Wings of Ruin: A Young Adult Fantasy Romance Novel (Kingdoms of Faerie Book 3)

by Skye Horn

  Adrian, whom she’d been so furious with for hours.

  Adrian, whom she’d wanted to strangle for the lies that he’d told.

  Adrian… whom she’d forgiven?

  She didn’t understand it either, but the look on his face had not been one that could have been faked. Morrigan had threatened his family and Thea couldn’t say she would have done any different were she in his shoes, so why did that not make the betrayal any easier to accept? And then, he’d infuriatingly gone to see Kieran without her. She wanted nothing more than to curl up next to Haven on the bed and sink into a deep sleep, but with midnight only a few hours away, she couldn’t settle her thoughts.

  Tonight she would find out what had been kept from her during her time in Blackmire. Her mind wandered around ideas of what it might be as she sat on the edge of the bed as lightly as possible and began to tug off her boots.

  She didn’t want to think about everything that had happened today, having spent enough time thinking about it during her flight, but the thoughts were a plague on her brain. Once her boots were off, Thea stretched her toes and began untangling her knotted hair, staring toward the window where the skies outside had begun to darken. Her stomach growled mercilessly at the lack of nutrition she’d had during the day, but she also didn’t think she could keep food down.

  Restlessness overwhelmed her, and she fought the urge to turn and shake Haven awake, turning once to surprisingly find the other girl watching her.

  “Goddess!“ Thea yelped, pressing her hand against her chest. “Do you always stare at people in silence?”

  Haven chuckled, pushing herself up. “You looked too deep in thought to be disturbed.”

  Thea pulled her legs up underneath herself, turning to face Haven with whatever bit of courage she had left.

  “So, as if my life wasn’t complicated enough...” Thea’s voice cracked and tears swelled in her eyes before she could stop them. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry again. Obviously that promise was already broken.

  Haven reached out and pulled Thea toward her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “You’re going to get through this. Just like you get through everything else that is thrown at you.”

  Thea sniffled, closing her eyes. “I don’t know how to be a mom. And how am I supposed to explain Kieran? And what about Ivandor?” The muscles in Thea’s back tensed at the thought of the new responsibility being added to her shoulders.

  Sure, she’d always wanted to have kids, but not like this—and definitely not alone.

  Haven pulled back to meet Thea’s gaze. “You deal with one thing at a time. Fae pregnancies can last up to fifteen months, and if my calculations are correct…”

  Thea groaned, not wanting to even think about calculations based on the last time she’d had sex. It felt like a lifetime ago now, after everything that had happened.

  Haven rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Then you are about eight months along. You still have plenty of time to figure it out.”

  “Do I, though? Morrigan expects me to face her sister sooner rather than later. I can’t just let my people suffer under Ainé’s rule while I sit here and hide. I came here to learn how to fight!”

  Thea’s frustration was growing, but she kept her magic in check. Knowing she was pregnant made her wonder if more of her meltdowns had been hormonal, and her anger toward Morrigan only grew. How could the Goddess keep something like this from her? How could Adrian?

  Haven rested a hand against Thea’s cheek with a small but confident smile. “I’m right here, okay? We are going to get you through this.”

  “What about Kieran?”

  Haven’s eyes darkened a little and her lips pulled together. Thea looked down at her hands, folding them into her lap. She knew what Haven was thinking.

  Kieran was not savable. Ainé had ripped whatever good was in him away.

  But if that was true, then why had he come here at all? Why hadn’t he hurt Thea?

  “You didn’t see him, Haven. He cared about the b-baby.”

  Thea managed to get the last word out through her teeth, every ounce of her flooding with terror.

  “Or he’s pretending to care to get close to you again,” Haven said quietly. “You can’t trust him, Thea.”

  “I know.”

  She did know, but she still longed for a way to save him. How could she save the rest of the world if she couldn’t even save the man she loved?

