Dirty Dealings

by Gillian Godden

  ‘You shut the fuck up, Tony. And don’t you ever speak to Fran like that again.’ The resounding slap across Tony’s face made everyone look up. Julie had had enough of this squabbling. ‘Sit down.’ Her authoritative voice filled the room.

  ‘Now then. Jack, what do you want to do?’ asked Julie. ‘Come on, lay your cards on the table. The officer is waiting. We know where your dad is going, but what about your mum?’

  Julie saw Jack glance across at Tony, who was still rubbing his jaw from where she had slapped him. ‘Don’t bother looking at him, he is nobody. This is your parents. We all do what you want to do.’ Julie looked sharply across at Tony. He looked down and nodded. She was right. It was Jack’s decision about his mum.

  ‘I don’t want them to be together,’ Jack began. ‘I think we all know, including yourselves,’ Jack looked across at the officers and gave a weak smile, ‘we all know that my parents were not together. For whatever reasons, Mum shot Dad. So, no, I cannot have them together. I think it would be for the best if Mum’s family organised her funeral. I am fully prepared to pay for it, but I think they should do it.’

  Tony seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. It seemed Jack had made his choice. This was his family.

  ‘Very well, then. You heard him, Officer. Can you have Jake taken to this funeral parlour or we will arrange to have him picked up. I’m sure you can fill in the details. Are you sure, Jack, that you want your mum’s family to take over her arrangements?’ Julie asked, one final time. She wanted him to be absolutely sure.

  ‘Yes, Aunty Julie. She made Dad sad a lot. He loved her and I don’t know why she didn’t love him back. He was a good man and I want to do right by him … if that’s okay with everyone. Also,’ Jack stammered. He looked embarrassed.

  ‘Go on.’ Julie was curious to what he was going to say. Why did he feel embarrassed now? ‘Go on, Jack, say what you want to say.’ Julie had taken this meeting over. She was fed up with everyone walking on eggshells, not daring to speak in case they said the wrong thing. This had to be sorted properly.

  ‘Did you know, Uncle Tony, that my dad wasn’t my real dad?’ Jack looked across at Tony. He wasn’t sure whether he knew or not.

  Glancing around the room and pursing his lips, Tony wasn’t sure how to answer. But he decided now was the time to tell the truth. ‘Yes, I did, Jack. But then, he was not my real brother. You’re talking biology, Jack. That doesn’t make a family. Love does. I’m not Bobby’s father, you all know that, but to all intents and purposes I am. I’m the man that bought him his first pint of lager. I took him to football matches. As far as I’m concerned, I’m his dad.’ Tony looked up at Bobby.

  ‘You forgot to mention, you taught me how to cheat at poker.’ Bobby laughed. ‘Yeah, you’re my dad. You’re the only dad I have ever known, same as Jack here with Jake.’

  The police officers glanced across at each other and decided it was time for them to leave. ‘If you need anything, Mr Sinclair, here is my card. We will be in touch with Mrs Sinclair’s family to make arrangements with them.’

  ‘Thank you. You have all been very kind.’ Jack stood up and shook their hands before they left.

  ‘So, who told you, Jack?’ Tony couldn’t help but ask. Why now, after all of these years, did someone feel the need to tell him that Jake wasn’t his dad?

  ‘Grandma.’ Jack’s voice was barely a whisper. ‘She said she felt I should know. We’re not blood-related at all, Tony. In any way. I am Mum’s son, her and some guy I don’t know about. Did you know him?’ Jack waited.

  ‘Not really, mate. Think he got a job elsewhere and left. As far as I am aware, he didn’t know you were on the way. Why are you so worried about blood and family, Jack?’

  ‘Well. I don’t really belong, do I? I’m like a cuckoo. I don’t belong anywhere, I am just in everyone else’s nest. Now Dad … erm, Jake, is dead, I don’t belong here, either,’ Jack shouted. Tears rolled down his checks.

  Everyone expected Tony to start shouting and throwing a tantrum but he surprised them all. He reached out and pulled Jack towards him and hugged him. ‘We don’t do blood in this family, Jack. We’re all bloody cuckoos. Your dad was my brother and I am your Uncle Tony. Got it? Lambrianu and Sinclair. That is how it has always been. Blood or not, eh?’ Tony held him tightly.

