by Cole, Fiona
My face flushed. Jesus. My mom had always been a force to be reckoned with when she wanted something. My dad had always said she would have been a great interrogator with how intuitive she was and how she applied the perfect amount of pressure to make you crack. I didn’t get away with much in high school.
“Mom,” I sighed.
“Don’t Mom me. You look like hell. When is the last time you shaved?”
I rubbed my hand along my beard. “You don’t like it.”
“You look like a hobo in your dirty shirt and sweats. You’re living like one too. Now stop trying to distract me and answer me.”
I continued to stare, trying to make myself believe I’d win. I never won against Mom.
“Fine.” I turned my back to her and dug deep to say the truth. Swallowed about four-hundred-and-seventeen times. Took four deep breaths.
“Jake Aaron Wellington.”
“The engagement is off,” I shouted, turning to face my mom, arms wide. Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes watered. Fuck. “I’m sorry, Mom. But…Carina and I aren’t getting married. We, uh, we broke up.”
“Are you okay?” She stepped close and patted my shoulders, dragging her hands down my arms and looking me over like I was physically harmed.
“Yeah. I’m…” Good wasn’t the correct word, and I didn’t want to admit to being a mess. “I’m okay.”
“Sit down,” she ordered as she began pulling soups and breads out of her paper bags. “Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Did Carina cheat?”
Silence. So much silence that was anything but silence. I bounced my leg and clasped my hands in my lap, refusing to look at her. One. Two. Three. Four. I got to ten before it clicked for her.
“Jake,” she breathed, her disappointment washing over me. My lungs hurt from trying to breathe through the lump building in my throat. “Who was she?” she asked, her voice hard as she sunk into her chair.
I tried to speak, but nothing came out. My eyes burned, and I wanted to crumble, hating myself for being so weak. Fuck, this was not who I was. “I—” I choked and had to sniff to hold back the tears.
“Baby.” She scooted closer and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. “Talk to me, Jake. What happened?” Her hands reached out to mine and the fear in her tone had me lifting my shaking chin. I felt like I was ten again, about to tell my mom I broke the window in the hall playing baseball. I was so damn scared she’d be mad at me, hate me, be disappointed that it had choked me, and I’d begun crying.
But I wasn’t ten. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to meet her eyes, even if it was touch and go. I gripped her hands in mine and held on, just in case it was the last time.
“It was Jackson.”
Her eyebrows scrunched down and her head cocked to the side. “Jackson?”
I couldn’t say anything. I bit my lip, holding my emotions in check, and did my best to not look away.
“Oh.” Her eyes widened a touch and she sat up, but she didn’t jerk her hands from mine. I took that as a good sign. “Oh,” she said again. Blinking rapidly, she licked her lips and stared at our hands. “How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long have you been interested in men? I’d like to know how long you’ve been hiding it from me.”
“What?”
“I’m your mother,” she said, sounding angrier than when she figured out I’d cheated. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you come to me before you ended up engaged to a woman you didn’t want to be with?”
“I did want to marry Carina. I love her. Just…not enough. She’s my friend, but she deserves more than that.”
“So do you.”
I shook my head, not believing her. I’d fucked up a lot this week.
“Don’t you shake your head at me. You’re my son, and my son deserves to be in love. No matter who it is.”
“Even if it’s a guy?” I asked hesitantly.
“Where the hell did you get it in your head that I would only want you happy if it was with a girl? When did you start thinking I was so closed-minded that I wouldn’t support you?”
“I—I—” I stuttered, not sure how to answer because I couldn’t recall any time she would have hinted at it. It just wasn’t a topic that came up. “You’ve always pushed Carina and I together, talked about our marriage.”
“That was in jest, Jake. You knew that.”
“But then Dad died, and he made me promise to take care of Carina, to carry on the name of the company and give you grandbabies to love. I promised.”
“Then adopt!” she exclaimed, like it was the most obvious answer. “We’re not in the middle ages where bloodlines are all that matter. Jake, look at me.” I lifted my chin and when it wasn’t enough, she gripped it in her palm and moved it to her satisfaction. “You are my son and if a man is what makes you happy, then so be it. You deserve it.”
“I’m not sure I deserve much after what I did to Carina,” I muttered, looking down again. She slapped my head and I jerked. It wasn’t hard, but enough to hurt. “Ouch.”
“Good. Because the same goes. Male or female, what you did to Carina was wrong and I hope she laid into you. I hope she got the opportunity to rip you apart. You don’t treat someone you love like that.”
“I know.”
“You faced her and told her to her face, right? Please don’t tell me you were a coward.”
“No, Mom. I faced her.”
“Good, because otherwise, I’d drag you down there and let her have a go.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
That earned me another slap, but this time I laughed.
“So, what now? Does Jackson love you? Or are you looking for another man?”
My hand smoothed over my face again, wanting to wipe this away from my mind. Talking about a man or woman didn’t make talking to your mom about partners any easier. “I don’t want anyone else. I—Fuck.”
“Language.”
