Highland Brawn (The Band of Cousins Book 8)

by Keira Montclair

  She slapped and hit and slapped and hit until he could stand no more. He wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her away from the edge. “Why don’t you let me kill them for you? Do you not recall that I said I would protect you forever?”

  “Will you? Can you? There’s so many that we will both need to kill them. I cannot allow them to get to Claray. Please help me.” She pushed away from him and placed her hand on his chest.

  The fear in her gaze was more than he could handle. How was he to help her? “Why don’t I take you to Aunt Jennie’s and I’ll come back and burn them out of the chamber.”

  “You will? For me? ’Tis a wonderful idea. They’ll surely all be dead then.”

  The haunted look in her gaze was too much for him. He had to calm her, convince her that there were no spiders there.

  “I promise. As soon as we get there, I’ll turn around and come right back.”

  “My thanks, Connor. Make sure you check afterward to be sure they’re gone. Under my bed, behind the chairs, in the corners, even the ceiling. They can hide anywhere.”

  Her body wrenched with sobs and he picked her up in her arms. “I’ll take care of you. I love you, remember?” He kissed her forehead.

  “Aye, I love you, too. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “I understand. I will wait for you.”

  “But Hord. You must find him.” She rested her head on his shoulder and continued to sob.

  “He’ll not touch you. Do you trust me?” He kissed her again, hoping to distract her from the chaos in her mind. He’d do anything to help.

  “Aye, I trust you. You’ll protect me.” Her hands gripped his arms so tightly that he wondered if she’d ever let go.

  “I will.” He carried her down the stairs and through the passageway. Mother Matilda nodded to him as he carried her outside. By the time they reached his horse, she’d fallen sound asleep. The stablemaster stepped forward to gather her into his arms so Connor could mount and then handed her up to him.

  Cradling Sela on his lap, Connor spoke to the two Grant guards who’d traveled with him. “I want you checking the perimeter for strangers. I’ll send some Cameron guards to assist you.”

  He doubted they’d find anything. She’d imagined all the spiders. He hadn’t seen any in the entire abbey, and he’d looked on his way down the passageway. The bastard frightened her so that he continued to torture her from afar.

  Even so, he knew better than to ignore a woman’s intuition. Gavin had told him how Merewen could feel Linet’s presence. Could this be similar?

  When he arrived on Cameron land, he carried Sela inside. Aunt Jennie had been informed of his arrival and rushed out to meet him. “Is she hale? Did she hurt herself? Does she have a fever?”

  He glanced down at Sela to ensure she was still asleep, then said, “She thinks the man who tortured her, the one who loves spiders, is back. I suspect ’tis all in her mind, but to be safe, I sent the two guards who accompanied me out to search the perimeter of your land. Would you be able to have Uncle Aedan send a few of his guards out, too?”

  “Of course. I’ll speak with him. Claray is staying with us and she’s doing verra well. Why don’t you take Sela to our hideaway? That way Claray will never see her in this condition. I can send food and ale out for you.”

  “My thanks, Aunt Jennie. She fell asleep as soon as I picked her up.”

  Jennie led him out of the back of the keep, and he followed her down a path until they reached a cottage hidden in the brush.

  He recalled hearing about this cottage from his brothers, but he’d never been inside before. Nestled in the middle of carefully-tended flowers and trimmed bushes, it consisted of two chambers. The front chamber was small but cozy, with a table with four chairs in the middle and two larger, cushioned chairs in front of the hearth. Vases of dried flowers on the mantle above it gave the place a pleasing scent of lavender. The only other furnishing was a chest covered with thick furs and a couple of books resting on top. Jennie loved books, so it was no surprise to find them inside the cottage.

  Jennie moved to the back chamber, waving her hand as she spoke. “Aedan loves it so much that he added the front chamber. Sometimes we like to sit and read out here where ’tis so quiet.”

