Mask

by Jan Irving

  Nicks lips parted in shock. “Are you offering…?”

  Siren nuzzled Nicks neck and sighed somewhat wistfully.“You smell of him.”

  Nick swatted the other man away. “It sounds like its him you want!”

  Siren made a sad face. “If you have me, its like having you both, since you are bonding.”

  Nick shook his head in disgust. “Kokopelli.” Siren grinned, obviously catching Nick s drift. “The chaotic god of the South West. You know he has a big cock. I think I like your comparison; its very flattering.”

  “ Huh. You just like creating chaos,” Nick grumped, giving in ruefully to Sirens draw. Even though he had doubts about him, he was almost irresistible. “I guess thats what youd expect of a loup garou.”

  “ Loup garou? Im not.” Sirens eyes changed, greens, ambers backlighting the blue. He kissed the back of Nicks wrist with old world gallantry. “I am a warrior fey.”

  NICK found the green car waiting outside the club, the keys in the ignition.

  Kain had left him a safe way to get home. He paused, touching the night dew on the hood. Aching. How could he go home to Kain now, after hed torn at the thing between them? He could drive to Marilyns, stay with her. Probably that was what Kain expected.

  Jaw tight, Nick climbed behind the wheel and made his choice. Moonbeam: I’m sorry I hit you. That’s not me, or the me I’ve always been. I don’t have any excuse other than… Love. It sometimes is like having my skin peeled away. Obsidian? I hurt. Please talk to me.

  Obsidian: Why did you even come back here? I thought you were done with me. It would be better for us both if it were just…done.

  Moonbeam: Wait! This sounds like you expected my reaction, even hoped for it. And you were sure I’d leave after your setup. See you for the monster you are, ditch you. And then you don’t get hurt, right?

  Obsidian: If you left.

  Moonbeam: What?

  Obsidian: It might hurt.

  Moonbeam: For me as well, can’t you understand that? I know you played this out like a game in your head, Kain. You wanted to shove me away because I was getting too close and I think it hurts you to let me in.

  Obsidian: ...

  Moonbeam: Let me close to you.

  Obsidian: I wasn’t the one to walk away.

  Moonbeam: I’m coming to you. I thought of going to Marilyn’s, tea with chocolate, safe, even considered being with Siren, and I know after what happened tonight that I shouldn’t be able to fix this, whatever this is.

  I won’t let you push me away. Not if we fight. Not if I fuck up.

  NICK went deliberately to his studio first, grounding himself by touching canvas, paint, taking a deep breath. His throat tightened as he thought of the initiation at Manticore. Hed promised Kain hed stand by him, taken his hand and vowed not to turn away.

  Okay, well, it hadn t worked out. Hed screwed up. What now? “I have a prince to rescue,” Nick muttered.

  His hand grazed some scarlet pigment and touching that, touching color he had mixed himself, used, brought him back to ground zero. He didnt understand Kains world. He wasnt sure he liked it. Fine.

  But right from the beginning, Kain had touched him, woken him. Nick slowly removed his clothes, feeling he was taking a step with everything he folded, set aside. Expectations, fear of exposing himself to hurt; it was time to let go and make his own initiation.

  Nude, he ran a line of scarlet pigment over one slender hip, the line warm, a tattoo he created himself. KAIN was sitting at his desk in his dilapidated study in a pool of shadow, his laptop still open at the last line communication, his hands on the keys like a composition.

  Seeing him like that, Nick ached, throat, heart. of their broken pianist stalled in He discarded his robe and went to Kain, knelt at his feet and put his head on his lap.

  Kain didnt speak, but his face tilted so the light couldnt reach the scars on his face.

  I did that. I made him afraid, ashamed again.

  “Shattered,” he whispered. “And you didnt exactly stick around to explain shit to me!” Kain s hand clenched in his hair, tugging gently so Nick looked up. Seeing Kains expression, Nick hopped onto his lap, legs going around him, ankles hooking, his erection brushing against the one hidden under Kains clothing, his arms looping around Kains shoulders.

  Kain s hand stroked a line down his side, finding the mark of scarlet in the dark where Nick had instinctively brushed himself with color. Would Kain read the meaning behind painting his skin?

