The rattle of the mail box slamming shut right outside the front door made me jump. An engine roared to life, and by the time I opened the door, the mailman was pulling away. I stepped out into the rain, trying to shield my face with my arm.
I reached in and pulled out the mail before ducking back inside. My shirt was wet, but I barely noticed as I flipped through envelopes. Bill, bill, junk, ads, then I stopped and let it all fall to the floor with the exception of one envelope. I clutched it to my chest and ran into the kitchen, away from little prying eyes.
It became harder and harder to breathe as I stared at the return address. This was it.
My fingers itched to tear it open, but I knew I couldn’t. Instead, I took out my phone and dialed Dylan.
“I’m on my way,” he said after I’d explained.
Twenty minutes later, we faced each other across the counter, the envelope laying against the granite between us.
Dylan looked a little rough, with his hair sticking out to the side and dark circles under his eyes. I’d been dwelling on how this test would affect me and Jamie, forgetting that Dylan had more stake in it than anyone.
He breathed deeply. “He’s my son no matter what.”
I nodded, reaching forward to take the envelope between my shaking hands. I slid my thumb under the flap releasing it from its sticky hold.
I unfolded the page inside and scanned my eyes across the words. Only one word jumped out at me.
“Match,” I whispered.
“What?” Dylan ripped the paper from my hands, needing to read it for himself. An elated smile spread across his handsome face, and he let out a laugh. “I knew it.”
“Congratulations,” I said. “You have a son.”
“Always did.” He flattened his hair with his hands. “Always did.”
I turned away from him, not sure what I should be feeling. All those years, I’d held on to Jamie, thinking we might be more connected than he knew. It’d been a mistake not to find out before then. I knew that now.
And it was up to me to bring the news to Jamie. A tear slid down my cheek, but I wiped it away before Dylan could see.
Jackson walked in to join us. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Dylan wrapped Jackson in a strong hug. “Everything is okay now.”
Jackson looked at me in question, but I’d already started moving toward the door. My dad was still in the living room with the younger two. He met my gaze, and I flicked my eyes back toward the kitchen where Dylan still was. Dad nodded in understanding.
“Can you do bed time tonight?” I asked. “I have to go and might not be back.”
“Of course.”
I didn’t know why it felt so immediate. The news would keep, but suddenly I needed to see Jamie. I needed him to know. I owed him that much.
The rain pounded along the darkened street as I merged onto the highway. It wouldn’t be too late when I got there at least.
The drive gave me time to clear my head and decide what I was going to say. I didn’t know if he’d be relieved or heartbroken. I didn’t know what I wanted him to be.
This was Jamie, the boy I’d known most of my life. I’d been in love with him since I was eighteen years old. I knew he was the one. My Jamie.
My tears fell in time with the rain, creating the soundtrack to my drive.
By the time I arrived outside the hotel Colby told me Jamie was staying at, I had no more tears. All I had was a knowledge that my stubborn will was about to clash with his. I wouldn’t let him destroy us.
I stalked by the front desk, taking the elevator up to the second floor. Standing outside his door, a puddle formed at my feet. I was soaked, but I didn’t care. I was sleep deprived, and it didn’t even matter.
My knocks echoed down the deserted hall, and I swore I could hear a clock ticking as I waited. And waited. I knocked again.
“Just a minute,” Jamie’s voice called from the other side.
A moment later, he opened the door.
24
Jamie
I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to Callie as she stood in my doorway like a frightened cat. She looked up at me, blinking rapidly. She bit her lip as I stared at her in silence.
When her eyes started to shine, I wanted to pull her to me and hold her to keep the tears at bay. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not this time. The stab of betrayal was still too fresh. The picture I’d kept in my head of her for the past ten years was now too broken.
“Can I…” She stopped herself for a moment and squared her shoulders. When she spoke again, there was more strength behind it. “I’m coming in.”
She pushed herself by me, and I didn’t stop her. I knew why she was there. I knew she’d come. They’d get the test done and then be able to tell me if all the secrets were worth it; if they’d done the right thing.
Callie walked past the bed, around the perfectly organized suitcase, and to the couch. The military had changed me from a messy, uncaring boy into an orderly, in-charge man. But she made no notice, and I hadn’t really expected her to.
She dropped her purse, and it hit the floor with a thud before she sat down.
“It’s late,” I finally said.
“No, it’s really not.”
She seemed to need to argue with me so I let her have that one. I knew how we got here, but I still didn’t understand it. Callie was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, anything that would keep her from falling apart. Her lips pursed together, refusing to tremble.
This was the girl I knew. The one who could raise three boys on her own and raise them well. When I was younger, I’d believed she could do anything. She was superhuman. Now I knew that she only believed she could do anything, and that might have been the more powerful of the two.
The TV was on across the room, and the talk-show I’d been watching returned from commercial.
“You watch Riley King?” she asked.
“This is a rerun, but yeah, I never miss it.” It was true. It’d been a tradition in my platoon - to watch this show together. Riley King was an Army Ranger turned talk show host. I’d kept up the tradition on my own. “Cal.” I turned away to escape from her penetrating eyes. “Just get on with it.”
