Holding (Moving the Chains Book 5)

by Kata Čuić

  “It looked a lot worse hours ago before all the rain washed away the rest of the Mace.” I shake my head when she opens her mouth and cut her off at the pass instead. “How’d it go with Ben?”

  “He’s engaged.”

  I guess we’ve both had a shitty day. “Staring at each other while we get soaked to the bone is a little too dramatic for my taste. Can we get out of here?”

  She frowns but nods. Then, she throws her arms around my waist and nuzzles her face against my chest.

  She hasn’t been able to look directly at me since that night in the hotel room, but now she’s hugging me in the pouring rain in the middle of the busiest city in the world. Like no amount of embarrassment could hold her back.

  I can’t remember the last time someone put my needs above their own so plainly, and I want to give her the same in return. I wrap my arms around her, squeeze back, and bury my nose in her wet hair. She smells like her nickname—peaches and sunshine. I never knew happiness had a scent before.

  It’s not enough to shake off this shitty day, but it’s a hell of a start.

  She pulls back and gazes at me with a furrowed brow. “Where are you parked?”

  We wind our way through throngs of other rain-soaked people. She follows where I lead without a word, linking her arm through mine when the crowds threaten to separate us. She silently holds her hand out for the keys. I oblige. My head is pounding. With the concussion the ER doctor diagnosed me with, I’m in no shape to drive.

  If the team docs find out I refused to be admitted for overnight observation…hell, if they find out about the concussion at all, I might be benched from off-season training activities.

  Tori doesn’t press me for any more information. She’s got her hands full with heavy traffic, heavier rain, and my giant truck that was the only thing I bought for myself with my signing bonus.

  It’s not until we’re on the highway headed north that she finally breaks. “Where’s Evie?”

  I tell her the run-down of today’s events.

  Tori chews her lip and blinks at the windshield a few times. “I want to hate her for what she’s put you through. For what she obviously did to you today, but I…can’t. I just can’t. I’m a woman, too. Never in my worst nightmares can I truly, really imagine living through what she’s been through.” She takes a deep breath. “Don’t be mad at me, but after the little you revealed at the wedding, I had to dig deeper and do my own research to fully know what you’re up against with that situation. I’m not about to pretend I understand what you and your friends have been through or to give you even free therapist type of advice about how to cope. What I will promise is to do my best to keep this out of the press. I will call in whatever reinforcements I need to make that happen, okay?”

  The only thing stopping me from reaching across the cab of my truck to hold her hand is the horrible driving conditions. She needs to concentrate, and I need to man up instead of using her for comfort she’s probably not comfortable with. “Rob’s taking care of it, actually. The only thing I’m going to need your help with is laying low until my face heals.”

  “Done.”

  We drive the rest of the way to Albany in silence.

  “You’re sure this color matches my skin tone? I’m warm, and you’re cool.”

  I smother the urge to laugh. Not that it’s not funny. But when a six foot, two-hundred-twenty-pound professional football running back asks for the hundredth time if my concealer is the right shade for his face, I know he’s genuinely concerned about wearing makeup for the first time in his life.

  “I can’t even tell you have anything on,” I assure him. “We didn’t need to come out in public tonight. Not that I’m unappreciative of your offer to take me to dinner, but you could’ve thanked me for all the work I’ve done in the privacy of your home without anyone else seeing us.”

  He leans back on his side of the booth, finally seeming to relax about his appearance. “I needed to get out of there for a while. I’m a jock. I know practice makes perfect. I’ve gotta get back to team activities eventually, so I’m going to have to get used to either wearing makeup all the time or lying about a cat I don’t actually own.”

  “I could actually adopt a cat for you, so you won’t have to lie,” I offer.

  He doesn’t laugh, so I try another route. “The scratches are healing nicely. I don’t think the scars will be permanent. It’s just going to take a little more time than we expected for the marks to fade to normal.”

  He barks out a laugh then glances around before leaning across the table to whisper, “It sounds sick, but part of me wishes they wouldn’t fade at all. I’ve been riding Evie’s ass for years about how to deal with the way worse scars she still has, and this is the closest I’ve ever been to getting a taste of my own medicine. I get it now more than I ever did before. And hell. It’s not even nearly the same thing. My best friend attacked me in a terrified moment of mistaken identity. As soon as she realized what she’d done, she couldn’t stop crying and apologizing. A fucking sicko attacked her in a much worse way and almost killed her, and now he’s out of prison. It’s not fair. Fuck, it’s so unfair.”

  “It is an absolute privilege to know you, Michael Mitchell.” I stare at him in awe. As handsome as I thought he was at first sight, as much as he’s gained my respect for the way he’s reacted to my drunken antics, he looks absolutely brilliant in the dim light of this elegant restaurant. His glowing appearance has nothing to do with the fact that he’s footing the bill for this very expensive meal. He’s gone from all-American stud to knight in shining armor in my opinion. “My job aside, I am so honored to be sitting here with you right now.”

  He scoffs. “Why would you say a thing like that? I literally just admitted to you I’ve been a terrible friend for years to someone who means the world to me.”

