the Trouble with Hate is...

by Elizabeth Stevens

  I practically skipped to my locker, giving people an extra smile and nod as I passed.

  Trent found me and he laughed. “Well, someone’s chipper this morning.”

  I grinned. “Ah, you know, mate. Sometimes, life’s good.”

  Trent shook his head. “Your final piece going well then?”

  I waved my head in a slightly less committal gesture. “Eh, I’ve pulled in some help, and it’s going better than it was.”

  “I suspect here comes that help now.” He smiled ruefully.

  I turned and saw Lani walking past me. She caught my eye as she and Bec went by and I could have sworn something passed between us. It was more than just bad shit after the night before. It was bridges crossed and burned and about a thousand steps forward. My heart lurched, but it was warm and it made me unable to stop smiling. I saw her smile before she turned away again.

  “We’re in for frigid temperatures,” Trent commented dryly and I threw him a quizzical look as I pulled books out of my locker.

  “What?”

  “Well, if you and Lani are getting on again, hell must have frozen over.” He cackled and slapped me on the back, saying, “I’ll see you in class, dude,” as he walked after Lani and Bec.

  I shook my head as I watched him put his arms around both girls and they both threw him off in almost perfect sync. It did make me wonder how much he liked her, though. I mean, Trent could be relentless even as a joke, but even this seemed excessive by his standards. More because he was being such a gentleman about it than anything else. I also wondered if Lani had any idea he was currently entertaining the notion of courting her. Or if she was as casually oblivious to Trent’s amorous intents as she was about Holt’s lack of redeeming qualities.

  I saw her only briefly through the morning, and each time she looked more and more down. I texted Mum in third lesson to see how Brett was. I’m not sure what I expected back, but I was nervous enough that I paid attention to Maths. Finally, just before the end of lesson, I got a response.

  Mum: He’s asleep. He’s been awake, but not spoken to anyone. I went in with some food and he looked about as good as you could expect, but he ate it. John and Georgie are on their way home, but are rethinking Saturday night. I’m sorry you had to get caught up in this, honey. How’s Lani?

  Me: He’s my best mate, who else should? I dunno. She seemed okay. I’ll see her next lesson, though.

  Mum: Well, she’s strong, she’ll be fine, hun. We’ll see you tonight. I’ll let you know if there’s anything to know. Love you.

  Me: Love you, too.

  I shoved my phone away and packed up my books with a sigh.

  “You good, dude?” Nick asked.

  I nodded. “Sure, mate.”

  “Your piece?”

  I put on a laugh. “Why are all you pussies worried about my piece?”

  He shrugged. “How will I tell the world I know the famous Casper Drake if he fails Year Twelve?” he chuckled.

  I shook my head, slapped his hand, and headed for the dance studios. I got there before Lani and went through some of the chorie without bothering to change; I doubted either of us were really in the mood for anything too strenuous. She finally wandered in after fifteen minutes, looking much like she had the night before.

  “Well, hey slacker,” I laughed, hoping to take her mind off her troubles.

  “Yeah, hey…” she said, dropping her bag.

  “Oh, come on!” I goaded. “One smile. Hey?”

  She looked at me and her face was stony as she pulled her hair up. Well, I wasn’t having any of that. I chucked Aminata on and pulled her into a dance. Not our choried piece, just whatever happened.

  Her hair tumbled around her shoulders and her hair tie flew off somewhere as I twirled her. She glared at me and tried to pull out of my arms.

  “Oh, no, little Lani. None of that.”

  “Cas–”

  I stopped our momentum with her hard up against me and made her look at me.

  “You don’t have to worry,” I said, looking into those gorgeous hazel eyes; so much more brown than green for so damned long.

  “That’s easy for you to say. You aren’t capable of worry,” she huffed.

  “Lani, that’s not–”

  “It’s probably better for you anyway. Less competition, yeah?” She made to pull away, but I held her close.

