Ruined Forever

by D. L. Carter

  Elizabeth’s blush deepened, and she concentrated on shuffling the pages.

  “Ah, we are called to table,” announced Mr. Bennet, startling the company. “Come along, wife. We cannot risk Mr. Bingley fading away from hunger before the wedding.”

  Mrs. Bennet began gathering the company together but by the confusion on her countenance the summons to dinner had not yet been received. Indeed, they all reached the table to find the servants still working. Mr. Bennet insisted that Darcy should be seated at his side, with Caroline Bingley between Darcy and Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet occupied Darcy’s time with discussion of crops and winter damage for the entirety of the meal.

  ***

  When the women departed after the meal, Darcy rose and approached Bingley, leaving Mr. Bennet in company with his relatives from London.

  “This has been a most odd evening,” said Darcy, softly. “Mr. Bennet will not permit me to say the slightest word that is not related to drainage ditches or fertilizer.”

  “Won't he? I hadn’t noticed.”

  “What could you see beyond your angel?” demanded Darcy, and then frowned into his brandy. “Mrs. Bennet does not speak to me. None of the ladies said a word beyond simple greetings. And I know that two unmarried women were at table tonight and neither of them looked in my direction at all.”

  “Poor Darcy, is your pride hurt now you have joined the ranks of the betrothed? Surely you do not expect my neighbors to be so uncivil to throw their daughters at you when your bride-to-be awaits you elsewhere?”

  “Betrothed? Bingley, what are you saying?”

  Around the room heads turned. Darcy gave the room his back and headed for the window. He knew what Bingley meant. God, how could he have made so simple a mistake? He had abandoned the neighborhood, departed in train with Lady Catherine, and left those he left behind with the knowledge he had traded his freedom for Elizabeth's. No doubt Mr. Bennet had so informed his favorite daughter. That would account for the blushes and the averted eyes.

  Darcy groaned. “I did say something like, but then matters progressed and it was unnecessary.”

  “Unnecessary?” Bingley waited a moment but no explanation was forthcoming. “Well, look at how it appears to the family. You are now engaged to be married and you have come back here to flirt with a woman previously subject to a debilitating scandal.”

  “Dear God.”

  “And the ladies of society had gossiped about you offering her a slip on the shoulder…”

  “Never!” then Darcy stopped. “Although I do remember two cats saying that.”

  “Exactly. Then you understand.”

  Bingley studied his friend for a while. Darcy was paler than usual. His manner hangdog and hopeless. Although the glass was filled with a superior liquor, Darcy let it hang in his hand until it was near to tipping on the carpet.

  “When my reception at Longbourn was not as welcoming as I expected, I thought the family had taken offense at Lady Catherine, and extended it to me.”

  “Darcy, when you departed in company with your aunt, it was with the expectation that you should soon be married to Miss Anne. What other complexion could you expect them to put on it?”

  “Dear God. All this time I have been laboring to free myself and her family considers me bound.” Darcy shook his head. “I would have written, indeed I should have, except I do not have the sort of understanding that permits letters.”

  “Her family? Her?” Bingley’s lips stretched in a grin. “Could it be? You have formed an attachment? It can only be to Miss Elizabeth. I have taken Miss Jane and none of the younger girls are worthy of you.”

  Darcy gave a slow nod. “It is Elizabeth. Yes.”

  “Congratulations, my friend. Despite all this, or perhaps because she has been so strong despite this recent pain, I think her worthy of you. Unfortunately…”

  “Unfortunately what?”

  “She believes you engaged.”

  “But I am not. I did not propose to Anne. There will be no alliance and I shall tell her father so.”

  “That is, if you forgive me, worse.”

  “Worse? How so?”

  “If you did not propose when you said you would, now her father will believe you cannot be trusted to keep your promises.”

  “But matters changed. Once I spoke to my aunt, to my uncle the earl, we were able to settle matters without my sacrifice.”

  “This is all setting my head to aching, Darcy. Go; speak to Mr. Bennet tomorrow and set the matter right. Only….”

  “Only what?”

  “What are you going to say?”