“Will you talk to me first?” she asked as some of the strength seeped from her voice.
I closed my eyes with my back still facing her and breathed out a painful sigh. I couldn’t do it. I had so much anger, and it scared me. I didn’t want to hurt her so it was best we got this over with before I said something really harsh. “No.” I finally turned back around. “You came here for a reason. Tell me.”
Silent tears slid down her cheeks. As she shook her head, her dark hair hung forward to cover her face. “I’m sorry, Jamie.” She hiccupped a sob. “Oh gosh, I’m so so sorry.” She hunched forward and wiped furiously at her damp face as her facade of fearlessness shattered on that hotel room floor.
“Jackson is Dylan’s.” My voice cracked on the words. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I didn’t have the right to be disappointed. Dylan raised him. I didn’t. Callie chose Dylan to be Jackson’s father, and it seemed she chose right.
The hope I hadn’t dared acknowledge cracked like a fractured vase that could be put back together, but would never truly be the same.
I sat on the arm of the couch and wanted in that instant to reach out to Callie, to mourn the son who could have been ours. But she wasn’t mourning, only regretful, sorry. She felt sorry for me, not herself. We weren’t in it together. We never had been. All these years. I realized then that she hadn’t failed to get Jackson tested sooner because of me. It really had nothing to do with me. It was so Dylan would never lose his son.
“You should probably go,” I said, getting to my feet once more.
“Jamie.” She stood and rushed toward me. “Tell me what I can do.”
“Cal.”
“I love you,” she sobbed. “Don’t you get that, you big idiot. I’ve never stopped loving y
ou.”
When she kissed me, I let her. I let her push herself up against me and wrap her arms around the back of my neck. My head clouded, and I began to forget all the reasons I shouldn’t be doing this. When she started pushing my shirt up, I stopped her, placing my hands over hers.
“Cal.” I pushed her back. The hurt flashed across her face, and I couldn’t stand that I put it there, but there was no helping it. “California, I’m not coming back.”
“What?” She stumbled back.
“I’m taking a contract job at my old base in Georgia.”
She narrowed her now dry eyes. “You’re just leaving?”
I nodded slowly.
She shoved me with both hands, and I wasn’t prepared. My back slammed into the wall. I reached out to grab her as she stormed by, but she swung her arm out of my reach.
“Coward,” she yelled. “You’re running. Again! I never should have let myself believe in you again. The only thing you ever do is let me down.”
“Me?” I yelled. “You’ve been lying to me for ten freaking years.”
“Oh, you mean the ten years you didn’t speak to me? Those ten years?”
“Yeah, the ones when you were raising a boy you thought could have been my son. With another man!”
“Maybe I knew you too well, Jamie Daniels.” She lowered her voice to plunge the final dagger into my flesh. “Maybe I did what was right for my son. I couldn’t count on you then, and it looks like nothing has changed.”
She turned as if to storm away, but didn’t go.
“I would have married the hell out of you,” I admitted.
She turned to face me.
“Maybe not back then, but we’re older now, and I thought we were on the same page. Callie, you fell in love with another man, and that’s okay. But you chose that love over ours when you decided he was the father. Now you know that he really is, and I know what that means for me. You’ll never be free of what made you marry him. It’ll never be me, not anymore. And I can’t take that. You’re right. I’m a coward, but I don’t know how to be anything else.”
Tears shone on her face as she looked up at me once more and gave her head a little nod. She smiled sadly, her lips quivering, before leaving the way she had come. I was starting to think Callie and I were always destined to be at odds.
I shut the door, closing that part of my life for good, and collapsed onto the bed.
25
Callie
I didn’t go home that night. I couldn’t face my boys with tears in my eyes and a broken heart. Aunt Kat and Noah’s place was only a few minutes away, giving me barely enough time to pull myself together.
Kat was surprised to see me, but waited for me to be ready to tell her what happened.
Noah made us tea as we sat on the couch, and I explained everything.
“It’s good that it was Dylan, right?” she asked.
I nodded. “But, Kat, I don’t think Jamie will ever forgive me.”
“Oh, honey.” She smoothed back my hair. “That boy loves you.”
“Sometimes that isn’t enough.”
The next morning, I left early, anxious to get home and see my family. Dylan and my dad both left the next day. They had to get back to work.
Life tried to regain its normal rhythm, but nothing felt normal to me. The boys went to school. We made heaps of progress at the restaurant. Opening day was coming, and I had confidence we’d be ready.
It was Friday morning, and we were ahead of schedule, so I gave the work crew the day off. It was the first time in a while that I didn’t have any obligations. No book to work on, no kids to take care of, no business to start.
I stood on the beach clad in my old wet-suit, with a board under my arm. It’d been a while, and the waves were rolling today. My mind drifted back to Jamie teaching Jackson to surf and then even further to my mom teaching me. If there was anything that could make me feel like myself again, this was it.
I ran into the water and paddled out, realizing how a lack of surfing had made me ridiculously out of shape. I scooped my arms through the water, relishing the burn that traveled the length of my biceps and into my back as I moved and stretched.
