“Dinner,” my dad called from the kitchen.
We all filed in to where him and Amber had salvaged as much of the turkey as they could. Jacks and Liam wrapped me in a group hug that immediately put me in the Thanksgiving mood.
It’d been a trying day, but it was Thanksgiving, and I had a lot to be thankful for.
We sat around the table chatting and dishing out food.
“This turkey is soooo good,” Jay said, trying his best to hide the grimace when he took a bite.
“Ewwww.” Liam made a face. “I don’t like it.”
“Yeah, Mom,” Jacks chimed in. “It kind of tastes like crap.”
“Language, Jackson,” I said. Everyone was watching me tensely, but then I laughed. “This is awful.” They joined in my laughter.
“I’m thankful for side dishes,” Colby said.
My heart was a little fragmented, but the laughter and love from the people around the table that night kept it from breaking entirely. I made mistakes, big ones, but they couldn’t derail my life.
20
Jamie
It was the early hours of the morning before I returned to Colby’s place. I laid down on the bed, trying to get some rest for my weary mind.
What was I supposed to think? Or do, for that matter?
How could Callie keep something so huge from me for ten years? Then I remembered that she also kept it from herself. She didn’t want to know. If her relationship with Dylan hadn’t fallen apart, I’d never have been told.
I wanted to punch something. My Ranger training taught me to control my impulses, keep a lid on my anger when necessary, but sometimes it was too much.
I couldn’t sleep. No surprise there. Sitting in the corner of the room was my old guitar. Jay brought it the other day, thinking I’d want to play. He didn’t know I hadn’t been able to.
It stared at me, the taut strings taunting, the smooth wood hypnotizing. Playing guitar was how I worked out a lot of things when I was a kid. I let my emotions flow through my fingers.
My hands itched to hold it, so I walked over and lifted it gently. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I rested it on my leg and wrapped my bad hand around the neck. Gritting my teeth, I squeezed harder, trying to make chords with my fingers.
I strummed twice, cringing as I heard how out-of-practice I was. Switching chords was nearly impossible. I couldn’t move my fingers like that. Last time, I hadn’t even been able to play a single chord, though, so it was progress. It would take a lot of work, but I was suddenly determined to be able to play guitar again. That was something I could control.
I worked for a little while longer, and it kept my mind busy. By the time I quit, I was able to fall sound asleep.
I woke to the sound of Colby in the kitchen, and a new thought on my mind. I had to get out of there. I needed space. Callie’s face was in my dreams, but I saw her differently now. Maybe I’d held some idealized version of her in my head and that Callie didn’t exist. The real one couldn’t live up to that.
I wasn’t sure she should have to, but I was so angry. She’d betrayed me. She’d let someone else raise my possible kid.
Jackson. We’d been connected since the first time I met him.
I never thought I’d have kids, but suddenly I wanted him. I loved him. I was going to be the best father anyone had ever seen.
But not now. Not this day. This day I had to leave.
I packed up my small amount of possessions and slung my bag over my shoulder. Grabbing the guitar, I walked out to where Colby was making breakfast. He looked at me briefly before turning with a shake of his head.
“Just go,” he said. “Maybe my sister is better off.”
“I’m just going to Tampa for a little while.” I felt a strong need to explain myself, especially to Colby. “I’ll text you to let you know where I’m staying so she can send the results.”
He just waved me off with a sigh. There was a time when he’d have understood me without me having to utter a word, but we didn’t live in that world anymore. This world was much more complicated.
This time when I left Gulf City behind, I didn’t feel like I was moving toward something as I had before. Now I was full of regrets.
21
Callie
With the boys out of school for the long holiday weekend, I decided to take it off from work at Emma’s. Jackson sat on the couch reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Declan was napping in his room, and I sat at the kitchen table with Liam with Harry Potter coloring books spread out before us.
My boys were blissfully unaware of the true events of the day before. They looked on with child’s eyes as their family sat down for a normal Thanksgiving dinner, oblivious to the tension.
Jackson asked at one point where Jamie went, and Liam wanted to know the same of their father. I didn’t have the heart to tell them anything other than we’d see them soon.
Dylan’s harsh words hung in the fog of my mind. He’d come to hurt me.
A knock reverberated through the house, and by the time I made my way into the living room, Jackson had opened the door and greeted his father warmly.
A part of me hoped it was Jamie, but that same part of me knew it wouldn’t be.
Dylan hugged Jackson and then caught Liam as he ran toward him. “Hi, buddy.” He laughed.
“Daddy, wanna see my picture?” Liam asked.
Dylan met my eyes for the first time as if asking for permission. I couldn’t deny Liam his excitement, so I waved him in and tried my best to hold in the things I wanted to say to him. I wouldn’t do it in front of the kids.
I busied myself with picking up the living room as the boys’ chatter drifted from the kitchen. Dylan reappeared a few minutes later.
