Heavy Hogs MC

by Elias Taylor

  “If it’s like that, then go ahead and leave.”

  I glanced back at Carter. He just sat at the table, not moving to stop me. “Oh, I plan to.”

  On the way home, I gripped the steering wheel as tight as I could. Just when I got my hopes up that we were building a solid foundation, something came along to show us how far off track we were.

  I pulled into my driveway. Maybe Carter might not be the guy for me, even though I would be raising the child alone. Was it worth it? Did I really need him in my life? I thought about the patterns of my life and all of the men I never loved. My heart never really let me feel anything for them. This time, my heart was wide open, and now I knew why I left it closed. It hurt like hell.

  I was doing too much thinking. I shut my phone off for the night. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and not have Carter calling and causing my blood pressure to go up. I warmed myself up under the shower and turned in for the night. I would sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning.

  I woke up in a sweat. A sharp, searing pain ripped straight across the top of my stomach, and it reached the pinnacle near my pelvis. I breathed deeply. I was freaking out. Please, no, don’t let me lose my baby. Please.

  I waited and inhaled deeply like I learned at prenatal class. I breathed out. It passed. Two minutes later, the same acute pain pulsated through my stomach. It felt like a sharp knife was being dug into it and twisted for extra measure. I clambered to reach for my phone, fingers trembling. I needed Carter. Please be awake. Come on, Carter.

  “This is Carter from Custom Made. I’m not available right now but leave a name and number, and I’ll get back to you,” his voicemail said.

  I yelped in pain. Shit. I needed Carter, and I was terrified. What could I do? I had no choice but to call Phoebe.

  “Feebs.” I could barely move, let alone breathe. I heard her move around and yawn.

  “That you, Autumn?”

  “Phoebe. Can you come get me? I need to go to the hospital.”

  “What the fuck?” Rustling noises and movements were going on in the background.

  “I’m...I’m having some stomach pains. I need you.” I managed to huff out as I worked on controlling my breathing. The pain was so bad that I thought I was going to pass out.

  “Hang on, Autumn. I’m coming now.”

  “Thank you.” I put the phone down and waited. What a fucking mess. I couldn’t believe Carter did that. His phone was off. So nuts. Why would he do that? I was pregnant, and he just turned his phone off like that?

  Ten minutes later, Phoebe showed up. I had to pace myself to get to the door. I opened it slowly.

  “Autumn. What’s going on? Do we need to go now? Are you bleeding?”

  My body and mind were not in sync. My head spun, and I wanted to sink to the floor. I wanted to calm down, but my body had gone into overdrive, and anxiety had me in its grip.

  “Phoebe. I’m scared. I haven’t heard from Carter. His phone went to voicemail. I’m having these sharp pains.” I started crying. I was almost in hysterics. “Phoebe, I don’t want to lose my baby.”

  She grabbed me by the arm and helped me sit down. She squatted down in front of me. “Autumn, look at me.”

  “Okay.” My hands were shaking like leaves.

  “You’re not going to lose your baby. There’s a reason for this. Let’s just get you to the hospital so that you can get checked out.” Her voice was soothing. This was why Phoebe was my best friend. She never failed to come through in a crunch. She helped me pull myself back together.

  I half hoped that Carter would see his phone and call me back, but that didn’t happen. I was utterly distraught by the time we arrived at the nearby hospital. They checked me in, and now, the only thing I could do was wait. I was starting to question if Carter was father material.

  Chapter Twenty-One: Technology Counts

  I’d had another fight with Autumn. It seemed like we’d been doing a lot of that lately. I wanted it to stop. I didn’t know if we were fighting because she was hormonal or not. I really wanted to do right by her. I thought I might give it a night. I wanted to come to her like a man with a solution. I didn’t have the faintest idea of how to make a relationship with Autumn work.

