The Only Things You Can Take (Wildflower Romance #2)

by Stacy Claflin

  “I told her I wouldn’t leave.”

  Lincoln and Mom exchange a knowing glance.

  “It doesn’t matter what I feel, okay? She needs a friend, and that’s what I’m being. Kade can’t be here for her, so I’m stepping in. That’s all. Nothing more.”

  Mom rises and kisses my cheek. “Call me when you’re ready to come home. Dad or I will come and get you.”

  “Sounds good.”

  After they leave, I settle into a chair then close my eyes. I try to sleep, figuring Sutton and her mom have a lot to talk about. But instead of sleep, my mind gives me images of Kade and Sutton as the happy couple. There’s no denying how perfect they were for each other. I loved watching them together. They gave me hope that I might find the same kind of happiness.

  I never once dreamed that it would be Sutton I’d eventually fall for. I’d have never done that to Kade. Yet here I am. Just the thought of her gives my heart palpitations. Seeing her beauty makes me want—no, need—to kiss those lips.

  But I can’t. For both her and for Kade. I have to keep my desires to myself and be okay with it. We need each other to be able to get past our unsurmountable loss. What happens beyond that is anyone’s guess. And I have to be okay with whatever the outcome is. The last thing I’m going to do is ruin our friendship and add further hardship to Sutton’s life.

  “Anchor.”

  I open my eyes to find Sutton’s mom sitting next to me. Her expression is unreadable, which means she’s probably pissed at me.

  “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

  She shakes her head. “Don’t be.”

  “Huh?” I give her a double-take. Maybe I actually fell asleep and am dreaming.

  “I needed to hear that. I’ve been letting my ex get the best of me, but what I need to do is stop engaging. I didn’t think Sutton knew we’ve been fighting, but obviously she has overheard me on the phone with him. I just spoke with her and apologized. Told her I’m done.”

  Basically, she’s saying I was right? Too bad Mom isn’t here to hear her say that. “I’m sure she was glad to hear that.”

  Rori nods. “She was. I only wish I knew how she was feeling earlier, maybe this could’ve been avoided. But Sutton hasn’t been opening up to me much since the accident.”

  “It was the most traumatic moment of her life. I got there right after he died in her arms.”

  Tears shine in her eyes. “I hate that you two have to deal with that, that he had to die. Kade really was such a good kid. But at least you two have each other.” She rests her hand on my arm. “Thank you for being there for Sutton. I’m really glad she has you.”

  “I’m glad we have each other. We know what each other is going through. I honestly don’t know how I’d have gotten through the last few months without her.”

  “You’ve been more of a friend to her through all of this than any of her other friends.”

  “I don’t think they know how to handle this. I’m sure I wouldn’t have before losing my best friend.”

  She wipes her eyes. “It’s just so unfair that you two have to deal with that.” She squeezes my arm, then stands. “They moved Sutton to room five-fifty-two. It’s clear across the hospital. Do you want me to show you where it is?”

  “Are you headed that way?” I rise.

  She shakes her head no. “I’m going to the airport. Rogan and Kenna are flying in.”

  “Go pick them up. I’ll find Sutton’s room. Five-fifty-two?”

  “Yes.” Rori gives me a hug, then leaves.

  I head for the main part of the hospital and realize just how exhausted I actually am. My bones and muscles ache. Even my skin hurts. But I’m going to hold myself together for Sutton. She’s in a lot worse shape than I am, and I need to be there for her.

  When I finally make it to her room, she’s sleeping despite the various machines attached to her. My breath hitches. I tiptoe over and study her beautiful face, gently tracing the scars left from the accident. She must usually cover them with makeup because they’re more pronounced now, as are an adorable sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

  “You’re gorgeous,” I whisper. “You don’t need to cover anything up.”

  Sutton

  I’m not sure what woke me, but a nurse is bustling around me.

  “Didn’t mean to wake you, sweetie. How are you feeling?” She gives me a friendly smile.