“The boys went out back to kick around a soccer ball.” His voice dropped. “I asked them to give us a few minutes.”
“Okay.” I drew out the word, unsure of what he wanted from me.
“Can we talk?”
I turned away from him to straighten the pillows on the couch.
“California.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Hearing Dylan say my name in the same way he always had only reminded me how much I’d been hurt. I knew now that I hadn’t loved him as much as I’d always loved Jamie and that wasn’t fair to him, but he’d still cheated on me.
I turned, meeting his sad eyes. Neither of us wanted to be there, in that moment.
“I brought a test.” His words were soft, almost scared. “I don’t want to do this.”
“I know.”
“But we should have done it a long time ago.”
I nodded my head in agreement.
“Whatever this test says,” he went on. “Jackson is my son. You can’t take that away from me.”
I hesitated before reaching out and taking his hand for the first time since our marriage blew up, because that was what happened. One day we were fine, and the next the truth was out and everything was destroyed. I could still see Dylan playing with baby Jackson at the beach, truly happy.
“I wouldn’t do that,” I said.
“Isn’t that why you’re doing this?”
I released his hand, thinking of the events of the day before. “No, Dylan. I’m doing this because we all deserve to know. That includes Jamie. But you’re the reason it’s happening now.”
His shoulders dropped. “I shouldn’t have barged into your holiday like that. I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t ready to accept his apology when I didn’t know where Jamie’s head was at, so I took the test from him and opened the box.
Dylan wasn’t ready to let it go. “Nicole told me that Jamie was here with you, and I lost it.”
“Nicole, of course.” I was tired of my agent’s meddling. “You’re sleeping with her?”
His eyes shifted away. “We’re engaged.”
“That’s why she’s been pushing so hard to get me to sell the movie rights to Emma?” I slapped my palm against my forehead. �
�Of course.” I fixed him with a stare. “You got engaged and didn’t feel the need to tell me my sons would have a new stepmother.”
“You haven’t been answering my calls.”
I shook my head. “You say you don’t want me taking Jackson from you, so then be a father to him, to all of them. Make the effort, and I promise I won’t freeze you out. But if you ever disappoint them, I will cut off your balls and shove them down your throat.”
He laughed. “There’s my girl.”
“I’m not your girl.”
“No,” he agreed. “You never were, were you?”
“Let’s just do this.” I scanned over the instructions and handed him a swab. He rubbed it against the inside of his cheek and put it in one of the bags.
He held out a hand. “Let me be the one to give it to Jacks.”
I handed the second swab to him and followed him to the back door when I stood watching him as he spoke to Jackson. He returned a moment later to place the swab in another bag.
“We’ll have it back in three days,” he told me. “I’m staying in town. Mind if I take Jackson and Liam for a few hours.”
I nodded. “They’d like that.”
The three of them left as my dad walked through the door. He’d gone to the store. His eyes followed Dylan out before he turned to me. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“I’m not sure. You mind watching Declan for a little while? He’s still sleeping, but I have something I need to do.”
“Go ahead.”
I gave him a quick hug before heading over to Colby’s place.
Colby opened the door in his hospital scrubs.
“Hey, Cal,” he said. “I’m running late for work. What’s up?”
“Is he here?”
Colby’s face told me everything I needed to know. “Cal -”
“He left.” I walked in and slammed the door. “Of course he did. I shouldn’t have expected anything more from Jamie Daniels.”
“I’m sorry.”
“He hasn’t changed as much as I thought.”
“He’s in Tampa.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“But you wanted to know.” He shrugged on his white jacket.
“I shouldn’t.”
“Yes, you should.” He sighed. “Look, you know how stubborn Jamie is. Right now he’s pissed, and can you really say he doesn’t have a right to be?”
“Of course he has a right to be mad. But he doesn’t get to just leave me. Again.”
“Give him a few days.” He led me back to the door. “I really have to get to work.”
I followed him out and down to the parking lot, knowing my brother was right. That was usually the case. I’d give Jamie his time. In a few days we’d all know for sure.
As I drove back toward my house, I wasn’t sure what I wanted the test to say. A part of me dreamed of being a family with Jamie and my boys. But the bigger part of me knew that the best thing for all of us was for that test to come back positive - for Dylan to be Jackson’s father as we’d always assumed. That was what was best for my son.
22
Jamie
The interview opportunity came together quickly. I told Sergeant Carlson that I’d be in Tampa for the weekend, and he set it up. I didn’t know how I felt about the job quite yet, but it was good to see the possibilities all laid out before me.
Since leaving base, I’d been drifting and using Callie as my only anchor. I didn’t know what happened next, only that it included her. Since finally becoming a Ranger a few years ago, the army was my present and my future. I’d assumed I’d be in until I retired.
I didn’t expect to have to find something new to do with my life when I hadn’t yet hit thirty-years-old.
