Holding (Moving the Chains Book 5)

by Kata Čuić

  She bites her lip and glances away. “We can’t. I already floated that idea instead of the breakup. They didn’t want to hear it. David said fans wouldn’t respond well to you having something to celebrate when they were still licking their wounds from a playoff loss.”

  The stupid smile splitting my face might never go away. Ever. “You…fought against their idea? You suggested we get engaged instead of breaking up?” I jump off the bed almost as fast as I jumped onto it. “That’s it. Get dressed.”

  “I knew you’d be mad,” she mumbles, slowly rising from the bed then fumbling through a duffel bag for clothes. “I didn’t think you’d kick me out if I told you the truth though.”

  “Mad?” My laughter actually sounds a little mad. As in the insane variety. There’s a part of me that will never stop believing some things in life are too good to be true. “I’m not mad. I’m not kicking you out. I’m taking you ring shopping.”

  She’s trying so hard to fight the grin that wants to stretch her sweet lips that she actually bites down on the bottom one to keep her expression somewhat serious. She can’t hide the gleam of excitement in her eyes though. “We can’t do that, and you know it.”

  “The hell we can’t! You’re right. I’m not going to wait around for them to order me to date Kaylie when this stupid media ploy tanks.” I fish my keys out of my pocket and latch onto the doorknob. “Come on. I know a great place in town. It’s a small family business.”

  She shakes her head. A hint of that smile breaks free. “And the owners will know you. Just like everyone else in town who will be all over this in a heartbeat.”

  She is not saying no.

  She’s just saying we can’t do it publicly.

  I scrub my hands over my face. “Good point. We have to be smart about this. I don’t want to risk your scholarship or my playing time. We’ll look online instead.”

  The happiness slips off her face as she sinks to the bed. “We can’t do that either. Just like we lied to our families in the beginning to prevent the truth from getting out, we’d have to hide this from them, too. This is a big life decision, Mike. My dad would lose his mind if you didn’t ask him permission to marry me. We can’t risk it.”

  Okay, she’s still not saying no. She’s just saying not right now.

  I walk back to where she’s seated at the edge of the mattress and drop to my knees in front of her. It’s not the kind of proposal my sisters squeal about in movies, but I never planned for this to happen. I fold her hands in mine. “I understand all that. I do. I will ask him when the time is right, but it would be stupid not to ask you first.”

  She pulls one of her hands free to plaster it over my mouth. Tears shine in her eyes. “Don’t. Like you said, you have two years left on your contract. We have to lie to the whole world for the next two years. They might force you to publicly date Kaylie. Or anyone. You might not like it, but you’ll do it because you love your job. Just like you didn’t want a fake relationship with me, but you gave in anyway.” The barest hiccup of a cry slips past her lips. “You can’t ask me to marry you now, then give in to the next woman to warm your bed. I love you, Mike, but…I can’t live like that.”

  “Babe…” I push her body flat against the bed with my own and cover every goddamn inch of her skin with my mouth. I kiss her, already dizzy from stupid words that she’s shown me for so long. It’s a fucking miracle she’s held onto them as stubbornly as she did.

  I rest my forehead against hers and just…breathe her in.

  Another sob pushes her chest harder against mine. “I love you too much to ask you to choose between your career and me. Someone already sacrificed everything for me, and I can’t ever let anyone else do that.”

  Her mom.

  I pull my head away to gaze down at her. “Is that why you’ve been fighting this? Not giving in all the way? Because you don’t want me to have to choose either?”

  She nods, biting her lips like she’s trying to stuff all her love back inside.

  “Peaches…” I trail my mouth over her face, savoring every smooth dip and curve and memorized feature that I see even in my sleep. “Because I love you—because she loved you—it’s not a choice at all. That’s what love is. Being willing to give up everything for someone else. Being selfless. Not selfish.”

  She squeezes her eyes tightly shut and cries harder.

  I kiss her tears. “Just like you did for me. You’ve already nearly been fired and lost your scholarship, right? You were willing to lose all that because you thought that’s what I wanted, weren’t you?”