  CHAPTER 25

  GAME, SET AND MATCH

  Elle handed Tony his coffee and stood there waiting. She wanted to speak to him, but knew he wouldn’t see her side of things.

  ‘Well, Elle, I can see you’re waiting for something so you might as well get it over with.’

  ‘It’s Sharon’s funeral today. I want to go and see her.’ Elle was serious. She felt better now all was resolved with Jake, and his funeral was going to be a lavish affair. Horse-drawn carriages would bring London to a standstill. Everyone had agreed to close their shops and pubs for the day out of respect. Reporters were on standby and it would be splashed all over the local news.

  Sharon’s funeral was going to be a much smaller affair. It was just close family. ‘Why the hell do you want to go and see her, Elle?’ Tony couldn’t believe his ears.

  ‘Because Jake was and is my son. I want the chance to see the woman who killed him, for the very last time.’

  Tony knew there was no point in arguing. ‘Okay, I will have a word with Jack. I will go with you to the funeral parlour. Make sure none of her screaming banshee sisters are there.’

  ‘I don’t care if they are, Tony, love. They didn’t like her much anyway. All she was to them was a payroll. I can look them in the face. Can they look at me, knowing their sister is a cold-blooded killer?’

  ‘A lot has been said, though, Elle. Shit about how badly Jake treated her, which we know was a lie, but I don’t want you dragged into their argument.’ Tony could see there was no way of changing her mind, it was made up, and so he decided to contact Jack.

  Jack knew none of the family would be visiting the funeral parlour today. Sharon’s funeral was that afternoon. They had only been once or twice at most to see her.

  Elle walked into the room. Sharon looked beautiful, almost as though she were asleep. Tony looked up at the ceiling; he couldn’t bear to look at her. Jack and Tony were both curious and confused when Elle stood by the open coffin and stroked Sharon’s hair. ‘I used to think, Sharon, you were the best thing that happened to Jake, but I was wrong. The more he loved you, the more you hurt him.’ Elle’s voice was soft and soothing, like she was talking to a child.

  Tony and Jack stood mesmerized by this strange scene. ‘You held a sword of guilt over his head, forever reminding him that he couldn’t give you children. Once you had Jack, you held that over his head, too. He knew if you left him you would take him away. Oh, yes, Sharon, he told me many times about your threats to take Jack away. Now Jake has gone, I can do the one thing I always wanted to do.’ Elle raised her arm and, with one mighty sweep, she slapped Sharon hard across the face, although it made no impact. She was about to do it again when Tony grabbed her arm.

  ‘Enough, Elle. You have said your piece.’

  ‘I have wanted to do that for a very long time.’ Elle pulled her coat together and walked out of the room.

  ‘What was that all about, Elle? Tony had waited until they dropped Jack off at Bobby’s. He was going to the funeral that afternoon and Bobby was going with him. Scarlet and Katie had not been invited, even though Jack had welcomed their support. Sharon’s sisters did not want any Lambrianus there. Everyone decided it wasn’t worth the argument.

  ‘Well, Elle, are you going to tell me what just happened in there?’ Tony couldn’t believe the scene he had witnessed in the funeral parlour. He had wanted to slap Sharon many times, but he had never in his wildest dreams presumed Elle felt the same.

  ‘Justice, Tony. It was something I’ve always wanted to do and that was my one and only chance. I did it partly for Jake, but mostly for myself. I will always protect my boys. And you and Jake are my boys. She threatened to take Jack
away from him for years. He has sat in my lounge many times and cried because of her and given into any whim or fancy of hers just to keep everything running smoothly.’ Elle looked him squarely in the eye. This was a different Elle, not the placid easy-going one they had all come to know and love.

  Later that afternoon, Tony drove to the cemetery he knew Sharon was being buried at. He had arrived late and, thankfully, by the time he got there everyone was leaving. Mark, his driver, had parked further down the driveway away from everyone. Tony sat in the back, watching everyone leave, then he got out of the car and walked towards the open plot. Elle had given him an idea and this was his golden opportunity. There were a couple of guys hanging around, possibly the gravediggers. ‘Hey, you two,’ he shouted. ‘Go and have a cup of tea or something. I want a moment to myself.’ They didn’t need telling twice and quickly departed.

