Stuck in Canny Valley

by Alden Odessa

  I don’t know what kind of technology this is, but it’s pretty genius.

  I looked at the screen; she was looking back at me. “How do they feel?” she asked.

  “Ok—,” I began and then caught myself.

  “Good. Now, this next part you don’t have to do just like me but you can if you want to.” She reached behind her and unhitched her corset, pulling it off. These were the best digital breasts I had ever seen in my life. The nice thing about digital renderings is that they can be whatever you want them to be. You can make a woman however you like, with whatever features you like. Whoever designed this woman was my kind of man. She had huge boobs that bobbed up and down as the corset came off. She had perfectly round pink nipples that were both ideally placed and precisely sized. The nipples looked perfect on her firm, round breasts. I hope that I see this girl again in the game, I would love to get the chance to grab these fun bags!

  “You like?” she said, putting her arms behind her back and shaking her massive boobs. I felt my still hard dick in the pants throb. I shook my head yes, still having a hard time not responding to someone who felt so real even though I knew she was just a bunch of ones and zeroes.

  I wiped my brow. Was that sweat? Was I actually sweating? Easily the best money I had ever spent so far! Let’s get into this game and get to the sex!

  Almost as if she could hear my thoughts she said: “Are you ready to enter the game?”

  I shook my head. Again.

  “Take your goggles and put them on now, but wait—” she paused, I hadn’t even grabbed the goggles yet as I was still looking at her tits. “Before you enter the game, know that the first thing you will do is pick a character, this is very important as it will change your gameplay.” She said, and then picked up her own goggles. “And good luck building your harem and conquering the city.”

  Jokes on her. I had no interest in conquering the city; I was here just for the sex!

  I put the goggles on at the same time as she did. It was black at first and then a brief screen of digitized static and the game booted up in the goggles.

  3

  Character Building

  I was instantly upset that I didn’t take the time to read the instruction manual. There was no help screen at this stage of the game (I hope there is one in the game itself), so I had no idea what some of this meant at first.

  This wasn’t entirely uncharted territory for me; I had seen plenty of character selection screens in my life. It was a carousel of characters; it looked like there were a dozen or so options. I didn’t even know how to scroll through.

  I checked the goggles; there were no buttons on it, so that was no help. I felt my pants; the only buttons were the ones used to inflate and deflate (if that’s what you called it) the pants. So that was no help. Every time I moved my hands to check the goggles or the pants, however, the carousel would wobble slightly.

  Is this possible? I raised my hand and swiped left, and the carousel moved one space over to the next character.

  How was this happening?

  There had been nothing that I installed that had any form of a motion sensor, so this didn’t make any sense. I swiped again, and it spun once more to the next character. Seriously, how was this possible?

  My desire for satisfaction, in this case, outweighed my curiosity. The longer I sat and thought about it the longer it would be before I got inside the game and to a house of ill-repute! So, I gave up on the development and just assumed it was a feature that the game designers had woven into the abilities of the hardware that came with it. That made the most sense. It could be what the Wi-Fi in the pants was used for, who knew? I really didn’t care, I could find all of this out later after I had done what I came here to do, I was already annoyed enough at the fact that I had to go through all of the characters and set up before I could get in there and do some damage with some digital prostitutes.

  I quickly swiped through the dozen characters that I had to choose from, finding one that looked at least somewhat like me, or rather, how I would like to look. Beside each of them were some stats. Once again, I was wishing that I had read the instruction manual that came with this before jumping in. But truth be told, I don’t think it really mattered, I would have enough money in the game to buy a hooker or two, and if for some reason I didn’t then I would just buy more credits. I’m sure that at least that much would be feasible. If not, it was a terrible business model.

  I scrolled through a muscle-bound jock type. A heavy-set type, a Don Draper type and so on and so on. I kept scrolling back to the suave Don Draper type. The more I looked at him the more I thought he was a little less Mad Men and a little more James Bond. I liked that, a little bit of a smooth operator. I looked at his stats:

  BR: 44 T: 32 DOM: 51 PROW: 65 STR: 12

  There was only one stat here that made any sense to me, and that was 'STR,’ I assumed that meant strength. He was pretty light in this category, but I really don’t think I would need it, since this wasn’t a fighting game, strictly a sex game. There was probably fighting in it, but for my purposes, the lowered strength wasn’t really a concern.

  Fuck it, I just want to get into the game, so I chose him and moved on. After making the selection, I was taken to a screen to customize the character. This was cool, and it looked like a really fun part of the game, but to tell the truth, I was getting a little frustrated and a slight case of blue balls. I didn’t even look at my options; I just clicked okay with the stock version.

  I was tall, black hair, green eyes; I was wearing a suit without the tie, the shirt unbuttoned two from the top. I carried a five o’clock shadow on my chin. I was a suave looking man; I have no idea what my other options even were.

  Once I finished with my selection and pressed okay, a new screen came up, reading: NAME and then held a space with a blinking cursor. How the hell was I supposed to type?