  Her eyes pop open. “That’s not nearly the same thing! I would have just been a year behind on my plan, that’s all! It wouldn’t have ruined my whole career!”

  “This is the same. We’ll be behind two years on our plan, that’s all. I won’t do anything to jeopardize my job or your scholarship.” I kiss her again. Because she loves it when I kiss her and because I’ll never get enough. “We can make it two years, babe. I believe in us.”

  “Two years…” She whimpers. “I live in Virginia again. You still live in Albany. We won’t have time for secret rendezvous during the season.”

  I fight back the laugh building in my chest and plan to buy her a very special delivery to help get her through the drought that’s coming. I roll off her and pull her body against mine on the mattress. “Ask me how my day went again.”

  She blinks at me. “Uh, how did your day go?”

  I kiss the tip of her nose and try not to smile too hard. “The proposal was a success, and the wedding will be here in Ironville. In two months.”

  The corner of her mouth tips up. “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for them.”

  I chuckle because she’s definitely not following me. “After tonight, you only have to make it two months. That’s how I reach tough goals. I break it up into baby steps. So, that’s what we’ll do.”

  Her bottom lip puffs out. “Two months is so far away though!”

  “Maybe it’ll be enough time for you to work on your alcohol tolerance, so you won’t pee in front of me after the next wedding reception.”

  She punches me square in the chest. Then, she makes love to me.

  Everything is in place, right down to the last rose petal. All I need now is the guy.

  And some way to pass the next ten or so hours.

  I glance at the bed, where every toy he’s sent me for the past two months is displayed for his choosing. A shiver of anticipation runs up my spine. The real thing is going to feel so much better than the silicone mold.

  A knock on the hotel room door startles me. I didn’t order room service, but maybe Mike snuck away before the ceremony. The big surprise for later will be ruined. A quickie would make up for that.

  I fling the door open with a wide smile only to find a familiar woman in a white wedding dress grinning back at me.

  “Hurry up! Grab your stuff! I have a dress waiting for you! We’re going to sneak you in!” She barrels past me in a flurry of words and silk. Then, stops dead in her tracks, her mouth hanging wide open as she stares at the bed.

  “Nuh-uh. Nope. Did not need that much information about my brother.” She turns around to face me again, her back to the damning evidence that can in no way be denied.

  My face must be brighter than the surface of the sun. It certainly feels as hot. “I, um, I can explain. It’s a joke!”

  “Haha, yeah.” She chuckles dryly. “And it’s on me. That’s what I get for inviting myself in.”

  “Come on! If we’re gonna pull this off, we don’t have much time!” A voice at my back calls from the hallway, footsteps approaching.

  Evie holds up a hand and opens her mouth, probably to stop whoever it is from walking through the door.

  It’s too late.

  A low whistle makes me cringe.

  “Damn. It’s always the ones who seem the most straight-laced that are the kinkiest behind closed doors.”

  Is death from embarrassment a thing? Bec
ause I feel like it’s a thing. I can barely breathe. Evie will have to apologize to Mike for me not making it two years. Because I’m dying.

  She nods once—a curt, resolute movement that makes her curls bounce. “Right. So, Tori Russo, meet Alyssa Quentin. Alyssa, this is Mike’s girlfriend, Tori. I’m invoking the circle of trust. Aside from introductions, nothing seen in this room will ever be spoken of again.”

  “Speak for yourself,” the woman—Alyssa—mutters. “I’m going to give him so much shit about this.”

  Evie points a finger at her. “No, you will not. For the same reason you kept your mouth shut about me moving to Sacramento.”

  Alyssa scoffs. “That was to protect you from the media and your psycho stalker. I’m not going to post a picture of this on Twitter. I’m just maybe going to tell Alex all about it, so we can have fun at the reception.”

  That snaps me out of my embarrassed haze. “No! Not Alex!”

