Lane

by Trent Jordan

  The second was that he really did value the privacy and really did want to understand and discuss things.

  The third, which I only just considered now, was that both options were on the table.

  The only thought that really stayed in my mind was the recurring theme that it wasn’t a bad idea. It wasn’t necessarily something I was all in on, but I couldn’t see much harm coming from it. Honestly... if I did sleep with him, he was pretty handsome. And it wasn’t like it could confuse things any further.

  After talking with Beth, after all, it was pretty apparent that true objectivity was impossible.

  Fuck it. Might be a bad decision, but, hell, whatever.

  “Yeah, I’m down. Where and when?”

  He wrote back immediately.

  “My place. Tonight. Come over whenever.”

  I gulped. That could not have been a stronger invite if I tried. I couldn’t believe I was considering this.

  And yet, as I thought about Lane, the individual, as I thought about my relationship with him, both professional and otherwise, a large part of it just felt right. It just felt like it made sense to go.

  “Okay, send me your address.”

  Lane

  As soon as she said yes, I felt like I had a second chance to make things right.

  I couldn’t help it. The more I was able to look past her role in the district attorney’s office, the more I saw her as an individual, the more I liked her. Even if we got to the moment of truth and I just didn’t know how to handle it, she would still make for a great friend and someone I wanted to keep around.

  Obviously, Shannon still stuck in my mind rather strongly. The notion that I’d hook up with Angela and all would be completely normal was ridiculous, but it was equally ridiculous for me to say I couldn’t do anything with Angela just because of my past with Shannon. We were adults, and no one was being disrespected.

  Just back out at any second if it doesn’t feel right. You know you can do that, and you’ll be fine. And you know she will too.

  I didn’t think that would happen, though. I was just happy that my last memory of her wasn’t going to be her storming out of Brewskis in an uncontrolled hysteria, furious that she had made out with me.

  There were benefits to her sleeping with me, don’t get me wrong. The club would benefit from having another member of the DA’s office on its side, but that wasn’t the reason I was doing this. I just genuinely liked the girl.

  In fact, in some ways, she might just... well, it was blasphemous to say, but she might be an even better fit for me than Shannon. Angela set firmer boundaries and was more straightforward and was just as passionate about making a difference. It was way too early, of course, to actually say that, but the thought did cross my mind.

  Be careful, though. Getting a little clouds-in-the-sky right now because she’s a great girl. Just be careful not to hurt your club in the process.

  Quite a lot of changes happening in my world these days, though, and mostly for the better.

  I told Angela to come over and had two bottles of wine waiting on the kitchen table just as I heard her car pull up to my apartment. I was wearing a black v-neck shirt, some gray shorts, and some sandals. I looked properly casual yet not sloppy. I suppose I could have looked more “club official,” but this wasn’t church, this was having a nice date with a nice lady.

  I heard the knock on my door, which made my heart skip a beat. This, in itself, felt a little crazy. I was pretty sure if not for the drama of nearly losing her and then surprisingly getting her back, this wouldn’t have happened.

  I opened the door, and there stood Angela. She wore a low-crop black dress that showed off her cleavage mighty well and jeans that shaped perfectly around her pear-shaped ass. My best hopes for how her body had looked had come true, and I did my best not to show how pleasantly happy I was to see how sexy she looked.

  I couldn’t totally account for it, though—some bodily reactions couldn’t be handled.

  “Well, hello there,” I said, hugging her.

  We didn’t kiss, but I wasn’t worried about that. It probably would have felt like too much if I’d tried to kiss her immediately. Better to let it build and let things settle back into the groove.

  “Nice place,” she said with a gentle smile as she pulled back from the hug and went to the table. “And you got wine? Do I see some Chardonnay?”

  “Indeed,” I said. “Is that your favorite?”

  “Did you know?”

  She wasn’t quite as flirtatious as she had been at Brewskis, but then again, she had been extraordinarily flirtatious at Brewskis. I think it was much more accurate to say that she was trying to feel her way out, that she was keeping her guard up in case she decided to back out.

  “Lucky guess, I’d imagine,” I said with a shrug.

  Though it still hurt like hell in my left shoulder, it was not as deep into the depths of hell as before. Now, it just sort of annoyed me, not felt like it was going to break every time I lifted my arm up. Promising if things get hot and heavy.

  “Come on, let’s head to the couch,” I said. “Let’s take a seat.”

  “Well, I gotta have some wine first,” she said with a slight smirk. “I mean, I assume you’re not just going to withhold the wine, right?”

  “Oh, right,” I said, rubbing my hair with my hand, feeling slightly embarrassed that it might have looked like I was rushing things. “Yeah, let me, uh, let me open that.”

  I never feel rushed and nervous. I’m supposed to be acting cocky and arrogant. What the hell is going on?

  Damnit, Angela, you weren’t supposed to be making me feel like this!

  I opened the Chardonnay and poured her and me a glass. I then motioned for Angela to follow me. She sat close enough that she could touch me, but not quite so close that it was as if she was sitting on my lap.

  “So,” I said when we both sat down. “The last time I saw you, let’s just say things didn’t go well. We kissed, and then you ran off. What changed? Why did you reach out?”

