The Only Things You Can Take (Wildflower Romance #2)

by Stacy Claflin

  I must’ve managed to fall asleep, because Kady wakes me up. “Mommy.”

  My body cries out for more sleep, but I force my eyes open. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

  “I’m hungry.”

  I hug her, then study her face. Her eye almost looks normal again. It’s not sticking out, and it’s not as crossed as it had been. It’s still not quite centered like it should be, but it’s better. And better is good. Perhaps by lunch it’ll be back where it should be.

  Things can go back to normal. Just like with ballet. She fell at the practice, but then got up and has done everything well since. Just like with writing her name. She had trouble that one time, but then no more since then. Her headache went away. Her eye will go back to normal.

  Maybe the mass will go away.

  Doubtful, but I have to cling to the hope. It’s all I have. I don’t want to send my baby under the knife. I just want the horrible growth to go away as fast as it came.

  Maybe it was even a mistake. Medical tests come up with false positives all the time, don’t they? Something could’ve been wrong with the equipment they used to scan her. I wasn’t even in the room.

  “Mommy? I’m hungry.”

  “Sorry.” I shake my head to try and clear it. “Let’s see if Miss Alice has something ready.”

  That’s when I realize Anchor isn’t in bed. He probably left to go to work and didn’t want to wake us.

  My heart drops. How am I going to get through the day without him?

  Then I look at Kady and know I’ll manage. It won’t be as easy without Anchor, but I’ll manage for her. Somehow.

  We climb out of bed, still in the same clothes as the day before. I was too tired to change last night, and I’m too tired now. At this point, we could wear them for a week and I really wouldn’t mind.

  Kady flattens a sticker on her shirt that is falling off. “I don’t like the hospital.”

  I kiss the top of her head. “Neither do I.”

  “I hope I never have to go again.”

  “Same here, but let’s not think about it, okay?”

  She nods, then bounces toward the door. Doesn’t stumble or misstep or anything.

  Relief floods me.

  I catch up and take her hand as we plod down the hall, the stairs, and finally the kitchen.

  To my surprise, Anchor is helping Miss Alice with something at the stove.

  “Daddy!” Kady drops my hand and runs over to him.

  He picks her up and spins her around. “How are my two favorite girls?”

  “Hungry!” She nestles her face against the base of his neck.

  “Good, because Miss Alice is teaching me how to make your favorite breakfast.”

  Kady leans back, a big smile on her face. “You mean cinnamon waffles and soufflés?”

  “And minty caramel sauce. She taught me how to make the sauce.”

  Miss Alice turns to Kady and winks. “He burned the first batch.”

  Kady giggles.

  “The second batch came out good,” Anchor says. “Look at it.” He grabs a large blue bowl from the counter and holds it up to Kady. “Wouldn’t you say?”

  She raises her eyebrows. “Looks like the yummiest!”

  “Maybe you should taste it to make sure.”

  Kady turns to me. “Can I?”

  I smile and lean against the doorframe. “Have as much as you want.”

  “As much as I want?” She reaches for the bowl.

  Anchor pulls it away. “Let’s not get carried away. It isn’t as easy to make as it looks, and besides, you want enough to drizzle on your food.”

  “True.” Kady reaches for the bowl.

  “Hold on, little miss.” Anchor sets her down, then scoops a little of the sauce into a small spoon before handing it to her.

  Kady sticks the whole thing in her mouth. Her eyes light up. “Mmm! Can I have more?”

  “How about with the food?”

  Miss Alice glances at her. “It’s almost ready. Why don’t you pick a plate?”

  “Sparkle the unicorn!”

  “I should’ve known.” Miss Alice reaches into the cupboard and hands her the colorful plastic plate. “Your daddy and I will bring in the food in just a few moments.”

  Kady clutches the plate and skips over to me. I take her hand and lead her to the table. She pulls from me and climbs into her booster seat. Then she leans over to me once I sit next to her. “Don’t tell Daddy, but Miss Alice’s sauce is a lot better.”