  Alyssa narrows her eyes at me. “So, you’re clearly familiar with Alex.” She turns her gaze to Evie. “Why did Alex get to meet her first? At least I live in the same state as Mike!”

  Evie rolls her eyes then tears into the adjoining bathroom, calling over her shoulder as she goes, “If it wasn’t for Alex, they wouldn’t even be together! And you’re going to keep your trap shut because the media isn’t supposed to know they’re still together!”

  Alyssa sighs. “I don’t know how you people live like this. I thought artists were dramatic. Football is a whole other level.”

  Evie reemerges from the bathroom with my makeup bag. Her expression is an odd combination of severe and sympathetic. It’s obvious her response is meant for me. “It’s a hard life in many ways, but it’s worth it. I’m so sorry for what you’re being put through.” She steps toward me and opens her arms then freezes. “Nope. Can’t do it. Still too awkward with what I’m trying to ignore on the bed behind me. Come on. I’ll hug you later.”

  The spin cycle going on in my brain intensifies when I’m pushed into a different hotel room on the same floor. A bustle of activity flurries around the room in various shades of taffeta.

  “The ball is in play,” Alyssa announces to the other women. “It’s game time!”

  They descend on me like rabid hyenas. I’m shoved into a chair in front of a mirror. A woman I don’t know starts combing my hair while reaching for a curling wand. Another kneels in front of me and accepts my makeup bag that Evie hands over.

  The idea of anyone other than Mike doing my makeup kind of freaks me out.

  All motion stops when Evie slaps a hand over her mouth. She holds up a finger then rushes into the bathroom.

  Seconds later, the distinct sounds of retching fill the space.

  Oh, no. Is she getting cold feet?

  The woman on the floor in front of me yells, “You better not ruin your makeup! That took me an hour!”

  Wow. That’s not very supportive.

  “Jesus, Tini,” the woman who’s already resumed curling my hair responds. “We can re-do her makeup. It’s the dress you should be worried about.”

  “Shut up, Jess,” Tini snaps while dabbing foundation on my face with a sponge. “You’re the one who insisted she wear her hair down because Rob loves it. There’s probably puke in it now.”

  That’s it. I can’t take anymore. “Who are you people? What’s wrong with you? The bride is so nervous, she’s throwing up, and none of you are even in there helping her!”

  Alyssa leans against a nearby dresser, a smirk on her face. “She’s not nervous. She’s knocked up.”

  “Alyssa,” Tini hisses, her eyes wide as her gaze bounces between me and the bridesmaid who’s still probably going to give Mike crap at the reception. “Shut. Up! No one’s supposed to know!”

  Alyssa shrugs. “She’s in the circle of trust. Evie said so herself.”

  The woman of the day reappears, only a little pale. Thankfully, there’s not a drop of vomit anywhere. Not that an errant puke splatter could be more embarrassing than what she saw in my hotel room.

  “Ugh, I can’t wait to tell Rob. This morning sickness isn’t going away, and it’s getting harder and harder to hide.”

  For a supposed circle of trust, there seem to be a whole lot of secrets going around—me included.

  Tini’s expression softens. Her hand freezes mid-air, still clutching a blush brush. “You’re five months along, sis. I think this one is going to stick. You’re lucky you’re not showing more at this point. Tell him during your first dance like you planned. It’s going to be his favorite wedding present.”

  Ohhhh, the lady doing my makeup is Evie’s sister. That explains her role in the circle of trust.

  A pang of jealousy streaks through my chest. Not only did I grow up with brothers who I could never talk with like this, but I haven’t had a circle of girlfriends in so long, I almost forgot what it feels like to have other women I can count on.

  A peach-colored gown is thrust into my field of view. Evie’s voice carries around the fabric she’s holding up. “We guessed your size from pictures. I hope it fits okay.”

  My gaze bounces around at the women surrounding me. All the women wearing the exact same style of dress except the bride.

  Tears threaten to choke off my words. I didn’t think I’d ever get this chance. “You…you want me to be one of your bridesmaids?”

