by Aki_kaze
“I’m sorry you have to listen to such a tragic story,” Emily said.
He quickly shook his head. It seemed he came to stop crying, but actually it was just a pause. As soon as he reached home, reached his bedroom, reached Sam, he knew he’d pour it all out again.
“I found an album. It’s Sam’s.” He tried to change the subject. A faint smiled tugged on Emily’s lips.
“He loved photography. So, Mason bought him a camera.” Keith grasped the camera tight. It seemed like the two failed to notice it was Sam’s.
“If you go to the house, I can return it to you.”
But Emily shook her head.
“We left many of his stuff there. They were his, and we felt like they should remain in their place. It’s good enough he lives in our memory. I don’t want anything to remind me of how negligible of a mother I was.”
The lady still blamed herself on her son’s demise. It wasn’t easy to move one, Keith understood. He knew he wasn’t in any place to judge. But, if someone was to blame, it wouldn’t be just a single person. Everyone played a part in it, even himself.
“Still…” Keith said, “if you want to visit our house, you are always welcome. It might have changed. But I’ll be glad to welcome you.”
If they came, Sam could get to see his parents again.
“Thank you.”
Keith bade farewell to the Gibs.
Feeling empty, he ambled to the bus stop. Throughout the ride, Keith gazed out of the window watching the familiar view. But it somehow felt different to him. He felt, as if all the lights in his world had gone out.
Chapter Twenty Six
Can’t Do
Keith didn’t realize where he was until he heard Diane calling him from the kitchen. He paused to look around the inside of the house, as if it was his first time being here. Baked dessert’s scent wafted through the air. On the table lay the gray trays, on which many muffins were set.
“John said it was too sweet. What do you think, dear?” She asked, her eyes gesturing him towards the baked food.
He stood there, eying the tray with no interest. He had lost all his appetite.
“This one is chocolate. This one, banana. Try it,” she continued. But the boy still didn’t budge, his eyes empty and expressionless. She called him again, “Keith, are you alright?”
“I… I’m fine,” he quickly dismissed.
Keith picked up a chocolate muffin. It smelled so good. But when he took a bite, it tasted like nothing. He doubted even his favorite burger could do in this situation.
“It’s good,” he said flatly.
“Try the banana one, too.” She handed it to him. Keith accepted and quickly left the kitchen.
“I’m going to my room.”
Each step he took grew heavier, weighted down by pain and sorrow almost unbearable. What would he do when he saw Sam’s face? Could he pretend he didn’t hear anything? Could he forget what Sam had chosen for himself?
He stood before the door, trying to gather himself. This was the first time he didn’t want to go inside. Keith let out a sigh before slowly turned the knob.
Sam’s back was the first thing he saw. The other was gazing out of the window per usual. Keith couldn’t help stealing a glance at the ceiling. There was no sign a hanging light used to be there. He quickly looked away before his mind conjured up an image he didn’t want to see.
“You are back?” Sam said with a smile, his voice jolly. There were sparkles in his eyes when they lay on the muffin Keith was holding. “So, it’s muffin! I can smell it from here. Is it good?”
“It’s good… yeah.” His voice was the opposite of the other’s cheeriness.
At that time, he made up his mind he wouldn’t say anything about what he heard from Sam’s parents. At least not now. He didn’t want to erase that smile on the spirit’s face. He didn’t want to ruin the thing between them, whatever that thing was.
“I rather want to show you these photos.” He put the plastic bags on the bed. They contained the photos and the album from the shop. He then put the muffin down on the nightstand.
“You can’t do that. Finish the muffin first or else they will go stale.” The spirit pulled a serious face.
“Just tell me you wanted to eat it.”
“Correct!” His face leaned in so close that Keith forgot to breathe.
“F…fine. Muffins first.”
He grabbed the food and moved over to his desk. He wouldn’t want the crumbles to fall on his bed. Sam followed him, getting even eager even though he couldn’t eat them.
“How’s it? Tasty? Soft? Smells nice?”
Sam bombarded him with questions as Keith took a bite. It was strange how he could taste it this time.
“You can’t smell it?”
This time the spirit leaned his whole body towards the boy. Keith drew back immediately, but it turned out the spirit only aimed for the muffin in his hand. The boy never saw the spirit’s face from this angle before. Light color eyebrows captured his attention; they were new to him. The other’s face lingered before the muffin. Keith lifted the other hand in an attempt to touch the spirit’s cheek. It was nothing but thin air.
When the spirit caught what the boy was doing, he smiled and tilted his head into the other’s hand. Coldness rushed from his fingertips to his heart, making him yank his hand back in response.
“It smells nice. But I can’t taste it. Can you describe it for me?” He awaited the reply with full attention.
Keith gave the muffin a bite. He tried to search his head for a proper word. But all he could come up with were delicious and tasty.
