by Aki_kaze
Keith burst out laughing when the two jumped up at the chorus line. Sam beamed at him, singing wildly. They reached out to each other. Their fingers could not make a physical contact, but the two could still feel it in their souls.
“Morning exercise? What an idea,” Keith said when the song ended, fanning himself with his shirt. He’d learnt one more thing about Sam.
“So, you like listening to music.”
“My father did. I got it from him,” Sam said with ease, unlike Keith who was gasping for air. “He had lots of records. But he must have taken them along when moving out. Most of the time, I got to listen to ‘80s songs.”
Keith could see that. The music style differed from those currently mainstream songs on the radio.
“Can you make me a playlist? You gonna love it.”
Keith eyed him a moment before he agreed. He grabbed his phone and dropped himself on the bed.
Sam sat down next to him and told him the songs he wanted. If he couldn’t remember the title, he’d mention the artist and they’d go through each song until they got it right. Soon, Keith got almost 30 new songs on his phone. He named it ‘Sam’s playlist’. To his surprise, the song they listened to last night was not included.
“By the way, what’s your plan on school break?” Sam flopped himself on the bed, delighted by the morning song.
“I don’t know.” Keith shrugged, placing his phone back on the nightstand. He headed to the bathroom. “But today I have to go into the city.”
“Again?” The spirit sprang up on the bed.
“I’m getting the photo. It won’t take long.” Keith thought back about when the two had just got to know each other. Back then, the spirit always encouraged him to leave the house.
Sam flopped down again. Keith approached the other and noticed his displeased expression.
“What do you want to eat? I can get it for you.”
Sam made a sulking face, prompting Keith to utter an excuse.
“Just kidding.”
“Just go already.” The spirit waved him off and turned face down on the bed.
Keith sighed and went into the bathroom. When he came out, Sam wasn’t there anymore. He got dressed, put the camera around his neck, and went downstairs. The phone rang in the living room. He ignored it and entered the kitchen. Cereal would be his breakfast today. His two cousins were nowhere to be seen so he guessed they were still asleep.
When he finished the meal, he cleaned the bowl and then went to find Diane in the living room.
“I’m going to the city today.”
“Do you want me to drop you off?” She turned away from the TV to him.
“It’s okay. I’m taking the bus.,” he replied, “I’m leaving then.”
“Take care,” her voice followed him out as he walked to put on his sneakers at the door.
He waited about ten minutes for the bus to arrive. On the ride, he listened to the songs Sam suggested. They were such a variety. Some fast, some slow. He might not like all of them, but it was enjoyable. He was glad he got to know the other better, even it was just something trivial.
When he got off the bus, he headed straight to the photo shop. The city today was not as bustling. The pigeons on the ground were even greater in number than people. Perhaps it’d get crowded at noon as office workers took lunch break and teenagers started to gather.
The shop bells rang when Keith pushed the door open, notifying the staff of the customer’s arrival. On the wall hung numerous photos in colorful frames. He checked his photo on the camera waiting for the staff to finish printing the photos from the seaside restaurant trip. His eyes accidentally fell on the photo albums in the showcase. His attention drawn, he walked up to it. It was true that people nowadays would rather save their photo in the computer or in the cloud. Still, after he’d seen his childhood photo album, he took a liking to a more tangible way of memory recording. These photos would serve in the future as a memento of his past.
Forty minutes later Keith obtained his photos, and an album to boot. He went out just to be greeted with a late morning sunshine. He was about to leave for the bus stop but decided to visit the cemetery instead.
He had no need to revisit the place, yet here he was, standing in front of Sam’s grave. The pink carnation bouquet was not there anymore. Maybe the grave keeper took it away.
“I’m here again even though I just met you in the morning,” Keith said, “I thought I could stop my thought about your past. But that song… That song we listened to last night made me wonder. I want to know what happened to you. I still remember that headline I found on the internet. But every time I was about to click it, I told myself I didn’t want to know. I tried to convince myself so, knowing well it’s not true.”
The boy took a deep breath. Warm breeze blew past him. The temperate sensation he felt was totally different from when he was with Sam. He asked himself why he came again. No matter how many times he uttered the questions or how hard he tried, Sam wasn’t there to answer any of them. Why must he fear the answer so bad?
The Gib’s Tragedy.