  Evie’s head pops up from behind the gown. A frown creases her forehead, and she bites her lip. “You absolutely don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable!”

  “I’d be honored.” What else can I say? Why doesn’t this make her uncomfortable? We barely know each other. The first time we met in person, I was kind of a jerk to her.

  She smiles, but it’s soft and tentative like she’s about to break some bad news to me. “You don’t have to worry about pictures being leaked online. It’s going to be a very small wedding with only close friends and family. Everyone attending is aware that Rob and I like to keep our personal life out of the limelight. We’ll choose pictures to release to the media very carefully.”

  “Oh.” Sadly, that wasn’t even my first concern. A few months of being nothing more than a grad student, and my focus is already slipping. “Thank you. That’s good to know.”

  She sits on the bed like her legs give out beneath her.

  Alyssa hands her a bottle of ginger ale.

  After a few sips, Evie continues, “I realize we don’t know each other very well…yet.” She cracks a more genuine smile. “Mike has been like my brother for so long, I forget that we’re not actually related sometimes. He’s walking me down the aisle today, and I wanted to give him a meaningful thank you gift.” She tips the bottle toward me. “That’s you.”

  I try not to let my shoulders visibly fall. “Oh, okay. That’s really sweet of you.”

  Her expression makes it obvious I haven’t hidden my disappointment very well. “I know things seem…hard right now, but it won’t last forever. Being with a pro football player isn’t easy. I won’t lie to you.” She nods—that same decisive motion as before. “So much of what the media portrays, what the fans believe, is fake, but when you have something real? That’s worth fighting for. Mike trusts you, and believe me, he doesn’t give that out to just anyone.”

  Everyone around me laughs. They obviously know it’s true.

  Evie is the first to regain her composure. “If you want to make it in this world, you have to hang onto the good and let go of the bad. My brother loves you, so I love you, too. Anything you need? I will move heaven and earth to keep a smile on that man’s face. And on yours. Whenever you feel like it’s you against the world, I want you to know you have people in your corner. You can call any time of day or night, and we’ll always pick up the phone.”

  A tissue dabbing at my cheek startles me.

  I glance down at Evie’s sister, who’s wearing a small smile of her own. “We haven’t seen him this happy in years, but that doesn’t mean you can ruin your makeup either!”


  I don’t know if it’s hearing from people who’ve known him far longer than I have that Mike’s truly happy with me, or if it’s the offer of friendship, but all the pent-up stress I’ve been clinging to bursts out of me like a levee being overpowered by a hurricane’s storm surge.

  “Are you planning to break up with him?” Tini stares at me with wide eyes.

  “No!” I try to defend myself while blubbering like an idiot. “It’s just that I grew up with five brothers, and I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to have sisters!”

  Alyssa snickers. “After what I just saw in their hotel room? There’s no way she’s planning to break up with him.”

  My cheeks flame, but I laugh anyway. The circle of trust feels safe enough to explain, “We don’t get to see each other that often anymore, so he sends me…presents.”

  Evie crinkles her nose in obvious disgust, but she heaves herself off the bed anyway. “Still TMI, but you’re getting that hug now.”

  “No!” I yelp again, placing my hand on the stomach that’s causing her so much illness to keep her at bay. “Tini didn’t put on the setting powder yet! I’ll ruin your white dress!”

  Evie folds her hands over mine. It’s an entirely different feeling than our first meeting where we sized each other up. “Then, let’s finish getting you ready to surprise him.”

  Alyssa snickers. “I think the surprise is actually going to happen later.”

  I kiss her on the cheek and fold my hand over hers that’s resting in the crook of my elbow. “You look beautiful.”

  She smiles then rolls her eyes, sniffling to keep obvious tears at bay before focusing on the closed double doors leading to the church sanctuary in front of us. “Is this where you threaten to castrate him if he isn’t the picture-perfect husband for the rest of our lives?”

  “No,” I say, trying to soothe her palpable anxiety with a soft tone of voice. “He’s proven his worth. I know he’ll be good to you.”