  “What are you going to do?” Haven asked, leaning back against the headboard of Thea’s bed.

  Thea sighed, knowing her next words were going to anger Haven. “I’m going to meet Adrian at midnight.”

  “What?” Haven shot a look at her that clearly said she thought she was insane, but Thea held up her hands in protest.

  “I need to see what he and Caden aren’t telling me.”

  “So you’ve forgiven him just as easily as you forgave Kieran when he could have cost you the life of your child?” Haven said the words carefully, but Thea understood her concern.

  “Did you forgive me when I told you that I was the one who set Morrigan free in order to save Kieran’s life?”

  “That’s different!”

  “No, it’s really not. There isn’t a single life that is more important than another, and I put all of us at risk. Ethel would be alive if it weren’t for my actions.”

  Thea turned away from Haven, not wanting her to see the grief this admittance brought her. “I’m furious with him, but I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. Maybe it just goes to show that we are all selfish in our own ways.”

  “Maybe…” Haven mumbled behind her. “But you’re not going anywhere with him alone.”

  Thea turned back to Haven with a guilty smile that made the other girl groan.

  “I’m supposed to be your guard!”

  “And I’m your queen. Can you trust me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then let me do this. Adrian isn’t the threat in this kingdom.”

  The two stared at each other for a long time before Haven seemed to relent. Thea sighed, leaning back against the headboard beside her, and rested a hand over her stomach gently. She thought about everything she needed to do.

  Stop both Goddesses from destroying Faerie.

  Find a way to set her sister free.

  Retake control of her kingdom.

  And raise a child.

  None of those things sounded easy, but she was glad to have people beside her to help her accomplish them.

  “Are you scared?” Haven asked quietly, staring down at Thea’s hands. Thea saw the worry in her eyes as clear as day.

  “I’m terrified,” she responded, leaning her head over to rest on Haven’s shoulder and closing her eyes.

  The world had been a terrifying but wonderful place since her arrival in Faerie. She’d learned things existed that she’d never even thought of before, and despite her losses, she’d gained a family. She wouldn’t change her life for anything, but she would do whatever it took to make it easier for the child she carried.

  That was a promise she could keep.

  Chapter 18

  When the moon was at its peak, Thea said goodbye to Haven and slipped into the quiet corridor beyond her room. She wore the thickest and darkest cloak pulled up to conceal her braided red hair and had two daggers sheathed on the opposite hip to her sword. Despite Haven’s arguments, Thea had opted to leave the bow and arrow behind, but the small leather pouch containing the protection gemstone dangled off her belt.

  “Ready?” Adrian’s voice broke the silence as the door shut softly behind Thea. He was leaning against the wall next to her door, as he had been for many of her days in Blackmire. At some point he must have returned to his room because he’d changed into warmer clothing, wearing a similar winter cloak to Thea’s. The flicker of the candle he held for light illuminated his face in partial shadows as Thea approached.

  “I wondered if you’d come.” Her voice felt booming in the quiet
corridor. The servants were likely all in bed and most of them were instructed to steer clear of this wing of the castle anyway, unless called upon. Thea figured that was to keep her from turning them against King Rayan, as she’d done in Ivandor with her father’s human servants. What the king didn’t seem to understand was that Thea hadn’t needed to turn those people against Malachi. They’d already been plotting it long before she’d arrived.

  Adrian pushed himself off the wall without making a sound. “I wondered if Haven would force you to allow her to come.”

  At this, Thea smiled. “She’s likely listening on the other side of the door right now.”

  There was a small noise behind the door that was clearly someone moving away, and Thea bit back her laughter. Nerves fluttered around in Thea’s stomach wildly. Her fingers twitched beneath her cloak, brushing the cut steel of her sword’s hilt. Her eyes searched the corridor to look at anything but Adrian, but most of the candles were dull wicks now, aside from his. He took a step toward her and then seemed to second-guess himself. Thea wondered if he’d been about to offer an arm for their walk, but before she could rectify the awkward situation, he turned and said, “Follow me, then.”