  The Cali sun found its way into my house again, waking me up. I blindly reached for my phone. No bars and the damn thing still wasn’t charging properly. As soon as I charged it, the battery ran dead. I didn’t know how many times I said I was getting a new phone, but I didn’t see the point, especially since it started working again recently. I put it on the charger, moped to the kitchen, and made myself an omelet. I missed making breakfast for my girl. She loved my omelettes. I prepped everything, and instinct told me to check my phone.

  I had a voicemail from Autumn. I had to go and pick her up. I knew we’d had a blowup, but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t work out.

  “Carter, you failed me again!” she yelled over the voicemail. “You’re an asshole. You left me. You’re a fucking asshole. It’s over, Carter.”

  Wait. What? She was leaving me over the argument we just had? Hormones had her twisted. That’s what I wanted to blame it on, anyway. Dazed, I jumped on the bike to go sort it out. I wanted her not to worry so much. I went to her house, and her car was parked in the drive. Maybe she slept in.

  Knocking on the door, I yelled, “Autumn! Are you in there?”

  I peeped through the window. This had become a habit that I didn’t like. I knocked again. I wondered if we were going to make it. We had so many issues to solve. I got on the bike and went to her parents’ place. Autumn loved going there. I got along with them both, especially her father, who was my type of guy. Embarrassed, I knocked on their door. Garrett answered with a perplexed face.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Uh.” I rubbed my head. “I thought Autumn might be here.”

  “She might not be here, but you should come in, son.” He gave me a stern look. Garrett ushered me in the door.

  “Would you like a coffee or cup of tea?” Garrett possessed this gentlemanly way that kept my nerves from fraying and breaking into loose threads. I sat down on the couch.

  “No coffee. Just a glass of water is fine.”

  “Okay, be right back.” Garrett came back with two glasses of water. He eased himself into his chair.

  “I presume since you’re here that you don’t know what happened?”

  Dumbfounded, I asked, “What happened?”

  Garrett leaned forward in his chair. “Autumn had some stomach pains and panicked. Phoebe took her to the hospital early this morning.”

  I jumped up. “Shit! That’s why she left that voicemail. I’ve got to go to her.”

  Garrett signaled for me to sit down. “I suggest you take a seat. I know my daughter. You need to let this cool off for a minute.”

  I got up and paced. Garrett watched but didn’t say anything.

  “Okay. I just need her to know I’m here for her. Is she okay? Is the baby okay?”

  “I assure you, she’s safe and in good hands. She had a case of Braxton Hicks. Common during pregnancy. She’s in good health, and your baby is fine. Were you not together? What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  Garrett picked up his water. He might be able to tell me how to handle the situation, man to man. “We had a fight. I’m having some trouble.” I put both my hands behind my head. Man, what a mess. Maybe I wasn’t good enough for Autumn.

  “Go on,” Garrett persuaded.

  “I’m not doing so well, financially. The garage is struggling, and I’m trying to work things out. I always do. I didn’t tell Autumn. She thought I was trying to keep secrets from her.”

  “Are you?” Garrett enquired.

  “No. I wanted her to stay sane. I didn’t want her stressing out. She missed what I was trying to do. She’s headstrong, your daughter. Doesn’t listen to me sometimes.”

  Garrett threw his head back in laughter, a twinkle in his eye. He nodded in ag
reement. “That she is. Don’t worry, she’ll come around. We’ve all been there. Welcome to the club of women-are-always-right.”

  I felt my concerns lessen. “You got that right. I’m a student, but I’m learning quickly.”

  He gave me a friendly pat. “Good job. This is why I play golf.”

  We laughed easily together.

  “I have to get my phone fixed. I missed that call because my phone doesn’t charge properly. It’s gotten me in trouble with Autumn more than once. It’s cursed.”

  “You might want to get a new one pretty quickly. Autumn’s pregnant, and she’s going to need you to be there.”

  I nodded my head. “Yep. You’re right, and I want to be right there for her.”

  “Don’t stress. Autumn will come around. You can bet on it.”

  I lifted my head. I wasn’t so sure. This might have been the nail in the coffin.

