Holding (Moving the Chains Book 5)

by Kata Čuić

  “It’s awkward, isn’t it?”

  I spin to face Bethany then lean against the counter. “It doesn’t have to be.”

  She blinks at me.

  “When we first met, I immediately thought we could be friends,” I offer.

  Her smile slowly spreads, but it’s genuine. “I thought so, too.”

  “I want to apologize.” I’ve been hoping for this reconciliation for somewhat selfish reasons. “It was never my intention that day to make you question your relationship with Ben. It’s been eating away at me to think I played a part in your breakup.”

  She pulls out a chair at the kitchen table and takes a seat. “I hate to think you’ve been living with that guilt for over a year. It wasn’t you, I swear. It was a domino effect of doubt that I gave in to.”

  “Because you felt like it all happened so fast?”

  She admitted as much at the time.

  “Yeah.” She nods, but there’s an element of shame in her voice that I hate to hear. If she’s still having doubts, then what is she even doing here?

  I sigh and spin around again to stir my noodles. “Yeah, well…My last relationship took years to build, and it crashed and burned anyway. Fast isn’t necessarily a harbinger of doom.”

  “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “Please don’t be mad, but Ben told me a little about it. Woman to woman, I want you to know that you didn’t deserve to be a fake girlfriend, then a secret girlfriend, all for him to choose football over you anyway.”

  “He didn’t.” I would never put someone in the position my mother was forced into. “I didn’t ask him to choose.”

  “Oh. I must’ve misunderstood. I thought that was why you broke up.”

  “No. We just have…different priorities in life.” No matter how much I wish that wasn’t true.

  “Did Ben ever tell you I’m a law student?”

  Ben has told me things she’d likely blush about. “Yes. NYU Law, no less. Good for you. I’m sure you’ll pass the bar with flying colors.”

  “My focus is actually family law and arbitration. Having different priorities in life can be a deal breaker, yes, but it doesn’t have to be if both parties come to a reasonable compromise.”

  I chuckle and sneak a glance at her completely serious expression. “Are you…are you trying to give me relationship advice?”

  She shrugs. “It seems like you really love him if you’re adamant about not asking him to choose you over anything in life. I hate to see you throw a love like that away like I almost did.”

  I have no idea how to respond to that. I have no intention of telling her Ben begged me for a second chance. All because he couldn’t get over her, and just didn’t know how to be single for a while.

  “You know what?” She waves her hand through the air. “Forget I said anything. God knows I don’t want to make things more awkward between us than they already are. I really would like it if we could be friends.”

  “Seriously, stop overthinking it. I’m still friends with all of Mike’s friends.” My phone rings on the countertop. I mutter, “Speak of the devil.”

  Bethany jumps up from her seat, way too excited. “Is it Mike?”

  I arch an eyebrow as suspicion stacks up in my brain. “If you’re only so gun-ho about me patching things up with Mike because you still secretly believe I’m competition for Ben, I’d like to assure you that you’re entirely wrong. Sharing an apartment is nothing more than a business decision. New York City is expensive, and we’re both grad students. Even Ben is better than sharing rent with a stranger.”

  Her cheeks pink, so I know I’m right. My phone stops ringing only to start again.

  “You’ve gotta give him points for persistence at least.” Her smile is full of guilt. And hope.

  “I wouldn’t, actually. That’s called being a stalker and not respecting boundaries. For a modern woman, I’d think you would recognize that’s not healthy behavior. Mike knows better. It’s Fossoway being a pain in my ass tonight.” I completely understand the love/hate relationship Mike has with him now. For the past few months, he’s either making me want to strangle him or making me want to hug him. There’s almost no in-between.

  Bethany’s eyes widen. “The Alex Fossoway? As in the star wide receiver for the Orlando Sharks?”

  Oh, great. “You’re a football fan, I take it?”

  “Um, yeah,” she breathes. “That’s how Ben and I met. I kicked his ass in our shared fantasy football league.”

  The promise of fancy Ramen fades away, replaced by nausea. “On second thought, Bethany, this isn’t going to work out between us after all.”

