Starting From Scratch (Starting From Series Book 2)

by Lane Hayes

  I licked him again. “Is this okay?”

  Ky nodded. “It’s so fuckin’ good.”

  “I can do better,” I assured him before swallowing him whole.

  He grabbed on to a fistful of my hair for purchase and swayed into me as I sucked him like a pro. I jacked myself as I worked him over, loving his smell and taste. I have to admit, I was a master at the art of giving a blowjob. It wasn’t just about sucking dick. Technique was crucial. The subtle twist of a wrist, a soft hum, and a little eye contact went a long way. They were a good buildup before bringing out the big guns, like massaging your lover’s hole while you deep throated him. Ky fucking loved it. His eyes widened comically as I wrapped my lips around his shaft and tapped his entrance.

  Then there was the tease method, where you sucked like a madman and then slowed down to leisurely stroke him until he was so overcome with lust that he held you still while he fucked your mouth. The balance of power could be precarious, but I was usually good about maintaining control. Not this time. I was too turned-on. Ky didn’t hold anything back. He pumped his hips wildly, and I did my best to give him everything I had.

  I practically vibrated with desire, and I was pretty sure my dick had never been this hard before in my life. Every moan, every tug at my hair or caress on my jaw made me want to give him a little more. When Ky pulled off to trace the crease of my mouth like he was painting my lips with precum, I shivered and glanced up, waiting for permission or a sign of some sort that he wanted more.

  “I need to be inside you, Char,” he said in a gravelly tone.

  “Oh, my…yes. Fuck me.” I gulped, then set my hand on his thigh. “Wait. Do you know how?”

  Ky barked a quick laugh and gave me a devilish smile that made me weak at the knees. “Yeah. I know how.”

  He crashed his mouth over mine as he pulled me to my feet before falling sideways onto his mattress. He rolled on top of me and showered me with kisses. Then he leaned over and reached for something on his nightstand. My hole puckered at the telltale click of a lube bottle. I wanted him inside so damn bad, it wasn’t funny. I tried to tell myself this was a terrible idea, but I was too far gone. I didn’t even care that he had limited experience with men. Actually, I kinda liked that. If he needed me to take over or tell him what to do, I would. However, he seemed pretty damn sure of himself when he crawled between my legs and hiked my knees toward my stomach before brushing a single digit over my entrance.

  My breath caught when he pushed inside. “Slow.”

  “Trust me, Char. I got you. If I go too fast, tell me. I don’t want to hurt you.” Ky pulled his finger out and pushed in again, twisting it ever so slightly. He kept up a steady stream of sweet dirty nothings as he finger-fucked me, adding a second digit and then a third. The porny kind I loved. “You’re so tight;” “Open up for me, baby;” “That’s it, let me in. I wanna fuck that sweet hole.”

  It wasn’t Shakespeare, but it turned me into a needy puddle of mush. Sweat beaded his forehead and mine. I held my legs open wider still when he poured lube over our cocks and my hole. He covered me again, propping his hands on either side of my head. I clutched at his ass and bit his chin as he rocked his hips, so his cock slid alongside mine. The combination of friction and heat was explosive. I arched off the bed, grabbing his hair before driving my tongue between his lips. Ky hummed in approval and upped his tempo. He slowed to lick my neck, inching back until his cock nudged my entrance.

  We froze and stared into each other’s eyes as we gasped for air. I had no idea what he saw in mine, but I was pretty sure no one had ever looked at me the way Ky did just then…with an unchecked, feverish desire. Like he didn’t just want me, he needed me. And the moment depended on immediate action. No further discussion required.

  So when he pressed the tip of his dick at my hole, I spread my ass open in invitation and nodded.

  “Do it.”

  He shivered in response and rested his forehead on mine before slowly making his way inside me. He paused a couple of times to give me a chance to acclimate to his girth. I wanted to claim I didn’t need it ’cause this certainly wasn’t my first rodeo, but Ky was thick. He distracted me with sweet kisses and sexy words of encouragement, telling me how good I felt and how much he wanted me. How much he’d always wanted me.