  Chapter Twenty-Two: Stalling

  I looked around at all the white of the hospital, patting my pillow a few times. I shifted around, trying to get comfortable. I wished for my bed. A kind-faced nurse came in to check the baby and show me what I was looking at. My mother stood at the bed head, holding my hand.

  “Everything will be all right, sweety. I’m here.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I leaned on her hand.

  “I don’t want to know the sex yet. Please don’t tell me.” I put up my hand and faced away from the screen. The nurse moved closer and into position.

  “That’s okay. I won’t tell you, but depending on what you see on the screen, you may see it yourself.

  The coldness of the slippery gel that she blobbed on my stomach made me slightly ticklish. The kind-faced nurse smiled while looking at the ultrasound machine. It showed what the baby was up to inside my belly.

  “Would you look at that?” my mom cooed.

  My eyes misted over with disappointment. If Carter were here, he would have seen the sonogram. I wanted to stay focused on my health and the baby’s. From the beginning of our relationship, Carter and I experienced nothing but trouble. I adjusted positions as the nurse moved the cold steel over my belly.

  “You can see the head right there.” She pointed a gloved hand to the screen. “And the feet here.”

  “Wow!” I let the tears stream down my face—five fingers and toes were on the screen. My very own bundle of joy. I wiped away tears of joy with the back of my hand. “Thank you. Am I still on track to leave tomorrow? I’ve been in here a week too long.”

  “Autumn, you’re going to be a wonderful mother. I just know it,” my mother said proudly.

  The nursed pursed her lips together. “So long as your vitals remain stable and vitamins for your iron deficiency are taken, you will be fine to leave.

  “Do you think I will have those contractions again?”

  The nurse scribbled lightly on her notepad and added to the clipboard file at the end of my bed. “The Braxton Hicks, you mean?”

  “Yes, those wretched things. I never want that to happen again.” I exclaimed.

  “They are common. You are carrying a baby that’s a little bigger. I would advise bed rest in the last trimester to prepare for childbirth.”

  I felt uncomfortable, and my lower back had a dull ache in it all the time. The only thing that relieved it was lying on my side with a pillow. “Okay. Thank you.”

  Alone later in my room, anxiety gripped my chest as I wondered what the hell I was going to do without Carter. I wanted to cry so many times, but the tears wouldn’t come. Fear brewed in my mind and made me aggravated. All the back and forth made me feel like a ping-pong ball. I reached over to my bedside table to check my phone. I had five missed calls from Carter. It just made me even more distressed. My bestie was due any minute now, and maybe she could give me an outside perspective. My parents both said the same thing.

  My father’s words rang in my ear as I spoke with him on the phone.

  “Sweety, give him a chance. He’s trying really hard, and he wants to marry you. Don’t let a little thing like money get in the way. It comes, and it goes.”

  My father was too compassionate sometimes. Though I wanted him to be on my side, it just made me grumpier at him for saying that.

  “Daddy, you’re supposed to be on my side. Stop pitching for the other team!”

  “Honey, I am, trust me. Besides, there is no other team than the love team.”

  “Ugh. You’re killing me.” I felt like the Grinch except it wasn’t Christmas.

  “Darling, do what’s best for you and follow that. Who am I to tell you?”

  “Daddy, I’m so scared. What am I going to do? I can’t be a single mother. I wanted a family like what I grew up in. Like what you and Mom built.”

  “And you will have what you want. It will get there. Give everything time, including yourself.”

  “Daddy. I gotta go. I’m going to think about things like you said and try to take it easy.”

  “Good idea. I will talk to you a little later. Bye-bye. Your mother is making muffins, and I have to go steal one. My stomachs rumbling. I swear she’s trying to make me fat in her old age.” My father’s gentle spirit lightened my mood slightly, but only slightly.

  “Bye.” After I dropped the phone from my ear, I went right back to being distressed about my situation. As I continued to worry myself to death about what to do next, Phoebe walked in.

  She did a little sidestepping dance and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I grabbed her around the elbow in a half-hug.

