So I'm a Spider, So What?, Vol. 8

by Okina Baba

  Otherwise, I’m seriously gonna die out here!

  I can hear my teeth chattering.

  “Guh?!”

  Just then, the Demon Lord makes a most unladylike noise.

  I dunno, I don’t think girls are supposed to say “Guh!”

  I create a little opening in the blanket to peek outside.

  Guh?!

  The scene outside is so shocking that I forget about the blast of cold air for a second.

  Monkeys.

  My worst nightmare.

  My deep-seated trauma.

  How could I forget? It’s the same monkeys that once surrounded me and nearly killed me in my weaker days in the Great Elroe Labyrinth’s Lower Stratum!

  If I remember right, they were called “anogratches” or something.

  At some point during our journey, the Demon Lord told me that they’re also known as “revenge monkeys.” If one of their own is killed, they’ll form huge groups to try to get revenge on whoever killed it.

  To make matters worse, once they’ve set their sights on revenge, they won’t give up until their target is dead.

  If you see one, you should never, ever kill one.

  Even if you kill only a single individual, they’ll attack you in swarms.

  Right.

  I did find it strange at the time that they were so determined to kill a single spider, but I guess that’s just their nature.

  Are you kidding me?!

  What kind of crappy game sends a bunch of enemies to attack you but you’re not supposed to kill any of them?

  How terrible do your survival instincts have to be to keep trying to avenge a single individual until every last one of you is dead?!

  And those same monkeys are coming toward us right now.

  Not just one or two, either. They’re coming in droves.

  Um, what’s up with this tidal wave of monkeys?!

  Are you for real?!

  Nobody told me these damn monkeys lived in the Mystic Mountains, too!

  ““““““““““““““““OOK, OOK!””””””””””””””””

  Don’t OOK, OOK me, you stupid monkeys!

  Seriously, why can’t I wake up from this nightmare?!

  Is this because of that stupid ogre, too?!

  Did the whole swarm of monkeys run this way to escape from the battle between the ogre and the ice dragons or something?!

  This ogre sucks!

  “Wha—?! Yeesh!”

  Even the Demon Lord is freaking out at the sight!

  The baby bloodsucker and Mera are totally freezing up.

  Hey, no freezing just ’cause it’s cold out!

  Aside from Ael, the puppet spiders are all in battle-ready positions.

  At least we can count on them in times like this!

  “Oh, this isn’t good. Nope, nope, nope. Here goes nothing!”

  As the sea of monkeys closes in, the Demon Lord starts preparing magic.

  At least, I assume so. Without my skills, I can’t even see the magic the Demon Lord is constructing.

  I can just kinda tell from her pose that that’s what she’s doing, I guess.

  Huh?

  Wait a sec, though.

  Isn’t using magic in this situation, like, a really bad idea?

  “Eat this!”

  I realize this just as the Demon Lord unleashes her spell.

  A torrent of darkness rushes from her hands.

  What is this, an evil kmehameha?

  With the Demon Lord’s crazy stats, the Black Magic causes a huge explosion, sending the giant horde of monkeys flying every which way.

  No matter how strong the monkeys might be, I was able to defeat them one by one even back when I was a total weakling.

  The Demon Lord’s magic wipes them all out in one clean sweep.

  The problem is what happens after that!

  The shock waves from the Demon Lord’s spell spread through the area, causing a certain chain reaction.

  A mass just as big as the swarm of monkeys, or maybe even bigger, bears down on us.

  A mass of what?

  Of snow, duh!

  It’s an avalanche!

  This is weird magic snow that stays soft and fluffy even in temperatures cold enough to freeze my blanket.

  If you cause a big explosion on a mountain covered in that stuff, of course this is gonna happen! Come on!

  Sure, an area-of-effect spell was the only way to get rid of all the oncoming monkeys at once, but now it’s caused a disaster even bigger than that.

  The Demon Lord’s looking at the snow like, Oops, now I’ve done it!

  You sure have, dude. Not that I can blame you for freaking out and reacting poorly with a huge swarm of monkeys coming at us out of nowhere like that!

  The snow closes in on us like a tidal wave.

  “RUN!”

  The Demon Lord’s shout is almost as loud as the deep rumbling of the avalanche.

  At her command, everyone jumps into the air!

  With their leg strength enhanced by stats, the spider crew moves so fast, it’s like they’re flying.

  Then they use Dimensional Maneuvering to keep fleeing through the air.

  The bloodsucker duo jumps up, too, avoiding the avalanche by a hairbreadth.

  Riel and Fiel carry the earth wyrms to safety.

  And I…am falling straight toward the avalanche.

  Oh. Wait. What?

  I’m sailing through the air.

  Ael is a short distance away, holding the carriage.

  Hmm?

  Hmmmm?!

