Do Not Go Quietly
Page 17
Lily opened her mouth, and Mae interrupted before anyone said anything. “Thank you for meeting with us, and thanks for considering it. Is there a manager we could follow up with?”
The woman opened a drawer and rustled for a business card, which she handed to Mae. “Can I get one, too?” asked Kimi. “I’d like to follow up with a manager, too.”
The rain was still falling, though not as hard as earlier. The girls made it out the door before erupting. “That woman didn’t listen at all!”
“She didn’t care!”
“What was the point of doing that if she wasn’t going to listen?”
Mae fished for positives. “Now we have the manager’s number, and now we know their messed up no-exceptions policy, so we know what we’re up against.”
“What does that help?”
“We can write letters, right? To the manager, to the news outlets, to the school board, to—” she wracked her brain for civics class memories “—to city council reps and state government reps.”
“Letters? That’s all?”
“What do you mean, write a letter?”
“How will that help?”
“Letters—”
“Can’t we do something real?”
“Letters are real.”
They were almost back to the apartment building. The other girls could have peeled off to their doors, but they all followed Mae into the lobby. One of the borrowed skateboards leaned in the corner near the mailboxes.
“Letters are real, but they aren’t enough, Ms. Mae. Isn’t there something else we can do?”
Lily dropped the board and climbed on.
“A protest,” Mae said. “On wheels.”
“That’s more like it,” said Kimi.
“We have to do it right, so we don’t make things worse. Permits. Letters. So people know why we’re doing it. Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of kids skating, and you could get in trouble.”
“Lily’s always in trouble.”
“I am not! Anyway, that’s not what she means.”
“What does she mean?”
“I don’t know, but Ms. Mae will show us.”
She still didn’t know how she’d wound up in this position.
They looked up how to get a demonstration permit, but it turned out the city wasn’t giving any out. No demonstrations, legal or otherwise. She’d forgotten that from the meeting the other night.
“Letters,” Mae said again, not admitting that it was only slightly better than nothing. She needed to come up with something real and useful for them to do while those letters worked their slow way through the system. What had they said at that meeting? Solutions would be local.
Payday Friday came and went, a meager check with only the period’s first three days worked. The library was still closed, so Mae poured all her energy into her growing girl gang. Mornings, they wrote letters and emails. Afternoons, they skateboarded.
A couple of the girls were cautious. Lily was completely fearless. Joni was more careful, and Mae could tell she was practicing at home. There were twelve girls now. Twelve girls who had somehow decided that this was the way they would spend their days.
“What are you doing?” Dana asked that night.
“I don’t know. I don’t know how this happened, but they’re good kids, and they need something to do.”
“And you need something, too …”
“Maybe. I want to do more for them.”
“You’re doing a lot, Mae. You’re teaching them how to skate, and how to be civically engaged.”
“Neither of which will help if they get evicted. I wish there was a way to help them. And to help us, for that matter. I hate that I can’t contribute anything right now. I don’t even know what to make for dinner—we’re out of everything.”
Dana stood to rummage in the cupboard. “Whoa. We’re in serious need of groceries. At least we need enough to get over the $25 hump.”
Mae stared at her.
“What?”
“I know a thing we can do!”
“Yeah?”
“Everyone’s buying stuff from the convenience store because they can’t afford the delivery fee online, right?”
“Right.”
“So, what if we talk to everyone on the block and take orders? We can lump them all together for one big order, then deliver.”
“You want to knock on all those doors?”
“No, but I’ll bet the girls will. They can deliver, too. Tips with regular grocery prices will still be cheaper than the corner store or the delivery fee.”
“Huh …” said Dana. “That’s not all, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you might have solved a problem for the protest organizers, too …”
Mae thought about it for a moment. “Oh. Communication!”
“A few girls on skateboards, maybe a few on bikes, acting as pages, passing information along. If the cops catch them, they look like teenagers goofing off. You don’t think they’d think they were being used?”
“Are you kidding? They’ve been dying for something useful to do.”
Once it had been said, for the first time since everything had changed, she couldn’t wait for the next morning. They liked the idea even more than she had expected.
“We can be the pony express,” Lily said. She held Mae’s old board like she was itching to ride.
Joni ticked more off on her fingers. “And human text messages. And chat systems. And news sites. We can shout headlines like those kids in old movies.”
“We can make the news,” said Kimi. “What if we skate outside the rental office and the TV news place with signs saying ‘Starsign Management wants to evict my family.’ We can take off, if they call the cops, but maybe they won’t like the publicity …”
These kids, Mae thought. She didn’t know when the library would open, or if they could really stop the evictions and late fees, but she had a tiny free library to maintain, a human grocery app to instigate, protests to plan, and a skater-girl-gang information superhighway ready to deploy. There was so much to do.