“Sorry. I’m just confused. I’m not gay. I’m not looking for other men, but Jackson.” I paused and thought over my words, a smile stretching my cheeks. “Jackson is everything to me. Always has been. I’ve just been too scared to admit it.”
“Have you told him?”
“No.”
“Well, don’t be a baby. Tell him. Then invite him over and let me meet him officially. And tell him to bring his brother.”
And just like that, my mom accepted me, and I felt like a fool to ever doubt it. Having her on my side lifted a weight off my shoulders, like she was carrying it with me, making it lighter.
“I’m still pissed at you for hurting Carina, but I love you no matter what and just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“So, will there be a wedding? It’s very common nowadays. A very modern thing to do.”
“Mom.”
“What?” she asked innocently. “I want to plan a wedding. Ooo! When will you adopt? Can it be soon?”
I shook my head at all her questions but smiled through it all as we ate lunch. Soon she was on her way again. With a kiss to my cheek, an I love you, and an order to shave, she was gone.
I leaned back against the door and looked over the mess my apartment was. I’d clean the apartment and myself, then I’d get a good night’s sleep and go see Jackson tomorrow. I was sure he worked late tonight, and I wanted all day with him.
I said it again, just to taste the joy of the words on my lips. “I’m in love with Jackson.”
29
Jackson
“Open the door, Wellington,” I shouted at the door. I’d already knocked at a normal level, and when that didn’t work, I resorted to banging and shouting.
Which was bound to wake someone up, I just hoped it was Jake before his neighbors. I doubted they would be too kind to a stranger making noise at two in the morning.
Five days. I’d given him five days and he’d gotten quieter and quieter with each day that passed. Today, I gave him space thinking that would m
ake him reach out to me, but he remained silent and I stewed over that all through work, my blood pressure rising until I was sure I was going to burst. I’d struggled through the last few hours of work before I raced over here deciding he’d had enough time to decide.
I banged again. “Open up!”
“I’m fucking coming,” I heard muffled from the other side of the door just before it opened to reveal a groggy and bed rumpled looking Jake. He looked tired, rough, and beautiful.
“Jesus, Jackson. It’s two in the morning.”
I stood there, taking him in. Letting my eyes make the path I wanted my hands to go. I wanted to grip his jaw and hold him in place as I tasted from his lips. I wanted them to linger and stroke down each bump of his chest and abs until they reached the waistband of his sweatpants hanging precariously on his hips. I wanted to take it all in, just in case he turned me away and I never got another chance.
Not wanting to do this in his hallway, I pushed past him and paced his living room until I heard the click of the lock before I turned to face him.
My pulse thundered, and my heart raced like a freight train. I swallowed, trying to bring enough moisture to my mouth to get all the words out. I’d thought of what I wanted to say all night, and now that I was there, my mind was empty as though the panic had created a vacuum in my brain. I finally let my eyes rest on his and everything calmed enough for me to think again. And once the first word broke free, the rest came pouring after it.
“I’m done waiting. I’m done. I’ve given you five days and I can’t take it. Not a hint of what our future holds. You know how impatient I am. I love you and I want to be with you.” He opened his mouth, but I held up my hand, speaking over him. I wasn’t going to be stopped until I was done. “Carina told me the engagement is broken off, so you either want me or you don’t. I wanted to be your friend, but you shot down my offer, so it’s all or nothing.” I took a few steps, closing the gap between us until I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to. “And Jake, I want it all. But I can’t wait forever.”
I paused, and the room was silent. He took two steps closer to me, almost completely closing the space between us. I held my breath and waited, but he didn’t say anything, just continued to scan my face. I wanted to tug his bottom lip from between his teeth and soften the dip between his brows with my thumb. I just wanted to touch him.
“Fuck, Jake.” I wanted to put my frustration behind it, but my voice cracked with desperation. “If you don’t want me then just cut me free. I can’t ke—”
“I love you,” he said over me, stealing the breath from my body.
I blinked, thinking maybe it was all a dream. I was actually at home sleeping and dreaming about this scenario.
“What?” I whispered.
His face softened and the lips I loved so much, tipped on each side bringing the smile lines in his cheeks. “I love you,” he said slower, his voice a deep rumble of sincerity.
Jake Wellington loved me.
My best friend loved me.
My best friend was smiling at me and telling me he loved me.
My lungs squeezed, and my breath whooshed out of me on a laugh.
Then I attacked. I gripped his face in my hands and pulled him to me, clashing my lips to his. We became a mess of teeth, tongues, and hands.
I laughed between kisses, muttering, “Holy shit.” Kiss. “Holy shit.”
We pressed into each other, groaning at the contact.
“I was coming for you,” he said against my lips. “I was going to go to you tomorrow and lay it all out there. But here you are, at my place at two in the morning, telling me you love me, kissing me like that. Pressing that delicious cock against mine.” He thrust his hips for emphasis, and I wanted to drop to my knees and suck him down my throat.
“Jake,” I groaned.
“I wanted to talk to you, but we can talk tomorrow. I want to be with you tonight. No ties. No guilt. Just us.”