  I bit my tongue against my usual sort of retort, and fuck did that cause me some effort.

  “Our worrying isn’t going to help him, Lei…” I said quietly.

  I brushed a piece of hair out of her face, trailing my finger down her cheek, her neck, over her chest and watched with humour as her eyes widened in question.

  “If I remember correctly, I have a competition to win,” I said slowly.

  A hint of a smile played at her lips and her eyes regained some of their lustre. “You wish, Drake,” she replied, pressing up against me. “Thinking of pizza, are we?”

  I closed my eyes and grimaced against a smile. “I am now. Thanks.”

  Her hand ran down my chest and stopped at the top of my pants. My eyes flew open to look at her and I knew how surprised I’d look. With a conniving grin, her hand started downwards, sliding over the front of my hip. Painfully slowly, she reached up, pressing her body against what was fast becoming a raging hard on.

  “You still so sure you’re gonna win this?” she asked, her lips brushing against my ear before she dragged them down and kissed my neck.

  “Uh,” I cleared my throat. “Naturally. After all, you learnt everything from me…”

  Her leg went around my hip and my hands moved in place to dip her and swing her around. She hit my chest hard, her eyes giving off a smoulder that gave me a run for my money.

  She nipped my earlobe and whispered, “Did I?”

  Needing to get some control back over the situation – in both my head and my pants – I swung her into another dance.

  And, from there, the competition only ramped.

  At lunch, she detoured past me in the hallway to press herself against me and whisper “pizza” in my ear so seductively I was never going to be able to look at pizza the same way again. I retaliated by putting my arm around her and dipping my mouth to her neck.

  “Yeah, you sure that’s pizza or you, Lei?” I replied meaningfully and just as seductively.

  Gratifyingly, I felt her tense. But, I knew it wasn’t just that old discomfort with touching people. How did I know? Her hand tightened on my shoulder, not loosened. I saw Coop walk past behind her, frowning. So, what did I do? I was a mature young adult.

  “Do you remember those excellent, yellow ‘Shake Your Tail Feather’ costumes?” I whispered in her ear, my arm tightening around her.

  As I’d predicted, she broke out into a sweetly genuine smile and laughed. She pulled away to look at me for a second before she buried her face in my shoulder to try to stem the laughter. I gave Coop a self-satisfactory look over her head as I put my other arm around her.

  “You up for some footy on the oval, Drake?” Ashford asked, skipping up to us.

  Lani came up for air, still laughing and I was sure her eyes were about to tear up she was laughing so hard.

  “Oh…Lani…” I saw Ashford give me quizzical look. “I didn’t realise you… Hi…”

  She waved a hand at him. “Hey, Ash,” she giggled. “I’ll see you guys later.”

  Ashford watched her go and then looked at me again, still with that quizzical expression.

  “What?” I asked, starting to walk off and he followed.

  “That was… She okay?”

  I nodded. “Just reminiscing on some of our less optimal dance costumes.”

  Ashford’s look of confusion was replaced by a grin. “Oh, sweet. Hey…”

  I let him babble as we headed for the oval, trying to plot my next move on Lani; I had to keep her smiling, no matter what.

  Which was easier said th
an done.

  She was fine the whole way home until I pulled into the driveway, and Emma had said her goodbyes and hopped out of the car. Then, her face crumpled and she reached for my hand. Figuring it was one of those times I shouldn’t say anything and just be there, I kept my big mouth shut.

  Finally, she sighed and gently extricated her hand from mine. “I guess we should go assess the damage.”

  “I’m right with you, Lei.”

  She nodded.

  We got out of the car and headed into her place.

  And, I wanted to punch the right git in his smarmy face.

  Brett was sitting in the living room, watching television and grinned up at us like nothing had happened. I could almost feel the anger simmering off Lani beside me.

  “You miss me?” he asked.

  Lani just pushed past me and thundered up the stairs to her room. Brett and I stared in that direction until her door slammed and we both looked to each other.

