“You did?” Sutton nearly crushes my hand.
Dr. Mikaelson nods. “It isn’t the first time I’ve sent business their way. I take it you’re interested?”
I nod. “We are. Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure. I know when families come to see me, it’s always at a low point. I’m glad to help in any way I can. Now before I let you go, let me tell you a little about the scan.” He calls Kady over and explains that the machines look big and scary, but they’re actually helping machines, and he knows she’ll be brave and will do great. Then he gives us some more information, including papers with the information he discussed earlier, and everything we need for tomorrow’s scans and the hotel information.
It’s enough to make me feel dizzy. Somehow we make it down to the parking garage and into my car.
“I’m starving,” Kady announces from the backseat.
I have no appetite, and judging from Sutton’s harried expression, she doesn’t either. “What are you hungry for?”
“Burgers! Can we go to Dick’s?”
I glance at Sutton, having a hard time believing she’d say yes to the popular greasy drive-in. I can count on one hand how many times Kady’s eaten fast food. “What do you think?”
Sutton shrugs, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of us. “If that’s what she wants.”
“We can eat there?” Kady squeals. “Can I get a milkshake?”
“Sure.” Sutton keeps staring in front of us.
“Are you okay?” I ask slowly.
She nods. “Let’s get out of here. I feel like the building’s going to crumble on top of us.”
“If you change your mind, let me know.” I pull out of the spot and follow the dark, narrow path until we pull into the sunlight after I’ve spent more on parking than I will on food for all three of us at the fast food joint.
Everything goes by in a blur, and Kady is oblivious to our damped moods. She happily scarfs down the greasy food that I usually love but tonight can’t taste. Then she falls asleep before we reach the hotel.
Sutton sighs. “At least we won’t need to swim with suits we don’t have.”
“It really isn’t a problem.”
She stays in the car with Kady while I get us checked in, then I carry the sleeping girl up to the room and tuck her into the middle of the large bed. Her crossed eye seems to be bulging more, noticeable even as she sleeps.
I hope Dr. Mikaelson is able to remove the tumor and Kady’s eye will go back to normal so she won’t have to deal with that for the rest of her life. I hate to think of how hard it will be for her if she has to go through life that way. Kids can be so cruel.
A few minutes later, Sutton comes out of the bathroom wearing a fluffy blue hotel robe and a towel on her head.
“Do you want me to see if housekeeping will wash your clothes?”
She shakes her head then pulls off the towel and rakes her fingers through her damp curls. “They’re fine. Nothing’s dirty.”
“I don’t mind calling.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She sighs and stares into the mirror. Without her makeup, she looks even more exhausted.
I climb off the bed and wrap my arms around her, kissing her cheek then her scars. “You’re so beautiful.”
She frowns. “I’ve never looked worse.”
“You’ll never be anything other than perfect to me.” I thread my fingers through hers.
Sutton meets my gaze through the mirror. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.”
I lean my head against hers. “We’ll get through this together. I’m not going anywhere. You couldn’t get rid of me if you wanted.”
“I don’t want to.” She closes her eyes and tears trail down her face.
My heart shatters, but I keep my composure and twirl her around. Then I trail kisses over her cheeks to wipe the tears away.
She opens her eyes. “What if—?”
I press my finger against her full lips. “Don’t say it. We’re not going to assume anything—no, we’re not going to think anything—until we know for sure what’s wrong. For now, it’s something that’ll be fixed with a simple operation.”
“Simple? On her brain?”
“It can happen. Think about Ruby from the neighborhood. Remember when she had surgery on her brain? She went on to lead a normal life. No reason that can’t be the case for Kady.”
She glances over at the bed. “She looks so peaceful, like an angel.”
I pull some hair from Sutton’s face and kiss her cheek. “You look like an angel when you sleep too. Speaking of which, why don’t we lie down? It’s going to be a busy morning.”
Her lips waver. “I don’t know if I can sleep.”
I run my fingertips down her arms and grasp her hands. “I’ll hold you and stay awake until you fall asleep.”
She frowns. “It could be all night.”
“Then so be it.” I lead her to the bed, where she wraps herself around Kady. Then I snuggle against her and ignore my phone buzzing in my pocket. Probably my parents wanting an update.
I wait a full hour until Sutton’s rhythmic breathing assures me that she’s in dreamland, then I go into the bathroom and tell my mom as much as I can about the appointment. I end up taking pictures of the paperwork and texting those to her.
My chest tightens as I wonder what kind of news we’ll have to share tomorrow night. What will the scans reveal?
Anchor
Kady’s nails dig into my thighs through my jeans as she clings to me. “I don’t wanna go in there!”
I try to simultaneously pull her hands away and hug her. She accepts neither. I glance at Sutton for help, but she’s staring at the enormous oval machine that Kady is supposed to go into.
Good luck with that.
I lean over as far as I can to get as close to her ear. “Mommy and I are going to be right here the whole time.”
“I don’t wanna go in there!” She digs her nails deeper. “It’s scary!”
“Lots of people go in every day.”