  Initiation. I gave myself to you, and I want to show how you touched me, changed me.

  Finally, Nicks patience was rewarded. Kains lips brushed his throat.

  “I love you,” Nick repeated, not hiding.

  Kain gave a stifled groan, giving in, his teeth entering Nick at last. NICK gasped, an initiate passing another threshold, hands digging into Kains skull, pulling him closer, his balls tight, his nipples erect, his breath, his body, expanding, contracting, a focused heart beating, living the moment for Kain.

  Joined. He heard Kain make a soft sound, a feeding sound, as if he loved Nicks taste, as if everything before had been prelude for this and even Kain hadnt known until hed taken Nick this way.

  But the feeding moved more than Kain. Nick felt heavy, weighted down, even as his desire rose to fever pitch. He didnt want to break Kains hold; he wanted to invite him deeper, to take it all—

  A human submissive has to be strong, were Sirens words. Nick frowned, wondering why the other man had somehow intruded in this moment, but he couldnt hang onto the thought because his head, even his vision, was fuzzy. When he opened his eyes, he thought he could see furry light surrounding the ivy dripping from the ceiling. Instinctively, he knew that was the vines projected growth, the energy radiating from it.

  And… he could make out scratching sounds between the walls, as if some small animal had climbed in through the gaps in the ceiling. Unable to process, he was at least chained to Kain by sex. He rubbed his cock against him. “Whats happening…?” he murmured dully.

  Kain was kissing him, as if he were a dessert that he d tasted and now wanted to revel in. Nicks chin, his lips, one finger following the hollow of his earlobe, the line of his throat, and then Kain was again feeding on the blood pounding in Nicks throat.

  Nick was lit up, so close, his pulse thundering, hungry for this new closeness, needy, slutty, everything Obsidian had promised hed want to be for the right man.

  Hoarsely, he had to ask, “Is this how you treat your whores? Drink from them, touch them?” Kain lifted drowsy lids, his face flushed, Nick s blood on his lips. “You want to be my whore, Nick?” One long finger stuttered over the still sensitive place Kain had broached, shot his seed inside, marking Nick.

  “ I never imagined this kind of….” Nick bit his lip, not wanting to say the word that came to mind aloud, mating. He was trembling spasmodically now, chilled, his heartbeat sounding louder in his ears, the dim light of the room wearing a strange nimbus, like a moon through misty clouds. “I never let anyone inside me before you.”

  Kain s hand tugged Nicks hair and he rubbed his lips against Nicks throat, losing himself.“I know you were untouched. I wanted to shove it deeper, Nick!”

  Nick blinked, licking his lips, even as his cock jumped at Kain s crude truth. “Youre not the most, um… politically correct boyfriend,” he mumbled, smiling faintly so his insecure lover could see he was okay with that.

  “ Dont be nice, dont be good,” Kain encouraged against Nicks throat. “I need to soil my innocent. I want you to be the man you were when we first met online. I would tell you stories of what I liked to do to the young men I hired…. You couldnt get enough.”

  Nick pulled him closer, feeling like a merman who had ensnared his lover, wanting to tangle him in seaweed until he drowned. The cold touch of Kains fangs and… drowning. Lost in this new mating, Nick felt again a chilly finger poking his spine in warning, but he was feasting as much as Kain was feasting, experiencing the intimacy he had
been denied even when Kain had briefly entered his body.

  Kain was making purring sounds while he kneaded generous handfuls of Nicks ass.

  “I think I want you to come,” Kain mused. “But come the way I want, for my entertainment.”

  More than ready now that Kain, his master, his lover, would allow it, Nicks lips parted. “Yes, Kain.” “ Spread yourself over my knee.” Kain helped Nick, who was trembling now, still feeling spacey, but so aroused he gasped as his cock rasped against Kains clothing. “Get that ass nice and high for me.” Kain rubbed it appreciatively when Nick was positioned to his satisfaction. “If I branded you, it would be on your inner thigh and Id make you display it by spreading your legs as you knelt for me.”

  Nick was panting now, his hairline dampened with sweat. He mouthed the back of Kains scarred hand, letting him know silently how moved he was at Kains words and actions, playing his fantasies perfectly.