  Darcy blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Forgive me, but I am only asking you what you asked me. What is your purpose? What are you going to say? To Mr. Bennet? To Miss Elizabeth? Are you going to propose? It is all very well for me, living as I do on the fringes of society, to snub my nose and marry for love. But you…does not your family have ambitions for you…beyond your Cousin? Your uncle, the Earl, were you not complaining about having the daughter of a viscount pressed upon your notice? What will they do when they hear you are pursuing a gentleman’s daughter from the country with a scandal ridden past?”

  Darcy sighed and leaned back in the chair.

  “I know my heart, Bingley, but, in truth, yes, I owe it to my Uncle to solicit his approval.”

  Darcy paused. Noise and chatter increased as the men rose to rejoin the ladies. He might not be able to speak to Elizabeth now, but he could not depart this night without making some attempt to reach her. To assure her of his freedom. Sadly he could not speak to her directly without awakening hopes.

  He considered the problem deeply as he trailed along behind Mr. Bennet into the parlor. It wasn’t until Mrs. Bennet called for the card tables that the room cleared enough for Darcy to see two of the most notorious gossips of Meryton, there, staring at him. Forcing a smile on his lips he crossed the room to bow to Mrs. Long and Mrs. Phillips.

  If he dropped a hint in either lady’s ear regarding his un-betrothed state it would be around the county by morning.

  Their questioning was detailed and just a little rude. But when Mrs. Long made the observation that she had ‘heard’ of his betrothal he was delighted to take the opportunity to look her in the eye, frown slightly and scold her for listening to gossip.

  And then, to refute the story utterly.

  ***

  The issue of being regarded as unreliable nagged at Darcy. A sleepless night was the price he paid as he worried at how he would correct the unfortunate impression. All his adult life he had labored to be a good landlord, a good master. Why, look at how many times he had paid Wickham’s debts so that no shopkeeper would suffer? Obviously he could not go directly to Mr. Bennet and say, see, I am wealthy, proud and well regarded. His impression of that gentleman was clear. Mr. Bennet would rather laugh than be impressed.

  Then there was the possibility that Miss Elizabeth had already cut him out of her heart - if he had at any point already had a home there - and moved on.

  Bingley had been no help. He was so caught up with worshiping at the feet of his dearest Jane that he wasn’t certain if Miss Elizabeth had mentioned Darcy at all during his absence.

  Therefore he was faced with an awesome task.

  He must write to his uncle, the earl, and inquire if he were willing to support Darcy in an alliance beneath the dignity of his standing in society with a woman who had survived a dreadful scandal.

  And, he must convince the aforementioned woman that her future happiness dwelt in Pemberley, with Fitzwilliam Darcy as her husband.

  He threw off his covers and lit a candle from the banked fire. There was no time like the present.

  The letter was first inscribed. The eloquence that came at Darcy’s command whenever Miss Elizabeth was concerned gave wings to his pen. Within an hour the letter was done. And just in time. Darcy glanced toward the window. Dawn was breaking. A very pleasant dawn with a scattering of glowing clouds. It would be
cold but that, he knew, would not deter Miss Elizabeth. She could not walk later, or she would risk meeting with her detractors.

  Darcy rang the bell to summon his valet, and sent a yawning servant to the stables with a message to prepare his horse.

  There was no guarantee that Miss Elizabeth would be out walking this chill morning. There was only hope. For Darcy, hope was a vitally important element of his future planning. He hoped that Miss Elizabeth would not think casting Darcy from her mind was an essential part of overcoming the memories of the last few weeks. He hoped she would come to regard him as he regarded her – as the single most important person in his life.

  He frowned to himself as his horse picked its own way down the familiar road. So preoccupied was he that he did not see the light feminine figure in his path until she cried out and leapt away.

  “Mr. Darcy! Sir, pay attention!”

  Darcy startled and near to fell at the sound of the beloved and familiar voice.

  He hoped… and there she was.

  “Miss Elizabeth. Forgive me.” Darcy dismounted and hurried around his horse to face her. “Please assure me you are unharmed?”