“Hmmm… it tastes like muffin.”
“Keith!” Sam crossed his arm, his eyes ablaze as if Keith did something wrong.
“Well, it’s flour. Which smells good. And the chocolate is also good. Ouch!”
He rubbed his forehead as he noticed a pen falling on the floor.
“It was stupid of me to ask you for the description.” The spirit hovered towards the bed, taking interest in the photo album instead.
Keith took a bite after another hastily. The once delicious treat was giving him a dry throat now. He should have taken time on the snack, not just quickly finished it so that he could go to spend time with the house-haunting spirit. He wiped his hands and followed him to the bed. He pulled the photos out of the envelope. Going through them, he chose the photo to put into the album with care.
“It’s a wonder the camera’s still working,” Sam said, his voice proud.
The boy eyed him with bored expression. His eyes though stopped at the other’s neck unintentionally. There was no trace of anything there, of course. Otherwise, Keith would have noticed it a long time ago.
“What is it?” Sam asked him, his head rested on a hand.
“N… nothing.” He directed his attention back to the photos, trying not to think about what Sam’s parents told him.
“This one’s good.” Sam pointed at the sea view photo taken when Alice and he strolled along the beach. The color gradient from the sky to the sea merged perfectly. In the right corner was a tree and the beach. Keith liked it, too.
Keith selected the photo of the park, the city, and the sea into his album. He went to grab a black marker to write the caption below each.
“The place where I tripped,” Sam said. Keith eyed him in confusion, so Sam pointed to the picture of the playground in the park, “I tripped over there… I was a kid… eleven… Well, still counted a s a kid.”
He smiled slightly at Sam’s attempt at excuse.
“It’s my photo album. Why should I include your story?” Despite that, Keith wrote under the picture ‘an 11-year-old boy once tripped over here’.
“Thanks,” the spirit said sarcastically.
He put the ‘SEAFOOD!’ caption under the sea picture, earning him a grumbling from Sam.
The last photo he pulled out was Sam’s grave. He didn’t know why it was also here, but he felt like he wanted to kee
p it. He turned to the last page of the album and put the photo there. No caption given.
“You didn’t take a photo of yourself,” Sam said when the boy finished with his grave photo and turned to the Underwoods one.
“Neither did you. There’s only that photo.” Keith turned to look at the full size mirror stood by the closet. “Can I take a picture there?”
Surprise flicked across Sam’s face before melting into a smile.
“Go ahead.”
The spirit led him to the mirror. Keith grabbed his camera and followed him. Standing before it, he could clearly see his own reflection, but not Sam’s, even though the spirit was right behind him.
“Do you see yourself in the mirror?” Keith asked.
“No,” he said nonchalantly. “You stand here. You’ll get the picture from the same angle.”
Sam directed Keith’s pose from behind. The boy felt a chilling touch here and there over his body. He got goosebumps when Sam’s fingers attempted to lift his arm. The back of his neck felt a tingling sensation as Sam’s face approached even closer.
Keith’s breathing was out of control. He tried to collect himself but not a part of his body listened.
Keith looked into the mirror. Even though he couldn’t see the spirit’s reflection, he fully felt the presence behind. He pressed the shutter button before turning around to face Sam. The tip of his nose went right through the other’s chin.
“Don’t turn around so fast like that.”
Sam didn’t move away, and Keith dared not look into the other’s eyes. He could only stand still. His heart was beating like mad.
The spirit put a hand on Keith’s shoulder.
“I think you should rest. See you tomorrow.”
“Okay…” He could only manage a brief response.
When Sam left the room, he let out all his breath he had been holding. He placed the camera on the nightstand before taking a seat on the bed, feeling tired out of sudden.
“You’ll be fine, Keith. You’ll be fine.”
When he got to be by himself, the conversation at the café returned to his mind. He remembered every word Mr. and Mrs. Gibs said, even their expressions, or the smell of the shop which hung on the tip of his nose. It was as if he went back to that place again.
“I’m fine. I’m going to be fine.”
He gently swayed his body. His comforting words were but mere breathes. He felt a burning sensation in his eyes. He didn’t know how long he could pretend not knowing anything. When he saw Sam’s face, he wanted to console him. He never thought a cheerful boy like Sam could hold such a miserable past, never thought he would choose to end everything that way. The cause differed, but the boy could understand the other’s pain. If he let his guard down, the thought would rush back to his mind. It was as if he stood at the edge of the cliff, too scared to take any step further, too scared even to look down, so he turned back and left. All the while Sam’s body lay at the bottom of the cliff…
Keith crawled out of his bed. His face covered in sweat. His breathing was unusually loud. He pulled the drawer open, shaking hands rummaging around to find the med he kept deep inside because he thought he was never going to use it again. He took in half a pill because he couldn’t yet take the grownup dose.
