Vessel (Cutting Cords Series Book 2)

by Mickie B. Ashling

  “Yo, Highlander,” I flirted playfully. “You wanna fuck?”

  “You irreverent shit,” Trent said, smiling at me. “Come here.”

  He seized my neck when I was close enough and slammed me up against a tree. There was something about his forceful move that turned me on. It was more possessive than aggressive and it made me feel like an object of desire rather than a loser. I whimpered when he crushed my mouth in a bruising kiss. In an instant, we were grinding against each other. I slid my hand underneath the heavy wool, thrilled to feel his cock rising steadily, thick and heavy in my hand. As I twirling my thumb around his already-moist head, the first moan escaped from his lips.

  “You’re so fucking hot,” I breathed, speeding up my hand job.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” he said, leading me over to a strategically designed pile of rocks. There were also several large bushes that gave us some privacy. Not much if you were intent on spying, but enough for a casual walker to overlook us. Since the gardens were closed to all but our group, I was pretty sure we could get away with this. He pushed me down on my knees and lifted his kilt. “Suck me off, boy.”

  “I hate it when you call me boy.”

  Trent captured my face between his hands and glared down at me. “Are we doing this or what?”

  I swallowed my snappy comeback and took him down my throat instead. This was too bloody hot to get twisted out of shape over a stupid word. I’d let him call me anything he wanted if he continued to look at me like I was the most desirable man in the universe.

  “So good,” Trent sighed, pushing in and out of my mouth. He adjusted slightly when he realized I had zero gag reflex, pushing in a little deeper. Soon I was sucking on him as if the world were ending in the next five minutes. The idea that someone could stroll by and see us made it much more exciting. He stopped himself seconds before coming and hauled me up his body, mashing his lips against mine. “I have to fuck you.”

  “Yes.”

  Fumbling in his sporran, he pulled out a condom, and I exhaled in relief. It was the lubricated kind, although I’d been devious enough to squirt some slick up my ass before joining him. I didn’t feel like paying for this joyride all day, but I definitely wanted to get fucked. Literally.

  “Hurry,” I breathed, plucking at his kilt.

  “Bossy little sub.”

  “Whatever,” I sassed, seconds before he bent me over a rock, yanked down my jeans, and shoved into my bare ass. I’d left my briefs in the dressing room, prepared to be ravaged by my horny Scotsman. He was taking possession enthusiastically, and it felt gratifying to be wanted. I relished the sting, and his hot breath against my ear, telling me I was gorgeous. A tear squeezed out unexpectedly, not because I was filled with sadness, but because I was happy for the first time in a very long time.

  “Move,” I begged. “Fuck me hard.”

  “Say please.”

  “Please, sir,” I said, surprising us both.

  “Your ass is so mine,” he rumbled triumphantly, wrapping my cock in his right hand and pumping me in time with the rocking motion of his lower body. He thrust in and out while marking my neck with ravenous kisses. I knew there would be hell to pay when Max saw the hickeys, but I didn’t give a shit. Trent was losing control because of me and it made me light-headed.

  “Fuck me,” I begged, “harder.”

  He shifted position and drew me up against his chest, tilting his hips to go deeper. I was practically sitting on his cock, but he was up to the task, and his busy hand kept up the rhythm on my dripping shaft. “Oh my God.”

  “Come with me,” he ordered, extracting a guttural sound from my throat when he glanced my prostate one second before he came deep inside of me.

  I spurted hot jizz all over the rock. When he had milked every drop, he spun me around and kissed me roughly. “You’re crazy,” he breathed, resting his forehead on mine, even as his hands continued to knead my ass cheeks.

  “You make me feel good,” I said, trying to catch a breath.

  “I’m glad.”

  “We better get you presentable or Max will implode.”

  “He’s already given me an earful,” Trent said, pulling away reluctantly. He tied off the condom and threw it in a handy trash receptacle.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, smoothing down his outfit, which was slightly disheveled.

  “I got a long lecture on taking advantage of a bad situation.”

  We locked eyes and I could see the unspoken question. “You’re not.”

  “I didn’t think so.”

  We kissed again and headed back to the English gardens. I was intent on taking this up with Max, who needed to realize I was not his personal property. Unfortunately, he was already in the middle of the next shoot, and interrupting wasn’t an option. Since they didn’t need me for the rest of the afternoon, I decided to find an Apple store and buy a new phone. Thanks to the cloud, my contacts were easily retrievable.

  I was informed there was a store on Regent Street, which wasn’t too far away. The taxi driver dropped me off at the entrance, and I spent the next hour getting everything I needed. I walked out with a spanking new phone already showing ten missed calls from Cole.