  Ben strolls into the room, a grin stretched across his face. “You can’t break up with my girlfriend!”

  “I’m pretty sure I just did.”

  My phone rings. Again.

  Ben shakes his head, but that smile just won’t fade from his face. It’s almost as annoying as the incessant phone calls. “He’s not taking no for an answer tonight, huh? Want me to deal with him?”

  “Please,” I beg. This isn’t the first time Ben has fielded Alex’s calls. It’s the least he can do to repay me for all the free therapy.

  Ben picks up the phone. “Fossoway, my man! What’s up?”

  Alex’s annoyed voice fills the kitchen. He’s on speaker. “I’m not your man and stop answering Tori’s phone.”

  “Traitor,” I hiss to Ben.

  He grins. “Sorry, buddy. She makes me do her dirty work when she doesn’t feel like dealing with you.”

  I punch him in the shoulder for ratting me out. He just keeps smiling like a loon.

  “Are you two back together? Because if she doesn’t have the heart to tell me, you can. I’ll let Mike down gently, but he deserves to know either way.”

  “Oh my God,” Bethany gushes. “Are you playing matchmaker? You’re talented and have a big heart!”

  “Who the hell is that? Am I on speaker?” Alex sounds ten seconds away from losing it. “Whoever you are, you can’t tell anyone about this. You’ll ruin my reputation!”

  “That’s my girlfriend, Bethany,” Ben announces with an even bigger shit-eating grin. “Tori’s heart belongs to Mike. We’re never, ever getting back together.”

  “I’m going to kill you,” I mouth to him.

  He rolls his eyes, obviously not taking my threat seriously.

  “Did you just quote a pop song to me?” Alex questions.

  “Do you listen to pop songs enough to recognize that as a quote?” Ben fires back.

  “Touché.” There’s a hint of respect in Alex’s voice. “I’m going to mail you people NDAs, I swear. Anyway, relay a message to Tori for me since she doesn’t want to deal with me tonight.”

  A hint of guilt tightens my shoulders.

  Ben’s smile finally fades as he glances at me. “Sure. What do you need me to tell her?”

  “Let her know Mike can’t make it to the Sing Out gala in Sacramento next weekend. She doesn’t have to worry about running into him, so she can have a good time and do her job.”

  “Will do.” Ben ends the call.

  “Well.” I dump the pot of noodles into the garbage disposal. “I guess I could have answered after all. Sorry for making you my go-between and interrupting your evening. I’m going to head to bed.”

  Bethany places a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t apologize. If anything, I’m sorry.”

  My smile is half-hearted at best. “I’m just glad you still had clothes on when I walked in.”

  She laughs. “Oh, I’m not apologizing for that. I meant I’m sorry things aren’t working out the way you hoped.”

  That doesn’t make any sense. “Things are going exactly as I hoped for. I’ve been stressing out about how to keep the peace between everyone while I’m in town. I don’t want to force his friends to choose between him or me any more than I want Mike to choose between me or football. I’m glad he won’t be there.”

  Bethany smiles, but it’s full of pity. “Then, why do you loo
k so disappointed?”

  Why, indeed.

  “I never thought I’d live to see the day where I admit I’m grateful to Ben for calling me.”

  Rob’s brow furrows. “Who’s Ben?”

  “Tori’s ex.”

  He places his glass of water down on the bar and faces me fully. “Work with me here, Mitchell. I don’t get a lot of sleep these days. Why did Tori’s ex call you, and why are you grateful about it?”

  A rough slap to my back nearly makes me choke on my drink.

  Alex steps up between us with a stupid grin on his face. “Because Ben’s a total douche nozzle who played right into my very capable hands.”

  Rob sighs and rubs his forehead. “What do you people not understand about new parents getting less than zero sleep? Nothing you’re saying makes any sense!”

  Alex rolls his eyes. “Stop whining. You love it, and you know it.”

  Rob straightens. “The baby? No question. You two? Losing my patience.”

  Alex flags down the bartender to order a drink. “Still don’t see why you’re whining. This just proves that as much as things change, they stay the same.”