  “Okay. Better than before.”

  “That’s what I like to hear. And it looks like your bleeding has stopped. That doesn’t mean you should run a marathon, but you should be able to go home and rest in your own bed soon.”

  Relief washes through me. “How soon?”

  “The doctor will be in for his rounds in an hour or two. He might give you the okay then. I can’t make any promises, but it looks good. If you need anything, press the call button right here, okay?”

  “Thanks.” I smile and stretch as the nurse leaves. The baby moves around, offering me more to be relieved about. It’s going to be okay—no, she’s going to be okay. I’m having a daughter. Kade’s baby is a girl. It feels surreal to know already. I’m sure he would’ve loved having a little girl. He’d have been the ultimate doting dad.

  Tears blur my vision. I hate that life is going on without him. That he can’t be here to experience everything. He had been so full of life, so excited for the future. Why did he have to die? Or why couldn’t it have been the two of us together? How did the accident kill him when I walked away with only the scars on my face?

  Permanent reminders. Not that I could ever forget.

  Something on my right rustles. I turn to see Anchor curled up on a chair next to the bed. He stayed with me all this time?

  His eyelids flutter, then open. His mouth curves into a smile. “Good morning. Are you feeling better?”

  My heart warms. “Yeah, but I can’t believe you stayed here all night in that chair.”

  He sits up and cracks his neck. “It’s definitely not the Four Seasons, but I can’t complain.”

  “It’s probably more expensive than a luxury hotel.”

  “I’m sure it is.” He leans closer. “Do you need anything?”

  “Not unless you can take me home.”

  “I would if I could, but my car isn’t here. I couldn’t sneak you away if I wanted.”

  “Well, the nurse said it might only be an hour or two.”

  “And you’ll be on bed rest?”

  “That’s what it sounds like, even though the bleeding stopped.”

  His expression lifts. “You’re going home, though. That’s great news.”

  “But since they don’t know what caused it, I have to stay in bed. During the fall. I was hoping to visit the pumpkin patch and go on a hayride.”

  Anchor scrunches his face. “I’m not sure I can do much about the hayride, but if you can’t go to the pumpkin patch, I can bring it to you.”

  “Bring it to me?”

  “I’ll fill your room with so many pumpkins, gourds, and corn stalks, you’ll feel like you’ve moved into the field.”

  I grin. “Why do I have the feeling you’d actually do that?”

  He leans even closer. “Because you know me too well.”

  I start to say something, but then stop and stare at something written on the whiteboard.

  “What?” Anchor asks.

  I struggle to breathe. “Is that today’s date?”

  He glances over at the board. “Yeah.”

  My body shakes uncontrollably. The room feels ten degrees colder.

  Anchor swears. Repeatedly.

  Kade’s birthday.

  He should be turning nineteen. We should all be at Harvard, planning a big bash. Instead, we’re at the hospital and Kade is in a casket, six feet underneath his gravestone.

  The room spins around me. I look down to my lap and see him bleeding and gasping for his final breaths.

  “I’m right here.” Anchor’s voice pulls me from the vivid memory bac
k to the hospital.

  I struggle to breathe. I’d been aware his birthday was coming, but it came up so fast. The days have been running together, making it hard for me to tell the difference from one day to the next. A week and a day feel the same.

  Anchor has an arm around me. He’s next to me on the hospital bed. Keeping me from falling apart.

  It’s not going to work. I’m going to fall apart, anyway. Probably going to start bleeding again if I don’t pull myself together.

  The nurse runs in. “What’s going on? The heart monitor alarm went off.”

  Anchor says something. I close my eyes, unable to concentrate. I’m glad he can tell the nurse what’s going on. There’s no way I can do it.

  The nurse checks my vitals. She’s saying something to me. I try to focus. I can’t.

  It’s Kade’s birthday. But he isn’t any older. He isn’t anything. Just a memory.

  “I need you to answer me, sweetie.”

  “What?” I turn to the nurse, finally able to focus on her face.