  I hold back a smile. “I won’t say anything, but I bet with practice, his will get to be just as good.”

  Anchor and Miss Alice bring in the breakfast. Kady again tells Anchor his sauce is the best, then she pours it all over her food. He sits across from Kady and me, then Miss Alice brings out even more food.

  We stuff ourselves and just enjoy the time together. Neither Anchor nor I bring up what’s on the forefront of our minds.

  Once we’re all stuffed, we go outside to the enormous play set. We play unicorns, then space pirates, followed by several other games before heading inside to play dress-up and then with her dollhouse.

  Both Anchor and I are playing hooky, and neither of us care. All of this is more important. School suddenly seems so unimportant. Everything does.

  We keep up with her until lunch, then we all crash on my bed again for nap time. I’m pretty sure I’m the first to fall asleep, and I don’t feel particularly rested once Kady wakes us up. “What day is it? Is it dance day?”

  I yawn and try to remember what day it is. “Yeah, you have ballet later.”

  “Yay!” She scampers off the bed and races out of the room.

  “She’s doing just fine.”

  Anchor pulls me onto his lap and kisses my temple. He doesn’t say anything.

  “You don’t think so?”

  “I do. She’s acting just like always.”

  The unspoken truth lingers between us.

  I clear my throat. “Are you coming with us to her practice?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Your dad’s okay with you missing work?”

  Anchor nods. “Even if he wasn’t, I’d still be right here.”

  I lean against him. “Thank you.”

  He rubs my back.

  Kady trounces into the room, wearing her leotard and skirt. “I’m ready!”

  “It’s a little early still.” I check the time. “Let’s have a snack first.”

  “I’ll beat you downstairs!” She spins around and races away.

  Anchor kisses my cheek. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like someone parked a truck on my chest.” I sigh. “How are you doing?”

  “About the same.” He kisses me again. “I’m going to stay by your side as long as you need me. You’re basically going to have to tell me to take a hike.”

  “What about work? School?”

  “It can all wait.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. You and Kady are more important than any of that.”

  My hands shake. I try to hold them still, but they won’t cooperate.

  He brings my palm to his face and presses his lips to it. “We’ll get through this together. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I lean against him and take a deep breath.

  After a few minutes of silence, Kady reappears in the doorway. “Miss Alice made nachos. They’re gonna get cold.”

  I sit up straight and suddenly feel gross. I haven’t showered since the previous morning. “How about Daddy eats with you while I shower? Then we can head out to your ballet class.”

  She grins. “You’re both coming?”

  “We wouldn’t miss it.” Anchor climbs off the bed, then helps me up. “Let’s eat those nachos before they get cold.” He kisses my forehead, then heads into the hall with Kady.

  The echoing silence reminds me that I’m alone. No, I’m not. They’re downstairs. Anchor is taking care of Kady, and I need a shower. It might even help me to
feel better. A little, anyway.

  I push aside every anxious thought as I get ready and focus on all the good things. I think of Kady’s birthday party. Anchor’s proposal. Kady’s contagious laughter.

  Only good things.

  When I get downstairs, I find a warm plate of nachos at my usual spot. Other than that, the room is empty. I listen for Kady and Anchor but don’t hear anything. Then I see them outside on the slide. I smile then pick at the snack before heading outside to tell them it’s time to leave.

  I hold my breath through half of her class, expecting her to fall again or for someone to cry out because her eye crosses again. But none of that happens.

  Then my phone rings.

  Anchor lifts a brow.

  I pull it out from my purse and look at the screen.

  Dr. Mikaelson. I’ve already added all of the specialty doctors to my contacts list.

  And Dr. Joseph Mikaelson is the highest recommended.

  “Answer it.” Anchor’s eyes widen.

  Anchor

  I hold my breath, trying to hear the doctor speaking to Sutton. I’m tempted to grab the phone and put it on speaker, but we’re in the waiting room at the dance studio and others would be able to hear. It’s raining outside, so putting it on speaker out there wouldn’t work. Neither of us would be able to hear him.