  “I dunno. I get the feeling you two have teamed up without me, and that’s part of why I have no idea what’s going on.” Rob waves a hand in front of my face. “Are you still experiencing concussion symptoms? I thought you decided to be honest with everyone for a change?”

  Alex takes a swig of his drink. “Calm down. He’s fine. He’s searching the room for his favorite fruit.”

  He’s got my number. This ballroom is packed with bodies, but I wouldn’t miss that head of red hair even in a mob. She’s not here.

  “Are you sure she’s coming?” My nerves are flayed raw at this point. I’ve been on edge ever since Ben’s phone call when I made a snap decision to do this thing.

  “Relax,” Alex advises. “She’s one of the keynote speakers. Of course, she’s coming.”

  “Actually,” Rob winces, which makes me brace for bad news. “She might be giving two speeches tonight. Evie’s running a fever, so I don’t know how long we’ll be able to stay.”

  It’s kind of alarming how much effort I have to put into focusing on something other than the promise of seeing Peaches. “Why is Evie running a fever? What’s wrong?”

  “Don’t panic. It’s nothing horrible; she’s just really uncomfortable right now. We’ve already been to the doctor.”

  Alex and I exchange a suspicious glance. We know a screen play when we hear one.

  “What’s wrong?” Alex repeats very slowly.

  Rob squints exactly one eye. “Mastitis.”

  “Which is?” I lead. Now, I’m the one losing patience.

  “It’s basically a blocked milk duct in her breast…”

  Alex spits his drink out everywhere.

  “Yeah, see, this is why I didn’t want to tell you,” Rob says, deadpan.

  I grab a napkin from the bar and dab at my tuxedo jacket. “Watch it. This is a rental.”

  Rob and Alex exchange a confused glance.

  “Why are you wearing a rental tux?” Alex asks.

  “Why would I buy one? These things cost thousands of dollars.”

  Alex shakes his head and laughs. “You really do not understand that we’re millionaires now, do you?”

  I roll my eyes. Just because he grew up rich doesn’t mean all of us have the same burn-through-money mentality. I gesture toward Rob. “He probably didn’t waste a couple grand on a penguin suit either.”

  “I did not.” Rob looks way too pleased with himself.

  Alex eyes him carefully. Sometimes, it’s scary how much he notices. “Liar. That’s a custom tailor job. You own that.”

  “I didn’t buy it,” Rob specifies. “My wife did.”

  Alex shakes his head. “Right. And the fairies magically tailored it to your abnormal giant size. Dude. Why are you lying about something so stupid?”

  “I’m not lying,” Rob swears. “She had it delivered to my condo before Jeremy and Alyssa’s wedding.” A slightly evil smile spreads across his face. “Evie knows all my measurements. Exactly.”

  The woman in question sidles up to her abnormal giant. He throws his arm around her shoulders and plants a kiss on top of her head. “Hey, baby. How are you feeling? Do you need help with anything?”

  I rub the aching spot in my chest that hasn’t gone away since Peaches called it quits. Fuck. I want what they have. I want all of it, right down to someone knowing all my measurements that she claims are very marketable.

  I’m dying to ask Evie if she’s seen Tori anywhere, but I have to slap Alex on the back of the head first.

  “Stop staring,” I hiss.

  Evie glances down at her own chest with a frown. “It’s really noticeable, isn’t it? I pumped and pumped, but it’s still blocked, and oh my God, Rob, I can’t get up in front of all these people and speak with one of my boobs grossly larger than the other! Even I can’t stop staring at it!”

  He keeps her chest at a very distinct distance while he hugs her on the side. “It’s not that bad. You’re short. The podium will probably give you some cover.”

  Alex chokes on his drink. At least he doesn’t spray it everywhere again. “Does being a new parent also make you a pathological liar? How can you say it’s not that bad? Her chest looks like a grapefruit next to a cantaloupe!”

  Evie whimpers. So, do I. All this fruit talk is ruining things for me. My mouth is still watering for a glimpse of peaches though.

  Rob points at us. “If you don’t want to die today, then cover.”

  We’re such well-trained receivers that we immediately obey our QB’s one-word command. Luckily, we have broad enough bodies to make this work in a room full of people.

