Perfection of Suffering (The Shadows of Wildberry Lane Book 1)

by M. Sinclair

  I had seen Mrs. Carter—or as she preferred to be called, Lilly—only earlier this morning while she and Yates’s dad were coming back from their walk. Every morning, sometime between nine and ten before Mr. Carter left for work, the two of them walked the cul-de-sac, down towards the gate, and back. It was not only sweet but necessary, just in case Lilly had a particular bad lapse in memory.

  Around our junior year of high school, Lilly had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s, and while it was a slow progression, I did notice small lapses in memory when it came to short-term events. I think Mr. Carter felt like if she walked Wildberry every day, that it would stick as a familiar location in her mind no matter what happened. I hoped that was the case, but if she was ever lost, I would make sure she found her way home. Any of us would.

  I knew the entire situation scared the mess out of Yates.

  Something that he’d openly expressed to me before, which said a lot to how much it affected him. Then again, it was no secret that he was very close to his parents, so of course it was something that he struggled with. I imagine most people would.

  Lilly always called Yates her ‘miracle baby’ because she had nearly died giving birth to him. I didn’t have details on why the birth was so complicated, but it did explain why they doted over him so much, not helping the fact that the man truly did act like a cocky, proud king of his own imaginary kingdom. Miracle or not, though, I wanted to hit him over the head. Often.

  “I’m so glad you invited us over,” I gushed as I squeezed her hand. “I was thrilled when Yates stopped by to invite us.”

  The man in question chuckled softly as I snapped my gaze around to offer him a warning look. I loved his family, but that didn’t mean I had to like him.

  Lilly led us towards the sitting room that was off the main foyer and open to the dining room, the two-story ceiling of the room decorated with stunning hand painted murals that reminded me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It was actually one of my favorite rooms in the entire house.

  Well, except for Yates’s bedroom, and not for the reason you would assume. My lips pressed up as I remembered the last time I was in there.

  “Yates?” I called out. I was lying on his bed, flipping through his files from the office that day. His father owned a law firm, and Yates had been working there for most of the summer before starting his pre-law courses this fall… at Silver Oak. Even though he literally could have gotten in anywhere else.

  “Yeah, bunny?” Yates called out from his closet as he looked out at me, brow arched as he rolled up the sleeves of the button-down he’d worn to the office. I tried to not look at the impressive forearm porn he was sporting.

  “I think we should grab the twins and watch a movie tonight. Oh! Or we could actually go to the theatre.”

  Yates groaned. “I do not want to leave again tonight. If I have to see anyone fucking else today, I’m going to lose my mind.”

  “Poor baby,” I sassed, amused, and then arched a brow. “Do you want me to head out and leave you to your brooding?”

  “You don’t count.” He waved me off before coming to sit next to me on his bed.

  Yates’s entire room was fairly modern compared to the rest of the house, which was styled in an elegant traditional design. It had massive open windows, and his king size bed was covered in the softest blue sheets I’d ever laid on to this day, and that was saying something. It was one of the reasons I’d chosen to lay here instead of on the couch near the massive flat screen he had. It was a light and airy room that I could spend hours in, and I was almost damn positive that he knew it.

  “Oh good, I love not counting.” I flashed a scowl as I sat up.

  Yates groaned. “Woman, you know exactly what I mean. Come on, downstairs to the movie theatre. We will watch a fucking movie. I’m not messaging the twins, though, so you’re going to have to deal with my company.”

  Oh no. That sounded horrible…

  “Fine,” I sighed, sitting up and hopping off his bed. “We are watching—”

  “Don’t you say it,” he growled, following after me.

  “Come on, it’s not that bad!”

  The man muttered a curse as we made our way downstairs… where we watched Roman Holiday for the millionth time in a row. What?! I was an Audrey Hepburn girl, he could deal with it. Plus, I think he secretly loved it…

  So yes, unfortunately, the man was holding my favorite space in his entire house hostage, so if I wanted to spend time in it… it had to be with him. I suppose I would just suffer for the time being. Plus, Yates could be okay. Sometimes.