  The back chamber held a large bed, piled high with furs and pillows, but his gaze caught on the unusual ceiling. He couldn’t help but stare at it as he followed his aunt into the back.

  Aunt Jennie said, “It opens to the sky, but you’ll not be using that his time of the year. Aedan had it built so we could look at the stars in the summer. He has the rectangular part connected to a rope outside. He can lift the roof and tuck it away for the night, though you must do it from outside. ’Tis one of Aedan’s favorite things, to gaze up at the stars on a clear night. ’Tis far too cold this time of year, and Sela needs you close.”

  He wasn’t sure what to do for Sela and said as much. “How can I help, Aunt Jennie?”

  “Set her down on the bed so I can examine her before I go.”

  Connor did as Aunt Jennie asked, watching her skilled fingers travel across Sela’s body without disturbing her. “Hand me the tallow, please.”

  Connor gave it to her and she held it up close to Sela’s face. She did not stir or even twitch. “Look at the dark circles under her eyes. She hasn’t been sleeping much at all if I were to guess, which is probably why she fell asleep in your arms right away. She knows she’s safe.” She handed Connor back the tallow and covered Sela up with a plaid.

  “What do I do for her, Aunt Jennie?”

  “Let her sleep. She’ll probably sleep the night away and wake up with little memory of the tricks her mind played on her. Exhaustion can do odd things to a person. I’ll return with a basket of food and some ale. Let’s hope she’s fine in the morn, but I would suggest keeping her away from the keep and Claray for the time being.”

  “Are you sure seeing Claray won’t help her?”

  “That all depends on your answer to this question. Could she be right? Could this man be watching her? Because if so, I’m sure she wants Claray far, far away.”

  Connor had no idea, but he intended to find out.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  When Sela opened her eyes, she thought she was still dreaming for a moment. One of her good dreams, where Connor was with her, not a nightmare full of spiders. They were in a strange chamber, and he lay next to her on the covers wearing naught but a plaid. It had to be a dream, and yet, she was wearing her gown from the abbey. She climbed out of bed, careful not to awaken him, and shed her clothing.

  He did not disappear.

  Could this be real?

  She could look at him all day long. He looked peaceful, sound asleep as he was. Then, to her surprise, one of his eyes popped open, followed by the other.

  “Are you really here, Connor Grant?” She ran her finger down his jawline. “Why did you come? Are you growing a beard? You look quite scruffy.”

  “Three questions are too many at once. Aye, I’m here. I came because I love you, and I didn’t have the chance to trim my beard first.”

  “Where are we?” she asked, her finger still traveling over his body, over his ear, down his chin, to his dark chest hairs. She could go on touching him forever.

  “We are in a cottage on Cameron land.”

  “How did you know to come?”

  “Mother Matilda was concerned about you.”

  “I turned daft, did I not? I saw things that weren’t there. I thought Hord was outside the abbey, setting his spiders loose on me. What is wrong with me?” She stopped the movement of her hand and locked gazes with him.

  He took her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss, then cradled it against his chest. “My aunt, the healer, says exhaustion can breed illusions. You fell asleep as soon as I picked you up in my arms. You had dark circles under your eyes.”

  “Connor, will this never end?”

  He sighed, pulling her closer. “Aye, someday ’twill end for you
, but ’tis too fresh.”

  “Make love to me,” she said, feeling his hardened sex underneath his plaid. “I need you.”

  “Sela, we are not married. I could get you with child. ’Tis wrong for us to keep doing this, but I’ll tell you that you are impossible to ignore when you lie in my arms with naught on. Have you decided to accept my proposal?”

  She chewed on her bottom lip before she answered. “How can I marry you when I fear I am losing my mind? I sent Claray along with Mistress Jennie because my nightmares were becoming worse, and I feared I would hurt her in the middle of the night.” She paused, considering the matter—if she got with child, would it be a sign?—then said, “If I am with child, I will marry you. Otherwise, I will not subject you to my maladies.” She reached down underneath his plaid and gripped him lightly, moving her hand up and down. “I need you. Please?”

