Forgiveness and Permission

by C. L. Stone

  He stopped mid-step when he spotted me. His lips parted and he smiled. "There's my little pumpkin. You skipped my class."

  "Sorry," I said. "Mr. Hendricks called me down." I felt weird sitting on his desk so I started to slide off.

  "Don't get up," he said. He closed the door behind himself. "I just need to get ready to go to work."

  My eyebrows lifted. "Work?"

  "Can't play all day," he said. "The hospital needs me."

  "You go straight from here to the hospital?"

  "Unless you want me to stop somewhere else on the way," he said. "Why? Did you want to go somewhere?"

  "I ... uh," I didn't know how to respond. I suspected he was trying to tease me in a friendly way.

  He beamed at me. "When you think of something, tell me." He turn toward his desk, opening one of the lower drawers. He yanked off his yellow tie, dropping it into the open drawer and started unbuttoning his shirt.

  "Oh, uh," I said, and glanced at the wall. "Did you need me to go?"

  He touched the top of my knee. "Stay put. I'm just tired of this shirt. It smells like that classroom. Which is to say, it's like kid sweat and chalk dust." He slipped the blue shirt off of his shoulders, revealing the white cotton T-shirt underneath. He unstuffed the lower hem out of the inside of the pants to let it hang down. I caught the thin line of blue boxers starting at his hips before the hem covered them and they disappeared.

  I bit my lip. Dr. Green's arms flexed as he moved, collecting his shirt and folded it to place in the drawer. As he bent forward, the lean muscles of his shoulders and chest flexed in a flattering way in the thin white shirt.

  When he finished, he sat down in his chair, rolling up until he could sit back and put his feet on the desk. His calf touched my thigh as he did. He rolled his shoulders back, his head leaning against the head rest of his chair. "Ugh." He sighed heavily. "Remind me not to become a teacher."

  "You're a doctor," I said.

  "That's right. I am a doctor. I will continue to be a doctor. I will do doctor things." He pointed a lazy finger toward the wall. "But those monsters out there spend all day locked in their cell phones like they think I can't tell what their up to, and become indignant when I ask them to pay attention. Not to mention all the things they do to each other. I think you and Victor are the only ones that acknowledge I'm even up there sometimes. I am so glad I skipped high school."

  His admission stunned me. "You skipped it?"

  "I've been in the Academy since forever," he said.

  Oh yeah. I should have figured. "But that's still a school. It's not like that?"

  Dr. Green laughed, rich and vibrant. "Just you wait. One of these days, you'll be out of here, and you'll wonder why these little hellions are so absorbed in what that girl is wearing or what he was doing last night on Facebook." He sat forward cupping a hand over my knee. "I may dump the whole class. Except you and Victor. " His light eyes caught mine. "Maybe even Victor."

  My lips parted. Words failed to form. I knew from the others that he was a flirt. It was simply hard to tell if he was at all serious or if he was joking.

  He winked at me. He glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned. "Never enough time." He released me, picking up a messenger bag. He stood up, slinging the bag's strap over his shoulder. He parted his arms. "Hug?"

  My cheeks heated, but I started to open up, scooting close to the edge. He nudged me to stand before wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I pressed my hands to his back. Since he was wearing the thin white shirt, I felt the muscles at his chest and back. My heart thundered. A tingling sensation swept through me. I didn't know him as well as the others, so part of it was that this was a new sensation. Part of it was that despite the lack of him being around sometimes, I wanted to get to know him more. There was simply something about his countenance that made me feel more comfortable around him than I thought I should be.

  He sighed against my hair. "Be good. Listen to the boys. Try not to get them into any trouble."

  I scoffed. "I don't do that."

  "Sure," he said, in a tone like he didn't believe me. He released me and patted his palm to my cheek, with that easy going smile on his face. "If I stay here another minute, I'll probably get into trouble."

  "What do you—"

  "Bye!" He waved shortly and headed to the door, leaving me to wonder what he meant.