  When he was balls deep inside me, Ky rose on his elbows, bending to brush his nose over mine. I could feel my body stretch to accommodate him as he rocked his pelvis suggestively.

  “You feel amazing. So fucking incredible. Can I move?”

  The low husky timbre rumbled through my chest. I swallowed hard and licked my lips. “Yes. Fuck me.”

  He pulled almost all the way out and surged forward. I moaned, lifting my legs higher. He continued the gentle tease…in and out, slow and deliberate, letting the fever grow hotter still.

  When I finally gave up and begged, Ky hummed in my ear and whispered, “Say it again. And this time, say my name.”

  “Fuck me.”

  “Say my name,” he repeated, pulling out again.

  “Fuck you.”

  He chuckled and slammed forward, grabbing my wrists. “Try again, baby.”

  “Fuck me, Ky. Please, please.”

  He kissed me hard and obeyed, setting a moderate pace that made my toes curl before finally letting go. Ky bucked his hips hard, fucking me in short, quick strokes as he recited the dirtiest litany of compliments I’d ever heard about myself. Well, about my ass in particular. When I pulled my hands from his grasp and wrapped my arms around his neck, he scooped me in a tight embrace, so I sat in his lap. I straddled his thighs and rode him, sliding up and down on his pole as I stroked my cock and sucked his tongue.

  Ky held my ass, controlling the pace for a while before lying down and letting me take over. I supposed everyone had their favorite positions, and this was definitely mine. I was a big fan of bottoming from the top…literally. I sat up tall and leaned back slightly with my hands on his thighs, then rode him to the finish line. I let my cock bounce against his stomach a couple of times. I wanted to hold out for as long as possible, and I knew I’d be a goner if I touched myself. Or if Ky touched me. And I was.

  He took me in a firm grip and jacked my cock as he fucked me from below with his feet flat on the mattress. His hungry expression no doubt matched mine. My spine tingled and my vision blurred.

  “I’m…I’m gonna…”

  “I need you to come for me, Char, ’cause I—oh fuck!” Ky roared when his release slammed into him a moment later.

  And I was right there with him. I squeezed my eyes closed and fell apart, shooting ropes of cum over his hand and torso. I might have hit his chin too, but he pulled me against his chest and rolled me to my back before I got a good look. He crashed his mouth over mine and pumped his hips slowly until we both stopped trembling.

  It took me a couple of minutes to shake out of my sex-induced haze. I was worn out and wrung out, physically and mentally. I knew there’d be consequences to what we’d just done, but damn, it felt so good. I wanted to float on this cloud with Ky’s arms around me, his cock in my ass, and his cum dripping from—

  “Oh, my God.” I pushed at his chest and buried a scream behind one hand when he moved, gesturing wildly at his spent penis with the other.

  He propped himself on one elbow and grabbed his junk, squinting as he examined himself. “What is it?”

  “No condom,” I squeaked.

  “Oh.” He sat up abruptly and pushed his hair behind his ear. “Fuck.”

  My stomach turned. I felt faint and sick as panic rose, chasing away the lingering buzz of pleasure. “Oh, geez. I’ve never done this before. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I had a plan, and this definitely wasn’t it.”

  “Relax, Char.” Ky ran a soothing hand along my spine. “What plan?”

  “Relax? I can’t relax and I can’t tell you my plan because you’re not supposed to be part of my plan. Oh, my God.” I took a deep breath and set two fingers
on my neck.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Checking my pulse. I’m having a post-sex panic attack. This can’t be good for me.”

  Ky pursed his lips as he reached for my wrist.

  “Let me do it. You’re a fucking drama queen, you know that? This isn’t the end of the world. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s more than okay. We just got tested, remember? I’m clean and…your heart rate is post-sex normal,” he said, throwing my words at me with a twinkle in his eyes. “You’re fine. Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

  Ky kissed my temple, then headed for the adjoining bathroom. He returned with a towel a moment later. It pained me to admit it, but his good-natured grin and show of nonchalance went a long way toward easing my nerves. But still…

  “We have to get tested.”

