Forgiveness and Permission

by C. L. Stone

  I scrambled to get my gun, stepping up behind Silas, my stomach to his back, as I aimed over his shoulder at Nathan’s face.

  “Fucking shit,” Nathan said breathlessly. “She even cheats at water guns.”

  “Yup,” Silas called out proudly. “Get him, aggele mou.”

  I pumped my gun and sprayed down Nathan with a long stream, starting from his stomach and ending at his face.

  Nathan laughed, stretching to try to pull his arms out from under Silas.

  “Thank you, Silas,” I said to him, touching lightly at the back of his neck.

  “Oy, Trouble!”

  It was the only warning I got before Gabriel shot across the yard, aiming his water gun at me. Luke was running behind him, firing, but his gun was out of water.

  I laughed, running away from Silas as he was letting Nathan up off the ground.

  “Meanie!” I called after Gabriel as I dashed across the yard, heading toward the driveway, thinking I might be able to cut through the basketball game. Maybe I could use Kota as a shield. Gabriel wouldn’t dare shoot Kota.

  I turned around as a gray BMW pulled into the driveway, parking in the middle of it to give room to those playing basketball. A thrill swept over me. Victor had left early to go to do some work for the Academy. I’d thought he was going to be gone all day but was glad that he was back early.

  His car also gave me perfect cover.

  I ran right for the car, the plan formulating in my mind. Gabriel hollered after me, but I was flying ahead of him. I had a clean head start.

  Prompted by a deep instinct telling me that I could, I ran for the front of the car. I jumped, pushing my body up to vault myself over the front. My butt heated against the hood as I slid across. I landed like a cat on my feet on the other side. I crouched, pressing my back against the wheel as I pumped the pink water gun.

  The Terminator couldn’t have done it any better.

  The car door opened, followed by footsteps coming around the car. I waited only a moment. Not that I would squirt Victor too much. Just a small spritz to welcome him back.

  I caught the shadow coming around the edge of the car, I turned, propping myself up a little as I aimed at a red tie and fired.

  And I fell back on my butt, when my gaze met with cool, steel-gray eyes.

  I dropped my gun to catch myself with my hands before I fell back too far. The gun clattered to the ground.

  Mr. Blackbourne finished stepping around the corner of the car, a brown eyebrow shooting up over the rim of his glasses. The dark suit coat he wore was open, revealing the white shirt, probably Armani or Gucci. A wet splotch of water spread across his chest, center mass. “You should know who you’re aiming at before you fire, Miss Sorenson,” he said, as calmly as if he were explaining a math problem to me.

  My heart raced. I just iced down the only person I knew who, with just a look, could send me to my knees.

  “S–s-sorry,” I said, not feeling so confident now.

  Mr. Blackbourne stretched out a hand to me, which surprised me enough to make me hesitate. He’d never done that before. I lifted mine, dropping it in his. His smooth, perfect fingers wrapped around mine as he assisted me to a standing position. When I was on my feet, I was inches away from him.

  “Remind me to have you trained in gunmanship,” he said. The tight corners of his mouth moving up a millimeter.

  I released the breath I felt I’d been holding that whole time. I didn’t think I wanted to make him angry.

  From behind him, the other members of the Academy collected: Silas, Luke, North, Nathan, Kota and Gabriel. North held the basketball to his hip. The others stood by, waiting. Derrick had fallen back, standing under the goal, his arms crossed over his chest.

  Mr. Blackbourne’s eyes remained on me as he spoke. “I came over because I tried to reach certain members of my team by phone. Apparently, they’re all ... distracted.” The millimeter smile disappeared as he turned toward the guys. “And I can see why.”

  “Sorry,” Kota said. He flicked the sweat from his brow. “I didn’t realize.”

  The others murmured similar apologizes.

  “We don’t have time for that,” Mr. Blackbourne said, turning toward his car. “Kota, Luke, Nathan, in the car with me. North, Silas, Gabriel, follow. We’ve got work to do.”