  ♥♥♥

  True to Mr. Blackbourne’s promise, Kota came for me after class.

  We walked out together to the parking lot and his car. Nathan stood by the car with Luke in tow. I shouldn’t be surprised by any of them following us home. Sometimes they did it just to hang out. Today, Luke was coming along because North and Silas had practice tonight. Plus, Luke wanted to spend the night with me.

  “Shotgun,” Nathan said when we were within hearing distance.

  “Ha,” Luke said. “That means I get the back with Sang.”

  Nathan’s mouth dropped opened. “Shit.”

  “Hey,” Kota said, smirking. “What’s wrong with sitting up front with me?”

  “Sang’s prettier.”

  I hid myself behind Kota to mask my blushing.

  Luke opened the door for me this time. I dropped my things on to the floor, throwing my sandals off next to them. When Luke got in, I slumped over, putting my head in his lap.

  “What’s wrong?” Luke asked, his fingers brushed through the locks of hair around my face.

  His fingers were just what I needed. I sighed, seeking out the comfort in his touch. “Hendricks is mean. My sister’s been skipping school since last week. Now I have to try to convince her she should go to school.”

  Luke’s dark brown eyes softened. The blond locks were pulled back with a clip he’d stolen from me. “I know how you feel. I’ve got a chemistry test tomorrow.”

  A grin broke over my face at his attempt to be funny.

  “Get your seatbelt on, Sang,” Kota said as he started the car.

  “She’s fine where she is,” Luke said.

  “It isn’t safe.”

  “You’re a good driver,” Luke said.

  “It’s not my driving I’m worried about.” Kota readjusted his rearview mirror, using it to glance back at me. “Sang?”

  I sucked in a breath, sitting up, groaning. I curled up in the seat, pushing my knees to my chest, but stuffed my seatbelt on.

  Kota tilted his mirror back, satisfied. Kota the boss.

  Luke reached for my hand, holding it in his as Kota drove toward Sunnyvale Court. “What are we going to do tonight? I’ve only got a couple nights left before the diner opens.”

  This drew my attention from the window to him. “You mean it’s finished?”

  “They did a couple of dry runs today. Saturday they’ll do a soft open for the weekend. Friends and family only. After that, it’s officially open.”

  “It just seems so fast. It feels like I was knocking out counters yesterday.”

  Luke laughed. “You only knocked out one.”

  I twisted toward him. “What happens now? Will you work there? Will North? Can I go see it?”

  “We’ve got work to do,” Kota reminded us. “We’ve got to confront your sister, and you’ve got homework.”

  Luke beamed. “Yeah, and you’ll see it this weekend. And yes, I’ll work there and North will, too.”

  “That means you’ll be around a lot more,” I said, glad to hear about it. I liked the thought of being able to walk and see them when I wanted.

  “We’ll all be working there,” Kota said.

  “All of you?” I asked.

  “Everyone except Victor,” Luke said. “And Mr. Blackbourne and the doc. Gabriel probably not as much, but only because he’s got to travel so far. Probably just on the weekends.”

  “Victor won’t work?” I understood about Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green. I was sure they were very busy and didn’t need a job.

  “Victor doesn’t need a paycheck,” Kota said.

  I knew Victor’s
parents had money, but just because he didn’t need a paycheck didn’t mean he couldn’t work. It didn’t matter to me I guess but I did entertain the idea of all of us working there. Then I remembered Silas saying he had to be careful about his image outside of school. Maybe that was it.

  When we got to our street this time, Kota parked his car at my house. Again I felt out of place, with Kota directing our movements. Nathan and Luke didn’t appear at all surprised by this and didn’t question him. I tried to understand this. It was like they relinquished their plans to his direction. If we had parked at Nathan’s house instead, would they have felt any differently?

  But no, we had a job to do. It was time to confront my sister.

  I had the guys wait downstairs. I wasn’t even sure if she was home. They sought out snacks in the kitchen. Kota put his things down and ran back outside to go check the mail for me.