  I swirl the wine in my glass and think about how to say what I want to tell him in a way that won’t send him recoiling. I’m all too aware Mike isn’t comfortable being in the spotlight even though he’s one of the most deserving players—on and off the field—of accolades. I probably wouldn’t be this honest with him at all if not for the fact that he’s already seen me at my worst. “Here’s the thing. I conducted research about Evie, so I could be aware enough to manage any potential bad press that could happen as fallout from the situation you’re caught up in, but it’s impossible for me to research your relationship with her beyond what you tell me. What you’ve shown me by your actions is your deep love for her. My brothers love me, but they would never, ever admit to someone else that they haven’t always necessarily done right by me. I don’t even think they’re as aware as you are that they haven’t given me what I’ve needed over the years.”

  Mike smiles tightly as the server delivers our dinners, nodding instead of answering with words that everything looks to our liking. He waits until the guy’s well out of earshot before continuing our conversation. “What have you needed over the years that they haven’t given you?”

  “Are you asking because you’re curious to learn more about me or because you need some free therapy to figure out how to move forward with Evie?”

  He tries to hide his smile behind a mouthful of steak. It’s adorable and unsettling. He already knows way more about me than he should. “Both.”

  Well, then. My answer better be doubly worth his time and attention. “I appreciate any love that someone gives me. Don’t get me wrong. God knows there are all sorts of horrible stories out there, and I’m not comparing myself to those. I guess…I want their support more than them trying to do everything for me. I want to know they trust me enough to let me stand on my own two feet and make my own mistakes. How can I help goes much further than I told you so. Does that make sense?”

  Mike swallows thickly. “It’s about trust?”

  I didn’t pare it down quite that simply, but…“It is. Love without trust is just affection. Affection isn’t a bad thing, but real, selfless love? That requires a heck of a
lot of trust.”

  “Shit.” Mike leans back and wipes his mouth with his napkin. “That’s why she’s still clinging to Rob.” He shakes his head and stares at his lap. “All I saw were his failures—the way he stepped out on their marriage when she asked him to—but I guess she saw it as proving he could be trusted to do what she needed instead of what he wanted. I’ve never done that. Not with her, not with my sisters, not with anyone.”

  “I don’t think that’s true. You certainly proved to me you understand trust very well.” My cheeks flame. “I did not at all mean to imply you love me just because you haven’t blabbed about the horrid hotel incident.”

  “Maybe you love me because you haven’t said a word about it either.”

  We stare at each other.

  He glances between his empty plate and my untouched one. “Do you not like your dinner? I can send it back if you want something else.”

  Thank God he’s giving us another out. I honestly had no idea where to carry this conversation from there. “I, um, didn’t want to talk with my mouth full.”

  “And I inhaled my food while yours went cold.” He chuckles. “Please eat. Enough about me anyway. I don’t want to be the kind of guy who only takes and doesn’t give anymore. I can’t change the past, but I can do better going forward. Just like on the field.”

  “With an attitude like that,” I point my fork at him and stick to a safer topic, “you won’t even need me this season. You’re going to be the best player for the Albany Wolves all by yourself.”

  “I need you, Tori,” he insists. “I have no idea what’s going to happen this season, but I have this bad feeling things are going to get way worse before they get better.”

  I have to force myself to concentrate on our conversation because this steak cuts like butter and is without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. “What do you mean? Things seem settled. Everyone appears to be behaving themselves in the public eye.”

  He pushes his plate away and leans closer across the table, lowering his voice to a harsh whisper. “Yeah. For now. What happens if Rob and Evie’s secret marriage gets out? I’m one of only two other people who know about it. I’m not a rocket scientist, but I’m not stupid either. The press will figure out the timeline, and then they’ll hound me and Alex about it. Alex is a wild card as it is. My teammates already got the wrong idea about Evie attending some of my games last season. What are they going to think if she’s not here this year? I’m about to start training camp. I can’t afford that kind of gossip interfering with my sophomore season. I promise to behave myself, but I can’t control anyone else.”

  “Hmm.” Those are all valid points. Considering the gossip sites David often uses to research his marketing plans, professional players are judged by way more than just their stats on gameday. These potential scenarios could all very well end up being the wrong kind of publicity to elevate Mike to the level the team wants him to be in this year. “We need some sort of distraction in case any of this stuff pops up. Something that will make the press and fans focus on you instead of the people close to you.”

  “If you think adopting a cat will do the trick, then let’s do it.” Mike gazes at me evenly. “I trust you, Peaches.”

  Suddenly, there’s a lot more resting on my shoulders. I can’t afford to make mistakes that won’t only affect me. Like that last time.

  “So, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

  Uh-oh. Peaches doesn’t usually interrupt me while I’m working, so this must be big. I lower the leg press back into position slowly. “What’s up?”

  “You got some news for me, too, baby?” Templeman leers at Tori from the machine beside me.

  The guy has turned out to be all right in spite of acting like an ass sometimes. He’s one of the few teammates I sort of consider a friend after an entire year of getting to know the other Wolves, but my prediction has come true. He’s like dealing with another Alex. If Templeman isn’t talking about football, then he’s blabbing about his latest conquest. I have no idea how he has the energy to perform at a professional level with all the energy he’s expending between the sheets. Or in the back of an Uber. Or in the champagne room at the exclusive strip club my teammates are always trying to drag me to.