  Shortly after walking into the sitting room, my parents’ voices echoed behind us, along with Mr. Carter’s. I didn’t bother sitting down in the main room right away—dinner was never just dinner here—and instead made my way towards the massive side porch that a pair of french doors opened up to.

  One of the household employees, Hailey, offered me a sweet smile before handing me a glass of sweet tea. I blushed, feeling a bit awkward, because frankly I wasn’t a huge fan of hiring estate staff. The concept alone made me feel weird. Besides a landscaper, bi-weekly house cleaner, and pool worker, we didn’t have anyone work on our property unless we were holding an event. My mom wasn’t a fan either, but not all of the families in Wildberry shared the same sentiment.

  Yates barely noticed Hailey, waving her off as she offered him a glass, her face drooping slightly and making me nearly sigh… I could see the hope there. Something that both annoyed me and made me feel bad for her. Hailey was around our age, and her mom was the household chef that helped Lilly. When Hailey had graduated from high school two years ago, she had been hired while attending classes at a local community college outside of town. The few times we’d talked, she had seemed really nice, but there was very much a divide between us.

  For example, when I’d asked her why she wasn’t attending Silver Oak, her face fell before explaining the tuition was too high. I think that was when I realized how dense I was and decided to save myself the embarrassment. I would keep my socializations to a minimum because I was such a dumbass. Plus, I didn’t want to accidentally upset her further than I already had.

  On the other hand, as nice as she was… I knew she was into Yates. Something that I felt undecided about. Yeah, sure, that was how I felt. Hailey left the doorway to go greet my parents as I sat down on a massive, padded porch swing that cradled my form.

  Yates sat down next to me, unsurprisingly, and pinned me with a curious look. I arched a brow and took a sip of my tea. “Yates, you need to be nicer to those around you. Saying hi to Hailey wouldn’t kill you—you’re breaking the girl’s heart.”

  He blinked, confusion crossing his face as he arched a pale brow. “Hailey?”

  I huffed out a laugh. “The girl who works in your house, like, every day? The one who handed me this glass?”

  His eyes moved towards my glass before finally meeting my gaze again. “Why would I smile at her? We aren’t friends.”

  Oh man, this was a lost cause.

  “Yates.” I tilted my head and changed direction. “Why are we here?”

  The man next to me spread out slightly as his posture relaxed and he put his arms out, his large fingers tapping on the back of the swing right behind my shoulder. I turned towards him, watching something cross his face as he tried to decide on what he was going to say. Finally, he flashed me a smile.

  “What, you don’t like spending time with me?” he teased. There was a tension to him tonight, almost a nervousness that I didn’t fully understand.

  “As much as you enjoy spending time with me,” I retorted, taking another sip of my tea, his eyes flashing with something amused and dark.

  I would never admit it, but when Yates wasn’t being an ass, I actually did enjoy spending time with him. Besides being absolutely brilliant and fun to argue with, Yates and I shared a passion for traveling, so our families often vacationed together. The summer before our senior year, we’d spent a month yac
hting in the Mediterranean.

  Technically, my father had done some business overseas while we did, but neither Yates nor I paid any mind to that, and it had ended up being one of my favorite vacations yet. And that was saying something, because I’d traveled a lot.

  Before going, he had spent days researching everything we could do together, and I think I saw more in a span of four weeks than I ever would have on my own. I didn’t get to relax very often, but it was still a blast. Seriously, one time I tried to sleep in, and he carried me over his shoulder out onto a ferry that took us ashore to go on a day tour of a vineyard. It had totally been worth it, though.

  A memory of us snorkeling flashed through my head as a warm feeling of affection settled in next to my urge to hit him upside his head.

  “Bunny, just trust me, damn it.”

