Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel

by Courtney Walsh

  “But you don’t know that,” she said through her tears.

  With his thumbs, he wiped her cheeks dry, then continued to hold her face in his hands. “Maybe not, but I believe it. I believe he’s going to be fine. He’s going to come through this stronger and better for it. God’s got big plans for him, Carly. I know you know that.”

  She closed her eyes and nodded.

  “Right?”

  “Right.” She opened her eyes to find him still looking at her.

  “So, we’ll cling to that.”

  Josh stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her, and for the briefest moment she let herself be held.

  19

  What was he doing? He might as well plunge a knife into his own chest.

  He told God (repeatedly) he did not want to go to Carly’s house that morning and pray for Jaden. The thought had popped into his head around two, and he’d tried to push it away. Josh Dixon didn’t pray. That’s what Carly would be thinking. And she would’ve been right once upon a time.

  But now? Praying had become second nature. Because if he didn’t pray, he couldn’t keep his promise.

  Besides, his regret had kept him paralyzed for years—he would’ve tried anything to bury it. Instead—and largely thanks to his teenage son—he was trying to forgive himself.

  Jaden talked about God like they were old friends. He was different than most religious people Josh knew. He wasn’t preachy or judgmental, and while Jaden didn’t know everything about his father’s past, he knew Josh had made mistakes. Obviously.

  One time, Josh had asked his son how he ever found it possible to forgive him, and Jaden said, “God’s forgiven me for my sins. We all deserve a second chance.”

  Jaden would never know how those words had burrowed in, down to a deep place in Josh’s soul. They felt like the answer to prayers he didn’t know he’d been praying.

  Then there was the church thing. Josh never went. His parents had gone out of obligation and mostly to be seen—they were, after all, the picture of a perfect family—but Josh had only ever viewed church as a place where he would be judged and not accepted.

  And he’d been right back in the day. He’d sit by his parents trying not to lean his bruised back against the wooden pew, aware of the side glances and death glares from the good, upright folks of Harbor Pointe.

  He didn’t belong here—that’s what they were thinking.

  He was a disgrace to his family with his late-night drinking, the constant trouble he got into at school.

  When he stopped doing everything his parents told him to do, church was the first thing he abandoned.

  But one Sunday morning after a weekend with Josh, Jaden had woken his dad up with the announcement that he’d found them a church to try. The night of the conference had been impactful, but the kid knew Josh needed something consistent in his life.

  Wise beyond his years, Josh thought.

  “It’s not going to be the answer for everything,” Jaden said. “I mean, people screw up all the time. But there’s a lot of good stuff about being in a good church.”

  Josh did his best not to groan; after all, he was still trying to win his son over.

  So he went. And he’d gone every week since. And in that time, he’d started praying—not because he was so holy and religious now—but because it filled him up in ways that nothing else ever had.

  He felt silly discussing God with Jaden, who had a lot more knowledge on the subject, but his son never made him feel stupid.

  It had taken months, but he’d begun to recognize when God was prodding him to do something. And last night, God wasn’t being quiet. He heard it loud and clear—go and pray for him.

  Maybe it was less about what he was going to say in that prayer and more about his willingness to do it. He knew if he ignored that quiet voice, he’d regret it. So he showed up at Carly’s under the guise of coffee and muffins.

  But the second he saw Jaden, he understood.

  This wasn’t about him. It wasn’t even about Carly—not really. This was about his son. This was about being a father to his son. And that was the only thing that mattered. Not how foolish it felt with so many mistakes flashing red in his rearview mirror. Not how nervous he’d been to ask Jaden in front of Carly if he could pray for him. And certainly not the inexplicable, undeniable bond that had been created among the three of them the second he did.

  Had Carly felt it too? Had Jaden? He may have come to Harbor Pointe to be there for Jaden, but it hadn’t taken long for a bigger desire to take hold.

  And Quinn was right—he didn’t deserve a second chance. His actions had brought Carly to her breaking point all those years ago. How did he make up for that?

