by Amanda Cuff
Finally, she sighs, rolling her eyes and looking straight at me. “I’m not sure that staying with Drake is the best choice right now. He’s great, but Rachel showed up this morning and I kind of felt like I was intruding.”
“What do you mean? Did something happen?”
“No,” she’s quick to say. “I just don’t feel like that’s where I belong right now. Does the invitation still stand? For me to stay with you? All of us under one roof will be kind of awkward at first, but if we’re going to raise this baby together, we need to get to know each other better.”
Relief blooms in my chest at her words. Maybe if she moves in, she’ll see that we can make this thing work and she’ll stick around.
“Of course. You can stay as long as you want.”
You and the baby, I think. Our baby.
I can’t stop the smile that tilts my lips.
“Thank you,” she says.
“You don’t need to thank me. We’re in this thing together, right?” I reach across the table and grab her hands in mine.
When she looks at them joined, she smiles for just a moment before pulling away a second time. Her actions tell me exactly what I need to know and it fucking hurts.
“About us, Chase,” she begins. “I don’t think I’m ready for this to be…anything. There’s still too much to take care of right now, with Emily and Willow, and I don’t want to force ourselves into a box just because we’re having a child together. In fact, I think that responsibility just gives us more reason to take things slow.” She pauses, then snaps her head back up to mine looking stricken. “What will we tell people?”
“I don’t know. The truth?”
“But what will they think about us? About me?”
“What does it matter? The only opinions I care about are yours and Emily’s. Emily already invited you into our home. Most people in town already know the truth about her and me anyway. They don’t care.”
“Oh, they’ll care about this!”
“I won’t bullshit you. Will people talk? Sure. But I don’t think anyone will be malicious and if they are, fuck them. It’s none of their business,” I tell her.
She’s quiet, looking at me like I have no possible idea how hard this could be. She’s probably right. This is my home, my people. If anyone’s going to face backlash, it will be her, not me. And certainly not Emily.
Addison doesn’t know me well enough to know that I won’t let them say or do anything to her, which is exactly why she needs to stay in the first place. She needs to know she can trust me
“The way you left the cabins hurt, Chase. I know you’ve apologized and everything. And I want to forgive you, but I’m still working through that. I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Addison, and I don’t want to force anything between us either. Just know that I’m willing to put in the work if you are.” I lean forward and look at her with a silent plea. “Because if we give this a chance—a real, honest to god chance—I think we could turn into something amazing.”
10
Addison
“I can’t believe you’re already leaving me!” Drake’s face is twisted in agony, hand clenched to his chest as if I cut into between those perfect pecs and removed his heart myself. “Was it Kevin? ’Cause I swear I won’t feed him pizza again.”
I giggle and swat his arm, rolling my eyes at his theatrics. “You know exactly what this is about. I’m not here to make problems for you and Rachel.” I pause, considering the bigger issue at hand. “Besides, this is what I need to do. I’m about to have a baby with a man I don’t really know anything about, you know?”
Drake nods his head, looking a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry again about that whole Rachel thing. I didn’t know she was coming, so I hadn’t gotten around to telling her yet. It just took her by surprise.”
“You did have time to tell Olivia though.” I try to keep my tone matter of fact, hoping I don’t sound too harsh.
He opens his mouth to rebut, then closes it, so I continue.
“Hey, I’m not judging! I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know about your relationship, but luckily, the next six weeks of my schedule just opened up, so you’ll have plenty of time to fill me in.” I send him a big, over the top wink and he smirks.
“Yes, ma’am,” he says, grabbing the last bag from the room and leading me outside. He helps me get them loaded into the backseat and gives me a quick hug. “You always have a place here if you need,” he promises. “See you later.”
I drive the short distance to Chase’s house, half an hour earlier than I had planned to meet him. I expect the house to be empty and plan to take a walk while I wait, but when I pull into the driveway, I see Willow sitting on the front porch swing. I hesitate, unsure of what to do. Her angry gaze hits me immediately, so the chances of being able to pull out of the drive unnoticed are out the window.
At this point, I’ve sat in the car, locked into a stare-off with Willow, for at least a full minute. Things might get awkward if I just drive away. Sighing, I pull the keys out of the ignition and toss them into my purse. I get out of the car at a snail’s pace, bouncing my eyes from Willow to the ground and back up again.
I never knew a ten-year-old’s gaze could be so heavy, but I feel it in every bone in my body. It makes my heart ache. Chase said that he and Emily would tell her about the baby, and since her eyes keep fluttering to my stomach as I walk up to the porch, I can tell that they have.
“Hey, Willow,” I say softly. “Can I sit by you?”
Her eyes are still hard. I can feel them dissecting me, but she finally shrugs her shoulders and stills the swing so I can sit.
“Are you okay?” I ask her after a few minutes and again, she just shrugs, facing out into the yard. “Where’s your mom?”
“She fell asleep while we were watching a movie. I didn’t want to wake her.” Her eyes go to my belly again.