  “What about Sang?” Gabriel asked, dropping his water gun to the ground. Playtime was over.

  “She doesn’t work for me. Let’s go,” Mr. Blackbourne moved around the car again, heading toward the driver’s seat. Was this Mr. Blackbourne’s car that looked identical to Victor’s? Or was he driving Victor’s car? Where was Victor? And why were they all leaving now?

  I bit back the questions. I knew better. Academy business was secret. I wasn’t a part of it.

  Kota, Luke and Nathan found their shoes and shirts quickly and raced toward the car. Mr. Blackbourne pulled the car out of the drive as soon as the doors closed and was down the road again.

  I collected the dropped water guns and headed toward the garage. Silas and Gabriel were collecting their phones they had left on the ground. North was shuffling a shirt the right way to drop it over his head. “Derrick, do me a favor?”

  Derrick had collected the basketball and was taking random shots alone at the goal. “What?”

  “Stay with Sang? Until one of us can get back?”

  “I’m fine,” I said. I thought I was. My mother wasn’t there with any more crazy punishments for me. My father wasn’t there. There was no one left to do any harm.

  “Humor me, Sang Baby.” North eyeballed Derrick. “Please?”

  “I guess so. Whatever,” Derrick said, shrugging and looking at me.

  North frowned but nodded. He waved to me as he stalked off, following Gabriel and Silas to North’s black Jeep that he had parked at Kota’s house. They rushed over to it, getting in. The Jeep started up and disappeared down the road, too.

  THE OTHER FRIENDS

  And that was it. They were gone. I stared down the road where I last saw the Jeep disappear around the bend. It was like I was waiting for one for one of them to come back. Just kidding, Sang. Of course, I can stay with you and not leave you alone. One of them. Any of them.

  But no. They were really gone. Academy business.

  Derrick bounced the ball around himself, taking a shot at the basket. “They’re always so weird.”

  I turned on him, my mouth opened and ready to fly to their defense. My tongue stilled as I got caught up watching as Derrick chased the ball and brought it back, lifting it over his head backward as he ran out of the garage and it swished into the basket overhead.

  “How long have you known them?” It wasn’t a challenge, but genuine curiosity. Derrick lived on this street before me, and he’d known Kota and Nathan at least for a few years. He didn’t flinch when Mr. Blackbourne showed up.

  “I don’t know,” Derrick said. “I went to elementary school with half of them until they started going to that private school.” He pushed some of the lower locks of his bowl haircut away from his forehead, stopping the sweat from dripping into his eyes.

  “They’re pretty nice,” I said

  “Uh huh. Nice. Too nice. That’s how they get you. They want you to hang out. They ask you to come over and help with a small favor. The next thing you know it’s a big favor.”

  Kota had told me once they’d tried to bring in another member into the team. “Did they try to ... to ...?”

  “To recruit me?” Derrick smirked, holding the ball at his hip. “Yes.”

  “And you didn’t want to join,” I said.

  “No,” he said. “I didn’t want to work that hard. That’s all they do. You’ve just seen it. It’s an early Saturday morning. They’re off to do something. They’re always working. It’s been like that since we were little. Maybe it’s swiping Gabriel’s dad’s booze so he wouldn’t drink that night. Or taking the grade book from the teacher’s desk to change up the numbers when a teacher was unforgiving
to some poor kid who was out sick the week before. Maybe it’s stealing apples from the school cafeteria for the diabetic twins who were starving. They were always doing something then, and they’re always up to something now.”

  “They did that? They stole?” I stepped a little closer to him. I wanted to make sure I caught every word.

  “Luke did,” he said. “Luke could steal the pencil from your closed hand and be out the door before you knew it was gone. The others helped him. They started that in kindergarten. Only back then, Victor gave them the plan, and Kota was the lookout. Gabriel distracted the teachers while Luke swooped in and stole. Nathan covered their tracks.”

  “That was before they went to the private school?”