  I pace, trying not to be impatient. Sutton is mostly nodding, and her expression doesn’t give me any clues as to what’s going on. She says the occasional yes or no, but not much else.

  Every so often, a parent walks by and gives us a raised eyebrow. I just nod, hoping that’ll be enough for them to keep going and not stop to ask questions. It works.

  Finally, Sutton says thanks and ends the call.

  “Well?” I hold my breath, not sure I actually want the answer.

  “The doctor wants us to come in as soon as possible.”

  “Right now?”

  She shakes her head no. “Tomorrow afternoon.”

  “I’ll drive. What do we need?”

  “Nothing, really. He has the scans, but he wants to take some more of his own. Ones from a different machine.”

  “He didn’t say what he thought it could be?”

  “I didn’t actually talk to the doctor. It was the receptionist. She was really nice and thought we should come in. That we’d be a good fit for his specialty.”

  Her words nearly knock me off my feet. Kady is a good fit for the top doctor in the field? There’s no way this is good. Not even a slight, off-the-wall chance.

  We’re not going to get good news.

  I take a deep breath and put on a brave face so Sutton doesn’t know what I’m actually thinking. One of us needs to think positive, and it sure isn’t going to be me at this point. But she doesn’t need to know that. “What time is the appointment?”

  “Four, in Seattle.”

  “We’d better plan on leaving early and eating in the city, because traffic is going to be a nightmare that time of day.”

  She nods. “It’s bad any time of day.”

  I take Sutton’s hand. “She has an appointment. That’s good news. Let’s get back in there and watch her dance.”

  “Okay.” The frown on her face tells me she’s thinking the same things I am, but neither of us want to voice it to the other.

  Kady is on the dance floor and does a better job than all the other girls, despite her being younger than them.

  How can something be wrong with her? She’s so talented. Not to mention sweet, sassy, and really smart. It doesn’t even seem possible that there can be a mass on her brain. It isn’t fair. Especially not when you consider we’ve already lost her dad. She never even got to meet him.

  This is like a slap to all of us. Especially an innocent child.

  Once the teacher announces class is over, Kady skips over to us. “I’m so glad you came, Daddy!”

  “Anything for you.” I hug her tightly. Guilt stings. I’ve been to her recitals, but hardly any of the practices, thinking I was doing the right thing by working and saving for the future.

  What if there is no future? I bury my face against her hair and do my level best to keep my composure. I manage, barely.

  I have to stay strong for everyone. They need me.

  “Do you want to get some ice cream on the way home?” Sutton asks.

  Kady practically leaps out of my arms. “Before dinner?”

  “Today? Sure.”

  Kady jumps up and down and claps. “Yay!”

  “Let’s get going, so we’re not late.”

  Kady stops jumping. Her eye is crossed again. Not sticking out, but it couldn’t be mistaken for normal like it had been all day. It was really obvious.

  I shove the thought from my mind. “Do you want to go to the place that mixes candy into the ice cream?”

  Her eyes widen, seemingly oblivious to her eye turning toward her nose. “Can I?”

  “You can have whatever you want.” I scoop her up and carry her out to the parking lot before anyone else notices and says anything. Today, everything is going to be normal for Kady. Well, as normal as candy-filled ice cream before dinner can be.

  On the way to the ice cream shop, we talk about ballet and candy. I keep waiting for her to say something about her eye—either it feeling weird again, or her vision being off. Kady doesn’t seem to notice any of that.

  Hopefully that’s good news. I cling to that thought, wanting to believe it. Wishing I could be more positive.

  By the time we reach the ice cream place, her eye is even worse. Neither Sutton nor I will look at each other. I’m sure that if I see worry in her, I’ll fall apart. I need to stay strong for them. This is going to push me to my limits.

  We bring her inside and I hope against hope that nobody says anything about her crossed eye. The shop is busy—not surprising, given it’s summer—but everyone is focused on the delicious treats.