  “What’s got her in a mood?” he huffed a laughed and turned back to the television.

  I came this close to ripping him a new one, but refrained, not wanting to push him when he was obviously fragile. Instead, I chuckled.

  “I dunno, mate. She’s your sister.”

  We chatted for a bit longer, then I headed home. I’d texted Lani to see if she was okay, but she hadn’t replied and I could take a hint that she needed space.

  So, I was surprised when I heard my balcony door open at about one in the morning. I was lying in bed, one arm behind my head, and staring at the ceiling.

  “You decent?” she asked.

  I grinned. “For once.”

  I didn’t tell her it was because I’d been tossing up going to her and hoping she’d come to me.

  She climbed in beside me and I put my arm out for her to lay her head on. She put a hand up on my chest and I took it with mine, lacing our fingers together as best I could despite the awkward angle.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked quietly.

  “Nope.”

  I felt her nod and we lay in companionable silence until we fell asleep, and I woke with my arm over her waist. I kissed her shoulder and that was the beginning of another day of amped-up trying to out-flirt each other; all through school, through dance that night, it continued right through Friday and most of Saturday until the little get together Brett had organised and wouldn’t let John and Georgie reschedule. He made them still go away, even after everything. Although how he managed that, I didn’t know.

  But, as usual, the party was a rager and I lost track of a lot more than just Lani until much later.

  Chapter Ten

  Lani

  “Well, well, what do we have here?” a vaguely condescending and very humoured voice said.

  The fact that my first instinct was not to hide it as soon as I heard someone’s voice, but to respond, “Piss off, Drake,” showed just how drunk I was. Or, maybe I just didn’t care anymore.

  And, after the week I’d just had, not caring was a shoe-in.

  Casper chuckled. “And what would Brett say if he found you?”

  I looked up at him and saw him throw his jacket on the outdoor bed-thing beside me. He grinned down at me with that aggravatingly handsome smile. In the semi-darkness, I couldn’t see how dark his hair was or how green his eyes were, but that hair flopped annoyingly endearingly over his forehead and I knew those eyes shone. He was stupidly attractive, and he knew it. Which only served to make him even more attractive. Shame about the personality.

  “Aren’t you cold?” I asked, taking another puff.

  “Hmm,” Casper mused, “no, you’ve got a blanket. So, I doubt he’d be concerned you were cold.”

  “Piss off, Drake,” I repeated, not really caring what my big brother would think just then.

  He plonked down beside me. “If you’re going to be so charming, the least you can do is share,” he said, holding his hand out.

  I sighed and passed him the joint with a wry smile. Casper liked to think he was a bad boy. But, let’s just see how bad he was once he took a toke of that. Sure, he’d had a cigarette once or twice, but this wasn’t really his thing. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he took a long, slow drag. He held the smoke in his mouth and looked at me with a grin.

  “Why, Lei,” he breathed out, “jokes aside, I didn’t take you for a toker.”

  “You’ve only known me my whole life, Drake. There are bound to be things you don’t know about me,” I said sarcastically, taking the joint back from him. “Too much for the prima wannabe bad boy?”

  “I couldn’t possibly be as bad as the punk rebel loner,” he scoffed.

  “I distinctly remember telling you to piss off.”

  He chuckled again and put an arm around me, reaching over and taking the joint from my hand.

  “Ugh, don’t you have some other girl to put your hands all over, tonight?” I tried to shrug him off, but his arm was too damned heavy. Casper and his damned muscles.

  “Not presently. Don’t you like my hands on you, Lei?” he asked. “You haven’t seemed to mind…”

  “I think that’s enough for you,” I responded and leant over him to take the joint back.

  He laughed and held his hand out of my reach.

  “Ugh, Casper, you are such a…” He laughed again as I turned around to reach for it and he kept his hand out of reach. “Casper, stop being a pain in my arse!”