  Ducking into a handy Starbucks, I ordered a grande iced Caramel Macchiato. The weather was warm enough to warrant the cool drink, and I was in the mood. Finding a small table for one, I sat and listened to my voice mails. In the first three messages, Cole sounded contrite and extremely upset. He begged me to return his calls so he could explain. The next messages were a little more formal. They were left earlier today, hours after the initial call, when the hateful admission wasn’t so fresh. His last two messages were angry and demanding. Well, fuck him and his sorry excuses. Did he think I would jump at the chance to hear more about his escapades with Noriko? Regardless of what Trent said, I knew this entire scenario would have been avoidable if Noriko hadn’t pursued Cole aggressively. Maybe Ken had offered her some sort of bonus if she could get his son to ditch the boyfriend.

  My thumb hovered over his number on my favorites. I didn’t want to make the call, but I was in a much better frame of mind and in a public place. Keeping this as civil as possible would help me to find closure. Knowing I had Trent on my side was an immense source of comfort.

  I pressed my thumb on his number and waited, holding my breath. When Cole finally answered, I sucked in a lungful of air. “You rang?”

  “Why have you waited so long to return my calls?” Cole demanded angrily. “I’ve left you several messages.”

  “I had to buy a new phone. The old one ran into a wall.”

  “Temper, temper….”

  “Fuck off, Cole. What do you want?”

  “I need to explain.”

  “What’s to explain? You fucked her, and it’s over between us.”

  “It just happened, Sloan.”

  “What? Your dick flew into her cunt by accident?”

  “Goddammit, Sloan! You make everything so ugly.”

  “Cheating is fucking ugly,” I said, shaking with anger.

  Several people glanced in my direction, and I willed myself to calm down. It was difficult, because Cole had a way of pressing every damn button in my body. I still loved him, unfortunately. No amount of hot sex with Trent was going to make my feelings disappear. Not in the foreseeable future.

  “What happened with Noriko was unexpected. I didn’t think I’d be attracted to a woman again. You know it’s you I love.”

  “Your meaning of love and mine differ considerably. I never cheated on you, Cole. Despite all your doubts, I was faithful.”

  “Was?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business anymore, but my unblemished record has been broken.”

  “You sure rebounded quickly.”

  “Don’t forget who started this, Cole.”

  “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Newsflash, Shogun. Shooting me would have been less painful. Were the last years of our life so abho
rrent?”

  “No, they were the best. I love you, Sloan, and I always will.”

  “Then why did you and your father concoct this monstrous lie? I would have listened with an open mind if you had been honest from the first.”

  “Even under the best circumstances, our relationship would have changed with the advent of children.”

  “You’re assuming the worst. Not once have you given me the benefit of the doubt. You’re so fucking sure I’ll be a miserable father, you won’t even give me a chance. Your plan to have me adopt after two years was all bullshit, wasn’t it? You never had any intention of letting me be a part of this.”

  “Your reaction to Noriko sort of threw everything off balance.”

  “Was I supposed to get a hard-on like you? Expecting me to willingly embrace an intrusion I neither sought nor condoned was delusional on your part. Even the lowest animal form will fight to protect its own.”

  “You’re such a drama queen.”

  “I prefer to think of myself as brutally honest, but it’s far better than lying to the one person who you purported to love more than anything in the world.”

  “I still love you, but we’re in a different place right now.”

  “This conversation is pointless. All you’re doing is making me feel worse.”

  “It was never my intention to hurt you. Will you ever forgive me?”

  “I doubt it. When I get back to New York, I’ll stop by the apartment to pack my things, but I’ll call first. I don’t want to see either one of you. I’ll leave my keys on your desk when I’m done.”

  “Can’t we still be friends?”

  “Not with her in the picture.”

  “Sloan….”

  I knew he was crying, but so was I. I got up and walked out of the door and headed toward the hotel. I must have been quite the sight with my phone pressed up to one ear and the tears streaming down my face. Talk about drama. If anyone caught me in the act, I’d be trending on social media. “I have to hang up now.”

  “Please,” Cole begged. “Don’t shut me out.”

  “This was your move, Shogun, not mine.”

  “Be reasonable.”

  “Goodbye.”

  Chapter 27

  When I got back to the hotel, I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably. My determination to never shed another tear over Cole was shot to hell by our conversation and the anguish in his voice. How could he feel so much remorse yet turn around and proceed with his stupid plan? I didn’t understand and probably never would. Maybe Cole felt I was damaged and didn’t want me around his children. Did he plan to get rid of me before his father even mentioned Noriko? The logical voice in my head kept telling me to stop speculating.

  Cole had been contradicting himself from the beginning of this crisis. Asking me to stay and be a part of his life and then, in the same breath, pushing me away. Trent was probably right about Cole’s need for supremacy. It’s much easier to feel like the head of the household when you’re partnered with someone who has no career, no money, and basically no life other than the one you would provide. Noriko was his to do with as he pleased, while her sole purpose was to procreate and make him happy. I assumed it was part of being a successful geisha. Pleasing the clientele regardless of anyone else’s feelings, including your own.

  I don’t even know why I was thinking of her. A quick glance at the clock on the nightstand spurred me into action. The photo shoot was probably over, and they would be showing up any second now. I didn’t want Trent to find me in the midst of another meltdown. I was determined to stop acting like a rejected wife.

