clenched her hands together tightly. What she said next, was something Emma would never have expected.

  "I want a chance to prove my worth, and I want to be on the neighboring watch with you."

  Her eyes widened at the sudden declaration from her sister, even though Merry didn’t turn to look at her once. But Emma knew, because she had said the words at all, that she meant them whole heartedly.

  Her mind instantly jumped to the argument, and she wanted to smack herself in the forehead. She'd had no idea Merry had been thinking about this so much. Well, she didn’t like the reason and her sister's motivation, but that she was willing to help the town in any way did make Emma feel a little bit better. Then this would mean that she hadn't just been playing a brat, but it didn’t change she was playing on a whim.

  "It isn’t just fun and games out there, Merry. You know how much the world has changed. It would be dangerous for you to go out there. We're still in the neighborhood, but we could get attacked at any time, you know. We're supposed to stay on alert."

  "What, you mean I'll distract you? I'll just be walking with you up and down the street, won't I?"

  Emma sighed and rubbed her forehead. Well, that was an entirely simplistic idea of looking at it, because they would be doing a lot more than that. It was true that nothing had happened yet, but... well, just yesterday she'd done nothing but what Merry said, with a gun slung over her shoulders, for hours.

  "Are you sure this it what you want?" she asked, uncertain.

  Merry's hands unclenched and she wrapped her arms around her chest. "It's what I want," she said bluntly. "What, am I just not allowed outside?"

  Emma hesitated. "Well, not quite that, but it isn’t recommended, and I don’t want you wandering off with the way things are now."

  Merry scoffed. "I wouldn’t run away. It's just patrol, isn’t it? Helping out the town and our neighborhood. Besides, you'll stay with me, won't you? You won't leave me behind."

  "Of course not," she said absent mindedly, part of her still feeling a little confused.

  Why of all things, would her sister pick this? There were plenty other ways she could be of help to others. Even if she'd been declared unfit for work before, the current world didn’t revolve around such rules. She would probably need supervision for a while, but she would be fine eventually.

  But, then again, she would be with Merry, and she could technically act as supervisor. Besides, it would only be once, wouldn’t it? That should be okay. If Merry didn’t take to it, then Emma could send her home and her obligation would be done.

  Emma considered it, knowing that Merry couldn’t be trusted with a weapon. She was getting better, but she could just as easily relapse. She had yet to get more pills, and the ones they had wouldn’t last forever. Merry was just too volatile.

  However, she considered that if Merry had purpose, she might be happier and might patch things up with Janice. If she didn’t, Emma could use giving her what she wanted to get Merry to do her a favor, and get the two of them to talk things out, finally. They were locked in some weird stalemate, had been since that last time Merry shouted at their grandmother, and Emma was tired of seeing it. She'd finally broken down and tried to interfere herself, but she hadn't been able to accomplish much.

  She would be right there beside her, anyway.

  "Would you go on patrol with me tomorrow?" Emma asked Merry. "I'm not sure if you can be out any other day, but if you do all right tomorrow, it could become a permanent position, though of course we work in shifts so we don’t tire ourselves out."

  After a moment, she turned around, and their gazes met.

  "I'd like that, very much. And finally, I'll have a chance to show my worth."

  Chapter Eighteen

  She woke up early and got her sister up so they could both prepare for the day.

  Emma was having second thoughts, now that she'd slept over her decision, wondering if this was really the way to go. The last time she'd let Merry out had been a bad idea, though she would be sticking to her now. Chase shared her worry, staring at her as she waited for her sister to finish getting ready.

  "Are you sure you should do this?" he finally asked after several minutes of her avoiding his eyes.

  She imagined judgment in them, though it was probably worry that he was feeling. She did appreciate that he didn’t come right out and say what a stupid idea it had been to actually agree to Merry's request without putting up much protest against it.

  There were plenty of reasons why Merry shouldn't come out with her than she had thought of at the time. She blamed the whole thing on her exhaustion, because she wouldn’t have done it if she'd had a sharp mind. Her family's safety was paramount to her. Putting them in needless danger went against the grain.

  But, there was a reason she was still going along with it.

  She sighed. "She asked, Chase. I asked her to tell me what she wanted, and this was it. You have no idea how little she actually asks for things from us, her family. And I already said yes. If I go back on my word now..."

  She was already at odds with Janice. Emma didn’t want to get on her bad side in case it caused her to start acting rashly. She needed a way to control her sister without being too controlling. Giving her things she wanted, even if she had to limit them, had to count for something in the end. She glanced over at Chase, but he was still looking worried.