  Sharon’s coffin had been lowered into the grave but it hadn’t been filled in yet. The soil surrounded the plot, waiting for the gravediggers to come and do their job. looking six foot down at the wooden coffin, Tony felt nothing for the woman he had known for decades. A wry grin appeared on his face.

  ‘You know, Shaz, I hate you so much I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Well, you’re not on fire. It’s a shame they didn’t have you cremated.’ Undoing the zip on his trousers, Tony held his penis and promptly started to piss on Sharon’s coffin. As the stream of urine fell on her coffin, Tony felt a grim satisfaction. Now he could understand Elle. The sheer satisfaction took a load off his shoulders. He could almost see Jake at his side and knew how they would have laughed at this. Pulling his zip back up and adjusting his trousers, Tony looked down again at the urine-stained coffin. ‘There you go, Sharon, have a drink on me, you bitch!’ Then he burst out laughing and walked to the car.

  CHAPTER 26

  THE LAST WORD

  ‘What’s all this then?’ Looking around the room at the whole family gathered together, Tony was surprised. Not only surprised, but it seemed they were waiting for him.

  ‘Well, if it’s a family meeting, it must be bad.’ Tony sat down on the huge leather sofa, brushed his silvery blonde hair from his face and sighed. ‘Well, let’s have it. More bad news, I presume?’

  ‘It’s not bad news, Dad. We’ve decided to support you the way you have always supported us. Now it’s our turn.’ Scarlet was taking the lead as spokeswoman.

  ‘Do you know anything about this, Francesca?’ A confused frown furrowed his brow. He really didn’t need to play games at a time like this.

  ‘I do now, darling. Listen to Scarlet and Katie. Hear them out, it’s not all bad news.’ Her warm smile convinced him it would be okay, but he was curious.

  ‘Go on, then, I’m listening.’ Getting comfy and folding his arms, Tony waited.

  ‘Everyone who works at the club is being paid a wage, even though the club’s been shut for ages.’ Tony was just about to speak, but Scarlet held her hand up to stop him. ‘Hear us out, Papa, and then you can have your say.’ Scarlet waited for Tony to nod in agreement; he even made the sign that his lips were sealed by pretending to zip them.

  ‘Katie and I have been talking. As I say, everyone is on a wage. I know you can afford it, but, nevertheless it’s bad business. You have to open up the club again.’ Pausing, Scarlet waited for his protests, but none came. ‘I am going to help run the club. Take over where Sharon left off. Sharon’s assistant is doing a good job, but she is not Lambrianu. You know Katie and Chris have ideas about taking on the vineyard and running it as a Lambrianu legacy. We think you should let us. We also think that you and Mum should take a well-earned break from all of this. Go away on holiday. Not Italy, somewhere else.’

  Looking around the room at the sea of faces, Tony wanted to laugh. His young daughters thought they could run his businesses. They were kids. What did they know? He appreciated the gesture but it was laughable.

  ‘That’s really nice of you, Scarlet.’ Turning towards Katie, his smile warmed. ‘It’s nice of both of you, but there is a lot you haven’t taken into consideration. Firstly, we cannot go on holiday because we cannot take Adam out of school again. Secondly, what do you know about running a club? More to the point, a pole-dancing club.’ Tony laughed and shook his head. He didn’t want to crush Scarlet’s good intentions.

  ‘I bet I know more about the club business than you did when you started.’ Scarlet stuck out her chin stubbornly and looked him squarely in the face. ‘We have been brought up with it and what I don’t know, I’ll learn. It’s the same with Katie. She has been brought up with Lambrianu Wines and the vineyard. She and Chris have some good ideas. Fresh, new ideas. And as for Adam, there are enough of us to look after him. Elle is more than happy to live in and look after him, I have already spoken to her. It will give her something to do, as well. Losing Uncle Jake has wiped her out. Now she has another little boy to look after.’ Scarlet winced at the thought of mentioning Jake’s name, but they had to talk about him sooner or later. ‘We’re going to launch the club’s opening again with our engagement parties.’ Stopping him with her hand again, Scarlet spoke a little louder this time. Now her confidence had grown somewhat she felt braver. ‘Yes, Papa, we’re going to marry these two guys, and I think this family needs something to celebrate. We will start sorting things out after Jake’s funeral.’