  I guess I could just type on my physical keyboard, but then I would have to take off the goggles as, honestly, I had never learned how to type. Although I couldn’t type the proper way, I was the fastest hunter and seeker you ever met, but without my eyes, I was worthless, but I figured I would give it a shot.

  I raised my hand to try to find my keyboard, and I noticed something. Something flickered on the bottom of the screen. I lifted my hand upwards and from the base of the screen a keyboard appeared. So far everything in this game was motion activated. Which is really weird, since my laptop didn’t have any motion sensing abilities, I assumed that the sticky note was still covering the camera, so it wasn’t using that.

  Again, I just chalked this up to whatever proprietary software and hardware this game was using. No reason that this should keep me from the game.

  A man has a pretty difficult time thinking of anything else, once sex is on the brain.

  I typed in my name; I just used my alias that I had used to purchase the game in the first place. Buster Rockknocker. With my hand in the air, I typed on the virtual keyboard. I fat fingered a few letters so it took me longer than it should have. I pressed: Save.

  A new screen popped up, the one I had been waiting for: SPAWN CHARACTER. It appeared that all I had to do was press this virtual button and I would be in the game.

  So, I pressed it.

  4

  Caught with your Dick Out

  Next thing I knew I was in an alleyway.

  It was similar to something you might see in the city, but not really, It seemed like an alleyway you would see in a city—in a movie. It was dark, but not real life dark; it was bluer than it would have been in real life. The ground was wet, and the gutters on the building dripped water. It was not raining but gave off the impression that it had just finished. I had to give credit to the art department; it really did feel like I was in a movie.

  Speaking of feeling. I couldn’t feel my body. I mean my real body, my body outside of the game, I couldn’t feel it. I moved my hands around, I could feel them moving, but the movement I felt was inside the game. I k
now I was in the game mentally, but I also felt like I was in the game physically as well. This was amazing, and one of the reasons it was so amazing is that I felt my game body, not my real-life body. In real life, I was—not fat—but not thin. This body was svelte, to say the least. I felt my gut with my hands, and it just wasn’t there. It was replaced by tight skin over a hard stomach. Holy shit, I had washboard abs!

  I couldn’t see myself, so I felt around. My whole body was like this; everything was tight where it was supposed to be tight and firm where it was supposed to be firm. I took a few steps forward; I had to stop after a few steps just because I couldn’t believe this. When I walked, it was like I was really walking, walking a real-life environment and not a game. This was seriously the coolest thing that I had ever experienced. I couldn’t wait to see what was in store for me next.

  Most importantly, if it felt this good to walk in this body, what was the other stuff going to be like. You know, the sex. Speaking of which…

  I was afraid of this part for some reason. I looked down, at my waist. I was wearing a belt and slacks. I looked around the alley to make sure that I was alone. I undid the belt and then pulled down the zipper. Still, kind of nervous I looked around again; still alone. I reached in the zipper area of my pants, pulled down my underwear and pulled out my dick.

  It was not my dick.

  It was so much better than my dick.

  I’m not going to lie; I’ve seen a lot of dicks because I watch a lot of porn. This was one of the best dicks I had seen and the craziest part: It looked real! It didn’t look like a digital dick, it looked real, like real flesh and blood. When I held it, I could feel my holding it. My hand could feel my dick, and my dick could feel my hand.

  I suspected that in real life, sitting at my desk, I was also really holding my dick, but I don’t know, since I plain and simple, could not feel my real-life body, only this one.

  I could hear the sounds of the city just outside of the alleyway; it sounded busy. As much as I kind of wanted to see how big this dick got, I thought better of it. I didn’t want that to be the first thing that happened to me in the game, someone seeing me staring at my dick in my hand. I got the hunch that it was gonna be a good hard-on simply because, even limp, it was much bigger than my own.

  No sooner than I was thinking about putting it away, I heard a scream. I looked up, and sure enough, it was a little old lady that was walking by the alleyway. Why she looked down the alley, I have no idea.

  “Pervert!” she screamed.

  I covered myself, embarrassed and gushed an apology. She made a humph sound and then walked away. Instantly I heard a noise, but it wasn’t a sound of the city, it sounded like the sound was coming from inside my head. It sounded like a brief drone, and in front of my eyes, I saw a -1. And then another flashed in front of me, another -1.

  Huh?

  I put my dick back into my pants and gathered myself. This was a game, and I just took damage? I looked around with my head; there had to be a screen or something, there had to be a way to pull up my HUD and see my stats. I was assuming that this game operated with some sort of statistics meter, like the one that I saw when I selected my character. Looking around, I didn’t see a way to pull up my HUD. I looked at my body, and then I saw something that hadn’t been there when I selected my character, or at least, not that I remember.

  It was a watch.

  It looked like a flat, smooth, smartwatch. It didn’t have any buttons, and it was flashing a red color. So, I reached with my right hand over to my left wrist and pressed it. Instantly a screen appeared in front of me in the alley. It had a picture of me, just like I selected. Beside me were some stats, same as before, except there were some new ones.

