Because of You (Swanson Court Series Book 5)

by Serena Grey

  I keep my arms around him, happy, languid, and too satisfied for words.

  “You okay?” He tilts his head back to look at me.

  “Better than okay.”

  He laughs, and he has never looked more beautiful to me.

  “We have a party to attend,” he says, making no move to pull away from me. “People to talk to.”

  I smile. “I know.”

  “My brother is around here somewhere, with his girlfriend. I should go say hello.”

  “I’ll get ready for the party.”

  We’re still holding on to each other, and he lowers his head and kisses me. “I’m crazy about you, Liz McKay. What have you done to me?”

  “I bewitched you.”

  “I can believe that.” He laughs and steps back, his hands lingering on my shoulders for just a moment before he bends to retrieve my robe from the floor, then starts to fix his clothes. “I’ll see you at the party?”

  I nod. “Yes.”

  “And after?”

  I hold my breath. “After?”

  He grips my face and kisses me again. “I’ll tell the world that you’re mine.”

  I kiss him back, loving him so much in that moment that I can hardly bear it… “Yours, Aidan. Always.”

  Present

  Chapter Sixteen

  Liz

  I stand frozen as Aidan walks past me, willing myself not to turn around and watch him go. My heart is pounding in my chest, my blood rushing. Everything in me strains to follow him, to plead, to beg, to share the same space with him for a little while longer.

  The temporary lull in conversation disappears after he leaves, followed by a buzz as people start to talk, probably about the fact that Aidan Court just snubbed me in front of the whole of New York’s theatre crowd.

  My face tightens in embarrassment, and I take a deep breath and try to smile. The bar is right in front of me and standing not far away is Celeste Granger, the hostess, gorgeous in a shimmering dress. Some guy is hovering close to her, trying to get her interested in whatever he is saying, but her eyes are on me, with a mocking half-smile dancing on her full red lips.

  I return her smile and join her where she’s standing, not because I want to, but because some survival instinct demands that I pretend that I’d been on my way over to speak to her and not the man who walked past me like I was invisible.

  “Hello, Celeste. Great party.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “You’re a good actress, Liz. I’ll give you that. I can hardly tell that Aidan Court just walked out on you.”

  I shrug, ignoring the aching clump of emotions in my chest area. “Maybe he had somewhere more interesting to be.”

  The dig at her party makes her chuckle, and it makes me feel like an immature brat.

  “Don’t be mean,” she purrs. “I was only complimenting your acting skills. You’ll need them now that you’re coming back to the stage, though…” A photographer approaches to take our picture, and she gives him a brilliant smile. “…if Aidan’s reaction to finding out that you’re in his play is any indication, you’ll need more than acting skills.”

  With that, she abandons me. Deflated, I watch the back of her head as she walks away. A uniformed waiter passes with a tray of fluted glasses and I help myself to some champagne. Someone waves at me and I wave back. Someone I don’t recognize approaches me and tells me how happy he is to see me again. Soon others join him, and I’m surrounded by people who know me, people hanging on to my every word.

  And yet I can’t stop thinking about Aidan.

  I want to leave. Why had I agreed to come here in the first place?

  Because you wanted a chance to run into Aidan. You wanted it to be oh so casual, like you haven’t been yearning for him for seven years.

  Except it hadn’t turned out the way I’d expected.

  What did I think would happen? That he’d talk to me? Act as if the past didn’t matter for the sake of the people around? Of course, he wouldn’t. Aidan has never cared about other people’s opinions. He’d never pretend for the sake of spectators.

  After draining my glass, I signal a waiter for another. At this rate, I’ll be drunk before the evening ends. Well, if I’m going to stay here and try to save face after that snub from Aidan, I might as well enjoy it.

  Did LKay just take a massive L?

  What would you give for a chance to talk to sexy mega-star Liz McKay? Well, some people would give no fucks, apparently. Spotted last night: Liz McKay getting the cold shoulder from award-winning director Aidan Court. Gossip says they have a history. Darling Liz once dumped Aidan. So, did she deserve to be snubbed? Tell us in the poll and in the comments.

  “A poll! For heaven sakes.” I sigh. “That’s from Celeb Observer. Have you seen it?”

  “I have,” Jenny replies coolly. My phone is on speaker so I can scroll through the morning gossip while venting to her. “I don’t know why you bother. It’s just the stupid gossip rags. I only read them because I have a web alert for your name. It’s not a big deal. You shouldn’t care.”

  “I care because it’s Aidan.” My shoulders slump. “If it becomes a thing, he’ll hate the extra publicity.”

  “But…it will be good for the play, won’t it?”

  “If there’s still a play after Aidan raises hell for having to work with me. Judging by his reaction yesterday, he can’t even stand to be in the same room.”

  “I’m sorry.” There’s a pause. “Would it help if I said he’s an ogre who has no idea how perfect you are and how dare he presume to hate you for dumping his ass when he should be overcome with gratitude that you ever looked at him in the first place?”

  I can’t help chuckling. “He’s not an ogre. Unless ogres are hot, talented…” I sigh. “…and sexy.”

  “You still like him!”