  “A little surprised, I will own, but otherwise undamaged.”

  She straightened the shawl draped over her pelisse and touched her fur-lined hood to be certain it was still in place. All this she did without looking at Darcy.

  “Oh, that is good news.” Darcy stopped and stared, suddenly bereft of speech as he had been from his childhood. Thank God he had not been tongue tied when it had been vital to rescue Miss Elizabeth. Obviously when life and liberty were at stake he was freed from his dreadful debilitating muteness.

  And the eloquence recently praised by his uncle that defeated the legal representatives of Meryton and Hunsford - gone! All he could do was stare into her fine eyes and wish. Gathering what remained of his courage he forced out a breath.

  “Miss Elizabeth.” Darcy bowed, not certain if he had already done so, and added: “I am pleased to see you.”

  “Mr. Darcy.” That adorable dimple appeared and vanished. Her expression became guarded and downcast.

  “Miss Elizabeth. Not for the world would I be the cause of pain for you. Are you certain you are unharmed?”

  “Do not trouble yourself, Mr. Darcy. If these last weeks have taught me nothing else, I am not long cast down.”

  “Praise be that it is so.”

  “I had thought you were quitting the neighborhood,” said Miss Elizabeth.

  “Not permanently, Miss Elizabeth,” said Darcy and blushed at the breathlessness in his own voice. “That was never my intention.”

  “Oh, yes. The wedding. Jane and Mr. Bingley.” Elizabeth nodded to herself. “They will be happy that you have arrived in good time. But, you will not be staying long.”

  Darcy blinked at this blatant dismissal. Of course, that meant she hadn't heard the news that his betrothal was non-existent!

  “After all,” continued Miss Elizabeth. “Jane and Mr. Bingley shall be honeymooning at Netherfield.”

  “Oh, yes.” Darcy’s thoughts raced. If he left after the wedding, and before Bingley brought his new wife home, what excuse could he use to return and how long would he have to stay away? And there was Caroline Bingley. That woman would expect him to escort her to London and how would that look to the gossips of Meryton! What could he do?

  Oh, yes.

  He smiled down at Elizabeth. “Do not tell anyone, but Bingley is taking Jane away. To London. I have put my London House at his disposal. I think they shall enjoy the distance from their friends and acquaintances during this time of adjustment.”

  “Good heavens! Who would have thought Mr. Bingley could keep all that a secret from Jane?”

  “Because I have kept it a secret from him,” lied Darcy. “He asked my advice and I agreed to aid him, but did not give him the particulars. Does your Sister enjoy the theater? I have a box they might use.”

  “This is very kind of you, Mr. Darcy. I am sure they will both be grateful.”

  “Excellent, then I shall tell Bingley all when next I see him.” He extended his elbow toward Elizabeth. “Like as not he shall be at Longbourn for breakfast, as usual.”

  She laughed at him. “Oh, to be certain. Perhaps we should return…”

  “I am in no hurry and, if I am not mistaken, you have not taken your usual morning stroll.”

  He waved his hand at the long and rutted path that lead toward Oakham Mount, two miles distant.

  “Well, I had considered that, but, truly Mr. Darcy, there is no obligation upon you to accompany me.”

  She turned her gaze away and did not reach for the support of his arm. Her manner, her air suddenly unwelcoming and distant. What had he done wrong?

  “I feel I must,” he said, in a light tone, but she did not smile. Did not turn to face him.

  This was not going the way he’d hoped. Why was she suddenly to cross and stern? Did she fear aspersions being cast upon her character, if seen in his company? The memory of those two gossiping cats suggesting he might offer Elizabeth a slip on the shoulder returned.

  Damn them. All the proprieties must be maintained.

  “No. Indeed not.”

  “Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy near to moaned the name. “Please do not send me away, my dear!”

  “I am not your dear,” wept Elizabeth. “Do not toy with me. I will not have it.” Gathering her strength and her composure, she stepped away. “I think you should leave immediately after the wedding. Do you not have your own nuptials to prepare for? Is not your fiancée awaiting your return? I shall not keep you.”