Kady shakes her head.
Someone puts a hand on my shoulder. I turn, hoping it’s Sutton.
It’s a nurse. Her name tag reads Carol. She’s young and gives me a reassuring smile. “Can I try talking to her?”
“You can try.”
Carol lowers herself to Kady’s level. “Hi, sweetie. Remember I told you that you can pick the music you listen to? It can be anything. It’s like being in a bright tunnel. You just have to be able to hold still. It’s kind of like that game where you see who can go the longest without moving. That big machine is like a camera to help us look inside your head. Isn’t that cool?”
Kady shakes her head. “I’d rather be back at school.”
That’s what we’d all like—for today to be just another day and for her to be healthy again.
Carol holds her hand toward Kady. “Can I show you the inside? You’ll see it’s not scary at all. It’s bright in there, and you’ll be able to hear your favorite music. What is your favorite?”
Kady shrugs.
“Maybe your dad knows?”
She doesn’t respond, so Carol glances up at me.
“Kady loves Captain Silly and His Band of Pirates and also Sparkles the Unicorn.”
“You love Sparkles too?” the nurse exclaims.
Kady turns to her. “You like Sparkles?”
“My niece does. She’s about your age, and she always talks about the unicorn. You should see her room. It’s full of rainbows and unicorns.”
Kady’s eyes widen. “Really?”
The nurse nods. “It feels like a whole different world when you walk in there. I’ll bet your room is similar, isn’t it?”
“I have Sparkles posters and blankets.” Kady releases her hold on my thighs.
“Don’t forget your pillow, sheets, pajamas, and towel set.”
“You have all of that?” The nurse’s mouth falls open with dramatic flair. “My niece
would be so jealous!”
Kady smiles. “She could come over.”
“Oh, I know she’d love that. Hey, do you want to come over here with me?”
“Okay.” Kady reaches for my hand, and we all walk over to the machine. I lift her up so she can see inside. It’s bright in there, but it looks cramped. I wouldn’t want to have to lie there perfectly still for any length of time, and I have a hard time imagining any kid being able to.
Sutton comes over, and Kady reaches for her.
I hand her off and turn to a different nurse. “Do kids really sit still for that?”
She nods. “Many do, but others don’t.”
“What happens when they don’t?” I glance over at Kady, who is squirming in Sutton’s arms. “Is there another test they do?”
“There are other ones, but this is one of the best.”
“So, they use the other ones?”
She frowns. “Well, if the kids won’t lie still in this one, they aren’t likely to in another machine.”
I feel like we’re dancing in circles. “What’s going to happen if she won’t hold still for the scan?”
“We’ll have to sedate her.”
Her words nearly knock me over. I just stare at her. “That’s really what you do?”
“When it’s necessary, yes.”
I glance over at Kady, now squirming harder against Sutton. The fear in her eyes is undeniable. “Are you going to have to sedate her?”
“Not me personally. I don’t do that, but it’s possible someone may have to.”
I hate this so much. If I could do anything to change this whole situation, I would. I’d change places with her in a heartbeat. I’d take the mass and the scans and everything else so she wouldn’t have to deal with any of it.
Instead, I do the only thing I actually can do. I take a deep breath and go back over to Kady. “Can we make this a game?”
She shakes her head. “I wanna go home.”
Sutton stares at me, her eyes empty. Lost.
I pull Kady into my arms. “This is the game. While you’re in there, I’m going to lie on the floor and I’m not going to move a muscle.”
“On the floor?”
I nod. “People might have to step on me, but I won’t budge. As long as you’re still, I’m going to be still.”
Her brows come together like she’s trying to figure out if I’m serious.
I point to a spot near a few chairs. “I’m going to be right there, and like I said, I’m not going to even twitch.”
Kady turns to Sutton, arching an eyebrow.
Sutton swallows. “He sounds serious to me.”
“Will they let you?”
I hold my head high. “Doesn’t matter if they do. I’m going to sprawl out in front of those chairs, and I’m not getting up until your scan is over. I’ll even sing along with Sparkles if you want me to.”
She giggles. “But wouldn’t you have to move?”
“I can sing and hold still. What do you say?”
Kady looks over at the machine, then back at me. “You’ll really do that?”
“Of course.”
“What if a bug crawls on you?”
“I’ll let it.”
Her eyes widen.
Sutton gives me a grateful glance.
Carol comes over and smiles at Kady. “Are we ready?”
Kady bites her lip and leans against me.
“Remember what we talked about?”
“What did you talk about?” Carol leans forward. “Sparkles? I found fifty of her songs. Which one do you want me to play first?”
Kady shrugs. “The theme song?”
“That’s my favorite one!” The nurse gives her a thumbs-up. “Are you ready to try the machine?”
“Daddy says he’s gonna lay on the floor. Is that okay?”
“While you’re in there?” Carol nods toward the machine.
Kady nods.
“I think that’s a fantastic idea. Maybe I can find something to scan him.”
Sutton steps closer. “Or maybe I can tickle him. Do you think I should?”