“Yes.”
His hands dove into my hair and yanked my head back, pulling a grunt from me. He kissed and bit his way down my neck before he worked back up and tasted me again. “Love controlling you,” he whispered into my mouth.
I chuckled because he was challenging me, and I never backed down. It’d been a while since I’d been in such a dominating relationship and fighting with Jake was everything I dreamed of. Constantly pushing the limits, using our strength, the strain of muscles and exerting power over each other was what I loved about being with a man.
I held on tight as I walked him back, slamming him against a wall, using my hips to hold him in place, rolling them back and forth torturing us both. Then, my hand gripped his jaw, turning his mouth how I wanted it before sliding further down to hold at his neck.
“I’m going to love hearing you groan my name and begging me to let you come.”
“Fuck you.”
I squeezed around his throat. “Maybe if you’re a good boy.”
His eyes became heavy lidded and I couldn’t wait to feel him press inside me. But then his hands came up to wrap around my wrists and gently tugged. I released my grip and let him move my hands where he needed them. He dragged them down his chest and around his hips, into his pants, until he pushed them to grip his ass.
I obliged and squeezed the firm muscles hard. He thrust forward, letting his eyes slide closed. But his hand still held mine and he tugged them further, pressing our fingers between his cheeks. I held my breath and took control, nudging his tight asshole, swirling my finger around, wanting to press inside.
“I—I,” he stuttered and then swallowed. “I want you to make love to me.”
“Of course, Jake,” I said kissing up and down his neck. “All night long.”
“No.” His hard tone had me pulling back and searching his face. His eyes were still closed, and he was pushing back on my finger. “I want you to make love to me. I want you to fuck me.”
My head fell forward onto his shoulder and I squeezed his ass again, groaning at the invitation. My cock jerked against my pants and I had to take deep breaths, clenching my muscles to hold me back from ripping his pants off and pushing inside him before he could take it back.
“Are you sure?”
“God, yes.” He laughed.
“Have you ever tried anything before?”
“No. Anything that’s happened to my ass, was with you.”
I growled and bit down on his shoulder, as I gripped his firm ass and roughly pulled him into me.
“I’m not gonna be able to be gentle, so I hope you have lube. I’ve wanted to fuck you for too long.”
His hand in my hair again, he tugged back with a smirk on his face. “Good.”
I ripped his pants down his legs and pulled him off the wall, turning until he faced the arm of the couch before shoving him in half. I fell to my knees behind him and stroked my hands up and down his thighs, the firm muscles flexing with each touch. I dipped lower and tugged his balls back to my mouth, so I could suck on them. They popped out when he grunted and thrust forward.
I gripped his cheeks and spread, exposing the tight virgin hole I’d fuck tonight. Wanting him on edge, I leaned in and dragged my tongue from his perineum up to his opening and flicked back and forth. I used my saliva as lubricant and when he was wet enough, I pushed a finger deep inside him, desperate to feel his warmth around any part of me.
He grunted at the sharp intrusion but wasted no time pushing back on my finger.
“Yes, fuck yourself on me. Show me you want it.”
After only a few thrusts, I pulled out and licked at him again before quickly shoving two fingers inside, going straight for his prostate and massaging it hard. A mixture of a grunt and whimper escaped him.
“Like that?” I asked laughing, working my fingers in and out of him.
“Fuck you,” he moaned into the couch cushions.
I removed my fingers and slapped his cheek, loving the crack of my hand on his skin.
“We’re going
to the bedroom. I need space to fuck you properly.”
He left his pants behind and walked backwards, stroking himself as he watched me strip out of my clothes. The bedroom was dark when we walked in, but Jake moved to the nightstand to flick on a lamp and grab a bottle from the drawer. He tossed the lube on the bed and stared at me.
“How do you want me?” His voice was hard, but I could hear the nerves behind it.
“Lay on your back. I want to watch you as I pop your cherry.”
He laid back, still stroking his length. I climbed up and dove down to flick my tongue along the slit of his cock, collecting the salty pre-cum.
“Oh, fuck. Yes.”
He kept stroking slowly and I grabbed the lube, keeping my lips around the head of his cock, swirling my tongue, rolling it along the back just under the mushroom. He thrust up hard into my mouth when my lubed fingers slipped between his cheeks. I didn’t waste time with warming him up. I pushed two fingers into his ass and loved the long groan he released, frantically pushing down on my fingers and up into my mouth.
When he was on the edge of panting, I stopped my torture and climbed to my knees, pushing his thighs into his chest and spreading him wide. A groan rumbled out of my chest at seeing all of him exposed to me, like an amusement park where I wanted to play with everything. “You need me to take my time with you? Be gentle?”
His lips curled, laughing at my taunt. “Fuck. Me.”
Before he could finish, I began working the head of my cock into him. I watched his reaction because as much as I wanted to unleash all my pent-up need on him, I didn’t want to hurt him either.
His teeth sunk into his bottom lip and his hands fisted around my wrists holding his legs back. I didn’t stop. I sunk all the way in until my balls pressed to his ass.