  On the second floor landing, I paused outside of Marie’s door, listening. It was tempting to use the special phone app that allowed me to access the house cameras and check on her, but I bit back that temptation. It really was supposed to be only for emergencies and I didn’t want to abuse that. I’d done it enough.

  I knocked softly at the door. “Marie?”

  No response. I knocked a couple more times and listened. When I didn’t hear anything, I used a push pin stuck into the wall to unlock her door.

  Marie’s room was dim, the shades drawn, the curtains closed. Marie was on her side in her bed, facing the wall. It was the stillness that worried me. Maybe she was sick and I didn’t even bother to check on her. For years we fended for ourselves for so much Our parents taught us to take care of ourselves. With the guys, I realized how terrible that was, but I still forgot at times.

  “Marie?” I called to her.

  “Go away,” she said from under the blanket.

  “Are you sick?”

  “No.”

  I frowned. “If you’re sick, it’s okay to tell me. I could bring a doctor.”

  “I’m not sick.”

  “How come you haven’t been going to school?”

  Marie shoved the blankets off of her and sat up. Her long brown hair fell against the blue T-shirt she wore. She looked a little pale, but otherwise she seemed fine.

  Her dark eyes zeroed in on my face. “Will you get out?”

  “The principal talked to me today. He’s noticed that you aren’t showing up for class.”

  Marie flinched. “What?”

  “He’d like to talk to you tomorrow, if you’re going to school. You’re not in trouble. He’s just worried.”

  “Does he know?” she asked. She relaxed again, falling on her back and staring up at the ceiling. “Does he know about dad?”

  Was that what she was worried about? That other people will know? “No. No one knows at school. Not unless you mention it. I don’t think we should.”

  She sighed. “It doesn’t matter.” She rolled over, facing the wall.

  “If you don’t go to school soon, the school will have to call Social Services. They’ll send someone, perhaps even the police.”

  Marie didn’t answer me.

  “Try to show up tomorrow,” I said softly, doing my best to sound concerned. “We’ll be okay, I think, as long as we do what we’re supposed to.”

  “Go away.”

  I closed her door. Maybe this was what Mr. Blackbourne meant when he said I should just remind her, but let her make her own decision. I made a mental note to myself to try to wake her tomorrow for school, and perhaps talk to her later. I didn’t understand how she could stand still. Was she depressed? I knew she wasn’t happy, she couldn’t be if she’s been hiding like this. I wasn’t sure how to bring her out of it if she was sad.

  I floated downstairs while still stuck inside my head, wondering about the best way to help. I’d had Kota and the others to help me. Maybe she needed someone, too. I knew she wasn’t fond of the guys. Maybe Danielle would if she knew?

  Maybe that’s what she needed. Maybe she just needed to know that someone else out there still cares for her, too. She didn’t trust me or didn’t want to, for whatever reason. I couldn’t imagine how alone she must be feeling right now.

  Downstairs, Luke was sprawled out on the family room floor in front of the television. Nathan was on one end of the couch, fiddling with the remote and surfing channels. Kota was on the other end of the couch, shifting through the mail, opening up bills and organizing.

  Luke sat up when I came into the room. “How’d it go?”

  “Terrible,” I said. I dropped to my knees, and fell sideways until I was against the carpet, glancing over at them. “I think she’s depressed.”

  “Her mother is in the hospital,” Kota said without looking up from a piece of mail. “And her father’s disappeared to live with another family. I can sympathize. She still needs to get up and go to school.”

  “I think she needs a friend,” I said.

  Kota put the bill down, looking at me on the floor. “Did you ask her to go to school? Did you try to talk to her?”

  “Yes, but I don’t think she likes me.”

  “Do you want me to talk to her?”

  Luke laughed. “That’s not going to work.”

  Kota’s head ducked back. “Why won’t it?”

  “She doesn't like us, either,” Nathan said, stopping on a music channel but hitting the volume down so we could talk. He put the remote in his lap. “She probably doesn’t trust us. I mean, she’s right to do that. She doesn’t know us and we’ve been kind of invading her space.”