  “ You like the idea of showing the world how slutty you are for me, dont you?” Kains voice was smug. “But right now I have an urge to prove to you how slutty you are when were all alone.”

  Nick stiffened when he felt something cool brush his ass. “No, dont look, kitten. I want you to relax and trust me. Focus on my voice, on pleasing me.” Nick nodded since he wasn t sure he could speak through his constricted throat. His heart was beating fast again, this time with anticipation. Kain was going to let him come!

  Kain made an approving sound at Nicks submission and something came down on Nicks rear end in a hard swat. He moaned at the shock, the inevitable slight humiliation in being spanked, but his cock loved it, loved everything about it as he rubbed himself against Kain.

  “ Up a little higher, kitten,” Kain said. “I want to give you a good spanking. Im using rolled-up newspaper since you havent earned the right to be spanked with a proper tool, like a paddle. Maybe after youve performed for me a few times, humped my leg, or sucked my cock perfectly, Ill use one on you. Would you like that?”

  Nick s cheeks were bright red, both his ass and his face. He wanted to hide from what he wanted, but there was no hiding from Kain. Kain was Obsidian, who knew him better than anyone. And Nick had spread himself for Obsidian online long before hed done it here in reality.

  “ Yes, I want that. You know I do,” he husked, clutching Kains muscular leg and holding onto him. He tipped his ass a little higher and was rewarded by some harder swats, one finally catching the edge of his balls so he cried out, caught between sharp pain and ecstasy.

  “Ask your master,” Kain prodded, rubbing smooth, warmed skin. “Ask for your relief.” “ Kain, please.”

  “Im not convinced.”

  Bastard! Yet Nick was smiling. Kain was feeling playful, a big cat, toying with Nick.

  He chose to answer Kains question, knowing it would ignite him. “I want to be your whore. Teach me….” “ Nick!” Kains fingers dug possessively into Nicks raised bottom. “Teach me to be your whore,” Nick finished.

  Kain s hand slid into his crack and he pinched Nicks opening, still swollen from accommodating Kain. The slight pain, the reminder of what hed offered, how hed been willing to lie at Kains feet and suck on his leather boot if ordered—

  “Kain….” Desperation threaded through Nicks voice. He needed Kain to say yes, needed his approval. “ Come, Kitten, come for me like a good whore!” Another swat of his vulnerable ass and… Nick was conscious of his balls tightening, the backs of his feet arching, toes curling, a fire roaring up and out through his fingertips, through his cock as he came, spattering like a naughty boy all over Kains pants.

  He wilted, sweaty, tears standing on his cheeks.

  “Nick, your scent. I cant…!” Kain rasped. He lifted Nick high, Nicks hair swaying, his body limp.

  … Sharpened teeth caging the pointed nipple over Nicks heart. Nick s fingers clenching in Kains hair, and unbelievably, his penis stiffening again, sensitized. It hurt to be hard again so soon, but Kains teeth inside him, drinking him, drinking deep—

  “ Ohhhh! Kain, I can’t—T-too much!”

  “Nick!”

  He faded, sinking beside the chair, body feeling cold and rigid, unable to do more than look up at Kain, pulled down by an undertow, cold now, not feeling it when his head hit the floor.

  Kains hand on his neck, his chest, yelling his name. Haunted green eyes, suddenly misty with tears.

  Don’t worry, Nick wanted to say.

  “KAIN, you have to leave! You lost control and look what you did?”

  Finns accusing voice.

  Nick frowned, head moving on his pillow. The sounds, scents, all wrong for the cool breath of Telemachus House. His eyes opened and he saw his Kain, head in his hands, sitting in a chair by the twin bed where Nick lay. He licked his dry lips, so fucking thirsty.

  “ Kain?” he rasped, wanting his lovers reassurance. He hated seeing him like that, looking so lost; it made Nick feel more vulnerable somehow, like something must be really wrong.

  Kain looked up, staring at him almost blankly. His hair was wild peaks and he was wearing the same clothing he d worn when Nick gave himself over to him. No hat or high collar to disguise the ridges bisecting one side of his face, as if Kain didnt care for once if others saw him and stared at his ruined features.

  Nick reached out. Of course he reached out, unable to bear Kain looking…. The effort made perspiration dot his forehead and his hand dropped, trembling like a broken string on an instrument.