  “Shut up and finish your reps,” I snap at him. “You know damn well she’s one of the people who make us look good in the media, so she’s off-limits. She deserves a little respect unless you want her to leak a story about your secret love for unicorns.”

  Templeman shakes his head. “No shame in my game. Just because I haven’t found the perfect unicorn yet don’t mean I’m gonna quit trying.”

  “Why can’t I just have normal friends?” I mutter.

  He grins.

  Tori clears her throat to get my attention. Her face is redder than her hair, which I didn’t think was possible. “Mr. Mitchell, follow me, please.”

  She turns on the ball of her foot and storms out of the weight room, not even waiting for me to follow.

  Templeman whistles. “Shit, man. She must have really bad news. I’ve never seen her look that mad.”

  I have. The morning after she got shit-faced in a hotel room and stripped for me. She wasn’t mad at me so much as herself. I guess that’s changed.

  “Text me if you need help,” Templeman says in all seriousness. “I got your back, bro.”

  I might take him up on that depending on what the good news is. Already, worst-case scenarios of my hotel room being bugged with a nanny cam are popping up in my mind.

  The hallway is empty when I exit the weight room, so on a wild guess, I find the nearest conference room.

  Sure enough, Tori’s waiting for me, tapping her foot against the linoleum with her arms crossed over her chest while she does her best to glare a hole through me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Remember that little conversation we had about being supportive instead of trying to fix everything?”

  Fuck. I called it. “Someone has a video of the hotel room incident, don’t they?”

  “What?” She cocks her head back in obvious confusion. “No! I mean back there with Templeman! You should have let me handle it.”

  I can breathe again. This is not a problem at all. “I can’t let him talk to you that way.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Every member of this organization had to earn their right to be here, whether on the field or behind the scenes. Just because I have breasts and a vagina does not mean I get an exception. If they can tease you by sending you prostitutes and nicknaming you Monk, then I can take a little heat, too.”

  I hear the words coming out of her mouth. I do. They just don’t make any sense, and they’re getting blurred by the mental image of her naked body. “Um, no.”

  “Um, yes,” she insists. Right before she all but collapses into the nearest chair and lays her head on the desk. Her voice comes out muffled. “Fuck. It doesn’t matter anyway. This is never going to work.”

  Double shit. She cursed. This is worse than I thought. I close the door behind me to give us a little privacy. If she’s here to tell me I’m about to ride the bench for the upcoming season, then I’m going to need some time to regroup before facing my teammates again.

  “Peaches.” I take a deep breath then sink into the chair closest to her. “Give it to me straight. Bad news first.”

  She raises her head. There are actual tears glistening in her eyes. “I’m your distraction for the rest of the season.”

  Yeah, she is. It’s a problem, sure, but I’m handling it. We keep things professional between us, even as friends. “I asked for the bad news first.”

  “That is the bad news!” she shrieks.

  I still don’t understand why she’s so upset. “Is this because I saw you pee?”

  She narrows her eyes then pushes a folder toward me that I hadn’t even noticed her carrying before. I’ve gotten a lot better at reigning in my dick with the practice of having her around all the t
ime, but I’m not blind enough not to be sidetracked by the dress she’s wearing that hugs all her curves. The problem is that I know exactly what’s under her clothes, and it’s becoming a huge distraction from focusing on my job.

  I open the folder only to stare at a picture of myself. With Tori. At dinner over a week ago before my face had healed enough for me to show up for conditioning without makeup on.

  There are more.

  Photos of Tori coming and going from my home when she brought me groceries and all sorts of weird creams to help my face heal faster during the two weeks I laid as low as possible. Tori and I staring at each other in the pouring rain in New York City. My arms wrapped around Tori when I gave in and accepted her comfort.

  I can’t believe my eyes even as I say a silent prayer of thanks that there are no photos of us leaving the hotel in Ironville together. “People have been following me? Taking pictures of us when we didn’t know? Or give permission?”

  “You really don’t understand how this whole celebrity thing works, do you?”

  I glance up at her sullen voice only to find her not looking at me. She’s rubbing her forehead with her eyes closed like she’s rocking the sort of headache I had after being whacked with a frying pan that thankfully wasn’t cast iron.

  “I’m not a celebrity. I’m a football player.”

  It’s a definite sign how annoyed she is by the amount of glare she manages with only one eye cracked open. “You’re a professional football player who made a name for himself by being one of the best rookies the Wolves have ever signed to the roster. Your hard work is paying off on the field, which means you’re now a celebrity off of it.”

  Holy hell. I’d never admit it to them, but I’ve spent many years being a little jealous of Rob and Alex. No matter how hard I worked or what my stats looked like, they were always the stars of the show. Quarterbacks are like the lead singers on a football team. They get all the attention anyway, but Rob also comes from a famous football family. He didn’t necessarily enjoy the limelight, but Alex sure as shit still lives for it. His personality is as big as the numbers he puts up on his record in any given season, and the ladies love him because he loves them right back. He’s always been the fan favorite—both in high school and in college.