  “Hey, girl. Thanks for coming.”

  “Why so down in the mouth, babe? Have you spoken to you know who?”

  I flashed her a dirty look. She sat in the chair next to my bed. “No.” I chewed my bottom lip and raised myself up.

  “Well, why not? Don’t you think you should talk?” Phoebe asked in a concerned tone. She looked fresh and beautiful.

  “I don’t want to talk to him right now. I don’t know what to do. He lied to me, Phoebe. He didn’t tell me he was in financial trouble. Then, there is the wedding and the new bookstore, and it’s just everything. It’s too much for me.” A single tear rolled down my cheek. Her warm hand touched mine and held it.

  “Hey, best friend.”

  I turned my head to her and breathed. “Yes?”

  “I need you to take a deep breath.” Phoebe sometimes was more the voice of reason to me than I was to her. The tables had turned somehow. “You need to think about it. What was his reason again?”

  “He didn’t want to stress me out with it. He said he’s handling it.”

  Phoebe paused. “And what are you doing right now? Huh?”

  I sighed. “That’s not the point, Phoebe. He should—”

  “Calm down, lady, it’s the hormones fucking with you. At least hear the guy out. It doesn’t sound so bad.”

  I wanted to stay mad at Carter. I’d fixed my brain to the idea, and here came Phoebe with her logical arguments. The truth was I missed Carter making me eggs in the morning and cuddling me at night with those big strong arms wrapped around me.

  “Maybe.” I huffed.

  “Look, I would never want to see you in a bad situation. I just think you should, you know, see what’s up.”

  My head and heart weren’t connected, my head was saying that I could do this baby thing without him, and my heart was saying that I loved him and wanted a family. I didn’t know which one to listen to.

  “When are you getting out of here?” Phoebe pouted. “We all miss you.”

  “I will be back tomorrow. I miss you guys, too. They’re just keeping me overnight as a precaution.” She leaned and kissed me on the forehead.

  “Call him, babe. You love him. I can tell. I’ve never seen you like this with a guy before.” She gently lifted my hand. “And look at this big rock you’ve got on your hand! That’s a guy who is serious.”

  Despite her words, the walls felt like they were caving in on me.

  “Thanks, Feebs.”

  She reposition
ed her bag on her shoulder. “I can’t stay long, but do you want me to pick you up something from the cafeteria?”

  “No. I’m good. I’m not hungry.”

  “Okay. I love you, and sleep on it.”

  “I will.”

  I woke up from a dream of Carter holding our baby with a big smile on his face. It made me sit up abruptly. I checked my phone, and there was a text message from Carter.

  I miss you. Please call me. I want to talk to you.

  Despondency kicked in as I put down the phone. I wanted to leave quickly, and the thought of showering again at the hospital made me sick. I got up, dressed, and waited for the doctor to come around and release me.

  “Miss Bancroft, you’re free to go now. We’ve scheduled you in for another two weeks from today,” she said when she finally came around.

  “Thank you,” I said and got out of the hospital as fast as I could.

  I let the California morning light kiss my skin and drove home, thankful that my dad had dropped off my car with my mom’s help. I opened my arms to my house. I wanted to kiss the ground. I soaked in my own shower for a long time and then made my way to The Red Gorilla.

  The red-toned lights and the smells were annoying to me. Usually, I loved to see them. They reminded me of how far I’d come. Duck waddling at seven months pregnant made me feel out of place, almost no matter where I went.

  Phoebe was behind the bar, setting up. “Hey, mama. How are you feeling? Glad to have you back.”

  “I feel horrible. Can you do me a favor?”

  “Yep. Anything.”

  “Can you make sure that nobody bothers me? I’m going to be in the office, working. If Carter comes, tell him to take a hike.” I snatched a bag of chips from the stand and stormed off.

  “Well, okay then,” Phoebe retorted.

  I went straight to the office and slammed the door. I turned on my computer, and immediately, a knock at the door came.