  In the bathroom, my eyes automatically drifted to the shaving kit. I was sorely tempted, and I even picked up the blade and studied it again, but I fought the urge and put it back down. My altered state of mind helped push away the nagging demon. Two men, Max and Trent, were vying for a place in my bed and my life. They wouldn’t be if I were the big loser I kept seeing in the mirror. I had to keep telling myself I was desirable and much in demand. My eyes were red-rimmed from weeping, but behind the tears were features that had made a ton of money for several people.

  A quick shave and shower helped to clear my head, and I was more than presentable by the time Tin walked in with Trent close on his heels. My handsome fake redhead gathered me in his arms and planted a hungry kiss, ignoring Tin’s wolf whistles and vulgar asides. I was too caught up in the moment to really care about my best friend’s opinion of me.

  “You’ve been crying,” Trent whispered, astute as ever.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Let me take you out for dinner.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  He left to get ready. One second after the door closed, Tin was on me like rubber on tires. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “You’ve slept with him?” He was dumbfounded. In all the years we’d known each other, and despite his cajoling, Tin had never been successful in getting me to have extracurricular activities with a fellow model. This was a first, and it was a big fucking deal. “Mon dieu! It really is over with you and Cole.”

  “Duh….”

  “Tell me all about it.”

  “Maybe later,” I said, pulling away. “I need to go and talk to Max.”

  “La! He will be furious.”

  “I know.”

  “Good luck, chéri.”

  “Tell Trent to wait for me right here, okay?”

  “Oui.”

  I made my way upstairs to Max’s suite. I wasn’t surprised when he frowned the minute he laid eyes on me. “What do you want?”

  “To talk.”

  “What about?”

  “You know damned well what this is about.”

  He turned abruptly, and I followed him into the luxurious sitting room. He’d already poured himself a drink. “Do you want some wine or something?”

  I shook my head. “I’m going to dinner shortly.”

  “With him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have any idea what you’re getting into?” Max turned on me suddenly. His pent-up fury burst like an infected boil. “Trent isn’t going to get down on his knees and propose marriage. He’s looking for someone who’s compatible with his nature, a submissive, Sloan. You’ve said repeatedly that you’re not interested in our lifestyle. What makes you think Trent wants a vanilla relationship?

  “I’m not expecting anything from him, Max, other than what I’m getting at the moment.”

  “Don’t delude yourself into thinking he’s soft. He’s courting you and will do and say anything to get you into his bed.”

  “He’s already had me, Max. More than once, and I don’t see him morphing into the Marquis de Sade.”

  “Give him time and his true colors will emerge.”

  “Maybe, but for now, he’s keeping me sane.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Max had no idea Cole was sleeping with Noriko or that I had succumbed to my old form of pain management.

  “Cole and I broke up for good. There’s no hope for reconciliation.”

  “When?”

  “Last night. He’s had sex with Noriko.”

  “Bastard! And then you turned right around and fucked Trent?” Max turned purple and looked like he was about to have a stroke.

  “Yes.”

  “Why him?” he shouted.

  “Instead of you?”

  His anger was a little over the top, considering he wasn’t even my partner, but I knew he’d never stopped hoping. My question was a slap in his face.

  “Why choose a complete stranger when I’ve loved you for years?”

  I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know, Max. Why is anyone attracted to another human being? It’s not like you’re much different. We’re comparing oranges and oranges.”

  “I’m nothing like Trent.”

  “Inside you are.”

  Max frowned. “We’re alike?”

/>   “You both make me feel safe.”

  He sank down on the sofa, looking utterly defeated. “Sloan….”

  I knelt in front of him and rested my head on his knees. He toyed with my hair and then caressed my cheek. “Darling, I would do anything to make you happy.”

  “I know, Max. I would give my right nut to love you the way you deserve, but I don’t. And didn’t you advise me to go ahead and sleep with Trent when we were in Montauk? To explore my limits before I made a decision about Cole and children?”

  “I never thought you’d do it,” Max blurted. “All these years, you’ve never looked at anyone else.”

  I saw him struggling for control. The different emotions were warring with each other, and I prayed for his common sense, and not his ego, to win the battle. This would be the second time I’d rejected him. Even the most confident Dom would have a hard time dealing with my unfiltered truth. Yet, I needed him to be my friend and continue on as my mentor. Max was the only constant in this ever-changing scenario, and I didn’t want to lose him along with Cole.

  He cuffed me on the head with a light hand. “Stupid boy.”

  “Max?” My eyes stung, and his familiar brown orbs were brimming with emotion.

  “Come here, darling.”

  I slid into his embrace, nurtured by his forgiveness. He was a mensch in the true sense of the word, and I loved him for it. My father had always been a kind person, but he never understood me the way Max did. The relief flowed through me like a drug. I relaxed against his chest and let him hold me close.

  “Are you sure you can deal with Trent? He’s no pushover.”

  “I honestly don’t know where this is going, Max. All I can tell you is that he makes me want to go on living.”

  “He likes to play rough.”