“You humiliated me!” She lunges forward and Jet stops her easily, her red hair is tangled in front of her face. “One post destroyed my entire life.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, this is absurd. It’s an Instagram business. Who in their right mind would react this way?
“My daughter was my business partner. We lost a lot of money when our business went under. She stopped speaking to me. Said I’d used up my last chance.”
“How did you find me? How did you figure out who I was?”
Leslie set her jaw defiantly, so I repeated the question.
“I’ve been checking your emails for you long before you hired me,” she said. “I used to work in IT for the Ontario government. I know how to get anywhere on the internet. I know how to find anyone. I found out who you were, but I couldn’t figure out where you were. You never told me anything. You have so many secrets. So, I found your dad, made sure you would have a reason to come home.” She sneers at my dad it’s as good a confession as any. She’s the one who hit him.
“But you were getting a little too comfortable with your new life,” Leslie says and glances at Jet.
Jason.
“You’re the reason Jason came back,” I say.
“I’m trained to see weakness. To see the breaks in the chain, the vulnerable spots. You’re all so pathetically predictable.”
The red and blue lights cut through the window flashing eerie shadows across Leslie.
“Why would you do this though?” I wanted to get as many answers as I could before the cops took her.
“You took away the only thing in this world that ever meant anything to me. I wanted to do the same to you. And I almost did.”
“By running us off the road?”
“No. I would never kill anyone. The goal was only ever to drive you to paranoia, and you made it so easy. You are so weak when it comes to her. You hold her so tight. But on the field earlier the way she looked at you. Like you’d lost your fucking mind. She was embarrassed of you. Now you know what it feels like for your own child to hate you.”
Dad squeezes my shoulders as the cops burst through the door, I’m stunned silent and gaping as I watch them take her away and realize with rushing clarity how in her sick and demented way she’s right.
Chapter Thirty-Four
BRIGGS
Jet and I ride back to the Ryker place in total silence, the sound of the tires on pavement and my still thundering heart in my chest.
I promised the police I’d come down to make a statement, but I need to see Millie first. I need to hold her and tell her I love her and that I’m so sorry. I’m disgusted at how easily I came undone at Leslie’s torment. How ready I was to tear Millie away from everything she’d gained here in Raston. A team, friends, and family that loved her so much.
When we pull up Zeke is sitting on the front porch, drinking a beer with a deep-set scowl in his rugged face. He takes one look at me, my face scratched and blood on my shirt and he stands.
“It’s fine,” Jet assures him patting his shoulder as we pass. “We got her. It’s over.”
“What do you mean got her?” Zeke follows us inside but I’m not paying attention. I only look for my little girl and when I see her my eyes fill with tears and a sob threatens to burst my throat.
She’s sitting on a massive sofa in front of a huge TV watching god knows what. She’s between Del and Tabby, all three with huge smiles on faces covered in a pink goo. Millie’s toes are a bright yellow, her fingernails the same blue as her team uniform. All three of them are snuggled under a heavy quilt with toes sticking out the bottom. Tabby tosses up a popcorn and Millie tries to catch it, it sticks to the mask and all three of them laugh.
The happiness on her face is more than I can handle, and the tears begin to spill over. Soul wracking sobs crack my ribs and hot tears pour down my cheeks. Pris grabs my elbow and yanks me into the kitchen and I collapse into her. I throw my arms around her and let it all come crashing out. She’s stiff and uncertain before she puts one arm around me and pats my shoulder.
“I’m s-s-sorry,” I cry into her shoulder and she aims me at a kitchen chair, sitting me down and I fold my arms on the table and cry into them. I hear banging around and the hiss of a kettle and then she drags a chair up to mine.
Pris lays a hand on my arm and I lift my head. She’s as emotionless as always, but there’s a kindness in her eyes she’s never flashed my way before. She hands me a warm cloth and I wipe my face, streaks of blood left behind.
“Don’t let her see you like this,” Pris says pulling her own hoodie over her head and handing it to me leaving her in a long-sleeved purple scoop neck.
“Thanks,” I reply putting it on, her warmth still trapped in the fabric.
“What happened Briggs?” She leaps up when the kettle boils to pour water over a sweet-smelling tea bag and hands the cup to me.
I tell her everything. It all pours out of me, every detail, every unflattering truth about the mistakes I’ve made as mother because I was trying so hard to protect my independence. My stubbornness is what’s to blame. Leslie is a sad lonely woman who had driven away her daughter through her obsessive behavior and misguided mistakes. She admitted as much in her confession. Her daughter had said the shit she pulled with me was the last chance.
I am overrun with fear when I realize that the same thing could happen to me. The same thing almost did. If I take Millie away from here, away from Xan, away from what she’s come to truly love over the last few months, then I will plant the seed of resentment in my daughter. Like Leslie did with hers.
Like my mother did with me.
“Do you want to know why I’ve never liked you,” Pris asks and I choke on my tea.
“Okay,” I say, my throat raw from all the talking.
“You did something to my brother. I never understood it then. Back then I saw you as a threat to my family. Xan would have done anything for you. He did do anything for you. He risked everything for you. At the time I thought it was reckless. I thought you were taking him from us. Making him choose between us and you. I’ve never seen anything so devastating as when you left. I blamed you.