What could have taken place which brought about such a headline.
“Sam. I want to know about you. Because I…”
Approaching footsteps made him wince. He turned to see a couple, never met yet familiar. The lady held a bouquet of pink carnations in her hand. They eyed him in surprise.
“Are you Sam’s friend?”
He didn’t reply. Instead, he took a step back, giving way to Sam’s parents to step in before the boy’s grave. Mrs. Gibs bent down to lay the floral bunch. She murmured something which Keith was too far to make of. He knew he should leave immediately, but his legs betrayed him. The gentleman then turned to him and reached out his hand, offering a handshake.
“I think we’ve never met before. I’m Mason, Samuel’s dad. This is his mom, Emily.”
“I’m Keith… I’m…” He turned to look at Sam’s grave. He didn’t know what he should introduce himself as. Who was him to Sam? He didn’t actually know the other when he was alive. “I just moved into your house.”
They turned to look at each other, their faces lined with disappointment.
“We’re sorry. We thought you were him.”
“Him?”
A thought dawned on him. Sam’s constant gaze out of the window. And that song. About the utter delight of knowing love. About the whole world that changed in a mere moment of the feeling. About everything turning vivid and bright. The song which made the listeners feel that, with the power of love, they could conquer the world.
Sam and love. The two things he never before pieced together.
Tragedy…
He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. Sam’s parents eyed him in wonder. Should he ask? Should he know?
“Can you please tell me about Sam?” he blurted out, his heart beating fast.
They both looked at each other again before Mason answered him.
“Of course, if you are interested. But it’s…”
“I’m sorry.” the boy bent his head in apology.
“It’s okay.” Emily’s voice was gentle and warm, like the spirit when he wanted to console him. “I think an occasional talk with someone about the boy might be good, too. Let’s go to that café over there.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
Keith followed the Gibs couple into an alley nearby. He was going back on his words. But he couldn’t let this opportunity to learn about Sam from his very parents slip. He decided he would apologize to Sam later. Or perhaps Sam didn’t have to know about this. His heart sank. A part of him was screaming he was making an absolutely terrible mistake.
Chapter Twenty Five
Sam
The small café was located not so far from the local church. The window was decorated with white alphabet stickers, arranged into the shop name and its recommended menus. Inside the shop lay furniture of modern design. There were white tables and colorful couches. The wal
l was painted in pastel, giving out a light and dreamy atmosphere as if the place came out from a fairytale. Desserts were displayed in the glass showcase near the counter. Behind it hung a board on which a list of beverages was written with chalks in various colors.
The room was filled with coffee’s aroma. There were tables for customers in group and in pair. Only two of them were occupied by a young couple and a group of teens. Mason walked to the counter to order them foods and drinks while Emily and Keith headed to the table in the inner part of the shop.
“Last time I came here, about a year ago, there weren’t so many tables. Maybe they got more customers.”
Mrs. Gibs’ eyes roamed the shop, her face nostalgic. Keith wondered in his mind if Sam had ever visited this place. Before he could go deeper in his thought, the lady spoke to him.
“My son didn’t like to come here. He didn’t like to go outside the house unless he’d got a plan with his camera.” She gave him a faint smile. “He was really good at photography. Yet, he wasn’t quite fond of taking a picture of himself.”
That reminded Keith of the album John found. There was one Sam’s self-portrait photo. He was about to ask about it but was interrupted by Mason’s return, his hand holding drinks.
Although Keith previously refused their treat, they still bought him a glass of chocolate frappe. He said thank you then turned to Emily. Her face expressed hesitation. She did not know where to start, what to tell.
“So, you family bought our old house?” Mr. Gibs asked, trying to lessen the hanging awkwardness.
“Yes. My aunt’s husband got a new job and we had to move here.” Keith saw the two making an expression. He could read what they wanted to ask. “My parents passed away.”
Mrs. Gibs eyed him with sympathy as Mr. Gibs uttered his condolence. Keith gave them a smile. He wanted to ask about Sam but didn’t want to rush things.
Emily sipped her hot coffee, her gaze lingering on it.
“You want to know about Sam,” she said, “I don’t know where to start. You came to visit his grave, so you must know he passed away.”
“I just came across it,” He replied. The first time he visited the cemetery he didn’t know Sam’s grave was there.