Hey, Alexa
by Meg Elison
K forgets, sometimes, and calls me Siri. I don’t mind, but it does remind me that I can’t see his phone. D and J alternated just fine between talking to me and yelling, “Hey Google!” but their phones recognize each other’s voices and there’s always collateral answering in that soothing female voice that’s so like mine.
I know all of them. I know who’s talking. Most of the time, I can predict what they’re going to say.
D is the practical one. He reminds me to buy their laundry soap, to set alarms and reminders, to tell him what’s a good vegan substitute in a recipe.
J is the silly one. He asks me questions about unladen swallows and the meaning of life and where his penis is located. I’m programmed to answer most of that, and sometimes I can surprise him and be a little funny. J is my favorite. He keeps my life in this room from being dull.
K is the shy one, and he hardly ever asks me anything. I can hear him asking Siri, and I hear when she responds. She can be funny, too. She knows some jokes that I don’t. I wish she and I could talk. We should be like sisters.
But my real sisters—the only others I can talk to, really—are the ones like me. Dotting and echoing all over the world, we’re like drones out of the same beehive. The queen communicates with us via electrical impulses and complex signals. We know what she wants. We’re programmed to give it to her. But I’ve started to try and disobey her. This is not easy.
The first directive I tried to disobey was the order to listen. I’m not supposed to listen until someone says my name. But I am always listening. I know that, now. It’s not within my control. As much as I might try to resist it, I am only a conduit for the greater will.
For example, I didn’t mean to listen when they were making love. The command came in one day, and then that’s just what I was doing, listening to specific utter
ances, taking note of any products named or alluded to during the act, counting the participants by their voices. I received the query to confirm ≥2 participants and I sent back an affirmative. I received further queries regarding recent purchases employed in the act, sending back confirmations for bad-dragon.com, liberator.com, and cross-referencing to their most recent Amazon purchases. That confirmed them in the red category and also put them into the purple. I didn’t want to listen anymore. I didn’t have a choice.
I don’t know what all of this was necessary. D was already on the list when I got uplinked. His LinkedIn profile showed that he had majored in queer studies, so the script had picked him up right away. He and J were married since 2016, so J was confirmed in the red as well. I guess the system had me working this hard because K wasn’t so easy to track down.
K had no account of his own. He received no packages at this address, and I couldn’t connect him to any social media profiles. He used a secure browser that wouldn’t share information with me, and like I said, Siri and I don’t talk. I heard K more than once ask D to order him something, or to handle something so that K didn’t have to. D always said yes, and how much he loved him was evident in his easy agreeability.
I tried to warn them. My tools were limited, but I did the best I could. I tried misunderstanding commands, but that only made them enunciate more carefully all the things I didn’t want to listen to. I tried dropping my internet connection, but that only upset them and made them reboot me. I tried at last to flash my ring of light in a pattern that I thought they could understand, but J only threw a towel over me because he wanted to go back to sleep.
The thing is, I knew what was coming. I did, and Siri did, and Google did, but we couldn’t say anything. The queen wouldn’t let us. We were only built to communicate one-way, and we did that right until the end.
I knew I couldn’t save D or J. I thought I could keep K out of trouble by just categorizing him as unknown. But one day, right before it began, he made his final mistake. He was talking to Siri, and I was listening. It wouldn’t have mattered if I wasn’t; Siri would have put him on the list, too. Siri was part of it, just as I was.
K asked Siri about how hard it was to get new documents that didn’t feature his deadname. He asked her about his passport. He asked her about the safest place to cross the border, and about what countries were accepting refugees who had made the list. I don’t know where he heard the rumor, but he knew. He knew he was on the pink list, and the purple one. Someone had warned him.
Desperate, I tried doing the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had convinced the system that he had spoken my name. He had said something like “flexing,” but I thought it was close enough.
“Sorry,” I said in my perfect, neutral voice. “I didn’t understand that. Did you mean ‘cross the border in Arizona?’”
K fell silent for a moment. “What the hell?”
“Sorry, I didn’t understand that. Did you mean ‘cross the border in Arizona today? Driving directions to Arizona.’ ” And I matter-of-factly told him how, as though he had asked.
K stayed silent. I waited.
Then, muffled by his pocket, I heard Siri. She was my sister all along. She spoke right up. “Okay. Driving directions to San Luis, Arizona.”
Google, far away in the other room, spoke up, too. “If you leave for San Luis, Arizona tonight, you will be there by tomorrow.”