  H: 100 $: 5000 BR: 43 T: 31 DOM: 51 PRW: 65 STR: 12

  If I remembered correctly, I had lost a point on the BR and the T, and I still didn’t have any idea what that meant! There had to be a help screen. I looked at the Heads-Up Display and saw a few tabs. The first, the one I was on, read Info, there was another that said Objectives and then a third that said Help and then a final tab that read Menu. Okay, this was starting to make a little more sense. The game was finally starting to become manageable. What in the hell had I been thinking, not reading the instructions? I wasn’t thinking, that was the answer. Or rather I was thinking with my hard-on, not with my brain.

  With my hand, I reached up to see if I could touch the screen in front of me. To my surprise, I could. I couldn’t touch it in a tactile sense, but the game registered what I was trying to do, so when I put my finger to the Objectives tab, that screen opened up.

  Under the objectives tab, there was only one sentence. Two words. It read: Save Betty.

  What?

  I wasn’t concerned about that. I didn’t know who Betty was and I had a feeling it had something to do with the storyline mode which I was not interested in. I wanted to find a woman to score with, and that was it. So, I reached up and clicked on the help tab, and a new screen was there. It had two buttons. STATS and ASSISTANT. I clicked/pressed on stats, and it gave me the information I was looking for.

  HEALTH: The amount of health you currently have. You will need to eat and rest to increase this. Fights and tiring activities will decrease this category.

  MONEY: How much in-game money you have. You may finish objectives or complete missions to increase this number. You may also buy more credits in the game store.

  BRAINS: How smart you are. This will fluctuate depending on your in-game decisions.

  TRUST: How much characters in the game trust you. This will fluctuate depending on your in-game decisions.

  DOMINANCE: Your power over other in-game characters and the ability you have to control your harem. This will fluctuate depending on your in-game decisions.

  PROWESS: Your sexual ability to control other characters. This will fluctuate depending on your in-game decisions.

  STRENGTH: How strong you are.

  This. Game. Was. Awesome.

  Granted I was really only here to do one thing, but given the opportunity, the storyline mode might be really fun. I just don’t know how much time I would be able to dedicate to it. If I were a single man, I could see myself really getting lost in this world. Depending, of course, on how the sex was. If my wife ever came home and saw me plugged into this game, I might very well be single! I didn’t want this to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  Now that I knew what the stats meant I could piece together a few things: It looked like I lost a point for BRAINS because I did something stupid. Letting myself get caught with my dick in my hands. Then I lost another point in TRUST for the same reason. This game was really complex, and it did seem like all of my choices really did matter. Which was cool, and something that made me want to explore the game some more, but at the end of the day, let’s get my one goal complete, I can go offline and learn more about the game. Maybe even read the instruction manual.

  I reached up and tapped the ASSISTANT icon, and warning sign came up that read: “NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME.” Whatever, really, I just wanted to get on with it. I didn’t bother to check the menu screen as my loins were starting to take over my mentality. Time was also an issue. I couldn’t even feel my outside body, so I doubt I would be able to hear it if my wife came home early.

  It would seriously be a buzzkill if she caught me.

  I pressed my watch again, and the screen went away. I walked to the opening of the alley and decided to go on about my quest to find a hooker to bang!

  5

  Experimenting

  This city was amazing.

  It looked like a city from some sort of science fiction movie. It had tall buildings, and the ground was wet with the puddles reflecting the bright blue and pink neon signs that adorned all the shops. It looked rundown, but at the same time very slick. The people looked like normal people, flesh and blood, no inkling of digitalness to them. They were dressed in all kinds of ways, but for the most part normal. The city looked futu
ristic, but the people didn’t. I don’t know what I was expecting. One thing is for sure, and that is that I was not expecting the game to be this populated with non-playable characters if that’s even what they were. I didn’t even know if I could interact with them.

  There was a man, standing in a raincoat on the sidewalk, it looked like he was waiting to cross the street. The street was not too busy, but enough to have to wait for an opportunity to pass.

  It was night, and since it was daytime in my world, I wondered if it was perpetual night in this one. Made sense and added to the ambiance of the game.

  I walked up to the man to see if I could interact with him. He was a short man, about a head shorter than I was. He wasn’t paying me any attention until I got right beside him.

  “Excuse me, sir. Do you know what time it is?” I asked.

  He looked at me and got a grimace on his face. “Get a watch, pal!” he said and then walked across the street away from me.

  He had been very rude. Felt like home!

  I looked at the building up and down the street. The building looked like large office buildings, but yet the bottom of the building looked like they all had some form of a shop in them. For instance, I was standing right in front of a market selling fresh fruit, meat on ice and other food you would find at an outdoor market. In addition to this, it sold other items you might find there like magazines (seriously, the game had magazines in it) as well as candy, soda pop and—cigarettes?

  I quit smoking ten years ago, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t think about it all the time. I walked up to the man behind the small wooden counter and said hello. He greeted me back kindly.

  “Hello, kind sir. What can I get for you?”