  The chair fell behind Kain. He loomed over Nicks bed, tentatively touched the back of his hand. “ Im sorry,” he whispered. “Finns right; I went too far. I should have stayed away, should have been more careful with you. Christ, Nick, I was afraid you wouldnt wake up!”

  He closed his eyes tightly, fist balling, before he swallowed and stepped away from the bed.

  Nicks lips parted to speak but Kain strode from the room, the door swinging back and forth behind him his only answer.

  Nick turned to Finn, who sighed, reaching for some orange juice. “Youre in the local hospital, kitten. You, uh, lost a lot of blood.” Nick took in the drip going into his inner arm as he tasted the juice. His tongue felt swollen and his head was thumping like a dull, sodden drum. “Why did Kain have to leave?” he demanded, a little cranky. “Id like to understand whats going on exactly. What happened between us.”

  “Kains afraid of hurting you. Of who he is.”

  Nicks eyes closed and he curled his knees up to his chest. After a moment, he felt Finns hand, warm over his own cold, open palm.

  Moonbeam: You can’t stay away from me forever, you stubborn man. I’m going to be fine.

  Obsidian: I did this to you. Because of what I am now. Moonbeam: I was there too. It wasn’t your fault alone! We screwed up together.

  Obsidian: I wanted to keep drinking you.

  FINALLY, Nick had given up on waiting for Kain, fallen asleep, still weak as… yes, a kitten. The slight draft of air on his skin woke him, reminding him of his home with Kain. His eyelashes fluttered and he glimpsed a familiar shadow.

  “Whats that?” He strove to keep his voice light since he sensed Kain was like a wild animal now, wanting to hide from him. “Finn suggested I should bring you….” Three tattered roses fell at Kains side. His hand was dripping blood.

  Nick made a soft, scolding sound and reached for Kain, tugging him closer. “Idiot. What did you do?”

  Kain sank to his knees beside the bed, the flowers, missing petals, wilting already, mashed against Nicks sheet-covered legs. “Those roses look like they were in a car accident,” Nick observed wryly. “ The fucking gift shop was closed so I broke in.”

  “Cut your hand.”

  “Itll heal.”

  Already it was closing, Nick noticed with wonder. He lifted it and put it to his lips, licking the residue. Kains pupils yawned hungry black as he watched Nick taste him.

  “ Thanks for leaving the evidence in my room. Theyll think I broke into the gift shop,” Nick teased, knowing Kain need
ed to lighten up. He looked as if he were in shock as if he could use an IV as well.

  “We cant be together.”

  Tears stung Nicks eyes, but he fought them off, telling himself it was just the fucking blood loss.

  Again he remembered Sirens words: a human submissive must be strong.

  This. This was what he meant. When he and Kain had mated, theyd done so in innocence, and Nick hadnt known he had to be strong. Kain s head pillowed against his thigh and Nick stroked his hair. Strong. I will be strong for him.

  He whispered, “It will be all right.”

  “FINN,” Nick breathed, touching the front door to Kains dilapidated

  house. It was late, but he couldn t sleep, hadnt slept well since that night Kain had visited him in the hospital with his broken roses. The ache for Kain wouldnt go away. His touch. The way he gave Nick what he had never dreamed hed crave. His… bite.

  He looked up at the camera poised in his direction, knowing Finn had to be watching, knowing hed been relieved when Kain had stayed away from Nick, but now Nick had recovered and it was time to try to scale those walls to his lonely prince again.

  “Please, I need to see him.” Nick leaned his flushed face against ungiving wood. “Its not over between us. Its not that easy.”

  BROWN, umber, thundercloud gray, nightmare black, ashes of roses…. “ No, no, no, none of these work!” Nick shoved paint, canvas aside, panting. He wanted to rip the damp works and unsatisfying compositions in half! He wanted to tear at them the way that his need for Kain was slowly tearing him. An itch just under his skin he couldnt answer.

  Marilyn made a rough sound and reached out to rub his shoulder, blinking as she took in the debris of his frustration in her spare room. “What a mess, honey! Im sure youre just having a bad, uh, week.”

  “I cant. Create. Do you know how that feels?” Nick glared at his best friend. “Do you?”