  Thea kept pace with him, afraid to be lost in the darkness of the castle without his light. There was something eerily uncomfortable about wandering these corridors at night, as if the king or any of his brutes might be lurking around the next corner, waiting to get rid of her. In her room she had Haven, and Adrian was posted outside. She hadn’t thought about how much comfort that brought her, even when she didn’t fully trust him.

  Of course, her fears were baseless. If the king had wanted her dead, she’d be dead. He was too afraid of Morrigan to make a move like that, though.

  “Where are we going?” Thea whispered, getting closer to Adrian as they turned another corner. Her stomach felt as if it had been tied into knots. She contemplated the different possibilities for what they could be going to see, but she had no idea. Perhaps Caden had lied to her and knew a weapon that could beat the Goddesses already.

  Thea immediately dismissed that thought. Just because Adrian had betrayed her trust, it didn’t mean Caden was also lying to her. In fact, he’d seemed just as worried about Adrian over these past few days. Thea had already convinced herself he knew nothing of what had happened. She wondered when Adrian would tell him, but it wasn’t any of her business to get in the mess of a friendship they had. It seemed she was only causing a strain between them.

  “To the caves.”

  Thea looked toward Adrian, but if he felt her gaze he did not acknowledge it. His mouth was set into a straight line as they moved. His eyes were intent on the darkness ahead.

  “Where are the—”

  Adrian’s hand was suddenly covering Thea’s mouth and she fought the urge to scream as the reason for his abruptness reached her ears. There were voices ahead. They sounded distant, but they were growing distinctly louder. Thea didn’t recognize either voice, but that didn’t matter. Adrian blew out his candle, engulfing them in complete darkness, and pressed his lips close to her ear.

  A shudder danced across her skin as he spoke, breath tickling her earlobe. “I’m going to remove my hand, but we must be silent.”

  He waited until she nodded her head and then dropped his hand from her mouth. She let her eyes slowly adjust to the dark, but the voices were growing nearer. If they came around the corner into this corridor they’d surely be caught and Thea would never discover what had been so important for them to keep secret.

  Adrian spun Thea around by the shoulder and guided her back the way they’d come, each of them careful that their footsteps were light as feathers. Thea’s heart raced audibly against her chest, or at least, audibly to her own ears. They moved more quickly as light flickered around the corner. There were two shadows, but they hadn’t moved close enough to see them yet. Her eyes began to adjust to the darkness and she pointed silently ahead to the only door she remembered passing in this corridor.

  It was wooden and appeared to have no lock. Adrian immediately turned her toward it and urged her forward. She stumbled a little over her cloak at the sudden movement, but he steadied her by the elbow as the door creaked open too loudly. Thea’s heart stopped momentarily while she listened for a pause in the incoming voices, but they continued their conversation oblivious to what happened ahead of them.

  Thea slipped through the door followed closely by Adrian and heard it shut behind her with a soft click. The room they’d come upon was a supply closet much like the one she’d shoved Mica into in Ivandor nearly two months ago. An ache of grief twisted through her at the thought of Mica and everything he’d done for her to find Kieran. What had she done in return except become the reason that Ethel had died?

  Goddess, no… The grief in his voice would haunt her nightmares for the rest of her life, she was sure.

  Thankfully, Adrian stepped in front of her, hazel eyes blazing with concern. He was larger than Mica by a lot. While Mica still had that sixteen-year-old-boy frame, Adrian had grown into himself. He was a man—a man who filled up nearly the entire space around her with the scent of fern trees and fresh snow. His body brushed against hers as he moved away from the door, trying not to trip over any of the wooden buckets on the floor. The last thing they needed was to make noise and be discovered, but Thea’s mouth felt too dry to make a sound anyway.