  “Getting right to it, huh?” Angela said as she sipped on her wine.

  There was something about the way she looked at me right there, though, that made me wonder if maybe I had been reading her wrong. Instead of thinking that she was being guarded, I wondered if she was deliberately trying to test me by going slow. The glimmer in her eye seemed very sexual but also very subdued, like I would only have noticed it if I was paying close attention.

  In other words, it was like a pop quiz to see how my patience was.

  “After I left, I just thought I had to get the hell out of town. I felt like I had failed in everything I’d come here to do, and so I started looking for jobs. In fact, this morning, the first thing I did was walk into Beth Johnson’s office and tell her I was quitting.”

  “Damn!”

  “Beth, though, pulled me aside, sat me down, and explained what you and your club do for the town,” she said. “I’m not going to say it was the most easily digestible thing I’d ever heard in my life. I still struggle to understand parts of it. But... ”

  She let her words trail off as she sipped her wine. I began to suspect that she had done that on purpose to get me to talk.

  It worked pretty well.

  “But what? What did she say about us?”

  A flicker of a smirk appeared on Angela’s face.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she said.

  “Oh, come on,” I said, begging as I patted her knee.

  I swore her face blushed when I did so, which told me everything I needed to know. I’d suspected she still liked me, but it was always nice to have a confirmation like that before moving forward.

  “She said your father and your club have always sought to protect this city,” she said. “Oh, and she said you could be arrogant.”

  I got a laugh at that.

  “Why is that funny?” she said, although she had a smile when she said it.

  Well, you didn’t tell her befor
e, you might as well tell her now.

  “This doesn’t leave this room,” I said.

  “Well, duh,” Angela said, but it was getting harder and harder for her to maintain her guarded facade. Bit by bit, I was getting her to reveal more of her lustful, interesting side.

  “The last few months at the club, the other members have been getting on me for being too aloof and arrogant, and a lot of it, frankly, has to do with the fear of dying. I saw my father die, I saw Shannon die. I don’t want to die. I’m scared to. And I hid that by being cocky and sure of myself in a very public way. But recent events have, well, let’s leave it at they’ve forced me to drop the facade and face my fears.”

  Angela nodded, blinked slowly, and then took a sip of her wine.

  “I suppose you should still be a little careful not to go into more detail.”

  Then, as if for dramatic effect, she finished the rest of her wine in one big gulp.

  “But, I have been known to also claim that I don’t remember certain events when I have more wine.”

  I didn’t even wait for her to add anything else. I grabbed her glass, kissed her hand in a grand gesture, and headed back to the kitchen, pouring a half-full glass as quickly as I could. It was certainly more than the typical allotment or what a waiter would have poured, but let’s just say I wasn’t trying to get just a tip tonight.

  “Smart boy,” she said as she took another sip. “But that’s brave of you to admit, Lane. Beth was, seriously, very complimentary of you.”

  “Thanks,” I said with a smile. “But I’ll bet she was more complimentary of you. She probably didn’t want to see you go.”

  “Well, she did say I was fired from quitting, so there’s that!”

  At that, Angela let out a loud laugh, leaning into me, and I knew that the barrier between us was now officially broken. Maybe some remains of it would stay until she had kissed me, but that now felt like an inevitability. She wouldn’t have leaned into me like so if she wasn’t going to kiss me.

  “What else did she say?” I asked out of curiosity.

  Angela then recounted what she described as “the entirety of the conversation”—what my father was like, what the club did for the town, and what threat the Saints posed. I knew Lucius had been a former member of the Reapers, but I had not known his actual name was Lex. Otherwise, it was things I already knew.

  Still, it was somewhat emotional hearing a public figure like Beth Johnson talking about my father in such strong terms. While I always knew she was on our side, there was a part of me that wondered if my father had used coercive methods or bribes to ever get what he needed. I supposed it was very possible that he had, but there was no reason for Beth to lie to Angela about that—I certainly wasn’t going to bribe Angela in the future, even if we were still seeing each other, because even if I tried, she was too strong and stubborn to accept such a thing.

  “So I take it you’re still employed,” I said.

  “I am,” she said. “I told Beth I would let her know what I decided tomorrow, but I already know my answer. I just don’t want to look desperate.”

  She chortled, but as she did so, I saw my opening.

  “Well, forgive me if this sounds desperate,” I said as I put my arm around her. “But I don’t need until tomorrow to decide how I feel about you.”

  “Hmm,” Angela said, turning her head to me with a gentle smile. “And how do you feel about me?”

  Many things came to the tip of my tongue that I could have said that might have aroused her or excited her. But there was nothing that could compare to bold action.

  I swept her against me and kissed her, pressing my lips onto hers with much more aggression than our first kiss yesterday. I pressed into her until she fell into the couch, my hips grinding and pressing into hers.

  No clothes were coming off yet, but that seemed like an inevitability at this point. She took my face in her hands and gently ran her fingers across my cheeks. I moved my lips down to her neck and gently bit her, drawing moans and gasps. It wasn’t hurting that I was bulging in my pants, and the pressure on her hips was getting her off.