  Ky sat beside me and handed over the towel and washcloth. “I just got tested last week. We all did, remember? You insisted on health insurance for the band and made us go for physicals ’cause you said it would lower the premium. I got my blood results two days ago. I’m clean. What about you?”

  “Same. And you’re the only one I’ve been with. When was the last time you…you know…?” I circled my wrist and made a face as though I couldn’t think of the phrase.

  “Had sex?” he suggested with an amused stare.

  “Yeah.”

  Ky pursed his lips in a failed attempt to keep from laughing. “Well, I had the solo variety this morning in the shower and—”

  “Good to know,” I snarked.

  “And the partner variety with you a couple of times this week.”

  “What about before the test?”

  Ky snorted. “I don’t see how that matters since I was recently tested, but it’s probably been six weeks, maybe seven.”

  “With the girlfriend.”

  “The ex-girlfriend,” he corrected. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

  “You’re fucking hysterical,” I grumbled, smacking his arm when he threw his head back and laughed. “How is this funny? Why aren’t you freaking out? Do you realize what we just did?”

  Ky pounced on top of me and wrestled my arms over my head. “Yeah. I was there and I’m not gonna apologize, because that was by far the best orgasm I’ve had in years.”

  “Me too,” I agreed in a reverent tone.

  “You know, I’ve never done anything we did tonight. I’ve never been inside a man, and I’ve always used a condom.”

  “Me too. And I’m trying not to freak out about this but I think we should get tested again.”

  “You don’t believe me, do you?” Ky reached for his phone. “Here, take a look.”

  “You have your results on your cell?”

  “Well, it’s not my fuckin’ screensaver, but yeah. You just go to the email the clinic sends and boom, there it is.” Ky fell beside me and hooked his leg over mine. “Here.”

  “Your cholesterol is good,” I commented idly when he thrust his phone at me.

  “It’s excellent. Hey. Don’t make this dirty. We’re safe, we’re good, and we didn’t do anything wrong, Char. I have no regrets. You’re exactly the person I needed tonight.” Ky ran his fingers through my hair and tugged at a curl. “Thank you.”

  We stared at each other, lost in our own thoughts. It was on the tip of my tongue to downplay the sentiment of gratitude when sex was involved, but he looked so perfectly sincere. And a little raw too. Maybe we both were. I felt a connection to Ky I’d never had with anyone else.

  I traced his jawline, then caressed his stubbled chin. I opened my mouth to say God knows what when he set his hand on my hip and gently sealed his lips over mine. I closed my eyes, breathed him in, and let go of my fears. We kissed in a slow, unhurried give and take. There was no feverish rush or impatient scramble to conquer or consume.

  We settled beside each other with our legs tangled and talked for a while about silly things like movie star crushes and toys we coveted when we were kids. He chuckled when I told him about my prized Beanie Baby collection. His twinkling eyes and the sweet way he caressed my face as he asked a million questions made me feel gooey inside. I would have talked all night just to have him look at me like that. Like I was all he wanted.

  And later, when Ky pulled me close again, I had a feeling I’d met my match. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, but I didn’t think so. This felt too real.

  We held eye contact as he sheathed his cock, and when he rolled me onto my stomach and entered me from behind, I was almost overwhelmed by the intensity of the physical connection. The soft kisses along my shoulder and the languid rock of his hips pulled me under. I could hardly breathe, let alone think. But it didn’t matter. He was exactly the right person for me too…if only for tonight.

  6

  Ky

  Sunlight streamed through my apartment the next morning. I blinked against the glare on the granite countertop as I waited for my coffee to brew, idly checking messages. I scrolled through the missed calls and text notifications with practiced ease and stuck to deleting emails about holiday sales and ads for penis enhancement. I immediately wished Charlie was still here. He had a quirky appreciation for the absurd, and he couldn’t keep an opinion to himself to save his life. I set my phone down and shook my head irritably.