When I was far enough out, I sat up and kicked around. There weren’t many people out today, so the waves were mine for the taking. I chose one deliberately and started moving furiously to stay ahead of it. When I pushed up, I tucked my legs underneath me and stood up, wobbling slightly before regaining my balance. It turned out to be an easy ride, and I let it carry me in until it turned to foam.
I almost turned to head back out when someone caught my attention on the beach. Morgan ran toward me, her arms spread wide. I walked up onto the sand and dropped my board moments before she lunged at me, not caring that I was sopping wet.
“Uh, hi.” I laughed for what felt like the first time in days.
She released me and was still grinning from ear to ear. Taking my hands in hers, she looked me in the eyes. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“It’s perfect.”
It clicked, and I knew exactly what she was speaking of. I’d sent her the early draft of my new book. A warmth spread inside me, replacing the nervousness the thought of that book elicited.
“It’s okay?” I asked.
“Cal, it’s closure for all of us. You gave us such a gift.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I made my mom read it. Afterwards, I found her looking at pictures of my brother and smiling. Smiling. She’s been in such a dark place for so long. The way you painted Troy - he wasn’t just another nameless victim in a senseless shooting. Heck, the way you painted all of us. You made us, our friendship, seem… I don’t know. Does invincible sound cheesy?”
I smiled. “No, invincible sounds pretty darn good.”
“You know what my mom did? She took me with her to Matthew’s parents’ house. Did you know I’d met his grandfather before?”
I shook my head no, even though the image of Morgan and Seth sitting next to each other after the shooting wasn’t one I’d soon forget.
“Publish the book. I want the world to see us as you do. I want the world to know that even when we break, we can be invincible.”
I grabbed my board and looped my arm with hers, knowing she was right. She led me to the parking lot, and I followed her back to my house where she sat beside me as I sent the full draft to my editor.
When I’d submitted Emma, I’d been terrified. Now I felt liberated, empowered.
Our opening went well, but every time I walked through the door, I was reminded of how excited Jamie had been for me. He’d been a part of this place. So had my mom. Neither of them were there.
My dad called to wish me luck, and to my surprise, so did Dylan.
But the rest of my family was there.
An arm wrapped around my shoulders, and I looked up to see Colby grinning. He’d been trying to cheer me up for days. Jamie had once been his best friend, but I would always be his sister.
Jay and Morgan joined us. When the four of us were together, it still felt like a fifth link was missing. I spent the opening talking to reviewers, and people who’d come just to see the restaurant that was inspired by the enigmatic Emma Bay. We’d made it into a new South Florida guide book. This place was going to succeed, I could feel it.
Every bite that came out of the kitchen was fantastic. The drinks were well made. All the hard work and invested funds were paying off. But I still couldn’t bring myself to be happy about it.
Over the past week, Jackson and Liam both asked about Jamie. They’d grown fond of him and missed him. I didn’t know what to say to them so I just said I didn’t know where he was. In truth, I knew that he was back in Georgia, back in his old life - the one where he didn’t talk to any of us.
The time finally came for Morgan to rejoin her husband in London, and I was sad to see her go. She brought a joy to life that I’d missed.
I took the boys to Jay’s for dinner on the Monday after opening since
the restaurant was closed on Mondays. Amber greeted us and immediately led the boys outside to play. Jay hugged me tightly as he always did. I still had trouble seeing him and Jamie as brothers. They were so different. For one thing, Jay was dependable.
“How you doing?” he asked, leading me toward the living room where they had a bar set up.
“Can I answer that once I have a drink in my hand?”
“That bad?”
“No. I have three beautiful and healthy boys, a restaurant that just opened successfully, and a new book with my publisher. I’m just peachy.” He handed me a whiskey. I took a sip, letting the burn soothe me. “People like me aren’t supposed to complain.”
He sat down with his own drink and motioned for me to sit beside him. “Everyone has a right to their own unhappiness.”
The ice clinked together as I swirled my glass, entranced by the amber liquid. “I feel ungrateful. I have everything, but feel like I have nothing. Why can’t it be enough? Why can’t my kids be enough?”
Jay jumped when I slammed my glass down on the coffee table.
“He left, Jay. He didn’t want to fight, so he abandoned all of us, again.”
Jay stayed suspiciously quiet.
“Have you heard from him?” I asked.
He set his glass down and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “Yes.”
“I guess that’s something. At least it’s just me he hates.”
Jay started to respond to that, but Jackson ran inside with Liam hot on his heels. “Aunt Amber says it’s time to eat. She made meatballs.”
I laughed at that. “Of course she did. That’s your favorite.” I stood and left my drink on the table as I followed my son.
Dinner was never a quiet affair with those three. They talked through the entire meal and ate their weight in meatballs.
When it was time to leave, Jay held me back. “He doesn’t hate you, Cal.”
“You don’t know that.”
“He didn’t take the job in Georgia.”
I snapped my eyes toward his.
Invincible- The Complete Set Page 33