  They’d been this close before. In fact, they often sparred during training, which ended up with them tangled together in a sweaty mess, but something about being with him in the middle of the night sneaking around the castle had her heart racing. Of course, the thought of Kieran in the dungeons below dulled that excitement slightly, bringing an aching pain to her chest, but it wasn’t the same guilt she’d felt when being around Declan.

  Without the soul bond, her feelings for Kieran hadn’t disappeared but the inability to make choices when it came to him had. She could see Adrian clearly before her now, hazel eyes blazing, and feel hurt over her loss of Kieran but also the intensity of the moment they were sharing.

  It terrified and exhilarated her to find this choice again, and suddenly, she understood why Kieran might not want to be saved. They’d been forced together by something out of their control. He’d always told her she’d burn the world down for him, and it was true. She would have done anything for him regardless of the consequences, but what type of relationship was that? How could someone you’d do terrible things for be good for you?

  Now, having the veil lifted from her mind to see more clearly, she knew she loved Kieran, but that love had been tainted by Ainé’s touch.

  When the light flickered beneath the doorway, both Adrian and Thea held their breath. She felt his hand move to his sword, just in case, but what could they truly do if they were caught?

  It felt like ages before the voices disappeared. Neither of them dared to speak until the silence engulfed them, and even then, Thea just stared at him, wondering what in the world she was supposed to do with these new emotions she was feeling.

  Adrian had hurt her with his betrayal, but it hadn’t just been because she’d trusted him. It had been because of this—whatever was happening between them.

  “I think they’re gone,” he finally said, voice sounding rough in the darkness. He pulled out a match from his cloak, relighting the candle he’d brought with him, and the supply closet came to life. In the new light, it felt even smaller than Thea had originally thought. Thea’s wings were folded tightly against her back to avoid knocking things over, and Adrian stood nearly pressed against the front of her. The top of her head just barely reached the height of his nose, but her head was tilted back to look at him.

  She had the sudden urge to close the distance between them—to convince herself she could feel something again that wasn’t controlled by someone else—but she fought it, knowing how it would make her feel and knowing that it would likely be rejected by him. There were more important things to worry about than the confusion sh
e was feeling on the inside, so forcing her eyes toward the door, she led the way out of the closet, ignoring the pounding of her own heart.

  Adrian didn’t know what he’d seen on Thea’s face when the light had returned, but he couldn’t shake it from his mind. Her gray eyes swirling with golden specks like liquid magic. The sharpness of her jaw angling to look up at him. Her parted lips about to speak before a sudden change of heart.

  He knew he was reading too much into it.

  He had to be.

  And yet, his hands trembled to hold the candle as he watched her walk away.

  When she looked back at him, a loose strand of red hair fell around her blushing cheeks. “Are you ready?”

  Her words mimicked his earlier with a knowing smile, but her eyes flashed with something more than that. What was it that she was hiding?

  It doesn’t matter, he reminded himself. She’s the queen of another kingdom, carrying the child of a lost soulmate. Her soul will never recover from that.

  Morrigan’s warning rang clear in his head, but so did something else— something that terrified him more than anything. He wanted to be the one who would help her recover, even if he would never be good enough. He wanted to save her from a life alone. He wanted to make her smile again, like she so rarely did.

  Adrian shook the thoughts away, shutting the door they’d just come out of and hoping he could banish the thoughts for now. He needed to show her the truth, and that meant ignoring the insanity going on in his head for a little while.

  “Yes, I’m ready,” he finally said, glancing around one last time before grabbing her hand and pulling her down the corridor more quickly. To his surprise, she didn’t object to his hand. Instead, she laced her fingers through his as if scared he’d leave her behind and kept pace with his footsteps.

  Hers were lighter, more graceful, than his, but they both stayed quiet enough not to attract any attention, finally reaching the castle gate.

  There, a guard looked down at him. He slipped a heavy coin pouch into the guard’s hand and then the gate was opening.