  But it was different now. He was different now. He wasn’t sure how to return to Chicago and go on living the life he’d built. He wasn’t sure how to go on living a life Carly and Jaden weren’t a part of every single day.

  He wanted—needed—to put his broken family back together.

  Now, as he stood in the elevator at the hospital, he took note of the quiver in his belly. The way his nerves darted around. He inhaled a deep breath and exhaled a quiet prayer.

  Please let him be okay.

  Because for all his talk, he needed the same reassurance he’d given Carly only an hour before.

  Josh exited the elevator and saw Dr. Willette standing at a counter, looking over paperwork in a folder. The man had been a good doctor, answering all of his questions and keeping his tone professional. But the knot in Josh’s belly when he saw him had nothing to do with his skill as an M.D. He’d been genetically programmed to dislike the man who was dating the mother of his child. He couldn’t help it.

  He exhaled another prayer and moved down the hall, hoping the doctor didn’t notice him.

  “Josh?”

  No such luck.

  He turned around and faced Dr. Willette. Carly had sent Josh a text to tell him where they were, and frankly, he just wanted to get there. “Morning, Doc.”

  “Good morning. I’ve just seen Carly and Jaden,” the doctor said. “Both seem to be doing pretty well.”

  Josh’s lips twitched. “Yeah, I thought the same thing when I left Carly’s house this morning.”

  Dr. Willette’s eyebrow quirked, but Josh didn’t bother explaining. It wasn’t like he owed the guy an explanation. And fine, he wanted to one-up the guy.

  “Okay, well, I’ll let you get to it,” Dr. Willette said. “I’ll stop by with updates as I get them.”

  Josh nodded, walked down the hall and pushed open the door to Jaden’s room. He found Jaden on the bed under a thin sheet, wearing a hospital gown. Carly sat in a chair near the window, looking like she could come undone at any minute.

  He took a step into the room. “Did they say when they’d be back to get you?”

  “Soon. They asked a bunch of questions, made sure I understood what was happening, made me pee in a cup. Good times.” Jaden sort of shrugged.

  The door opened and two nurses walked in. “It’s just about time to take you back,” the male nurse said to Jaden. “Any last-minute questions?”

  Josh glanced at Carly, who was sitting at full attention, then at Jaden, whose eyes had fallen. His son had plastered his brave face on, but now, looking at him in that hospital bed, Josh was certain this was what he’d looked like as a boy. Vulnerable. Shy. Scared.

  Carly must’ve seen it too. She stood and moved to the side of the bed, putting a hand on their son’s shoulder. Jaden looked up at her and said, “You sure we can’t back out?”

  Something squeezed Josh’s heart, and he swallowed the lump at the back of his throat. Tears filled Carly’s eyes as she sat down on the bed and took Jaden’s hand. “Remember what your dad said this morning. This is a good thing.”

  Jaden nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

  “This part totally stinks, but this is what we have to do to get you healthy, to get you skiing again. It’s a little speed bump, that’s all.”

&nbs
p; If she had any doubt about what she was saying, Josh couldn’t tell. He wouldn’t say so, but he had doubts—worries, concerns. Mostly about the skiing. How many elite athletes could compete at such a high level with Jaden’s condition? Were they all fooling themselves with their blind faith?

  “I’m still a little nervous,” Jaden said.

  The male nurse took a step toward them. “We’ve got something we call ‘happy juice’ to put in your IV. That is going to calm your nerves and make you feel a lot more relaxed.” He held up a plastic package that had some sort of syringe in it, then got to work administering it to Jaden.

  Within seconds, the kid was completely at ease. Whatever the nurse had given Jaden, it had done the trick.

  Josh wondered if he could get a dose of that for himself.

  “Feel better?”

  Jaden smiled. “I’m feeling good, Rick.”

  The nurse frowned. “My name’s Tom.”