“Now I understand what it was. When he was with you, he chose himself. What I saw as him abandoning us was actually him taking care of himself. Our whole lives Xan has had to step up, be a father when he wasn’t ready, be a protector when he didn’t want to be, act like a grown up when he was only a kid. Then you showed up and he was happy. He just wanted to be with you, to be himself. Even now, you make him choose himself. He’s been wallowing in this accident and we’ve been terrified he was going down the same path as Dad. Then you showed up and immediately he sees himself again. It was us that were holding him back, not you. I hated you for making him selfish, but it was me that was selfish. We rely on him for everything and you’re the only one who’s ever let him be him.”
Fresh tears bubble up and Pris rolls her eyes at me. “Good God don’t cry. We’re not besties now.”
I laugh through the gurgle of snot that follows my tears.
“I’ve never loved anything like I love your brother.” I say shocked that it comes out in present tense. Pris smiles with half her mouth, picking up on my slip.
“So, don’t go, Briggs. Be a family. If there’s anything my brother is great at its his devotion to family. But I think you know that, and that’s what scares you more than anything else.”
She taps the table and stands, never an awkward goodbye with Pris. When she’s done, she’s done. I hear her footsteps up the stairs and the sound of the movie cuts out. Tabby comes around the corner hand in hand with Millie who stops dead when she sees me.
“Mom?” She says, and in her face I see no resentment. No anger. No frustration. Only joy. The entire night washes away like waves over footprints in the sand. Everything Leslie said, all the fear that she planted in my heart is gone.
I’m not a perfect mother. Not even close. But to Millie I’m her mother.
And
I want to earn that title every day.
Millie runs at me and I catch her in a tight hug. There’s face mask goo on my hair and Pris’ sweater but I don’t care. I hold my daughter and breath her in and wrap my love around her.
“We’re safe now sweetheart. I’m so sorry I tried to drag you out of Raston. I was scared and not thinking. It was a huge mistake and I hope you don’t hate me anymore.”
Millie shuffles back her ears reddening and her eyes cast down. “I never hated you mom. I’m sorry I said that. I could never hate you.”
“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I squeeze her shoulders and she perks up like everything just registered. “I’m so sorry about this past year. I’m going to make it up to you. I promise.”
This is a promise I don’t mind making.
“Does that mean?” She asks and I nod knowing what she’s asking.
“We’re going to stay.”
Millie screeches her approval and springs over to the sink to let Tabby wipe the slime from her face.
“That means we need to throw a party,” Del interjects leaning on the doorframe wiping her hands on a pink goo stained towel. She still had tiny specks of pink stuck to her cheeks and forehead.
“Why are we throwing a party?” Jet asks, the kitchen getting more and more crowded.
“Mom said we’re staying, Uncle Jet.” Millie pounces on him and he lifts her easily and gives her a bear hug, shaking back and forth until she is screeching to be put down.
“That’s awesome kid, but you know what that means?” He scratches his thick beard.
“What?”
“I’m gunna have to start being hard on you at practice now that you’re a permanent Wildcat.”
Millie face drains of color. “You mean you weren’t being hard on me?”
We all laugh as Jet ruffles her hair.
“Want to finish the movie with us?” Tabby asks and for the first time in ever I feel like I’ve truly come home. This chaotic, messy, imperfect dynamic is everything I’ve ever been missing from my life. Cramming five people on a couch meant for three. The buzz of the TV and hum of two separate conversations and fighting over the last handful of popcorn, which Zeke swooped in and stole because he’s an ass.
It all feels so natural. The only thing missing is the most important part of the Ryker experience for me. I hug Millie close as she watches the movie and I burry the one last fear that won’t let go.
“Are you okay, Mom?” Millie glances up at me. My girl who never misses a thing. I smile and kiss her on the forehead.
“I’m okay. Just a little worried about your dad is all.”
“He’ll be okay.” Her youthful optimism helps ease my nerves and I rest my cheek on her head.
“You’re probably right.”
I need him to be okay. I need him to come home.
Nothing in my life is fully whole without him.
I’ve spent over a decade fighting against something that is as easy as breathing. Dad and Pris are right. I wasn’t afraid that me and Xan wouldn’t work, I was afraid that we would.
The only thing I’ve ever wanted is right in front of me, being offered to me with open arms.
A family.
My family.
And I’m ready for it.
Chapter Thirty-Five
XAN
Sweat sticks to every bit of me, my muscles sore and strained from the fight. Black soot stains my gear and I know any second now I’ll feel the crash.
That moment when my body realizes I’m not in danger anymore and my adrenaline stops. A sagging tiredness will wash over me and I’ll want to collapse wherever I’m standing.
“It’s great to have you back, man,” Rich says. “The fucking dream team showing nature who’s boss.” He lets out a masculine bark that gets a whoop from the men and an eye roll from the ladies on the crew.
He’s joking of course, his eyes flashing with the memories of last year. But he’s also not wrong, there’s nothing like the high of coming out of a shift having successfully contained the flames.