  Her hazel eyes are kind. “Think about your baby. Focus on the good things. I know your grief is overwhelming. My first husband died. It feels like you’ll never recover, but you will. Let the people who love you help. Focus on all the good things. He would’ve wanted you to do that.”

  “Okay.” I take shallow breaths.

  “Right?” She puts a hand on mine. “He wouldn’t want you to be miserable, would he?”

  I glance back at the date scrawled on the board. “He’d have wanted to celebrate his birthday.”

  “Then you should do that.” She glances at Anchor. “Maybe you could pick up his favorite food and a cake, then bring it to Sutton once she’s settled in at home. You two can sing happy birthday to him. Honor him, even though he can’t celebrate with you. Or at least you can’t see him. Maybe he’s having a party up in Heaven, looking down on you.”

  I can’t respond, so I turn to Anchor.

  He takes my hand in his and squeezes. “Do you want to do that? Sing to him over a cake and supreme pizza?”

  I swallow and nod. “And orange pop. He loved orange pop.”

  “Cake, pizza, and Fanta. Consider it done.”

  “Thank you.” I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes.

  He and the nurse talk, but I can’t focus. All I can think about is Kade and his birthday. And his present tucked away in my closet. I’d gotten it months before the accident—a signed poster of his favorite baseball player. He’d loved the Mariners and had dragged me to countless games until I’d become a fan.

  Yet I hadn’t watched a single game all summer. Hadn’t even thought about it.

  “Are you okay?” Anchor’s voice brings me back to the present.

  “No, but I’ll get there.”

  He squeezes my hand again. “If you don’t want to sing, we don’t have to. Whatever you want to do.”

  “It might be stupid, but I’d like to. I think he’d like it.”

  “It’s not stupid.”

  Knock, knock!

  I groan. The last thing I want is to see anyone.

  “Are you decent?” My brother’s voice drifts in.

  I bolt forward. “Rogan! Come in!”

  My brother races in. The first thing I notice is that his dark hair is longer than it was the last time I saw him, and now it has green highlights. Kenna follows him, and they envelop me in hugs.

  She kisses my cheek. “We’re on break between tours, so we’re going to stay here to be at your beck and call.”

  Anchor scoots off the bed and steps back. He picks at lint on his shirt.

  I clear my throat. “I don’t want to take all your time. Besides, you’ll have to fight Anchor to help me out. He’s been doing a wonderful job.”

  Rogan turns and shakes Anchor’s hand. “Thanks for everything you’ve done for my baby sister.”

  “Baby?” I arch a brow.

  Kenna grins and pokes her fiancé. “You’d better start thinking of her as the adult she is, especially since she’s going to have a baby herself.”

  Rogan groans. “I still can’t get used to that.”

  I scoot to sit up taller. “It’s a girl. You’re going to have a niece.”

  “Uncle Rogan.” Kenna snuggles up to him. “I kind of like the sound of that.”

  He puts his arm around her but looks at me. “You still planning on keeping it?”

  “Her,” I correct. “Yes, definitely.”

  “What about school?”

  I wrinkle my nose at him. “Asks the guy who never went.”

  He rubs a tattoo of a guitar on his forearm that represents his career as a rock star. “I think I’m doing pretty well for myself without it. What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to go later.”

  “When?”

  “Would you get off my back? You’re starting to sound like Dad.”

  His expression darkens. “I’m nothing like him.”

  “Then trust me to take care of myself. I’m not going to throw my life away.”

  Anchor steps around them and puts his arm around me. “The doctor’s orders are for her to avoid stress.”

  Rogan nods. “Understood. I’m not trying to stress you out, Sutton. You can’t blame a big brother for worrying, though.”

  He and Kenna pull up seats, and we catch up for a while until the doctor comes and shoos the others out. Once he’s done, he types on the computer in the corner.

  “Does this mean I can go home?” I ask.