  He growled and took her lips in his, ravaging her mouth with a desire that she shared. She pushed him away enough to say, “I do love you, Connor.”

  “All right, but this will never happen again until you agree to be mine,” he said, moving his hand down to the thatch of light curls in the vee of her legs, teasing her folds with his finger before he plunged into her slick wetness.

  “’Tis not the part of you I want.” She reached for his hand and removed it.

  He stood up and dropped his plaid to the ground, then settled himself between her thighs and said, “Guide me. Show me you want this.”

  She spread her legs and grasped him, bringing him to her entrance, playing with the head a bit before positioning him to enter her. “Your turn.”

  He plunged into her, moaning when he was deeply seated, and dropped his head to her shoulder. “Sela, you drive me to daftness. Do you not know it?”

  He pulled slowly out and then moved back into her, waiting until the last second to thrust in completely. She gasped.

  “I love you. Tell me you love me again,” he whispered against her ear, his warm breath heating her even more.

  “I love you, Connor. I need you.”

  He thrust and withdrew, thrust and then held, pulsating in the deepest part of her.

  She gasped, each one coming in a higher pitch. “Connor.”

  “You’ll be mine someday, will you not?” He brought his lips down to the silky skin of her neck, caressing every spot where he could feel the beat of her heart.

  “Aye, I am yours now. I’ll never want another.”

  He pulled out again, propelling himself in and out until she feared she was loud enough to be heard in the abbey. Her need built inside her, deliciously painful, but she wanted him to set the pace. “Again,” she whispered in a husky tone.

  He continued to move slowly, in and out, in a rhythm that was sweet torture. When she could take no more, she pressed against him. “More, faster, please.”

  He sped up the rhythm, driving into her with a force that she needed. Clutching his shoulder, digging her nails into his skin, she cried out his name as she teetered on the edge, finally going over into a convulsing state of pleasure as he called out her name and joined her.

  They lay there quietly, bodies still intertwined. “Sela, I cannot live without you,” Connor said at last. “Please marry me.”

  “When I am convinced I will not be a burden to you, I will consider it. I can’t say any vows to you until I trust myself. Can you understand that?”

  He nuzzled her neck, taking in the sweetness of her scent, and kissed her shoulder. “You need more time. I will be patient.”

  He rolled to the side and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Tell me something else. What made you think Hord was back? You must have had a reason.”

  She thought back on the last few days. “It was just a feeling—that I was being watched, judged—that he was lying in wait for me. Instead of cowering like I used to, I vowed to fight him. I searched and found several stout sticks that I could use to defend myself. But I know I imagined the spiders in my chamber last eve. I did find a few more than usual around the abbey, but that truly means naught. I know that.”

  “Aye, it could be just the weather,” he said, lightly rubbing her back. “Do you want me to take my leave again?”

  “As much as I love having you here, we cannot live like this without marriage. I know that. The only thing I ask is that you might search the area a bit before you leave. Would you be willing to do that? I know the guards at the abbey have looked for signs of Hord, but they’re not like Grant guards.”

  “My men are already searching. Why don’t you dress and return to the abbey when the sun is up, and I’ll talk with Aunt Jennie and Uncle Aedan. Tell them more about the possible intruder.”

  “I would appreciate that. Will you stop to see me before you go? Please?” She played with his bottom lip and his teeth came out to nip her lightly.

  “I promise.” He stood up, giving her a full view of his body, the planes and crevices of his muscles begging to be touched, but she controlled herself.

  “Someday, when I’m able, I plan to kiss every spot on that big body of yours. Just looking at you pleases me.”

  He spun around, a blinding grin on his face. “And how I look forward to reciprocating.”

  She watched him grow hard in front of her, chuckling because she was so happy that she could incite such a reaction in him.

  “Keep staring at me, lass, and see what happens,” he taunted.