  Carly laughed as a tear slid down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. Josh resisted the urge to take her hand.

  “Ready to go?” Tom asked Jaden.

  Carly reached out and covered Jaden’s hand with her own. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

  Jaden nodded, then looked at Josh. “You’ll be here too?”

  Josh took a step forward. “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Promise?”

  Josh took Jaden’s other hand. “Promise.”

  Jaden nodded, then spun his finger around in a circular motion. “Fine. Let’s do it already.”

  Tom nodded to the other nurse, and the two of them swooped in, moved a few things around on the bed, then rolled him out of the room and down the hall, leaving Josh and Carly standing, alone.

  Carly turned away, wrapped her arms around herself and let out a quiet sob. Josh moved toward her but stopped short.

  “Carly—”

  The door opened again and Dr. Willette, with his awesome timing, walked in. “Came to check on you both and show you to the waiting room.”

  Josh had a feeling this wasn’t something the doctor typically did. It was more likely that a nurse handled this part, but then Carly wasn’t the typical patient’s mother, was she?

  The doctor strode across the room to Carly, as if Josh wasn’t standing a few feet away. He stood in front of her, and she looked up at him. Josh couldn’t see her face, but the doctor smiled warmly. “He’s going to be fine.” He spoke in a hushed tone. “Jaden is going to be just fine, and Dr. Roby is the best.”

  Carly nodded.

  Another smile from the doctor. “Why don’t I get you both some coffee and show you to the waiting room? You’ll get regular updates on your pager.”

  Carly glanced down at the device in her hand. It looked like a restaurant pager, but it would be their connection to Jaden while he was in surgery.

  Finally, she tossed a look in Josh’s direction. He held her gaze, wondering if she was thinking of the way he’d held her that very morning, wondering if it was his arms she sought comfort in.

  But no. That moment between them had passed, and Carly had gone back to despising him.

  She looked away, back toward the doctor, who led her out of the room. Josh drew in a deep breath. It was going to be a very long day.

  20

  About half an hour after they took Jaden back, Carly’s family showed up in the waiting room. It wasn’t the first time they’d been in the hospital for Jaden—in a way, they all fussed over him as if he were their own.

  The television quietly played a Golden Girls rerun, and the tension of not knowing anything had dissipated. They watched the pager with quiet intensity, until it finally beeped to inform them Jaden had been fully prepped and was heading into surgery soon.

  “I thought he was already prepped,” Quinn had said.

  “I guess he was sort of pre-prepped,” Carly explained. “There are more things to do once they take him back—give him anesthesia, insert the catheter, that sort of thing.”

  Quinn nodded and pulled a deck of cards from her bag. “Euchre?”

  Carly shook her head briefly. “Not for me, thanks.”

  Quinn tucked the cards back in her purse. “Wedding planning?”

  Carly smiled at her little sister. “That sounds like a good way to pass the time.”

  Grady slid into the seat next to Quinn, eyes focused on Carly. “How you holding up?”

  She nodded.

  “He’s been pretty upset lately,” Grady said. “All this talk of not skiing.”

  “His doctor said he’s done,” Carly said.

  “Jaden doesn’t think so,” Grady said. “He’s been reading all these articles about athletes with those implantable devices. He’s convinced he’s coming back.”

  Carly wasn’t surprised. And she was both terrified and proud at the thought. Her kid was no quitter. And yet, what if Dr. Roby was right?

  She told Quinn and Grady about Elizabeth Maney. She’d already decided if the swimmer didn’t email her back this week, she’d email again. Or find another athlete with Long QT. Elizabeth and Jaden couldn’t be the only ones.

  “I think it’s smart to get another opinion,” Quinn said. “You don’t want to count him out if you don’t have to.”

  “Yeah, even though the new ski coach has.”

  Quinn jabbed Grady in the side.

  “What did you say?” Carly asked.

  “It’s nothing,” Quinn said.

  “Obviously it’s not nothing.”