  I don’t reply. How do I explain that I more than like him, even after spending seven years apart?

  When I don’t respond, Jenny sighs. “Well, if you do get to work with him again, the best it can be is awkward.”

  “And the worst?”

  “Unbearable.”

  That’s not helpful at all.

  Moments later, the black SUV stops in front of a glass fronted building with a coffee shop and a jewelry store facing the street on the ground floor. I slip on my sunglasses and step out of the car, simply dressed in a burgundy jersey dress belted at the waist, paired with strappy heels. There are only a few people on the sidewalk, so I’m not very concerned about being recognized.

  Still, a guy on the sidewalk does a double take when he sees my face. My friendly wave prompts a slack-jawed smile from him, and I hurry into the building before anyone else recognizes me.

  The McKay Theater company is on the sixth floor. Inside, it’s all glass partitions and blue-gray carpets. There has been a change in interior decoration since my father used to run the place—then, it was mahogany, leather and thick rugs. Natalia may have kept the name of the company, but she is making changes.

  The receptionist gives me a dazzled smile “Liz McKay!” she squeaks. “I’m sorry…I mean…Good afternoon, Ms. McKay.”

  Her name is on her nameplate. “Hello, Daisy.”

  Her smile widens and just then, another girl in a colorful jumpsuit and spiked hair steps into the reception through a glass door. “Liz McKay. Welcome.” She says my name like a solemn announcement, then leads me inside the main office. “Natalia is in an impromptu meeting right now. So, if you’d like to wait…” She gestures to a pair of armchairs, but I’ve already heard the raised voice coming from inside Natalia’s office, familiar, achingly familiar, and obviously furious.

  “Who is she meeting with?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.

  The girl manages to grimace and look dreamy at the same time. “Aidan Court, the director.”

  I hear his voice again, carrying through the opaque glass wall of Natalia’s office. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I can feel the anger in his tone. It’s gr
ating that the thought of working with me is so distasteful to him, but I understand why he feels that way.

  But maybe I can change his mind.

  Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders and smile at my escort. “I’ll join them,” I announce, ignoring the look of alarm that springs onto her face. I walk past her and push open the door to Natalia’s office.

  “…I don’t give a damn if her name sells millions of tickets. I will not work with her. It’s disgusting that you’re trying to arm-twist me into this. Frankly, I expected better of you.”

  “Aidan…” Natalia’s sigh is a mixture of exasperation and patience. “Let’s be reasonable…”

  He stops pacing. “Fuck reasonable,” he mutters, running a hand through his already tousled hair.

  I linger at the door, frozen by the palpable waves of annoyance emanating from him. Natalia gives me an apologetic smile and I smile back. She’s an attractive woman in her forties with copper hair in a short bob and creamy pale skin. She’s also one of the toughest women I know. Whatever she has decided about the play, I know she won’t back down. Not for Aidan, and not for anybody else.

  Aidan follows Natalia’s gaze, slowly turning to face me. I lift my chin as our eyes meet, and yet…the force of his gaze almost kicks me off balance. For a moment, we stare at each other, his deep blue eyes as cold as glaciers. My heart contracts and starts to ache all over again.

  “Of course,” he sneers, his voice dripping venom. “Of course, she’s here.”

  I ignore his tone. “Hello, Aidan.”

  The flinch is barely perceptible, but it’s there. His body goes rigid and his jaw hardens. As if the sound of his name on my lips is something he can’t stand.

  “Aidan…” Natalia’s tone is measured. “Think about the play…the potential, the publicity...”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he explodes, leaving me weak as his gaze leaves me. His voice is full of anger, yet it remains deep and measured. “Fuck the potential and fuck the publicity. I couldn’t care less. Get yourself a new lead, Natalia, or get yourself another director.” He spares me another withering glance before he stalks out of the office.

  The door shuts behind him and Natalia sighs, lifting two manicured fingers to her temples. “Bloody hell! Why do I always get these difficult projects?” she groans. “I have to deal with investors, with the unions, the theatre board trying to shaft us, and now an irate director.” She narrows her eyes at me. “What are you doing here?”

  “I had a few questions about the play, about Aidan.” I approach her desk and lower myself into a chair across from her. “I guess I should have called ahead.”

  “You should have, then maybe, without your appearance here to set him off, I might have convinced him that your presence in the play wouldn’t be a disaster, but you had to come here and start that…je ne sais quoi that happens whenever you two are in a room together. Seven years and it’s still the same. Who would have thought?”

  I close my eyes, remembering the desire, uncertainty and desperation combined to create something I still can’t explain, something that other people can sense whenever Aidan and I are together. “What happens if he pulls out?”

  “A lot of paperwork. A long delay. He could sue us for whatever. Then we’d counter-sue. We could have a hard time getting a new director. Unhappy investors, loss of funding. It could become a disaster, and I don’t need that. I haven’t been in charge long enough to afford mistakes like that.”

  I know what she means. Theatre is art, but it’s also a business, and nobody wants to spend their money and end up without the bragging rights of associating their name with a good play.