  “You’re stuffing her bra with bar napkins, aren’t you?” Alex mutters beside me. “It’ll never work. You’re just going to make one side look lumpy.”

  “Shut up and let me do my magic,” Rob grumbles.

  Evie chuckles. “I actually did stuff my bra once in ninth grade, trying to get you to notice me.”

  “Oh, I noticed,” Rob admits. “What was I supposed to say though? Hey, Evie. I noticed your boobs look weirdly bigger today, and would you like to go on a date with me even though I’m a total pervert with a raging hard-on that I can barely hide?”

  What am I supposed to say? Hey, Tori. I’ve missed your peaches so much that I’ve changed my ways. Can we get married now?

  “Jesus,” Alex mutters. “You two are perfect for each other. Neither of you have any game.”

  My mouth runs dry. I elbow Alex. He doesn’t respond. I elbow him again. Harder.

  “What?” he hisses.

  “Alex, I need help. I have no game.”

  My brain and all my carefully laid plans have completely fled the building. Because the exact same ill-fitting suit that I thought was a hooker trying to pull off a hot librarian look has just entered the room. Her mop of red hair shines like a beacon of hope that I’m too terrified to put any real stock in.

  I swallow, but my tongue still hangs heavy in my mouth. “You guys can’t let me fuck this up again. Seriously. I need help. What do I say? How do I act? I can’t lose her.”

  A strong hand spins me around. Rob’s expression is way too smug. “Remember what I said. Be selfless, not selfish.”

  Evie places her hand over my racing heart. “She’s hurt, Mike. She’s trying to protect herself. Don’t seek her out. Let her come to you. If it’s meant to be, she will. It has to be her choice though.”

  I glance at Alex, but he’s staring at Evie’s chest. “You’re an idiot, Falls. That looks worse!”

  “Don’t call me an idiot!” Evie yelps. “Focus, Fossoway! What’s the game plan?”

  “Stop trying to fake it and tell the truth,” he mutters, pulling napkins out from beneath the neckline of Evie’s dress.

  Rob swats Alex’s hands away.

  “You assholes are going to ruin this for me!” I hiss. “She�
��s never going to sign on for this shit show, no matter how much I grovel!”

  Rob has the nerve to look offended even though he was the one pulling Alex away from his wife’s chest. “We’re a package deal. If she can’t understand that, then she’s not the woman for you anyway.”

  “She absolutely fucking is, and you three will be left in the dust if she demands it,” I tell them in no uncertain terms.

  “We’ll behave.” Alex is surprisingly first to fall in line.

  Evie winces as she hugs me. “You don’t need us for anything. You’re ready to do whatever it takes.”

  Rob claps a hand on my shoulder. “Seal this deal, then we’ll make a pact to find Alex a woman to get him out of our business.”

  Alex suspiciously glances away.

  I’ll come back to that later.

  First, I just need to…

  “Hey, guys.” Her voice sounds like angels singing from the heavens.

  I nearly weep with joy.

  “Oh my gosh, Evie!” she squeals as she gapes at Evie’s uneven, lumpy chest. She still sounds angelic. “What did they do to you?”

  “Oh, this?” Evie glances down then up, her eyes wide and her expression guilty as hell. “Nothing. I did it to myself. Bad choice. They’re going to come help me fix it somewhere a little more private.”

  Rob yelps, “What?”

  Alex nods. “Yeah, we will.”

  Fucking liar. I knew he wouldn’t behave.

  My sister from a similar mister is stronger than I ever gave her credit for because she manages to physically drag two professional football players away until Tori and I are left by the bar, staring at the odd trio as they weave their way toward the ballroom doors.

  “Should I intervene on her behalf with Alex?” Tori asks.

  My knees buckle with relief, so I grab onto the bar for support. I didn’t think we’d dive back into natural conversation so easily after so many months apart. “Nah. He’s annoying as shit, but he means well.”

  Her luscious lips tilt into a smirk. “He really can be annoying, but I agree. He has a good heart.”

  Weird silence punctuates the widening space between us. So much for natural.