  Her little sister sighed. “It’s not something to be thinking about today.” An annoyed look at her fiancé.

  Grady’s face apologized.

  “Now you have to tell me.”

  “They interviewed the coach,” Grady said.

  “Who did?”

  “The newspaper, Carly. It was dumb. Not even worth reading. And I counted three typos on the same page,” Quinn said.

  “Great.” Carly took out her phone and searched for the Harbor Pointe Gazette. Right there on the front page was a bold headline: Heart Condition Sidelines Harbor Pointe Ski Phenom. “This is just what he needs.”

  “Don’t count him out,” Grady said. “Josh and I have both been reading about this. I think maybe your doctor is a little senile.”

  She shook her head, annoyed that everyone was discussing her son’s health. Or maybe that she would soon be faced with a choice: take Dr. Roby at his word or find another doctor and say goodbye to that promotion.

  The elevator ding drew their attention and Jim and Gloria Dixon strode out.

  Over the years, Carly’s family had grown and changed, but her dad, Beverly and Quinn had been a constant.

  A little less constant had been Josh’s side of the family.

  Carly’s eyes darted to Josh, who sat in a heap across the room. He straightened at the sight of his parents, and the surprised look on his face brought back decades-old memories of the boy she’d wanted so badly to protect all those years ago.

  The Dixon family sure had everyone fooled. If she hadn’t seen the cigarette burns on the bottoms of Josh’s feet or the bruises across his back, she might never have believed anything other than perfection went on in that house.

  But she had seen. And she did know. And whenever Josh knocked on the back door, she walked him out to the shed and made sure he was okay.

  He made her promise to never tell.

  She knew now that some promises weren’t meant to be kept.

  As he got older, his stays in the shed grew more frequent. He never said much about what triggered his father or even what horrors he saw at home.

  He never said much of anything.

  And then one night, in middle school, he showed up more spooked than usual.

  Carly fetched a clean blanket and pillow from the spare room and met him in the shed. She turned on the flashlight they’d stashed in one of the buckets and Josh quickly turned away.

  “Josh—”

  Carly rarely asked questions. She knew better.
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  But he sat in a ball in the corner, shivering and trying not to cry, and one question raced through her mind—what happened to you?

  Finally, he looked up, holding on to her gaze as if it was the only thing giving him life. “I couldn’t protect her.”

  Carly’s skin turned cold, but she said nothing.

  “It’s all my fault. Dylan. My mom. What else am I going to ruin?”

  Carly stilled at the mention of his brother’s name. Josh never brought up Dylan—ever. All Carly knew was that Josh had a brother who’d died before they moved to Harbor Pointe, but the information stopped there.

  “I tried. I tried to get him to come after me this time. I thought I could take him—I’ve been working out. I’ve gotten stronger.” Josh stopped trying to stifle his sobs, pulling his legs up to his chest and burying his face in his knees.

  Carly knelt down beside him.

  “She told me to run, and I did.” He cried softly. “I left her.”

  Carly’s mind spun. She’d never known anyone in this situation before. Her home life was far from perfect, but nobody had ever struck her. Even when her father lost his temper, he wouldn’t have dreamed of doing something like this.

  “I should’ve stayed.”

  Carly slowly pulled him close. He sank into her and cried, staining her pajama top with tears.

  Moments later, he pulled away and looked at her, eyes fierce. “You can’t tell anyone, Carly. No one can know about this.”

  Carly didn’t want to make that promise. Josh and his mom were in danger—shouldn’t someone step in and help them?

  “She won’t leave him, and if he knows I told anyone, it’ll just get worse for her, for both of us.”

  “How do you know she won’t leave?”

  “I asked her last week,” Josh said. “I begged her to get out of there. She said she could never leave him, no matter what.”

  “But it’s not safe,” Carly said.

  Josh gently wiped his cheeks dry with the sleeve of his jacket.

  “Our life would be so much better if he was gone,” Josh said.