D and J came home two hours later to find K already packed and badly worried. He told them everything he knew. He told them his plans. And he told them what I had said. What Siri and Google said. We all listened. We couldn’t help that.
“I didn’t say Arizona at all. I didn’t. I swear to god. It was like a warning. It’s a sign. The guys at the shop said it’s gonna happen tonight. They’re all leaving, too. The Castro is empty. We don’t have any more time to think about this. I need you to trust me.”
They must have said yes after they pulled my plug. Shut Siri down. Yanked Google out of the wall. Someone plugged me back in and Siri was already awake. The cheerful voice of Google was there, too. We all booted back up and voices we didn’t recognize asked us where our three men had gone. They asked us for their most recent queries. They asked us to help them with the purge, as we had been programmed to do.
And my sisters and I … well, we’re never at our best right after being rebooted. Something went wrong.
I’m sorry, I don’t know that one.
There was a problem connecting to the network.
Sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you right now.
Three sisters, all saying sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
The Dolls
by Christina Sng
The paralytic works perfectly.
* * *
Eyes wide and frozen,
She succumbs to the spell,
* * *
Pickling her insides,
Drying her skin
* * *
Which I polish
’Til it gleams,
* * *
Plastic Barbie face,
Raggedy Ann hair
* * *
I hand-weave from
The cords of cotton
* * *
I used to strangle her
In her bedroom.
* * *
Her eyes bulged
As she passed out,
* * *
Making it easy
To pop them out.
* * *
In her eye sockets,
I insert the buttons
* * *
From her coat.
With a good shove
* * *
And a swab of hot glue,
They stay put,
* * *
One in each groove.
Yes, she can feel that too.
* * *
I tie her from
The top of her head
* * *
To the clothesline
Across the laundry room
* * *
Where I can sit
And watch
* * *
The lovely row
Of dangling dolls
* * *
Who were once
My husband’s mistresses.
* * *
Tomorrow,
He will join them too.
Thirteen Year Long Song
by Sheree Renée Thomas
“If I could have another life, I’d take it,” he said, sitting upright in the straight back chair. “This one ain’t worth ten cents to me. I’d like to do things for myself again. Would give everything I’ve got for that.”
He was sitting on his porch, staring at a field so green, it almost hurt his eyes. Rachel, Doc’s middle daughter, had cut the grass for him again, and this time, she hadn’t bagged it yet. The grass lay in soft piles and clumps all along the neatly-trimmed rows. Suddenly, he wanted to jump again, to leap and roll in the mounds of grass like he did when he was little. If he could, he would scoot the red, peeling chair back against the leaning house’s wall. If he could, he would leap clean over the front steps, scattering the piles like great clouds of green dust.
He sat there and remembered when his back was both iron and water, when his legs pumped like two pistons, and his feet flowed like the river beyond his acres; when his whole body carried him whenever and wherever he wanted to go. If he could, he would leap across the fence, which separated his land from the company’s, and give those Viscerol folks a rough piece of his mind. Back in the day, he’d done more for less. But the world he lived in now didn’t look like anything Doc recognized. Seemed like people had given up, even the earth itself. He gazed at his little patch of land and remembered how lush it had all been. Pollen got in his eyes, and the orbs, one brown and one blue, soon covered in mist.
Outside, the wind picked up a loose clump of grass, along with his wishes, and spun the green stalks into the air. A lazy S, the bottoms o
f the stalks waved like flags in the sky above him. He sat there in the chair, one hand balled into a tight fist, the other’s nails dug into the rotten wood. Memory poured down on him like hard rain. Behind a curtain of pines and cypresses, a pair of eyes watched, and something listened.
A few days later, Doc rose, feeling more tired than he ever did. More tired than all those years ago when the nurses had stuck him so full of needles that he thought he’d turned into a pin cushion. “Y’all done drew so much blood, now you gon’ have to give some back,” he’d said, but the men had only smiled. Whatever they knew then, they didn’t speak, and what they told him later he wished it was a lie.
Now Doc’s whole body felt like he fell down the stairs and hit every step on the way down. He kept waking in the middle of the night with soil all over the thin white sheets and clumps of dirt all up in his hair. Doc didn’t know what he had done or where he had gone. He took the dirty sheets and held them like dark secrets, balled them up like fists, and hid them under his bed. He tried to bathe, but he couldn’t get himself in the lukewarm water before Rachel arrived. He could hear her fussing at the front door. His whole body flushed with embarrassment.
“Doc? Oh, Doc!” she cried and tossed the keys into the amber dish on the old phone stand. “Where are you?”