  I moved my hands under her ass and squeezed, causing her to yip out in pleasure. She giggled as I squeezed it some more and then pulled her up to me. Her breasts, still covered by her shirt and bra, shoved into me, and I ran my fingers up her shirt, feeling her stomach and clawing my way to her chest. She tilted her head back in pleasure before reaching to my neck.

  That was my spot, and that was it. This foreplay business couldn’t wait any longer. I lifted her up, continuing to kiss her chest, and I walked her to my room, taking care not to hit her head on the ceiling or on the walls.

  When I got inside, I got her to the bed and set her down. I laughed as I sat by the edge of the bed.

  And then...

  I was but a couple of inches from her, with her sitting up to come to me. I could have taken her easily right there, I could have grabbed her face and pulled her to me and made her mine.

  But there was something about her face in the shadows, something about the way she smiled, something about her presence...

  I’m not ready for this.

  And judging by Angela’s expression, she didn’t seem to be either.

  “Does this feel wrong to you?” she asked as she slid over, putting a hand on my leg.

  I gulped and nodded.

  “From a certain perspective, yes,” I said. “And I don’t mean the perspective of you being the Assistant DA and me being the President of the Black Reapers.”

  Angela nodded and bowed her head. I don’t think either of us are ready for this.

  “You know, the crazy part is, it’s not like she’s physically here,” Angela said. “We’re adults, and we understand how things are. There aren’t any rules against this. But... I don’t know. It feels like I’m trying to steal you from her.”

  “And it feels like I’m cheating on her,” I said, shaking my head. “This is stupid, I know.”

  “No, it’s not—”

  “It is, a little,” I said. “Maybe part of it is knowing that if I sleep with you, that it’s like I’m officially leaving Shannon behind. Like, I’m closing the book on that part of my life.”

  I was surprised at how emotional I was feeling at that.

  “Do you feel the same way?” I said. “Angela? How do you feel?”

  Angela sighed, wore a sad smile, and patted my leg reassuringly a couple of times.

  “I like you,” she said. “Maybe from a career perspective, this isn’t smart, but I don’t feel that way after Beth. I’m an adult. I can compartmentalize things. But from the perspective of Shannon? I’m confused.”

  “That’s the perfect word,” I said, causing us both to laugh. “Confused.”

  We were confused about what we might be. We were confused about the implications of what we were doing. We were confused about how Shannon might have felt about this. We were confused about if we should even concern ourselves with what she would have thought.

  It didn’t really matter, in one way. She was gone, and nothing was going to bring her back. But...

  Fuck, why can’t emotions be easy? Why can’t I just ignore them and move on with things?

  “I think we both have a lot to figure out, and we have to go slow to figure it out,” Angela said.

  “I’d agree with that,” I said. “And just to be clear, I like you too, even if you intentionally lose at pool.”

  “Oh my God, you knew?”

  We both had a much-needed laugh at that.

  “No one misses a shot like you had. Why, if I didn’t even know any better, I’d swear you wanted me to kiss you.”

  “Why, I never,” Angela said in an exaggerated fashion.

  “Well, I always,” I said, and I leaned forward to kiss her.

  Strangely, that much felt fine. Sex might have been pushing the boundary, but showing I liked Angela by kissing her didn’t feel wrong. It felt like the appropriate action—nothing about i
t made me feel uncomfortable.

  “Let’s just promise each other that we’re going to be emotionally honest and vulnerable with each other,” Angela said. “Can you do that?”

  Can I? It’s literally all I’ve been doing with the Reapers for the last few weeks. No problem.

  “I’ll do my best,” I said with a warm smile.

  I looked her up and down as she smiled. I had to admit, from a physical perspective, sleeping with Angela would be a delight. She had such a lithe but fit body, the kind of body that promised tightness and warmth. I was slowly getting harder thinking about her.

  But emotionally... I would have gotten a minute or so in, realized I couldn’t have faked it, and lost all arousal to her. That could not happen.

  “Just do me one favor,” I said.

  “Hmm.”

  “Sleep here tonight,” I said. “With the wine you’ve had, I don’t want you to do anything stupid. You can take the couch. You know it’s quite comfortable.”

  “Well aware of that,” she said with a gentle smile.

  “Come on, I’ll get you some blankets and a pillow.”

  Angela did as I requested, following me out and heading to the couch. I threw her a blanket from the closet and headed to the bedroom. When I came back, she had her back turned to me and had taken her pants off, leaving her in just her shirt, bra, and underwear. Her lithe, smooth legs had me aroused in an instant, and the temptation to just bulldoze ahead, take her for myself, and fuck her on the couch was a strong one.

  But...

  No, not tonight.

  Not until I could figure out if I could sleep with her without feeling guilty. She deserved better than that.

  I let out a gentle cough to let her know I was there. She didn’t seem fazed at all by it, turning to face me with a warm smile.

  “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” I said as I put a pillow on the blanket.

  Nodding, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. It was the softest, most tender kiss, and it told me all I needed to know. I’ll be here for you, and I’ll support whatever you do.

  “Sleep well, Lane,” she said as I headed for my room.