  She sighed again and went to give him a pat on the arm. "I know you're worried. Honestly, so am I. but she said she
wanted to prove her self-worth."

  He frowned. "So, does this have anything to do with your grandmother and their fight before?"

  Emma shrugged. "I think, but I honestly don’t know. She isn’t exactly the talkative type, you know. She barely spoke at all, she just said the words that got to me more than anything. I'm hoping it would help them make up and forget about the argument."

  "I still don’t like this," he told her. "But, I guess if she asked and you're willing to let her go with you, then fine. It's not like I can do anything, anyway."

  Emma could have told him he had a say. If he told her outright not to take Merry, she might do just that. She may not follow it often, but she did trust Chase's opinion, and his judgment. Maybe, if she hadn't gotten angry at him before she went to see Merry, she might have avoided this whole thing. She didn’t want to babysit her sister when she was supposed to be on her job, but she knew if Merry knew that was what Emma thought, she would get angry, so she kept it to herself.

  "If anything happens, I'll send her home immediately. You've been teaching her a little about defending herself and I'm hoping that knowledge will be useful to her."

  Of course, she hoped fervently that today of all days nothing happened. Still, she got a really bad feeling, because things never seemed to go the way she wanted them to. Really, they never had. A knock on her door had her turning to face it.

  "Emma? It's me. I'm ready."

  She took a deep breath, another glance at Chase, and went to open the door. She was surprised at her sister's appearance. She really had cleaned up and changed into normal looking clothes. She looked different, almost like her old self, and she'd even managed to tame her hair somehow. Emma felt the surprise on her face and tried to change her expression, but Merry saw it already, and she scoffed.

  "Yeah, I clean up pretty, so what? Can we please go now?"

  Emma bit her lip at her sister's impatience. She must have really wanted to go outside, so Emma didn’t keep them any longer. They'd already had a quick meal, so it was fine.

  Emma and Merry headed out together on patrol, Emma trying to curb the uneasy feeling growing in her chest.

  It wasn’t like they were going far. They were just moving up and down the streets, checking in with patrollers from streets near theirs while keeping an ear out for the sound of a truck or gunshots. Of course, the element of danger and the fact that Emma was putting her ill sister in the middle of it did make her quite a bit uneasy.

  "It's cool to have such a big responsibility," Merry said out of nowhere. "I can see why you like it."

  Emma could have said that wasn’t why she was doing this, but it wouldn’t be entirely the truth. She did want to help out, but this also helped her out, and not in the way she had before, as a means of escape.

  "It's good to have a purpose and not be stuck in the house," she admitted. "I've never been able to just sit still and do nothing. It's why I always keep myself busy."

  Merry hummed. "It's no wonder I'm going crazy sitting in the house," she muttered.

  Emma turned wide eyes to her sister, but forced herself to look away in the next second. That was the first time Merry was admitting she wasn’t quite right in the head. It gave Emma hope that she really could recover. This was like Merry snapping out of her denial and starting to really think things true instead of just sticking stubbornly to the notion that she was right.

  She ignored the comment, not wanting to bring attention to it. "It's good for all of us to get out now and then," she said instead.

  They hadn't gone far, when Emma heard a voice calling out both their names. They turned around, surprised. Janice was rushing after then into the street. Emma wanted to curse. Having Merry out was bad enough, but she wanted her grandmother to be safe in the house. Chase was supposed to be keeping an eye on her so where was he? Though it was true that their grandmother was also an adult, and could leave the house as she pleased.

  Emma just wished she'd picked a different day. Maybe they shouldn’t have left home without speaking to her first, but now really was not the time.

  "Grandma, please go back to the house," Emma tried to tell her. "You need to get home. We're out on patrol right now, we can talk when we get back."

  But she wouldn’t listen, thinning her lips and shaking her head stubbornly, her eyes skipping over Emma to settle on Merry, who only looked on blankly, not saying anything.

  "Grandmother, please," she tried to plead, but it didn’t sway the older woman.

  "I need to speak to your sister."

  She sighed, exasperated, feeling the urge to yank on her hair in frustration. "Grandmother—"

  "No," she insisted, trying to get past Emma. "I did as you asked before and gave her time to cool down, but this has gone on for too long. I need to fix our relationship, it's been bothering me that I haven't done anything. Merry, please, just let's talk."