  ‘Well, they have been busy, haven’t they, Ralph. I always thought someone might want to steal off me, but bloody hell. These two want the lot. Lock, stock and barrel. What do you say?’ Tony laughed. The very idea seemed absurd.

  ‘Personally, Tony, I think they have some valid points, and where would we all be if no one had given us a break, eh? They have more back-up than we ever did,’ said Ralph, giving him that knowing look.

  Tony burst out laughing. He thought it was ridiculous. ‘Thanks, girls, but no thanks.’

  Christopher interrupted. ‘Probationary period, Mr Lambrianu.’ Much to Tony’s annoyance, he was sitting in on this ‘family’ meeting, as was Dominic.

  Tony narrowed his eyes. ‘What has all of this got to do with you two?’

  Very calmly and unintimidated, Christopher spoke up. ‘It’s inevitable that we both are going to marry you daughters. Everyone else knows it. You haven’t even asked how Dominic is getting on with his garage. I have invested with Dominic and it’s a going concern. No one is trying to steal anything from you. You cannot be in Italy and here. You don’t have any confidence in any of us. If that is the case, make it a probationary period ... say, three months?’

  Feeling a little embarrassed at the mention of Dominic’s garage, he nodded. He knew that it wasn’t the mobile one that had been suggested. Mark, his driver and Dominic’s father, had told him – he was proud that Dominic and Christopher were partners – but Tony had ignored it. He knew he would need help. There was no Jake now to keep an eye on things in his absence. There was still the Paris casino and the possible investigation to sort out.

  ‘Okay, I will think about it.’ Tony held up his hands in submission. He felt browbeaten. Everyone seemed to have an answer to each objection he made. ‘I am making no decisions until after Jake’s funeral.’ Sitting back in his chair and sweeping his hand through his hair, he let out a deep sigh.

  Ralph gave a little cough to interrupt Tony. ‘Erm, talking of Jake’s funeral, Tony, I would like a word with you. Can we have a talk in private … say, in the men’s room, downstairs?’ Ralph looked serious, but he also looked embarrassed.

  The men’s room was the converted cellar Julie and Francesca had transformed into a den, a ‘Men Only’ room. It had pool tables, Sky sports and, of course, a bar.

  ‘Sure, Ralph.’ Tony was glad of the excuse to leave the meeting behind. ‘Let’s pop down there now.’ He stood up and walked away with Ralph, leaving them all sitting there. They were no wiser and seemed discouraged by the abrupt end to the meeting.

  ‘Jake loved this place.’ A smile crossed Tony’s face as he looked towards the leather sofa in
the corner that still had Jake’s games remote on the arm. He had loved all those old retro video games.

  ‘I had a telephone call from an undertakers’ today. Apparently, they have tried contacting you, but you haven’t got back to them, so they called me.’

  ‘Why would they call you?’ Tony waited while Ralph took the tops off two bottles of lager and handed him one. ‘Oh, you mean that undertakers in town. Yes, Tony nodded. ‘They have left a few messages for me to call them but I haven’t returned their calls. They just want to offer some kind of deal, I suppose. They are after selling me something.’

  ‘Well, you’re wrong, Tony, which is why they probably decided to contact me.’

  ‘Look, Ralph, they just want to sell something. They are jumping on the bandwagon, trying to make money out of Jake’s funeral.’

  ‘You’re wrong again, Tony. And, for the record, no funeral director would be so heartless as to muscle in and try and sell you something. They understand grief, they work with it every day. Anyway,’ Ralph carried on, ‘I popped in to see them and they gave me this.’ Ralph handed over an envelope.

  Tentatively, Tony reached out to take it, all the while curiously looking at Ralph. After first taking a gulp from the bottle of lager, he opened the official-looking envelope from the undertakers.

  Ralph sat down and watched Tony’s face as he read the letter, all the while hoping it was good news.

  Suddenly, Tony burst out laughing. He was belly-laughing so much tears streamed down his face. Waving the letter under Ralph’s nose, he said, ‘Have you seen what that cheeky bastard has done? Jake has fucked us all. Oh, my God, he’s amazing, Ralph ... read that. That little brother of mine had to have the last word.’

  Ralph picked up the letter and, as he read it, a faint smile appeared on his face. This is what it had taken to bring Tony back into the land of the living. This was closure for Tony, hearing from Jake again. It read: