by J. L. Beck
“Yes… I want this… you, I mean… I want you.” I stutter out, and grip onto the hem of my shirt, trying to build up the courage to pull the thing off and toss it onto the floor.
With a grin, he moves closer, his movements sleek, smooth, like a cat striding through the night. My body is burning up, it feels like I have a fever. I start to lift my shirt up and pause.
“What about Oliver and Banks?” I ask, needing to clear the air before we take another step. I want them as equally as I want Sullivan, but they don’t want me right now, and I need this, the connection to be back in place. I need all of them.
“You want them too, don’t you? You want all three of us.” There’s no judgement in his eyes, no anger. He’s simply speaking the truth.
Releasing my lip from between my teeth I say, “Yes, I do.”
“And you can have them, all of us, but not tonight. Tonight you’re all mine.” His voice is low, seductive. Reaching for me, he brushes some lingering strands of hair from my face, the simple touch sending my already stimulated nerve endings into overdrive.
I consider telling him that I’m a virgin but decide against it. What if he changes his mind because of it? I don’t want to ruin the moment. I’m given little time to dwell on the thought before Sullivan pounces on me. The towel around his waist slips to the floor, and I gasp, just as he takes my cheeks into his hands. He kisses me, gently, but with an underlying hunger that has me eager for more. He kisses me until I’m breathless, until my chest is heaving, and my hands are shaking, until my lips are swollen. Until there is nothing but the two of us.
He only stops kissing me long enough to help me out of my clothes. Dipping his fingers into the waistband of my jeans, he drags them down my legs along with my panties, leaving me bare to him. Slinging them over his shoulder, they land on the floor somewhere behind him. My bra is next to go. He reaches around me and with skillful fingers he is somehow able to undo the clasp. My breasts fall forward without the support of my bra.
With a devilish grin that I feel deep down to my toes he flings the contraption over his shoulder just like he did the rest of my clothing. Then there’s silence as he takes a moment and just looks at me and I do the same in return.
His pupils are dilated, his eyes seem black instead of their normal stormy blue. His chest rises and falls rapidly, and his jaw is set in a hard line. He looks ruggedly handsome. My eyes wander lower, past his well-defined stomach and down the trail of russet brown hair leading me straight to his very erect penis. I gulp, I've seen dicks before, but nothing could prepare me for one that size entering me.
“Scared?” Sullivan asks smugly, stroking the thing leisurely, like he has all the time in the world.
“No.” I shake my head, lying while trying to hide the nervousness from my voice. “I've just never…”
“Been with a guy as big as me?”
Arrogant asshole.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“I’ll go easy on you, Princess.” His wink makes me smile shyly, I can’t help it. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing here. “But first…” He leans over me, his body hovering above mine as he lowers his head to my breast. His hot, wet tongue drags over my swollen nipple before he closes his mouth around the tight peak and starts to suck.
Sweet baby Jesus.
I moan into the room, my hands roaming over Sullivan’s toned back and shoulders, pulling him even closer. Unable to lie still, my body moves like a snake underneath his touch, wiggling restlessly, my back arching off the bed. My body begs for more, it needs more.
He cups my other breast with his warm hand, kneading it, then he starts rolling my nipple between his thumb and index finger just as Banks had done. The sensations spiraling through me are explosive.
“Lie back,” he orders gruffly, and I follow his command without thought or hesitation, coming to rest against his soft sheets. “So fucking pretty,” he murmurs, nudging my legs apart. I can feel his eyes on my flesh. “I’m going to taste you, so be a good girl and stay nice and still. I need you soaked with need before my cock comes anywhere near your pretty pussy.”
I swallow around the lump of fear forming in my throat and nod my head, my hands fisting into the sheets as he situates himself on his belly, spreading my legs wider to accommodate his huge form between my thighs.
He lowers his head, bringing his mouth to my center. I can feel his hot breath on my already slick folds, and I shiver at the onslaught of sensations rippling through me. I’m barely grasping onto reality, hanging on by a thread and then I feel his tongue dragging across my most sensitive parts. It’s a brief touch, a caress, the feeling so foreign, so intense, I can barely handle it. No one has ever done this to me, no one’s ever touched me this way and all I can think is that I want more, need more. Like an addict I’m desperate, willing to sell my soul for my next hit.
My hands leave the sheets and find their way into his thick silky-smooth hair. Threading my fingers through the strands, I rake my nails over his scalp. He releases a throaty moan, the sound vibrating through my core, coaxing a moan past my own lips.
“Ahhhh…”
“You taste exactly like I knew you would. Like strawberries and cream,” his skillful tongue swipes over the sensitive bundle of nerves and my hips lift, a jolt of pleasure rippling up my spine.
“Sullivan,” I whine, wanting more of him, feeling this deep, primal need trying to escape out of me.
“Patience.” He tsks, with a light chuckle before getting back to work on tasting me. Using his fingers to spread my folds and suck on my swollen clit. The need builds, starting from behind my eyes and through every inch of my body, out of reflex I squeeze my thighs together, but Sullivan doesn’t care, he continues to lick and suck as I grow slicker and slicker, my arousal damn near pouring out of me.
When I’m positive things cannot possibly get any better, he slips a finger into my channel, while still keeping pressure against my clit. He pumps in and out of me a few times, before adding a second finger and stretching me deliciously. Thrashing against the pillows, I bite onto my fist to stop myself from screaming out loud as he fingers me, while sucking on my clit with unforgiving need.
A blinding light flashes before my eyes, and my hips rise and fall as an indescribable pleasure lays claim to my soul. Sullivan’s thrusts slow, as I slide down the mountain of pleasure.
“Oh my god,” I whimper when the last ripples of pleasure have run through my body. Sullivan chuckles against the sensitive flesh of my thigh, his breath tickling me.
I don't even want to know how good sex will feel if it feels this amazing and all he did was use his fingers and tongue.
Before I can catch my breath, he starts kissing that same patch of skin and continues moving upwards, peppering open mouth kisses over my thighs, belly, ribs, and all the way back up to my breasts.
By the time he gets to my collarbone I can feel his enormous erection pressing up against my leg, his smooth skin caressing mine as he moves his body between my thighs. I’m panting now, salivating.
He reaches over to the nightstand and opens the drawer, digging around inside it. The break of passion gives me a moment of clarity. What the hell is he doing? A second later he pulls his hand out of the drawer, a small foil package in his hand.
Condom. Oh shit, I almost forgot. Looking down at me with raw need he rips the silver square open with his teeth. Taking the condom out, he reaches between us with one hand. Part of me wants to take a peek and watch him put it on, but I don’t think I can actually tear my eyes away from his. It’s like we are tethered to each other, an invisible hold binding us.
With his hand still between us, I feel him guiding himself to my center, and I spread my legs even further for him. The smooth head bumps against my still sensitive clit and my thighs automatically squeeze together at the sensation.
“Relax,” he whispers into my ear as he starts to rub the head of his cock up and down, through my folds, spreading my juices over his cock be
fore he brings himself back to my entrance.
Holding himself up with one arm his lower body against mine, his hips press into mine like a missing puzzle piece, the head of his cock pressing against my entrance. With a gentleness I didn’t know he could possess he enters me slowly, stretching my walls, making me take all of his thickness.
He lowers his head, nestling his face into the crook of my neck, and I am glad he does, because I don’t know if I could hide the tiny surge of panic and discomfort I’m experiencing right now. Needing to touch him, I grip onto his biceps, my nails sinking into the flesh leaving small half-moon indents behind.
I feel full, so full, and I know he’s only inside a few inches. I gasp as a small sting and a slight burn ripples through my core as his cock breaks through the resistance, taking my virginity. I've given him all my firsts, and my heart. Sullivan must not even notice it, because he just keeps pushing inside of me until there is nowhere else to go, the head of his cock bumping against the back of my channel.
His lower body is now completely pressed to mine, leaving no space between us. With minimal effort he hitches my leg up, and swivels his hips, pressing deeper inside me. My chest heaves up and down, my heart fluttering so hard I’m sure even he can hear it.
“Fuck, this is a tight fit.” Sullivan blows out a heated breath, sweat beading his brow, and I wonder if he's ever done it like this.
Seated deep inside me, he lifts his head his eyes moving from where were connected to look up at me. I can tell by the tension in his muscles that he’s restraining himself. His lips part, and his gaze darkens.
“Do you want me to fuck you hard and fast or slow and gentle?” The edge to his voice, and crudeness of his words scares me a little, but I remind myself that this is Sullivan.
My Sullivan.
“Slow, please,” I answer with a strong voice. With a clenched jaw he pulls all the way out of me, the air rips from my lungs with the sensation, and before I can fill them again, he’s entering me, slowly, so slowly.
“Do you wish it was all three of us doing this with you right now? That we got to take turns with you? Making you come over and over again.”
“Yes,” I answer breathlessly. “I would like that,” I admit shamelessly. Sullivan smiles, his eyes lighting up, as he continues his slow leisurely strokes. Pulling out and pushing back in. In and out. In and out. Eventually the dull ache gives way to red hot pleasure that spreads out through my abdomen like lava erupting down the side of a volcano.
“I always knew it would be this good.” Sullivan grunts, and he looks so beautiful right now, his eyes closed, his body straining above mine. I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life, the one singular moment in history when a Lockwood and a Bishop became one. Because that’s what this is history and we’re going to rewrite it.
“I've got to speed it up, Princess,” Sullivan pants, his hot minty breath fanning against my throbbing pulse. “This slow pace is killing me.”
“Okay,” I give him a little nod and turn, pressing a kiss to his mouth. I drag my tongue across his bottom lip, silently asking for entry.
He opens for me all the way and our tongues meet for a sensual dance while he starts thrusting inside of me, his hips piston upward, going deeper, harder, and faster. His cock rubs against something deep inside me, and I feel the pressure building in my womb. He breaks our kiss and stares down at me, a wealth of knowledge and secrets in his gaze.
“I want you to tell me when you're close,” Sullivan orders, and I nod unable to form a cohesive word.
He changes positions then, pulling away and pressing back onto his knees. He grabs onto my hips pulling me into him and in this position he seems even deeper, like he’s a part of me.
My lips part into the shape of an O. And each time he bottoms out inside me a sliver of pleasure ripples through me. With a feral grin Sullivan places his thumb against my overly sensitive bundle of nerves and with all the sensations overtaking me it doesn't take long for me to reach my peak.
“I'm-I'm...coming,” I gasp, barely getting the words out before my thighs start to quiver and my toes curl. My back arches off the bed, and Sullivan starts to curse as he holds me in place my pussy squeezing his cock with an evil vengeance.
“Fuck me,” his pace grows faster, his grip on my hips harder, his head tipping back as euphoric pleasure overtakes his body. And then I feel his cock pulsing inside me as he lets out a deep animalistic growl before slamming into me one last time.
He collapses on top of me with a huff, his sweat covered body, blanketing mine with warmth and safety. I relish in this moment, having him so close, where no hate, no parents, no drama can reach us. I know the moment can't last forever, but I can hold onto it, keep it close to my heart. He rolls off me a second later, falling to the mattress beside me.
He reaches down and pulls the condom off with a wince, before throwing it into the trash bin next to the bed. I look down at my thighs, hoping that I didn’t bleed onto the sheets.
Not wanting him to stop touching me, I roll over with him, planting my head on his chest and draping my arm over his torso. I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath. With my ear right above his heart, I can hear the steady rhythm clearly, like my own personal lullaby.
As if the sound was just made for me, calming and soothing me, I’m lulled to a deep slumber and for the first time in a long time I’m falling asleep knowing that everything is going to be okay now.
Everything will be fine, as long as I have Sullivan.
Chapter Fifteen
“This feels nice,” I whisper into Sullivan’s skin the next morning. Taking a deep breath, relishing in his scent, I run my fingers over his stomach, tracing each muscle as I go. I’ve been up for ten minutes, which I spent every second of cuddling and touching Sullivan.
He only woke up about five minutes ago and I’m not sure if it’s because of all my touching and teasing or if he is just having morning wood but his cock is hard as steel. A sizable tent forming between his legs. My head would like to repeat what we did yesterday, but the dull ache between my legs says otherwise. So instead of instigating sex, I simply keep running my fingers over his skin.
“Yes, it does feel nice. I wish it was real,” he says almost absentmindedly.
I smile at his words. “Of course this is real, why would you think anything else?” I ask, without looking up.
“I know this isn’t real for you. I know you don’t actually want me.” My hand on his stomach stills. Confused I raise my head so I can see his face. I take in his somber expression wondering why he is suddenly in this mood.
Still smiling, I ask, “If this isn't real for me and I didn’t like you then why would I have given you all my firsts?”
“All your firsts?”
“Yes,” I admit. “I gave you my first kiss, you gave me my first orgasm, and last night I gave you my virginity.”
“Stop, Harlow,” he growls, suddenly pushing me off of him. My mouth pops open and I’m completely dumbfounded by his sudden mood change. “I know…I know this is all a game to you. Do you really think I would believe you? Believe that I was your first kiss? That you were a virgin?” He tips his head, back and chuckles, “I might be stupid, but I know a liar when I see one, and you, Harlow Lockwood, have and always will be one.”
I’m so stunned by this whole situation, that I’m literally speechless. He shakes his head and pushes off the bed. Stomping to his dresser, he pulls out the drawer with such force it almost comes out all the way. He grabs a pair of shorts from within and puts them on, damn near ripping them in the process.
“Sullivan, I’m not lying, last nig…” I say, once I find my voice again. Why does it feel like we’re falling apart?
“You deserve an Oscar, you know?” He cuts me off, whirling around with a coldness in his gaze. “Your acting skills are on point. Maybe you’ll start your acting career with the video I took of us fucking last night.”
The air stills in my lungs, the only soun
d I hear is the thump, thump of my heart. It feels like it’s being ripped in two and at any given second I expect it to stop working. His confession destroys me and shatters my world.
“You… you... filmed us having sex?” I stutter, my hands shaking, tears forming in my eyes instantly.
A smile spreads across his face and even though it seems forced, it wounds me deeply. Disgust and hurt spread through my body and I can’t stop it. I scurry off the bed and gather my clothes from the floor, putting each piece on as I go. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep being their punching bag, reliving a past that I’m so helplessly trying to break free from.
With everything but my jeans on I glance over at Sullivan who just stands there watching me with an unreadable expression.
“You’re right, I am a great actress. So committed to my role, I grew back my hymen for you, to make this more believable,” I spit out, shoving my legs into my pants, I point to my thighs which still have streaks of blood on them. Sullivan follows my gaze, his mouth pops open when he sees the small smudges of blood. “Don’t believe me asshole, check the condom, or maybe think back to the way you fucked me, of how nervous I was,” I pull my pants up the rest of the way and button them.
Sullivan looks like he’s about to say something, but I’m done. I’m not waiting around to hear what it is he has to say. Some lame-ass apology that means nothing. Because I mean nothing to him. To them. I’m so done. Done with the lies. Done with the games. Done with him and his brothers, his family, all of it. Just done!
“Have a nice life,” I murmur on the way out of his bedroom door. Tears escape my eyes as I run through the house.
“Wait,” I hear Sullivan call from upstairs just before I slam the front door behind me.
How could I have been so stupid? I gave myself to him. I loved him, I loved all three of them and all they did was play games. I’m nothing more than a pawn to him and his brothers.