It’s not as flat as it was before, but it doesn’t really look like I’m pregnant either. I kind of just look like I’ve eaten too many breakfast tacos, which is pretty accurate anyway. Drake can cook a mean breakfast. I make a mental note to casually drop that into conversation with Olivia.
“My mom said you and my dad are having a baby.”
Oh, crap. Okay. We’re just going for this then.
I nod, not knowing what to say next as I’d prefer to talk to Chase or Emily before I go into details with their daughter. I have zero experience in knowing what’s appropriate or inappropriate to say in this situation and knowing me, I’d get it all wrong. Instead I dodge the comment and ask, “How’s your mom feeling today?”
Apparently, that was also the wrong thing to say, because she sighs and turns to me again. “Do you even care?” Her eyes are so pained that they bring tears to mine.
“Of course I care, Willow.” I reach my hand out to comfort her, but she pulls away, jumping from her seat and running into the house. Sagging against the back of the swing, I let the tears fall, shame and regret washing over me.
When I left my old life behind, I was ready to shake things up. I wanted change. To be given the opportunity to feel alive and live a life I was proud of. I never imagined that goal would bring me to a place where my happiness was bringing others sadness. As I mull it over, Chase’s truck pulls into the drive. I wipe at my cheeks, thankful I didn’t put makeup on this morning. Then, I take a deep breath and hope that my eyes aren’t bloodshot from the tears. I can barely muster a shaky smile before the corners of my mouth drop back down.
When he makes it onto the porch, he’s quiet, sitting down on top of the wood porch railing and dragging his hands down the length of his jeans.
“I’m going to guess the talk with Willow didn’t go so well last night,” I say.
He grimaces and shakes his head. “Why? Have you seen her this morning?”
“Yeah, she was kind of upset. Do you think I should leave?”
He sighs and hangs his head
low before eventually righting himself and moving to sit beside me on the swing. “I was so excited for her to have a brother or sister, I guess I assumed she’d be just as excited. I think she will be once all of this settles down. For now, I think the fear of change is just a lot to take in.”
He grabs one of my hands in his, its warmth making me realize that mine are now ice cold.
He must notice, because he reaches out to grab the other one too, turning me toward him. “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here and get to know the beautiful, vibrant girl that she is. She just needs time, but I know asking you for patience right now is probably unfair.”
“No, Chase, it’s not. I don’t expect her to be okay with everything right away. I’m not sure any of us are. We’re just doing our best to navigate this crazy ride we’re on.”
“We know Willow has a lot of adjusting right now, but we’ve always chosen to be upfront and honest with her and we won’t change that now.”
I nod and pull my hands from his, turning back to face forward.
“I’m sorry I got you into this mess,” he says.
“I was a willing participant.” I shrug.
He nods with an ornery grin that tells me he remembers exactly how willing I was. His eyebrows do a corny little wiggle that has me laughing along with him.
I gently knock the toes of my boots against the ground to move the swing. At first, it resists because of Chase’s boots rooted to the ground. When he notices what I’m doing, he pushes up and slowly starts rocking us.
“Do you even ride motorcycles?” I suddenly ask, realizing he’s wearing the same motorcycle boots he had on when we met.
The first time I laid eyes on him, I was so busy trying to hide my nipples from his broody eyes that I didn’t pay much attention to his choice of footwear. But now that I’ve gotten to know him better, they seem so out of place.
“Huh?” His eyes narrow in confusion then drop to his feet before he laughs.
It’s his deep, sexy laugh. The one that hooked me from the very beginning and the one that, even now, lights my belly on fire.
Why does this man turn me on so much by simply just being?
“Willow bought them for me. I needed new boots, so she got these for me for Christmas. I suppose my mother didn’t care to explain to her that these weren’t the kind of boots I needed. So, I just wear them.”
I try my best not to swoon, but he says it so nonchalantly, as if it’s not one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard. He could have just as easily returned them or stuck them in the back of his closet, but instead, he’s worn them almost every day I’ve seen him. Knowing Chase, he probably doesn’t even realize how adorable that is.
“Speaking of my truck,” he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his keys. “Here.” He opens one of my palms and plops them into my hand.
“We weren’t talking about your truck,” I say, confused, my hand tightening around the sharp metal instinctively, even though I have no idea why he handed them to me.
“We weren’t. But the way your eyes just lit up, I was reminded of how fucking beautiful you were in the back of my truck, under the stars, telling me how passionate you were about opening your dance studio. Did you?”
“I, um…what?” I manage to stutter out, unable to keep up with all the thoughts he’s throwing my way.
He called me beautiful.
In my precious hormonal state, that almost brings tears to my eyes for a second time this morning.
“Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Did you end up opening a dance studio in LA?”
“Oh. No, not yet.”
He nods, relief flashing and disappearing on his face so fast I wonder if I imagined it.
“Why am I holding your keys, Chase?”
“Can you drive that thing?” he asks, pointing toward it.
I shrug.
I mean, have I ever driven anything that big? No.
But am I confident in my ability to be a natural? Also no.
“Uh, I’m not sure. Why?”