We also know we’re lucky. No wind today. The valley was unusually calm, and it felt like Devine intervention. Like God made it so, just to prove a point.
The pain of Gus’ death is fresher than it’s ever been, but when I was out there working with my crew, moving in unison I saw what I do for exactly what it is. We are battling nature. And nature will always be superior.
Gus didn’t die because I made a mistake. The winds shifted suddenly, a powerful gust changing the entire scope of the fire. We all made mistakes that day. None of us were prepared for how quickly the flames changed, how fast the forest went up, and equipment that malfunctioned.
We were all to blame and none of us was to blame. Horrifying and unfortunate, but this is what we all signed up for. We all know the risks. We all fight for the reward.
Back at the base we get ready for the shift debrief and the crew leader nods at me to follow him.
My heart kicks up again and I run my fingers through my sweat soaked hair.
“What’s up?” I ask, my voice lowered.
“I think you should get cleaned up, head home, Ryker.” His voice is tight, and my stomach drops out from under me. Did I fuck something up? Am I back too soon?
“It’s fine,” he continues. “Everything’s fine. But we figured out who started the fire. A woman confessed. She was arrested at the Marchand place a few hours ago. But Alexander this fire was started because of you.”
I’m not understanding anything he’s saying and then I think to the motorhome fire. To Briggs’ stalker. Arrested at the Marchand house.
“Fucking hell,” I say scrubbing at my face. And when I’d decided that nature was just nature. That it had nothing to do with me. This fire had everything to do with me. The lives that would be at risk because of someone on a revenge path.
“Is she?” I ask and Greg shrugs.
“No one got hurt, that’s all I know. We got the statement from the police that a woman started the fire to be sure you’d away from the Marchand place. They didn’t give me any other information. But Alexander?” His tone switches to deeply commanding and I feel the need to stand at attention like a soldier.
“Are you okay?” He asks gruffly, like the question itself is more comfortable to say as a order.
I take a deep lung filling breath of fresh air and nod. “I’m ready to be back. One hundred percent.”
He scrutinizes me for a moment before reaching out a hand and I shake it. “Good to hear. Now get out of here and take care of your family. We’ll see you next shift.”
My family.
I spin on my heel and follow his order.
#
Briggs’ motorhome is parked outside my place when I get home, my heart in a panic after checking the voicemails and texts left throughout the night. I knew they’re here, and with my head on straight I have time for the fear of it all to fully settle.
I wasn’t there to help her. I wasn’t there to protect her.
But she protected herself. She can take care of herself.
The door bangs aggressively as I enter the house and it takes a moment for the scene to register. My sisters all crammed together in the couch and with them is Millie and Briggs. The sight is so normal, so mundane my chest tightens at the perfection of it.
The sound of the door startles Briggs awake.
In a single look, I understand everything I need to and tension melts under the loving warmth only she has the power to wrap me up in.
“You’re okay?” I ask in the same gruff tone my crew leader did.
“We’re okay,” she answers and squeezes Millie’s shoulders.
My daughter wakes up and like she’s electrocuted from her chair she springs up and hurls herself straight toward me.
“Daddy!” She says as she jumps up and crashes into my arms. Her small body is easy to catch but the word Daddy sends me off balance.
It’s the first time she’s c
alled me that and I never want her to call me anything else.
Briggs stands and approaches slowly. I open an arm for her not sure what she’ll do.
She steps into the embrace and presses her cheek against my chest. The two most important people in my arms, safe. I intend to always keep it that way.
I’m reminded of our fight after she pulled Millie off the field and a new fear settles in. They are still leaving. The motorhome parked outside.
Or maybe they won’t now that it’s okay. My heart kicks into high speed at the thought and Briggs places her hand over the thud. With Millie still clinging around my waist I lean to look into Briggs’ eyes, the question silent but she understands.
“We are staying,” she whispers, lifting onto her toes to press her lips to mine.
The kiss is tame and chaste, but it feels like the first time I’ve ever kissed her. In the past we kissed like it would be the last time we’d get the chance, but this kiss was different. This kiss was a promise of so many more to come. I breathe in this new sensation, this forever kind of kiss and when she breaks the kiss Millie is staring at us with wide eyed hope.
Hope that Briggs would never let her see if she didn’t mean it.
They were my family.
I finally felt truly home.
Epilogue
BRIGGS
One year later...
I stop at the one light in all of Raston and take a quick peek at my phone. Still no word from Xan which is unlike him.
For the past year I’ve been taking short trips to source my materials for my company which completely rebounded after I decided to give up the mystery and went live on Instagram to show my face and get real with my customers.
Xan keeps in near constant contact with me while I’m away. Random photos of him and Millie out on adventures, playing ball, or at big dinners with the Rykers. Even Xan’s mom is starting to open up to her. I’m not always sure how I feel about that but know that with me and Xan as the voice of reason she’ll be okay.
But today everything has been quiet. I haven’t heard from Xan in hours, so I swing by the ball Dimond to catch a bit of Millie’s game. All the parents are there, but Xan isn’t. Millie spots me and waves furiously jumping up and down. Her friends all doing the same.
Wildfire Page 19