  "I don’t want anything to do with you," came the fast, scathing reply from Merry. "And I'm busy at work, so just please go back already."

  Emma wanted to curse again, at herself, at her sister. She should have intervened herself, and would have if she hadn't been so busy with other things. Merry should have been gentler in her words, and Emma could see the hurt cross her grandmother's face before it was replaced by determination.

  "We need to talk things out," Janice said.

  But before wither of them could respond, they heard the sound of a car.

  It made Emma's blood freeze. Because of course, today of all days, was when the invaders would chose to attack. There was no time to get everyone back indoors.

  Everyone clumsily got into position, Emma wondering what the hell she was going to do. They were all panicking as a car pulled up. Several people jumped out of the car, guns blazing.

  This was so like he last time that she had a flash of déjà vu. Of course, there were plenty of men in this party, but a woman with a gun ran for Emma, Janice and Merry.

  She did curse then, struggling a little with the strap as she pulled the gun around. The woman had her gun raised and aimed, right at Merry, and she took the shot as Emma shot the woman. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Emma got the shot, and the woman went down, but she thought she'd heard the woman take her own shot, and Emma was already turning to Merry, a shout to move on her mouth.

  But Merry was frozen, gaping with wide eyes in the way the woman had come from, like she couldn’t understand what was going on. Fear iced Emma's heart when she thought her sister was going to die.

  She didn’t see it in time. She was so focused, that she never turned to look at Janice and didn’t notice when she moved. Before the bullet could hit Merry, Janice dived in the way of the bullet. Emma just watched, mouth widening in a silent scream, as Janice crumpled to the ground like a broken marionette, her own feet frozen for a second.

  Merry fell to the ground beside Janice, sobbing. But there were still enemies in the area. Emma watched the carnage unfold, with her grandmother dying and the others fighting. She found herself stumbling forward, toward her family, barely paying attention to anything else going on around them as words of denial circled in her mind.

  Just no. this should not have happened, not today of all days. Was it just bad luck, that the day Merry chose to start coming out of her shell, this would happen? And their poor grandmother. Emma needed to do something, make sure she was okay, but what? She wasn’t a real nurse, for all the help she did at the hospital. She didn’t have any supplies, or miracle worker hands. She knew even as she got closer to them, what would happen.

  Janice tried to speak, but couldn’t for the pain, obvious to any who saw her because of how it twisted her face and had tears running out her eyes. Merry tried to stop the bleeding with her own hands, her hands soaked in blood.

  Janice passed quickly, and Emma watched Merry fall apart.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The gunfire stopped, but Emma's ears were still ringing.

  Her thoughts wouldn’t slow down. H
ow could this have happened, today of all days? All she could see, over and over in her mind, were the moments that woman appeared, her aiming the gun, Janice crumping to the ground, Merry sobbing and all the blood.

  The blood, particularly, filled her sight with red. Her grandmother was either dead or dying—she was dead, Emma could tell, she just didn’t want it to be true—and there was nothing she could do besides killing the person that made the shot.

  She dropped to her knees by her sister and her dead grandmother, holding Janice's hand. It surprised her that the hand was warm, but she quashed the hope in her heart before it had the chance to grow. That would mean nothing, in a little while. There was way too much red on her chest for her to survive it.

  She watched the blood seep and knew Janice meant what she said about loving her grandchildren equally—she gave her life for Merry's.

  Her sister was crying her heart out next to her, and Emma couldn’t make a move to comfort her. She didn’t know that she could. Merry's hands were still pressing down on Janice trying to staunch the blood flow, though Emma knew it was much too late. They would have had a chance if the world had been the way it should be. They would have been able to call for an ambulance, and if they were lucky, it wouldn’t take long for medical personnel with supplies and experience to do their best to keep Janice alive. She would have been taken to a hospital, with all the equipment they could need to save her.

  Hell, if the world had been as it should be, this would not have happened at all.

  Merry sobbed uncontrollably. She was speaking through the sobs, barely coherent, but Emma did catch her saying that things shouldn’t have ended the way they did between them.

  ... Right. They two of them were fighting, even just before the attack. Emma was still feeling numb about it, but she could just imagine how Merry felt.

  Merry, who had been witness to their parents dying while Emma blocked it from her mind. Merry, who had been irrevocably changed because of what she'd witnessed, how it had warped her mind. And then to watch this again, while she'd been picking a fight with their grandmother. Having to live with the knowledge that Janice took a bullet meant for her... even though Emma held herself partially responsible for not doing all that she could.