  He nods. “Yes, it does. The nurse will print out instructions for you since you’re likely to forget everything after you leave. But the gist of it is that you’ll need to rest in bed until you see your regular doctor. If she gives you the green light, then you can get off bedrest, however I recommend continuing to take it easy. We don’t want you to end up back here again.”

  “No, definitely not.”

  An hour later and after signing what felt like a hundred papers, we finally climb into Rogan’s car.

  Kenna gestures to the passenger seat. “Do you want to sit up front?”

  “Thanks, but I’d like to sit with Anchor.”

  We settle in and Rogan flips through some music before stopping at a Cyndi Lauper song. “Who’s in the mood for eighties’ music?”

  “Sounds good to me.” I lean against Anchor, and everything feels right in the world. Almost everything. I try not to think about what day it is.

  A new song plays, and the opening tune sends a wave of warmth through me. One of my all-time favorite love songs. It used to play on the radio when Mom and Dad were married, during much happier times.

  But this time, the opening line is like a knife to my heart. It slices through my chest, cutting into my lungs, making it so I can’t breathe.

  “Sutton?” Anchor stares at me. “Sutton!”

  I can’t breathe. The song repeats the opening line again.

  “What’s the matter?” Anchor demands.

  My mouth won’t cooperate.

  Then his eyes widen. He turns to the front. “Turn off that song! Now!”

  The car goes silent. Rogan pulls off to the side of the road. “What’s wrong?”

  Kenna turns to him. “It’s Cutting Crew’s song, (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight.”

  I nod, struggling to breathe. I’m both reliving that horrible night and in my brother’s car at the same time.

  Rogan swears. “I’m so sorry, Sutton. I didn’t realize.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Tears finally come and I throw myself against Anchor, sobbing into his chest.

  I’m never going to get over losing Kade.

  Anchor

  I kiss Sutton’s forehead and readjust the blankets around her.

  The bedroom door opens, and Kenna steps inside. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s sleeping.”

  “Oh, good.” She breathes a sigh of relief. “Rogan says he’ll go shopping with you.”

  “Sho
pping?”

  “For the cake, pizza, and pop.”

  For Kade’s birthday. “Right. Okay, thanks. I almost forgot about that after Sutton got so upset.”

  Kenna gives me a sad smile. “I’ll stay in here with her, if it’ll make you feel better.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  She sits on the edge of the bed. “I’d do anything for Sutton. She was there for me when I was at my lowest point. I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her and Rogan.”

  I nod. They’ve been through so much that the lyrics they write hit deep emotions. That’s part of what makes their band so popular. That and the crazy amount of musical talent they both have.

  Without a word, I make my way downstairs. Voices sound from the dining room, so I go there. I skid to a stop when I see Kade’s parents talking with Rogan and his mom. I haven’t seen them since the funeral. “Mr. and Mrs. Steyn.”

  His mom gives me a sad smile. “It’s good to see you again, Anchor.”

  Guilt stings. “I’ve been meaning to come over. I just… it, uh—”

  “Hurts.” She nods. “We completely understand.”

  I stick my hands in my pants pockets. “Still, it’s no excuse. You guys have been like second parents to me. I really have been thinking about stopping by.”

  Mr. Steyn puts his hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, Anchor. We understand. This has been hard on all of us. You and Kade were best friends since you were toddling around. I’m sure you feel lost. We do.”

  The lump returns to my throat and I don’t want to risk speaking, so I hug him. Then Kade’s mom joins us.

  I find my voice. “I’ll visit you soon. I promise.”

  After we pull away, Rogan gets my attention. “Do you want me to pick up that stuff we talked about?”

  The pizza, soda and cake for Kade’s birthday. “I can get it.”

  “No, let me. You stay.” He glances over at Kade’s parents.

  I can’t very well argue at this point. “Thanks. Sutton’s asleep upstairs, and Kenna’s with her.”

  Rogan takes off.

  Kade’s mom turns to me. “How is Sutton? We came over when we heard she was hospitalized. What happened?”