As I walked through the large parking lot, I couldn’t stop thinking about Jackson, the boy who could be mine. They’d all known. They’d all lied. Except for him. He was the innocent in all of this. I already loved the kid, even before I found out the truth - him and his brothers. They were special kids.
I pictured his face, trying to find anything that could tell me he carried the Daniels genes. His hair was lighter than his mother’s. Could that be my influence? I thought his eyes looked similar to mine, but knew all of this was probably just wishful thinking.
C-corp resided in a tall building in a professional district north of Tampa. Everything was very green and well-kept. The company’s emblem hung on the side of the building for everyone to see. They were a big deal in the world of government contractors.
I pulled open the glass doors and was hit by a blast of cold air even though it was November. The white tile floor did nothing to hide the sound of my steps as I crossed the large lobby to speak with the young receptionist. She glanced up, the phone pressed to her ear. I stood there for a long moment, waiting awkwardly as she said goodbye to the person on the other end of the line and set it down.
A smile graced her lips as she looked up at me once again. Her high blond ponytail swung back and forth with every movement.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “James Daniels to see Mr. Carr.”
“Oh yes, I’ll let him know you’re here. If you’d like, you can meet him in the conference room on three. Just turn left out of the elevator.”
I nodded once and followed her directions. The conference room held a long table with computer hookups at each seat. Large screens loomed over the space.
I was only in there for a moment before a man in an expensive suit joined me. He couldn’t have been more than ten years my senior.
“James.” He grinned, sticking out his hand.
I took it. “Mr. Carr?”
“Oh please, call me Garret. Let’s get started, shall we?”
It turned out that Sergeant Carlson had talked me up quite a bit, even going so far as to call me a weapons expert. I had no idea he thought so highly of me.
The job was an exciting one. A team was being put together to overhaul the training program in certain firearms at Fort Benning. Most of the team would be working out of the Tampa office, but they also needed someone in Georgia working with officers there.
He asked me a lot of questions, mostly about my service, and then shocked me by offering me the Georgia position.
“Forgive me for being skeptical,” I said. “But are you sure I’m qualified?”
“Carlson seems to think you are.” Garret leaned forward. “Let me tell you something. I was special forces right alongside that man. I trust his judgment above most anything.” He leaned back. “So, do you want the job?”
The thought of going back to Fort Benning, to my men, excited me. I wasn’t going to lie about that. When I was told I couldn’t re-enlist, the only thing I wanted was a way to stay.
But in just a few short months, everything changed. Could I just go?
I was mad as hell at Callie. I wasn’t even sure I could forgive her, but what happened if it turned out Jackson really was mine?
“Can I have some time to think about it?” I asked.
“Of course. The project doesn’t start for another month but most of the team has already started preliminary work.”
We both stood and shook hands once more.
As I climbed back into my truck, I had no idea what I was going to do.
23
Callie
Hitting send was frightening when your e-mail included a new book that could affect your friends in such a huge way. No one had read it yet, and my editor wanted the first few chapters soon. She didn’t know I’d finished the entire thing. But it wasn’t her I sent it to, not yet. Morgan got to read it first. She was still in town with her husband, and I’d written like crazy to get a draft to her while she was here.
I hadn’t slept much lately, but my mind felt lighter than ever as I stared at the final words on the screen, hoping the direction I’d gone in was the right one. Putting the story down had been good for me, and I only hoped reading it would be good for everyon
e else.
It’d turned into something I hadn’t expected. It was a story of kids who didn’t yet know the consequences of their actions.
It was an ode to the victim in all of us.
I breathed out, shutting the lid of my laptop, and walking out into the living room where my father was watching a movie with the boys.
Along with Dylan, he’d decided to stay until the results came in. None of us knew what they’d mean for Jackson, and we all wanted to be there. I smiled at the sight of him curled up with Declan on the couch.
A crack of thunder shook the house. It’d been raining all day. My father helped at the restaurant until we both left to pick up the boys. We were making great progress, and opening day was just around the corner.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I answered it without looking at the screen, hoping I’d hear Jamie’s voice on the other end.
It wasn’t him.
“California,” Scott, a publicist who worked for my publisher said. “I’m glad I could reach you.”
“Hi, Scott. What can I do for you?” I walked back into the kitchen.
“I know what you’re going to say to this, but we’d like you to do an interview.”
I didn’t answer him right away. I’d refused every interview request I’d received after Emma hit the bestseller list. My publisher hadn’t been happy at first, but then it added to the mystique of the book. The mysterious daughter of the mysterious actress who disappeared from Hollywood. This time it was going to be all me.
The word “no” was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t force it out.
“We want to build anticipation for this new book,” he went on.
“Okay,” I said, surprising even myself.
“Really?”
“I’ll do one. But I get to choose who we try to get to do the interview. Let me think about it, and I’ll get back to you.”
I hung up before he could object.
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