  Kady eyes the rows of candy. “Can I get gummy bears in mine?”

  “Whatever you want.” Sutton’s voice cracks.

  I’m not going to be able to hold myself together. “I’ll be right back.” I rush to the bathroom before they can reply. Instead of relieving myself, I lean against the wall and take deep breaths. Seeing Sutton in pain is too much. I can’t do anything to make it better. And the thought of tomorrow’s appointment is too much for me. It all is.

  As soon as I’m feeling a little better, I head back over to them. I force a smile and rub Kady’s hair. “Have you picked what you want?”

  “Mommy said I can have gummy bears and marshmallows. Maybe even sprinkles and chocolate chips.”

  “Wow. That sounds like something Sparkles the unicorn would like.”

  “Yeah, if I get the rainbow sprinkles!”

  I turn to Sutton. “What are you going to get?”

  “Nothing.”

  “That’s no fun. We all need to get something.”

  She throws me an exasperated look.

  I glance over at the selection. “I think I’ll have some black licorice and candy corn.”

  “Really?” Sutton grimaces.

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Candy corn?”

  “It’s great any time of the year. Not just for Halloween.”

  “It isn’t even good then,” she mumbles.

  I give her an exaggerated gasp. “Blasphemy!”

  The corners of her mouth twitch and a warmth runs through me for having made her smile.

  “Have you never had my candy corn on the cob?”

  Her eyes widen. “Candy corn on the cob? That sounds awful.”

  “How have I never given you any?”

  She makes a face. “Because you love me?”

  “You don’t know what you’re missing. I roll up melted chocolate and then stick in the candy corn. I’ve really never made it for you?”

  She shakes her head.

  Kady smiles. “It’s super yummy!”

  “I’ll have to take your word fo
r that.” Sutton looks at the choices again.

  “What are you going to have?” I ask.

  “Maybe peanut butter and chocolate chunks.”

  “That does sound pretty good, but it doesn’t hold a candle to candy corn.”

  It’s finally our turn to order our ice creams. “Next!” The teenage girl’s bright green eyes widen when she sees Kady.

  My stomach twists, ready for a verbal takedown if she says something.

  The girl’s expression softens and she grins at Kady. “Hi, beautiful! What would you like?”

  Relief washes through me.

  Kady presses her face against the glass. “Gummy bears, sprinkles, marshmallows, and some chocolate chips in bubble gum ice cream.”

  The teenager gives a thumbs-up. “Coming right up. Would you believe that’s my favorite?”

  Kady looks at her. “It is?”

  She nods as she scoops out the ice cream. “Ask Justin.” She nods to the guy mixing ice cream and gumdrops next to her.

  He nods and adds chocolate sauce to the ice cream. “Samantha’s crazy for Sparkles the unicorn and calls it the unicorn ice cream.”

  Kady’s mouth drops open. “I love Sparkles too!”

  Samantha mixes gummy bears into the ice cream. “Then you’ll love this! I have an idea. Since you picked my favorite ice cream combo and you’re fan of Sparkles, I’m going to make this a jumbo.”

  “Really?” Kady squeals.

  “Of course.” Samantha glances at me. “I’ll only charge for the small size.”

  Kady jumps up and down. “Yay!”

  By the time we all have our ice creams, Samantha is Kady’s new best friend. Sutton, Kady, and I sit by a window and watch as the rain lets up. A few of the clouds part, revealing a bright rainbow against the dark sky.

  “Look, Kady.”

  She glances up, colorful ice cream all around her face. “A rainbow! Just like my ice cream.”

  Sutton and I exchange a hopeful expression. When we finish our ice creams, Kady still has half of hers left. I doubt she’s ever had so much at one time before.

  We bring the plastic bowl over to Samantha and ask for a to-go box.

  “Of course. Oh, and I have something else for you. Hold on.” She takes the bowl and disappears into the back room.

  Kady twirls in a circle, patting her skirt as it floats out.