  My hand finally reached his and I found myself straddling him, our faces way too close. My heart hammered in my chest as I looked at him and I told myself I’d had enough that night as well, that was the only explanation. It wasn’t almost a week’s worth of fake flirtation and heat.

  I snatched the joint from him and put it out before putting it away.

  “Lani…” Casper reached for me but I scrambled up, suddenly not in the mood for our particular brand of banter.

  But, the ground was slippery and I lost my balance. Casper slid across the bed, yelling my name and grabbing hold of me before I fell. Except, I didn’t want nor need saving from the likes of him, so I pulled away. Typical me, I lost my balance again and Casper’s arms tightened around me. Only problem was, I was standing on the edge of the pool. Casper and I shared one knowing glance before I had a chance to take a deep breath and we plunged into the freaking freezing water.

  I found my way to the surface and spluttered water out of my mouth with a scream. My momentary panic at Casper’s whereabouts disappeared entirely when I saw his head break the surface. And saw he was laughing. I splashed water in his face, yelling in frustration, and dragged myself to the side of the pool and pulled myself out.

  “Damn girl, you’re athletic.”

  “Shut up, Drake,” I snapped, grabbing my phone and smokes tin and sloshing to the thankfully empty pool house – winter was the only time the boys threw shenanigans and the pool and pool house were blessedly empty.

  “Where you going, Angel?” Casper called, pulling out my old nickname, and I heard him sloshing after me. “Leilani!”

  “To get warm before I freeze to death because of you, you dipshit!” I yelled, opening the door with my shaking hands. Damn it was cold!

  I was about to slam the door in his stupid face when every stupid thing I felt for stupid Casper Drake slammed into me and I knew I couldn’t leave him out in the cold, soaking wet. If I sent him into the house, he’d get distracted and catch a chill in his cold clothes.

  “Get inside. I’ll find you a towel.”

  “Oh! Getting me naked, Lani? You just had to ask.”

  I hit him none too gently. “Shut up before I rethink how much I’d actually miss you if you died from hypothermia.”

  Casper gave me a cheeky grin and I rolled my eyes. But, he said no more, closed the door behind us and started pulling off his shoes. I kicked off my shoes and went to the fireplace and turned the gas on, but the fire did nothing to warm the chill in my bones.


  My fingers were shaking so much, I couldn’t get the zip on my hoodie undone and there was no way I could pull it over my head; it was too tight and seriously not stretchy. I heard Casper snicker and turned to him.

  “What? The zip’s stuck!” I snapped.

  “Yeah, sure,” he said with that stupid smile. He waved me towards him. “Here, let me help, you spaz.”

  “You’re the spaz,” I grumbled but let him take my zipper.

  God, I was so cold, but there was something about Casper that was always so warm. He got my zip undone and started pushing my hoodie off my shoulders, his hands running down my skin as he pushed my top down. Meanwhile, I couldn’t take my eyes off his. They flickered ridiculous warmth in the light of the fire and I was mesmerised.

  Mesmerised enough not to notice my hoodie was off until I was reaching for Casper’s t-shirt. As I helped him get it off, I told myself it was only because it was good for him; we needed to get out of our wet clothes and warm up, that was all. It had nothing to do with the fact he had a drool-worthy body because – let’s face it – he was my big brother’s best friend, the intensely annoying dipshit I’d known my whole life and daydreamed about smacking in the face with a brick on more occasions than not.

  Yet, I was still staring into his eyes and I did nothing to stop him when he took hold of the bottom of my singlet and started pulling it up. I took my hands off where they were resting on his chest and lifted my arms up to help him lift it over my head.

  There was none of the usual sarcasm or humour on Casper Drake’s face, he was serious and he was seriously smouldering. Which is the only reason I can give to how I found myself reaching up – the boy was tall – with my arms around his neck and kissing him like my life depended on it. Traitorously, my chest fluttered and a pleasant tingle shot through me as his hand trailed down my back, coming to rest firmly in the small of my back and drawing me closer to him.