“Is that so?” Emily exhaled deeply then took another sip. “Then you should get to know him first. He was a nice, cheerful boy. Very perceptive. And he grew more mature than people in his age.”
The boy noticed a smile blossoming on their faces.
Sam’s mother continued.
“What we know is that he was kind, and generous. That’s why he got a lot of friends. But there was this one person he was very close to. One who didn’t deserve that place.”
Mason’s hand reached to hold Emily’s. The woman took a deep breath, before resuming with no more hesitation.
“I’ve never seen his face. But I know the boy would ride his bike past the back of our house. And Sam would always watch him by the window in his room.”
A memory flashed in Keith’s mind. That was what Sam did when he first met the spirit. He had seen Sam by the window many times. He knew the meaning at last.
“I saw him do that many times. But when I asked him, he wouldn’t tell me anything. He’d just smile and change the subject. I never knew he was troubled by something. He never showed it. He didn’t like to go outside much. And when he was with us, he was always smiling. His laughter made us happy... What kind of mother couldn’t see that her son was in pain.”
“Emy.” Mr. Gibs turned to comfort her before continuing the story himself. “When we asked him about school, Sam always told us about the teachers, his best friends, everything. We thought we were so lucky to have a son who was so open to us. You know, many parents say that their child won’t go to them when in trouble, that they are growing distant. Our Sam wasn’t like that. So, we couldn’t tell he kept something away from us. There was no sign. When he was with us, he never cried, he never showed disappointment. He was so perfect, and we were fools...”
Sam’s smile came up when Keith was listening to them. Everything he was told took him back to the moments he spent with the spirit. He hardly saw Sam’s sad expression. The only time he noticed something was off was when Sam was listening to that song. A smile crossed his face as he learnt that Sam, too, had something he shouldered alone.
“What happened to him?” Keith asked, his voice urging, more than a mere stranger’s voice should be.
“He…” She paused. Her eyes were far away; her mind was traveling back into the past. Whatever happened, it terrified her.
“He hung himself from the ceiling light in his bedroom.”
She dissolved into tears as soon as she finished it.
Keith thought he had braced himself for it. But truth could always find its way through a crack in one’s fortified heart and pierced it without mercy. He got goosebumps, his spine chilled. His heart bled in pain.
“There… there was no ceiling light he could…” He staggered, losing his voice within such a short period. He tried to deny her words in a forlorn hope that what he’d heard might be untrue.
“We removed it.” Mason said, his voice revealing he, too, wished it was not true. “We didn’t know what happened. He didn’t come down for breakfast. Emily went to check on him and found him in that state. No letter. No explanation. He left just like that.”
The last few words were uttered with intense emotions, to which Keith could relate. Left, just like that.
“We tried to find out what happened from those who knew our son. His teachers. His friends. We didn’t learn anything new. Everyone said the same thing. That Sam was a cheerful, friendly kid. Generous and kind. No one said anything else, as if they were made to rehearse only those words. We asked about that friend of him he usually talked about. We were told that he had transferred to the new school before summer break… We didn’t know why though.”
She paused, her face clouded with despair and anxiety.
“For almost a month we knew nothing. Until we met Sam’s classmates again. Two girls came to our house. She told us what happened to Sam at school. How those boys bullied our son. How the abuse was getting more and more severe. Sam became the target because he was close to the boy next class. Because they loved each other. The cruelty they faced became too unbearable the other had to move away. And our son…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence. She wiped her face with her hand, saying sorry. Keith couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.
“I’m… I’m sorry. About that.” His crying was uncontrollable and even fiercer than Emily’s. He tried to wipe the tears off his face, but they kept streaming down.
“You’re sure you don’t know Samuel?”
He shook his head in refusal. It was better to lie than to let out the truth. Not everyone would believe he could see them. They could even get upset at him. Still, his explanation was delivered from the bottom of his heart.
“I don’t know him. But I don’t think anyone should suffer that.”
Keith thought of the times he touched Sam. Loneliness. Grieve. Pain. Some flashing images he couldn’t grasp. Maybe those are Sam’s emotions in his last moment.
Sam’s story reminded him of many things. The agony felt from seeing what one ought not to see. The pain which no one understood. The escape which no one could grant. So, Sam sought one himself. Keith had thought about it many times ever since the accident but had not enough courage to do it.