  I scowled at Yates, testing the water with my foot loving the Mediterranean Sea’s temperature and the way it soothed my skin. I pulled my foot back as I approached the ladder of the yacht, the cocky bastard in question lazily floating a few feet away, his blonde hair wet and slicked back away from his tan face and stunning, almost unnatural looking eyes. Honestly, I was glad he was in the water. His muscles were far too distracting.

  Then again, I had purposefully chosen my smallest bright orange bikini today because I had noticed it made him far more grumpy when I wore it, compared to my other swimsuits. Good. When he smiled, it was far too distracting.

  Stepping back on the ladder, I finally let out a squeak and jumped in fully, letting myself sink below the surface completely before popping back up. Brushing the salt water from my eyes, I smiled as hot, rough fingers slid around my waist, my hand reaching out to grab his shoulder. When I opened my eyes, my breath caught, finding him far closer than I expected. My throat went dry, and I felt myself go dizzy as he leaned closer… only to grab the goggles and attached snorkel tubs from the jumping platform.

  I scowled as he flashed me a cocky smile and wink before swimming away.

  Ass.

  I was positive Yates knew I found him attractive, and it only made me that much more pissed. Not that I would ever admit that to him. The day had been enjoyable, and my first time snorkeling had been a blast. I wasn’t the best swimmer, but I knew I could trust Yates to keep me safe… even though he spent a lot of our vacation snapping at waiters that he felt spent too much time at our table or at the boat staff that tried to make conversation with us. Okay, mainly me, but same thing. I shouldn’t have found his grumpiness nearly as appealing as I did.

  Then again, that was literally the problem with Yates. I hated how much I enjoyed the idea of spending time with him more than actually spending time with him. I would probably still travel with him, though. I enjoyed it far too much to give up.

  What?! We could be archenemies that vacationed together. That was a thing.

  “I didn’t know you were so into me, bunny,” he drew.

  I was so surprised by his words, I nearly choked on my drink, coughing before having to shake myself. What had he just said?

  “You do not like me or like spending time with me,” I commanded, as if that would somehow change what he was saying. His smile grew.

  Was he serious? Why did my heart squeeze so much at that concept?

  No. Bad heart. My feelings for Yates, mostly my annoyance, were my most understandable ones when it came to my boys… If those changed, I wasn’t positive what I would do, exactly.

  “Of course not,” he amended, “that would be ridiculous.”

  A small smile flitted to my lips as I tried to not overthink his words—it wouldn’t do any good—but it faded when he just had to go and mess up our relative peace. I shouldn’t have been surprised.

  “On a more serious note, bunny,” he said as he leaned forward, putting his forearms on his legs and fixing me with a look, “we need to talk.” A spike of anxiety rolled over me as I watched him with a relaxed curiosity that I didn’t actually feel.

  He continued, “I find it very hard to believe that all of this online bullying shit went away just like that—”

  “Yates.” My jaw clenched as actual anger flushed over me. Not today. I wasn’t doing this.

  “I’m not letting this go,” he rumbled quietly. “I know it’s still going on because you still aren’t acting like yourself.”

  “You have no idea what you are talking about.” I leaned down to adjust my sandals slightly, despite not needing it. Was it time for dinner yet? I am almost positive I had heard them call us in, right?

  “I know you don’t eat enough still,” Yates bit out sharply. “I know you’ve stopped taking photos or posting them on your account.”

  Damn him.

  I froze as I tried to take a deep breath, my emotions slowly numbing out. Leave it to Yates to bring up what everyone else had managed to move past. Well, at least acted like they’d moved past. I straightened and fixed him with a look, trying to appear unaffected.

  “My eating habits are none of your business,” I explained quietly. “Plus, I am going to be taking photos all fall in my classes. Maybe I just wanted to take a break.” Or maybe I was afraid of giving them anymore ammunition.

  “Everything you do is my business, bunny,” Yates said quietly.

  I couldn’t do this. Not tonight. I couldn’t deal with his intense words and overbearing attitude. Not after the messages I’d received last night. The picture of me at a coffee shop in downtown Camellia had been taken at a terrible angle… but it didn’t stop me from feeling like crap. It had made me never want to leave my house again. That was probably their end goal. If so, they were winning.