He drew up his knees, closed the eyes, and bent his face downward. He tried to shut down his thought. He tried to stop going back to the Gibs’ words. He tried to stop imagining Sam’s last moment, his body hanging down from the ceiling over the bed. But he failed. He failed, and everything was clear and vivid in his mind.
“Sam… Sam…”
Chapter Twenty Seven
Things to be Done in One Day
Keith was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth in front of the sink. He gazed into the mirror with empty eyes, his hand moving out of habit. After washing his face, he got dressed. Today’s choice was a plain shirt and a pair of jeans. He picked up the hair spray and went back into the bathroom. Diane bought it for him several months ago, but he’d never used it. Keith’s hair always covered his forehead. When he got it slicked back, he looked different, like he became another person. He told himself with just that he could look more like a grown-up.
He checked up himself in the mirror one more time before going out to leave his room, taking the wallet and the smartphone with him.
Keith half-ran half-walked down the stairs. He shouted into the kitchen to tell Diane he was going out.
“Keith, is that you?” Alice came out of the kitchen. Her eyes went wide as she saw his new hairstyle. Before she could say anything else, Keith left the house.
Morning light was harsh, a reminder of the scorching time of year. Keith waited at the bus stop, a few people with him. When the bus arrived, they all got up. The city was their destination. He took a seat and pulled out his smartphone. He opened the map application and search for the restaurant he wanted to go to. The place was a 10-minute walk away from the city.
He followed the map’s guidance, walking past the flower shop where he bought the flower for Sam, and past the church to the west. From there, the route was unfamiliar. His eyes flicked between the narrow alley before him and the map on the screen. He wasn’t sure if naively following the map was a good idea, seeing that on both sides of the alley were the back of people’s houses. He rechecked his destination on the map and decided to put his faith in the device.
After he went through that residential alley, he reached a two-lane road. He crossed it and continue walking for a while. Soon, he could see a building with a Brazilian flag in the front. The glowing neon sign telling the restaurant’s name was hung up on the windowpane of the wooden door.
When he pushed the door to enter, he heard a song of foreign tongue. There were only a few customers as it had just open. He chose the table in the inner part of the restaurant. A waiter greeted him earnestly before placing the menu before him.
His initial intention was only a light meal, but the weather made him feel thirsty and hungrier than usual. So, he ordered the cheese bread, the restaurant’s special and the main reason of his visit; as well as a main dish, a dessert, and a drink. When the waiter left, he pulled out his phone again. He searched for the nearest cinema. Fortunately, he found one near the mall.
He didn’t have to wait long until his order came. His eyes fell on the five pieces of cheese bread in the basket, giving off a savory smell. This was his first time having a Brazilian food. But, before he helped himself with it, he pulled up his phone and took a photo. Soon the waiter delivered him the main dish. It was the spicy malagueta chicken served with french fries, salad, and corn. Keith finished everything except the salad because he disliked vegetable.
“Excuse me. Dessert please,” Keith called out to the waiter.
Before another waiter came to clear up the table, the boy took another photo of the empty basket.
The caramel ice cream was delicious. Keith called for the check and found out the single meal cost almost as much as his normal whole week expense. Still, he was frugal at school, so he had got some savings.
The ice cream’s coolness helped to shield him from the noon’s intense sunlight. He opened the map again and followed the direction to the cinema. This time he chose the main street route rather than the narrow alley one.
On weekdays, the movie got even less people than he thought. Apart from himself, there was only a group of 5 teens at the refreshment counter and other 4 people queueing to buy the ticket. He didn’t know what movies the theatre had now, so he bought a ticket for one which was showing soon.
He took a picture of the ticket and walked to the Cinema No. 3 which was on the same floor. There already were some people inside, sitting sporadically. Keith took his seat and looked at the time. The movie would start in a few minutes. Even though he wouldn’t usually receive any call, he turned the phone sound off and put it in his pocket.
An hour and a half in the cinema passed faster than he expected. The movie he watched was a comedy, and enter
tained was he. Many times, he would hear people laugh out loud during the show. Walking out the cinema, he pulled out his phone and open his to-do-list.
“Eat Brazilian food. Check. Watch a move. Check. Next is… almond milk smoothie with chocolate brownie. Why almond milk though? And with brownie? Won’t that be too sweet. Why not fruit smoothie?”
He murmured as he kept walking. He didn’t need to search for the shop location as he remembered it from the last time he visited the mall.
When he was placing the order, he thought back to when he asked Sam to list five things he would like to do or eat. Keith would do it for him.
“Hmmm… You asked me out of sudden. I can’t come up with any now.” Sam rubbed his chin. “I think I can manage it by the evening. But only five?”
“More than that is fine. But I’ve got only one day.”
“Understood.” The spirit still pondered over the request as he walked out the room.