  He would be hers if she would just say so, and oh, how she wanted to say so, but he deserved better than a woman who couldn’t control her own mind. She tore her gaze from his fabulous body and grabbed her clothing.

  Donning her chemise and gown first, she stretched before she walked over and peeked out the door.

  She swore a shadow crossed in front of her and hid behind a tree.

  Now she knew she was turning daft.

  ***

  Sela was back inside the abbey, waiting in the front receiving room for Connor to return. The men he’d sent out the previous eve had found nothing, but he’d gone out again with a larger group, including a few Cameron guards. They’d been gone nearly three hours. She’d gone through the motions, completing all of her chores, but now there was nothing to distract her.

  She wanted to see him.

  She wanted to know what he’d say about Hord.

  Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait much longer. Connor stopped Midnight Moon in front of the abbey after waving the Cameron guards on to their keep. The two guards he’d brought with him continued to patrol the area as they’d done since he arrived.

  Rather than wait for him to come inside, she rushed outside. “Did you find anything?”

  He dismounted and took her hand. “Nay, naught. We found one place a short distance away that appeared to be a reivers’ camp, but they’d moved on. There was no evidence of a single traveler anywhere.”

  So she was losing her grip on reality. Somehow, she would have preferred it if they’d found him, or some sign of him. It would have meant she was all right. “My thanks for checking. It must be my imagination. I’m so sorry to have brought you here for naught,” she said, tears misting in her eyes.

  “Naught? I’d gladly come to see the woman I love anytime. All you need to do is say the word, and I’ll come to you.” He glanced up at the skies, gray clouds moving in. “But I must go. We wish to be home before nightfall. Send a messenger anytime,” he said. He gave her a brief kiss on the lips, then mounted his horse.

  He turned away, but she stopped him. “Connor?”

  “Aye?”

  “Remember me, please? I...I don’t want you to give up on me after all. I have this fear you’ll forget me when you are around all the lasses in Clan Grant. I’m sure there is a line of beauties hoping to catch your eye.”

  “That could be, but I don’t notice them. Only one lass has ever caught my eye, and she stands in front of me. I’ll remember you forever.”

  He gave a short wave and took his leave. The skies were beginning to look f
ierce, so she hugged herself and hurried back inside. Mother Matilda was waiting for her.

  The older woman gave her a shrewd look. “You are better?”

  “Aye, forgive me for whatever I did last eve. I don’t recall much, but I know I was not making sense.”

  “Sela, when you came here, I asked you to decide who your heart belongs to. I told you mine belongs to God. I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet, but I’m quite sure your heart belongs to Connor Grant.”

  Her head dropped and she fought to hold back tears. “Mayhap you are right, Mother Matilda, but I still have many sins to atone for. I’m working hard on that, and I pray every day.”

  “Good. I’m glad you are. Your answers will come soon.”

  She had visited with Claray earlier, while Connor spoke with his aunt and uncle. The wee lass was having the time of her life with the Cameron girls, Tara and Riley. Jennie had invited Claray to stay for a few more days, and Sela had heartily agreed. Riley was twelve summers and Tara ten and six, old enough to watch over her although not so old that they wouldn’t want to play.

  Although she missed her daughter, Sela did not want to burden Claray with her problems.

  Talk was quiet that eve after the last meal, as if the nuns were afraid she would break in front of them.

  Sister Grace asked, “Are you sure you’re hale?”

  “Aye, I was exhausted, and I don’t recall most of what happened. I feel much better today.” Another white lie. Much of the night had come back to her, but she didn’t feel ready to discuss it with anyone.

  When the meal finished, she stopped to say her evening prayers, thanking God especially for Connor, then went straight to her chamber. She searched it thoroughly and didn’t find even one spider, to her delight.

  She’d almost fallen asleep when a huge boom of thunder awakened her, so loud that she sat straight up in bed, reaching for an extra plaid due to the sudden chill in the air. The storm continued, but she was so exhausted, her eyes fluttered shut again.