  Despite being outside, I felt suffocated.

  Standing, Yates locked his fingers around my wrist, pulling me to a stop before I could walk inside. I swallowed at the concern and fear I saw there, guilt hitting me hard once again. Why didn’t he understand that I was trying to move on? To forget about this? To ignore it? I wanted them to stop feeling awful about something that they should have never found out about in the first place! It wasn’t their fault, so why were they so determined to be a part of it? I didn’t say or ask any of that, though.

  Tugging my wrist from his grip, I walked inside, my mom looking up at me, her brow crinkling in concern.

  “Dahlia,” Yates warned, his voice a quiet hiss.

  “Honey, are you not feeling well?” she asked softly. “You look pale.” I swear, the woman had such a natural intuition about stuff like this. I ignored everyone’s eyes on me when I spoke, tempted to bring my elbow back because Yates’s massive frame was essentially plastered against me. Why was he so damn large? Christ.

  “I have been feeling a bit off all day. It may be the heat, but I feel even worse than a few hours ago,” I explained. None of that was really a lie.

  “I felt similar earlier. It’s the August heat, always so extreme,” Lilly confirmed.

  Mr. Carter nodded in understanding. “Well, in that case, I am positive you will be wanting to head home. Yates will walk you. Before you go, though, I do have a quick question.”

  “Sure.” I nodded, wondering if this is what Yates had been alluding to earlier.

  “I have a position in my legal office, only for a half day from around one to five, but I was wondering if you would be interested. I know we will have to work it around your classes at Silver Oak, but I figured I would offer it since your parents mentioned you getting some work experience.”

  Had they? No, that didn’t sound like them, but still, they weren’t disagreeing. They were always encouraging me to try new things.

  “Oh yeah, sure, that sounds interesting,” I said, nodding. “When do you want me to start?”

  Mr. Carter flashed me a smile. “Monday?”

  “I’ll be there,” I confirmed before hugging everyone goodbye, ignoring the overbearing shadow behind me. I could literally feel the surprise radiating off him, and I nearly rolled my eyes because I could guess what this was about.

  “You’re cool with t
his?” Yates asked as we walked down his front stairs, leaving our parents to their dinner.

  I honestly considered not answering him at first… but I did, stopping short to stare up at him, putting my hands on my hips. “Why, Yates? Why do you want me working there?”

  His eyes darkened. “Maybe I was serious about wanting to spend time together.”

  Liar.

  Then it clicked, and our conversation from earlier melded into my thoughts. I felt my chest tighten, my temper spiking. “Seriously?”

  “What?” he asked defensively, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  “This is your attempt at monitoring me?” I whispered, my face heated with anger.

  It looked like he was about to lie, but instead he simply said, “You should always have someone looking out for you, bunny.”

  I stared at him, a mixture of embarrassment at him clearly not thinking I was capable of taking care of myself, shame for it even coming to this, and fury at his assumption forming in my chest.

  “Screw. You.” I turned and walked towards my house, feeling like I was going to lose it. I could feel him following after me, so I slipped through my front door and immediately locked it, his hand coming down solidly on the handle right after I did so.

  Good.

  “Open the door, Dahlia!” he snarled, his voice edged with a natural dominance that made my hand twitch as if I was going to listen to him. I stopped myself from doing so and turned away, walking upstairs and leaving him standing there.

  As I walked into my bedroom, I slipped off my sandals before walking towards my small balcony that hung over the side of my house. I stepped out and sighed, hoping that he would go away so that I could go hang with King and the twins. I could still hear him knocking on the door, though… so I figured it would be a bit.

  “Angel face?” Stratton’s voice was quiet as I looked down at him. He was walking around the back of his property, the dusk light hiding his expression but making it clear he was wearing a zip-up hoodie and basketball shorts. Where the heck was he going?