  I knew I’d wake up alone. But it still sucked.

  I had to stop thinking about him. I was torturing myself. I poured a cup of coffee and stared into space as memories of last night replayed in my head. I lost track of how many times we’d had sex. Charlie on top of me, underneath me, on his knees with his ass in the air, begging me for more. I was pretty sure he blew me this morning before he left too. I woke up with a sore dick and dried cum on my chest, feeling thoroughly debauched. I’d glanced at the indentation in the pillow next to mine and wished he was there. Truthfully, I’d have done the same thing. What was the point in sticking around for an awkward morning-after chat?

  So yeah, I should have been grateful he was gone. I had plenty of other things to worry about besides Charlie. Big things. Things I wanted to claim complete emotional immunity from, but I couldn’t. I hated my lack of apathy and my inability to remain cold and passive. Caring sucked.

  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t care about my old man or anyone who considered their contribution to anyone’s DNA a license to torment. He could rot in hell as far as I was concerned. I’d pay my respects when I joined him there. What got me every time was cleaning up the aftermath. The messy feelings bullshit. I wasn’t good at it. I never knew what to say or how to offer comfort. But I should have at least tried. I was a total asshole for not calling Karly last night. Then again, she knew I was a bull in a china shop when it came to talking about feelings. But I didn’t want or need emotional solace. I’d developed my own system for drowning out the noise. I didn’t need a bunch of meaningless rhetoric or drugs.…I had music. And Zero.

  The band gave me a reason to wake up without numbing myself first. It gave me a purpose and a creative outlet with a group of guys who already felt like more of a cohesive family unit than my flesh and blood one ever did. The Baldwins were a group of damaged individuals who’d shared a name and address years ago. Zero was the real thing. In less than a year, we’d bonded and grown as musicians and as a makeshift family of sorts. I felt closer to Justin, Johnny, and Tegan than I did to guys I’d known since junior high school who still hung out at the skate park getting high before work.

  I counted Charlie as an integral member of my newfound family. He was Zero’s rock. A very colorful, unexpectedly strong presence who’d provided us with a solid foundation and wings to fly. Charlie made Zero possible. I valued my place in the band, and I respected him far too much to jeopardize our goals, collectively or individually. But I still wanted him.

  One life-altering issue at a time, I chided myself. I reached for my cell before a fresh round of panic set in, then attached my earbuds and grabbed my mug before heading for the balcony and pressing Call.

  “Hey, Karly
,” I answered.

  “Fu-fudge, I was getting worried about you. I left at least ten messages, Ky,” she scolded before softening her tone. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. How long have you known, and do you think it’s true?”

  “A week and I’m not sure.” Karly sighed, but she didn’t push back. She knew our dad was a chronic liar as well as an asshole. He might be sick. He might even have cancer, but I wouldn’t put it past him to lie about his prognosis. “Mona wanted to make it sound like she tried to tell us together, but the timing didn’t work out. I told her you wouldn’t care, but I went along with it ’cause family is exhausting and it felt easier to agree. Unless…did you want me there when she told you about him?”

  I leaned on the balcony railing and watched a couple of surfers haul their boards into their trucks. “No. It’s cool.”

  “You know, I called Mona this morning when I didn’t hear from you.”

  “Why? To make sure I didn’t flake?” I scoffed.

  “Something like that,” she replied. “She said she met your boyfriend. A delightful young man with gorgeous curls named Charlie. What’s going on, Ky?”

  I smiled at her motherly tone. “Nothing. Why?”

  “Do not shut me out. Who did she meet, and what are you up to?”

  “I’m not up to anything, Sis. Mona met Zero’s manager.”

  “The guy I met in front of the ice cream shop?”

  “Yeah. We’d just come from a dinner with a label that didn’t go well. He needed the company and I needed a ride.” I slipped my phone into the front pocket of my gray sweat pants and cradled my mug with both hands, silently congratulating myself for making my earth-shaking evening seem so…routine.

  “O-kay, but why would she call him your boyfriend?”