Kady giggles. “He won’t be able to hold still.”
“That’s true. But it’d still be fun, don’t you think?”
“Yeah.”
Another nurse brings over a gown for Kady to change into. Sutton takes her into a bathroom, then I sit. Exhaustion squeezes me.
Carol comes over. “That was really sweet of you to tell her you’d lie on the floor for her.”
“Anything to help make it better for her. I don’t want to see her sedated.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile. “We’ll do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t come down to it. But if it does, the anesthesiologist is wonderful with kids.”
“Like you said, hopefully it doesn’t come down to that.”
I squeeze the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath through my mouth. I’ll be so glad once we’re done with this and can finally go home. If I’d had thought we’d end up spending the night in town, I’d have at least packed a change of clothes.
A few minutes later, Sutton returns with Kady. She’s squirming again and pulling at the gown. “I don’t like this. It’s scratchy!”
My heart aches. Her complaints aren’t really about the machine or the gown. It’s because she has to be here in this big scary place, doing things no kid should ever have to experience. She really should be back at preschool, her only concern being learning her basics and getting the boys to stop pulling on her dark wavy ponytail—or unicorn tail, as she likes to call it.
I rise. “Do you want me to put on a gown too?”
Kady stops squirming and stares at me. “But it’s yucky.”
“Probably no worse than getting a glob of mud in my eyes, like I did the other day at work.”
“You got mud in your eyes?”
I rub my eye, just thinking about it. “It was awful.”
She squirms a little, looking deep in thought. “You don’t have to wear one. I’ll be a big girl.”
“I don’t mind, really.”
Kady shakes her head. “Promise you’ll hold still, like me?”
“I’ll hold stiller.”
“Is that a word?”
“If not, I just made it one.” I try to grin.
Carol and Sutton help Kady onto the long table that will slide her into the machine. I lie in front of the chairs so she’ll see me before she goes in for her scan.
Once settled, she turns my way. “You’re really doing it.”
“Just like I said. Think I can hold stiller?”
“No, I will!”
“We’ll see.”
She smiles and turns to face the ceiling. I also look up. The floor digs into my shoulder blades and the back of my head.
Sutton and the nurses talk to her until the table creaks as it moves. I strain to watch without turning my head.
Kady grabs Sutton’s arm. “I don’t like this!”
“Think of it like a ride at the fair.”
“It’s not a ride.”
Can’t argue with that logic.
The theme song for Sparkles the Unicorn starts playing.
“Focus on the music, then,” Sutton says. “Just don’t dance.”
“You have to try and hold stiller than me,” I call, not moving.
“I’ll win!”
“Go ahead and try!” I hold back a smile.
The music is the only sound in the room other than the creaking of the table, until it stops. I hold my breath, not sure how Kady is going to respond to being inside the scanner. Everything is silent as the music stops. It seems to take forever until the next song begins.
Two more songs play, then Sutton comes over. “You can get up. She can’t see outside of that thing.”
“I know, but I promised her I’d stay like this.”
“You really are?”
“That’s what I told her.”
She sits next to me and puts her hand on
mine. I don’t move, as promised. Sutton sighs. “I hope she stays still. It’s like five hours for her.”
“If anyone can do it, she can.”
“I hope you’re right.”
We sit quietly as the overly-cheerful songs play. Every once in a while the machine makes soft noises. One of the nurses tells Kady she’s doing fabulous.
Time drags on. It must feel twice as long for Kady.
“Hold still, honey,” Carol says. “Just a little longer. You’re almost there.”
Sutton jumps up and leaps toward the scanner. “You’re doing great! I think you’re stiller than Daddy.”
“My legs wanna move!”
“So do mine!” I call. “See if you can do better than me!”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Yes, you can. I believe in you.”
Silence rests in the room as the current song ends. I hope that means she’s staying still.
Thump!
“I can’t do this!”
“Kady!” Sutton cries. “Hold still!”
“No! I can’t!”
Thump!
Disappointment washes over me. Is there any chance she held still long enough? I hold my breath as the creaking of the table starts. As soon as I see Kady’s head, I jump up. “Was she in there long enough?”
Carol won’t even look at me. She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. We needed another five minutes.”
“Five minutes? That means it got twenty-five minutes of scanning. That has to be close enough!”
“I’m sorry. That’s not the way it works.”
Kady scrambles into Sutton’s arms before the table stops moving. “I tried! I really tried.”
“What now?”
Carol finally turns to me. “I have to call the anesthesiologist.”
My heart sinks. Everything Kady just went through was for nothing.
Sutton
Anchor’s arms wrap around me, pulling me close. Pressing me against him. His hold, his warmth, the sound of his heartbeat against my ear bring a little comfort. But nothing can erase the image of Kady fighting against the mask that made her fall asleep.
Now she’s limp on the table. The unicorn music still plays, for all the good that does. She’ll probably hate Sparkles after this. Now she’ll associate the music with this day. Her favorite cartoon character is now tainted.
The Only Things You Can Take (Wildflower Romance #2) Page 18