  “The Academy? Yeah. That was before. Just the five of them. Then that Mr. Blackbourne caught them breaking into the principal’s office one day and that was it. The next week they were all out of public school.” He dropped the basketball, letting it roll toward the garage. “Want to go jump on the trampoline?”

  I didn’t really. I wanted to ask more about the boys. Could they be thieves? Is that what they were now? Mr. Blackbourne, who couldn’t have been much older than them at the time, swooped in and took them out of school. The Academy got kids to steal for them? It didn’t seem likely but Derrick appeared to be convinced.

  Prodding him for more information felt rude. I nodded slowly, following him around the corner of the back of the house, beyond the screened in porch. Micah and Tom sat together on the trampoline talking to themselves.

  Micah turned his head to us, his blond hair cut evenly around his head at his shoulders. “What?”

  “What do you mean what?” Derrick said. “We want a turn.”

  “I’m tired. I don’t want to move,” Micah complained, laying back on the black mat of the trampoline.

  “Then get off and let us go.” Derrick climbed up on the metal bar frame, hoisting himself up until he stumbled out onto the mat. He tested the springs, bouncing low and moving across to where Micah laid. He curled up, protecting himself by covering his head with his arms as Derrick jumped, bouncing hard next to him.

  “Stop,” Micah grumbled.

  “You getting on?” Tom asked me. His thin, deeply tanned body shone with sweat. Short, curly locks of hair stuck against his head. He was small for his age, like Micah. I could have mistaken them for being eight or nine instead of twelve if I didn’t know better.

  “I guess so,” I said, eyeballing the metal. I was wondering if it was hot to touch.

  “Come on,” Derrick said. He bounce-walked back in my direction, holding a hand out. I reached out to him. Derrick used both hands to grip mine. I put a foot on the bar and he hoisted me up.

  I hovered on the black mat, warmed by the morning sun. I walked unstable toward the middle, keeping my distance from the others so I wouldn’t hurt them.

  Tom got up, launching his body into the air and slamming down against the mat. It was a chain reaction. I started bouncing, slowly and unstable enough that I thought I would fall. I thought the only way to stay upright was to keep bouncing on my feet. Derrick started bouncing harder.

  Micah groaned, picking himself up. Soon we were moving in a circle, facing off. Bouncing around.

  “Back up for a minute,” Derrick said, holding his hand up toward me but talking to all of us. “I want to try something.”

  I moved to the edge of the mat, falling to my knees, putting my hands down to hold myself up. Tom fell next to me, grinning and his breath heavy. I smiled. I liked Tom.

  Micah jumped in the way a few times until Derrick barked at him to stop. He fell on his butt on the other side. “Hurry up,” he said.

  Derrick bounced hard in the middle a few times, getting higher. I wondered if he was just trying to test out how high he could bounce. I gripped the edge of the mat to not roll into the middle.

  Derrick dropped down hard onto the trampoline, launched himself in the air and did a full frontal flip, landing on his knees.

  “Yay!” I called out and my voice squeaked a little. I was fully impressed and somewhat jealous.

  Tom put fingers in his mouth to whistle, and scrambled to his feet, bounding. “Let me do it.”

  Derrick backed off to another side of the trampoline and Tom bounced, though he couldn’t get as high up as Derrick. Tom launched himself, started to twist but stopped halfway, landing on his side.

  We all giggled at him.

  “You have to keep going,” Derrick said.

  “I wasn’t going to make it,” Tom said, getting back up on his feet. “I was going to land on my neck.”

  “I want to try,” I said.

  “You can’t do it,” Micah said. “You’ll break something.”

  “Will you shut up and let her try?” Derrick asked. “It’s her trampoline.”

  Micah made a face, and grumbled something I couldn’t hear.

  I stepped up, unsure of how to proceed. “How did you do it?” I asked Derrick.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “Just bounce really hard and do a tumble roll or something.”

  I sucked in some bravery from the air, thinking of the time Silas and North and the others took turns flipping me in Nathan’s pool. It was much easier to flip when Silas was pushing on my feet to get me started.