  I sighed, rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling. “I was wondering if we should talk to Danielle.”

  “Nope,” Nathan said quickly. “Not happening.”

  I turned my head to look at him. “But Marie likes her. Maybe Danielle could motivate her into getting up.”

  Nathan scooted closer to the edge of the couch, putting his elbows on his knees to lean forward as he gazed down at me on the floor. “Peanut, you’re talking about letting a fox into the hen house. I’m guessing Danielle doesn’t know what happened here, or she’d be here already trying to take advantage of the situation.”

  “But Marie thinks she’s all alone right now.”

  Nathan’s lips parted to say something but he stopped, frowning. “I don’t know what to do,” he said. He turned to Kota. “There’s got to be a better way.”

  I let out a large sigh, stretching on the carpet. “I don’t suppose the Academy has friends for her.”

  Nathan and Luke laughed. Kota’s lips broke into a sympathetic smile. He pushed aside the bills onto the couch cushion, and slid down onto the floor on his knees. He knee-walked over until he sprawled out on his side next to me, his head propped up in his hand. “Sang?”

  “Yes, Kota.”

  “Would you feel better if you knew Marie wasn’t as depressed as you thought?”

  I propped myself up on my elbows. “She seemed depressed.”

  “Since your parents left, she’s been staying up all night on the computer downstairs and watching movies she bought off of cable.”

  My mouth popped open. “What?”

  “Check the internet history.”

  I rarely touched the computer downstairs. It belonged to our father, and he’d told us since we were young not to touch it because it had important work files. I’d grown accustomed to thinking of it as his work computer. My eyes widened and I tilted my head. “Do I want to see what she’s been up to?”

  “Probably not.”

  I blushed. “You knew?”

  “I didn’t know she was staying home,” he said. “But I’ve borrowed the computer a couple of times and noticed video games and music downloaded and I knew it wasn’t you.”

  I wondered if I should have felt weird about Kota going on my dad’s computer. I think the only reason it felt like that was because to me it still seemed like the forbidden zone. It was too hard to get used to. My dad was gone to another life. Nothing h
ere was his.

  “I sometimes see her in the hallways at school,” Nathan said, sitting back on the sofa. “I thought she was avoiding me this week. I didn’t realize she wasn’t there.”

  Luke scooted closer on the floor. “She knows she’s been noticed, now. So it’s up to her to get up and go.”

  Nathan nodded. “At least we won’t have to tell Danielle.”

  “That might still be a problem,” Luke said. “Marie could still tell her.”

  “We’ll worry about it when we get there,” Kota said.

  Luke fell back onto the carpet again, gazing up at the ceiling. “Well, we’ve got other things to do. Like grocery shopping.”

  I blinked. “Huh?”

  “You’re out of food, cupcake,” he said. “I think there’s a moldy loaf of bread left.”

  At the mention of food, my stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. “I forgot to call my dad,” I said.

  “Call him now,” Kota said.

  I grumbled a little, getting up. “I don’t wanna,” I said, trying to be funny.

  “Call,” Kota said.

  “I am,” I said, stumbling toward the kitchen. “I just want to complain about it.”

  I heard the guys chuckling. I found the phone number on the counter. I started to pull out my cell phone but stopped. I wondered if he would answer if he didn’t recognize the phone number. Did I want him to know this number?

  I picked up the house phone, hitting the button and waited for a dial tone.

  And waited.

  I blinked, hung up, check the phone line. The phone was plugged in. I wriggled the wires and tried it again.

  Dead line.

  “Kota?” I called.

  Kota carried the stack of bills from the living room. “Sang?”

  I held the phone out to him. “The landline is down.”

  His eyebrows shot up. He crossed the room, taking the phone from me. He listened to it, and then did the same song and dance I did checking the line. “Is there another phone?”

  “Just the one in my mom’s room.”

  He took the cordless with him, following the hallway to my parents’ bedroom. I trailed behind him, and hovered in the doorway. The air was still. I didn’t like the feeling of the bedroom.