  She turned and was about to flee when Darcy hurried to stand before her.

  “Miss Elizabeth. Oh, my God, forgive me. Not for anything would I cause you pain!”

  “Why did you come back?” she demanded. “I was resigned to your absence. I wished you well. And now you return to reopen the wound. That is cruel, sir. Cruel!”

  There was a time of silence broken only by Elizabeth’s sobs.

  “My dear, please do not cry…” began Darcy, trying to gather her into his arms, but Elizabeth pushed away, turned and started back up the path.

  “Elizabeth, please wait!”

  When she halted Darcy took a few steps toward her. “I wish I could speak. I wish I could tell you all that is in my heart, but… I…”

  “You have other obligations. Other duties. Yes. You should go. Go now and tend them. I shall see to my family.”

  And she set off running down the lane.

  “No. No!” cried Darcy. “I shall not leave. I shall haunt this lane until you hear me out.”

  She took a few more steps before stopping.

  “Speak, if you must,” she said without turning. “And then I shall request you speak no more to me.”

  Darcy ignored the impatient pacing of his horse and kept his gaze steady on hers as he covered the distance between them. Once near he caught up her gloved hand and holding it between both of his, he knelt in the road.

  “Dearest, loveliest, Elizabeth. You have the brightest spirit, the bravest soul I have ever witnessed. Please permit me to tell you how ardently I love and adore you. I beg you, relieve my suffering and loneliness, and consent to be my beloved wife! I swear I shall endeavor to make you happy for the length of our lives.”

  Instead of consenting with cries of joy Elizabeth stood and stared. When she recovered the power of speech she pulled her hand out of his grip.

  “What of your cousin, Anne de Bourgh?”

  “I am not under any obligation to marry Anne and she does not expect it.”

  “But my father told me…”

  “Yes, I thought he might.” Darcy stood and dusted off his breeches. “But when I reached London, let me only say that dealing with Lady Catherine did not require my marrying her daughter after all.”

  “That is unkind, sir. Poor Miss Anne. How can you think of her so little and disappoint her? My cousin, Mr. Collins, assured us that your ma
rriage to Miss Anne was an expected thing.”

  “But it is not. Not by Anne. Not by myself. I am by no means, not by honor, nor by proposal, bound to Anne.”

  “I do not believe you, Sir.” With that she turned to go. “The only person I would believe would be Miss Anne, herself!”

  Darcy waited until she was almost within Longbourn’s gate before calling after her a second time.

  “Miss Elizabeth. Tell me, is that your only objection?”

  She stopped, looked back and all her heart was in her eyes, then she vanished within.

  Darcy held back a cry of triumph only because he had no wish to explain himself to any witness. Then he went in search of his wandering horse. He had another letter to send to London.

  Another two, if he counted the letter to his London staff, to prepare the house for a set of newlyweds.

  ***

  Bingley was delighted when he was informed of Darcy’s impulsive wedding gift.

  “I know Jane will be pleased.”

  “Certainly,” said Darcy. “Knowing your mother-in-law as we do, she would not wait two days after the wedding before descending to instruct you both on the hanging of curtains and commanding of servants.”

  Bingley gave a delicate shudder at the thought of that intrusion upon his privacy.

  “Yes, it would be as well to be far from Netherfield until Jane and I are more comfortable with each other. How long shall you give us Darcy House?”

  “A month complete. That will give you time to take a few trips to the theater and enjoy the shops.”

  “Excellent. Darcy, you are a good friend.” Bingley gave Darcy a narrow look. “And where shall you be during this time?”

  “I have business with my uncle, the Earl. Oh, I do not know if she has told you, but my aunt, the Countess of Matlock, has issued an invitation to Miss Bingley. She also shall be gone from Netherfield when you return.“

  “You are good to me, Darcy. I had feared having both of them in the house.”

  “Done and done!” Darcy was silent for a moment then: “If you would do a similar favor for me, Bingley, might you suggest to her father that now would be a good time for Miss Elizabeth to go to London. I met her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner at Longbourn last night. They might issue an invitation for her to stay for a few weeks.”