  I moved to the middle of the mat, my knees shaking thanks to the unstableness. I started bouncing, putting my weight into it to try to get higher. I wasn’t sure how high I had to be to try to flip.

  “Just try to get around until you can get back on your knees,” Derrick suggested. “If you get scared, try to land on your butt.”

  I bounced higher, sucked in a breath, squealed and pushed my front forward on an upward jump, curling into a ball. I broke out when I felt myself going down. I landed on my knees, skidding on the left one a little. It was a messy front flip. I bounced sideways, in a ricochet, ending up on my back.

  Derrick and Tom laughed. Micah rolled his eyes.

  “That’s hard,” I said, sprawled out on my back.

  Micah did, too, looking up at the sky.

  Derrick and Tom started bouncing softer around us.

  “What do we do now?” Tom asked.

  Tom was making me nervous as he was jumping too close to the edge where the springs were. “Tom,” I called to him. “Be careful.”

  He grunted, jumping harder as if to show me he could handle it, but a colliding ripple sent him flying backward into Derrick. Derrick crashed hard against the rim of the trampoline, and spilled over the edge, landing on the ground.

  “Crap,” Tom called out, turning around and leaning over the edge. “Sorry.”

  I scrambled to the edge of the trampoline. Derrick was sprawled on his back on the ground, with his hand on his forehead, his eyes squinted shut, and he laughing.

  “Derrick?” I asked in a quiet voice. “Are you okay?”

  “I think I broke my head.” He moved his hand to reveal a cut close to his hairline. It didn’t look deep but his blood dripped against his forehead.

  I leapt off of the trampoline, kneeling next to him. My heart raced in panic. What was I supposed to do? “Did you hit it hard?” I didn’t know what to ask. Should I call for help? I wondered if I could call Dr. Green.

  Derrick laughed, sitting up. “No. I just grazed it.”

  “Let’s go inside. We can bandage it up.” I stood, backing away. I thought about offering him a hand to stand up but my body wasn’t willing to do this. With the guys, I was only starting to get used to touching. Other people were still off limits to me.

  I was shocked that Derrick was hurt and it felt like partially my fault. I owned the trampoline so I was responsible.

  Derrick followed me to the house, with Tom and Micah trailing behind. I led the way through the back door and into the family room. My stomach twisted when I realized I was inviting more guys into the house. I felt myself blushing, gazing at the red-orange sofa, the single small television on top of a coffee table, and a desk and
computer in the corner. Spartan was how the Sorenson house functioned.

  “Redecorating?” Micah asked.

  I raised an eyebrow at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Shut up, Micah,” Derrick said. He turned to me. “Can we sit on the couch?”

  “Yeah, of course,” I said. Hardly anyone did. I couldn’t remember the last time I vacuumed the thing and was hoping it wasn’t too stale.

  I flicked the switch to start up the ceiling fans and disappeared into the kitchen.

  Marie, my sister, looked groggy still from just waking up. Her brown hair was tied back into a messy bun and the shorts and t-shirt she wore were a little wrinkled. She’d been sleeping in until well into the afternoon lately and I was surprised to see her up.

  She looked longingly into the pantry. “We need more food,” she said. She closed the door and turned to me. “You should call him.”

  “His number’s over there,” I motioned to the house phone. There was an index card with phone numbers jotted down sitting next to it. “Just call.”

  “You call,” she said.

  I rolled my eyes. Maybe this was why our father wanted me to stay. Marie would rather starve than talk to him right now. I really couldn’t blame her. I’d been reluctant to call, too. I didn’t want to hear his voice. I was still too angry.

  And I was afraid to hear any news about my stepmother. I was afraid to learn if she’d come home soon.

  I found the medical kit and tucked it under my arm. I opened the fridge to collect bottles of water and carried them with me back to the family room. Derrick was on his back on the floor. Tom was on the couch next to Micah. Tom found the remote and surfed through channels. I handed off bottles of water to them.

  “You don’t have an Xbox?” Tom asked, and opened the water.

  “Girls don’t play Xbox,” Micah said.