“If you’re going to be here for a while, you should probably stop paying for a rental. You can use my truck while I’m at work. I can just drive a work truck to and from.”
“No way, Chase. I can’t take your truck.” When I look at it this time, my eyes bulge. I swear it wasn’t that big ten seconds ago.
“You’re not taking my truck, I’m loaning it to you. I’m not using it during work hours anyway and I need you to have access to something safe and reliable. Plus, paying for a rental is a waste.”
“But it’s so big!” I exclaim.
“Thank you.” He grins and I smack his arm, rolling my eyes at his lame joke but letting the smile take over my face anyway.
I love the relaxed, goofy side of Chase. “Honestly, I’d expect something like that from Drake, but not you. I thought you were above penis jokes.”
He shrugs. “No man is above penis jokes. Besides, you can’t be best friends with someone for years and not pick up on their annoyances.” He pauses for just a second. “But I’ll teach you how to drive it, don’t worry. You’ll be fine.”
I nod and drop my keys into my purse, taking a quick check of the time on my phone. Turning to Chase, I ask, “Ready to move in together?”
11
Chase
“Mom, it’s me!” I yell, slamming the front door shut after I make my way through it. I head into the living room and straight to the kitchen, right where I know she’ll be.
Since she retired three years ago, she’s barely left it. My dad has to drag her out of it most evenings. All that time is spent working on new recipes for Blue. She swears up and down that the restaurant’s success is in large part because she keeps the menu fresh with seasonal foods and desserts.
This year, she’s also decided to put out a holiday cookbook full of recipes they’ve used over the years. Janice Prescott doesn’t seem to understand the meaning of retirement.
“Chase! Hey, baby. It’s good to see you.”
I wrap my arms around her, bending down so she can place a kiss on my cheek without having to yank me down by the collar.
“What are you doing here? Where’s my grandbaby?” She smiles at me warmly, every line and crinkle I helped put on her face visible in the movement. Her peppered hair is pulled back into a fashionable bun, and even her trademark burgundy lipstick is flawlessly in place.
“The girls went for a walk in Sunset Park.” I neglect to tell her that they have company. “I need to talk to you.”
She’s reaching into the fridge to pour me a glass of iced tea, pausing her movements for just a heartbeat.
If I wasn’t used to her smooth demeanor, I might not have even noticed. I take the full glass from her with a “Thank you” and sit down at the island.
She stands across from me, eyes cautious, as she wipes her hands on a kitchen towel and sighs. “Is it Emily?”
“No, Mom. Emily is okay. Well, she’s okay right now. It’s not about her.”
The tension in my mother’s brow relaxes and she takes a shaky breath, plastering her small, grandmotherly smile back on her face. “Your father is at work.” She says it pointedly, her subtle way of telling me that if it’s important, I should wait for his company.
“I know, Mom. I just talked to him.”
Her eyebrows raise, but she holds back from making the disgruntled noise she probably wants to.
My mother is a saint, but she’s always been slightly jealous of the relationship I have with my father. Over the years, I’ve usually gone to him first for advice or big news. Of course, it was never intentional. I’d never play favorites with my parents; he’s just always been the person I think of first when it comes to talking through my big problems. I can count on his calm level-headedness to steer me in the right direction and his humor to help ease any blow I’m hit with.
“Okay, why don’t I get myself a glass of tea and sit down then?” she asks, but I shoo her to sit instead, pouri
ng her a glass of tea as she rambles. “I have about an hour left on this pumpkin pecan cheesecake. Maybe you’ll have time to try a piece before you leave. It’s been years since I’ve made it. I hope it’s as good as I remember.”
I agree, even though I hate all things pumpkin flavored and she knows it. Much to her chagrin, I’m a simple guy with simple tastes. Fancy recipes have never really been my thing. When I set her glass down in front of her, she thanks me, then waits patiently for me to begin.
As far as parents go, I’ve won the lottery. Even in my teenage years, they were the cool parents. They took things in stride, gave me independence, and always treated me with respect. Granted, I never gave them any reason to distrust me.
Still, I don’t think many parents would have been as understanding as they were about me marrying my best friend out of convenience. I can only hope my parents will accept Addison—and our particular situation—the same way they always have Emily.
“Don’t freak out, okay?” I eye her cautiously and rub my clammy palms on my jeans. I feel like a little kid about to tell my mother I broke her favorite vase.
“Chase,” she warns, circling her hands in front of her to usher me along.
“I’m going to be a father again.”
She stares at me blankly, probably waiting for the words to make sense in her mind. Finally, she shakes her head a little and says, “I don’t understand.” A pause and then, “Emily?”
“No, Mom, not Emily.” The words hit her quicker this time, now that she’s prepared. “Her name is Addison.”
“Addison.” She says the name softly, delicately, as if acquainting herself with its sound. “Is that the little brunette everyone has been talking about?”
I nod, not at all surprised she’s already heard about Addison’s presence in town. Word travels fast in small towns, which is exactly why I couldn’t put off talking to my parents about the matter right away. They’re understanding people, but they would still do best to hear about things straight from me.