  “What can I do?” I need to do this play. It’s the only plausible answer to the questions people are asking about the reason for my extended stay in New York after pulling out of a big movie project. It’s also the only opportunity I can see to get Aidan to listen to me, so we can confront what happened between us in the past.

  But I don’t want to cost Natalia her play. “I can pull out, if that will solve anything.”

  “Of course not.” Natalia gives me an amused glance. “Don’t undersell yourself, Liz. You aren’t less valuable to me than Aidan is. The backers are already orgasmic about having you on the project. You know your name will sell tickets like nothing else will. And given your history with Aidan, the publicity will create itself.” She gave me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry if that sounded tasteless, or predatory. I’m just being candid.”

  “It’s okay.”

  She taps a finger on her desk. “I just have to convince Aidan that this thing between you two is not as important or insurmountable as he thinks. That this is the perfect opportunity to give it a chance to fizzle out. He’s usually not difficult, you know. Demanding, but not difficult.” She looks at me. “When was the last time you two spoke?”

  “Barring just now?” I shake my head. “Before I left for L.A. that first time.”

  Her eyes widen. “You’re kidding.”

  “I’m not.” I rise from my seat and walk to one of the walls, where framed pictures document Natalia’s journey in theatre. “Why don’t I reach out to him? Maybe I can convince him.”

  She gives me a look that states how little she thinks of my chances. “You can try,” she says with a shrug. “What can it hurt?”

  What can it hurt indeed?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Aidan

  Hello Aidan.

  Hello Aidan!

  The words mock me as I stride out of the building, desperate to get as far away from her as possible.

  Hello Aidan.

  As if mere words can breach the gulf between us. As if any rules of social interaction can ever form a bridge across which we can communicate and exchange meaningless pleasantries like the past never happened.

  I can still see her standing there just inside Natalia’s office. Hesitant, as if she needed my permission to advance. I can still hear the softness in her voice, the luminous imploration in her eyes. One look at her and I was a slave to my emotions again, with no idea what I wanted most, to wrap my hands around that tiny waist, crush her body beneath mine and fuck her till my ears filled with the familiar sound of her moans.

  Or to beg her to explain, to make me understand why she walked away, why she had no qualms about moving on when I still felt like a crippled shadow of the man I’d been when we were together.

  I still want her. That undeniable realization, that all the feelings I’ve suppressed and ignored for the past seven years have just been hiding beneath the surface, waiting for her to return…it enrages me.

  How dare she?

  How dare she waltz back into my life and act as if the past doesn’t matter, as if we can just be friends? It leaves a taste like dust in my mouth. I’d rather live without directing another play for the rest of my life than pretend that she deserves anything but contempt from me.

  Outside the building, I notice up to three people with cameras standing on the opposite sidewalk, and I mutter a curse under my breath. Of course, it was only a matter of time before the paps started following her around the city, hoping to capture images to satisfy her hungry public.

  I wonder if she knows they’re outside, if she knows to leave through one of the fire exits, to avoid them…

  I stop my thoughts. Why do I care if the paparazzi mob her or not? Her problems are none of my business.

  She is none of my business.

  And I have no intention of working under her celebrity brand. For this play, there would always be another chance, another revival.

  One without Liz McKay.

  “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

  I keep walking, tempted to go over to my brother’s apartment at the Swanson Court and spill my frustrations to Landon, or Rachel. Seven years ago, they nursed me through the lowest period of my life. One day, I thought I’d found the love of my life, and the next, she was already on the other sid
e of the country when I learned from an ecstatic press that she had left our play, was signed on to do a series of movies, and was already romantically linked with her future co-star.

  Even the memories are painful. To avoid them, I spend the next hour punching a bag at the gym, not stopping until every muscle in my body is exhausted and I’m too tired to think.

  After a quick shower, I head to my apartment, craving sleep. In the lobby, the doorman sees me and rises from behind the large reception desk, smiling like a man with a secret.

  “Hey, Aidan.” He rounds the desk, heading straight for me.

  “What’s up, Ted?” I return his smile. “Do I have a delivery?”

  “No, but you have a visitor.”

  My exhaustion disappears and I tense. “Who is it?”

  “I thought it wouldn’t be discreet to keep her waiting down here. I didn’t want people talking. We don’t get movie stars here every day, so I let her into your apartment.” He pauses, eyes shining, grinning as if he expects me to be as delighted as he is. “She said her name was Elizabeth Bennet. Must have been a joke, right? Because even a dead man would recognize Liz McKay.”

  “Right,” I mutter, too angry to give him the lecture he deserves. “She’s in my apartment?”

  He nods happily, still drunk on her stardust.

  I’m tempted to walk right out of the building and disappear for a few days. Let her have my apartment. Let her have the whole city. I’ll leave and find my peace some place she’ll never find me.

  What the fuck does she want?

  What does she want from me?

  I head for the elevator, ignoring a wink from Ted. I’ll deal with him later. On my floor, I let myself into the apartment. At first glance, it looks empty. There’s nothing to show that anyone else has been inside, but I know she’s here. I can feel her presence like a crackle in the air, like a soft breath on my skin. She has disturbed the fabric of my home, just like she disturbed the fabric of my soul.