  This is a record-scratch moment if I’ve ever had one.

  Okay. When Ael jumped up, the recoil must’ve sent me flying right out of the carriage.

  Even Ael wouldn’t have the spare brainpower to worry about me at a time like this.

  I get it now. Ha-ha-ha.

  Um, this isn’t funny at all?!

  Jesus Christ!

  Shit, shit, shit!

  At this rate, I’m gonna swan dive right into the snow!

  And since I’m wrapped up in this blanket, I won’t be able to do a damn thing about it!

  Not that I’d be able to do much of anything even if I wasn’t!

  “Sael! Help White, quick!”

  The Demon Lord shouts an order at Sael, the only puppet spider with her hands free.

  Sael, bless her heart, is always quick to act as long as she’s been given orders.

  She reacts immediately, catching me in midair.

  But it’s a second too late!

  Sael grabs me right before I get swallowed up by the avalanche.

  Her hands close around my blanket.

  But then the blanket comes right off with an ominous ripping sound.

  Frozen or not, a blanket is a blanket. It’s not built to support a person’s weight.

  My body falls right into the avalanche, sinking into the snow.

  I reach up instinctively, and by some miracle, Sael grabs my hand!

  But my body’s already being carried away, and the momentum drags Sael right down with me.

  As we’re crushed along in total confusion, Sael manages to drag us back up to where we can see the sky again.

  She must have managed to push back to the surface of the snow somehow.

  My arm is experiencing some distressing pain as I get dragged along, but that doesn’t matter right now.

  “Grab my hand!”

  Speeding toward us, Vampy reaches down from the sky.

  Still being crushed by the snow, I don’t have the strength to reach up.

  Luckily, Sael manages to grab the baby bloodsucker’s hand, and then Mera grabs on as well, trying to pull us up.

  But then—something slams into the baby bloodsucker.

  “Ah?!”

  “Young Miss?!”

  It’s a monkey, carried down toward us by the avalanche, and it’s clinging to the baby bloodsucker!

  Wait, what the hell?!

&
nbsp; Where’d you come from?!

  Why is there another monkey here?!

  The monkey’s tackle sends Vampy’s small frame flying into the snow.

  Taking Sael, Mera, and the stupid monkey right along with her.

  Me? Yeah, me too, of course.

  Damn you, monkeeeey!

  Maybe you were just trying to save yourself from getting swept away, but now we’re all getting swept away, toooo!

  Still grasping one another’s hands, all of us get swallowed up by the avalanche.

  Isn’t the Demon Lord gonna save us?!

  I cast a desperate look up at the sky, and just before the snow covers my vision, I see a vast swarm of monkeys throwing themselves at the Demon Lord.

  Seriously?

  How are there still that many of them?

  And wait, what the hell, monkeys?!

  You’re seriously still trying to get revenge even in the middle of an avalanche?!

  What the hell’s wrong with you?!

  The Demon Lord won’t be able to help us now.

  Just as that realization hits me, the snow swallows up my body completely.

  And as my vision blackens, my consciousness blinks out as well.

  THE OGRE AND THE ICE DRAGON

  Flames course out of the katana in my grip.

  Hellfire that consumes every living thing.

  But right now, it amounts to only a paltry flicker that barely serves to warm my body slightly before fizzling out.

  Instead of the usual blazing fire, my katana is currently engulfed in thick ice.

  “Nngaaah!”

  Nevertheless, I bring the blade down on the giant creature before me.

  A clang echoes, and sharp reverberations run through my hand.

  The blow broke the ice around my blade, but instead of cutting through the enemy, my attack was repelled by the creature’s powerful scales.

  They’re so tough and my movements so dull.

  The bitter cold is slowing me down, making it impossible to use my full strength.

  “How sad. Truly pitiful.”

  The dragon, which hasn’t bothered to dodge my attack, sends a scornful telepathic message.

  Ignoring it, I swing the sword in my other hand.

  The lightning-wreathed blade strikes the scales, scattering purple sparks.

  However, as I feared, it doesn’t leave even a scratch on those diamond-like scales.

  “It won’t work, no matter how many times you try. You may possess rare strength, but you cannot hope to defeat me. I possess incredible toughness, though perhaps not as much as my earth brethren.”

  The dragon speaks in a slow, old-fashioned manner.

  Despite the grand way of speaking, its voice sounds like that of a young woman in my mind.

  This dragon is a female, then.

  The dragon is beautiful, her body cutting an elegant curve, covered entirely in quartz-like scales.

  And she commands ice.

  Her mere presence causes the temperature in the immediate area to drop to freezing cold.

  I coat my sword in fire yet again.

  The flames go out almost immediately, but I have to do this every so often to keep my body from freezing.

  What temperature could this wretched cold possibly be?

  It must be in the negatives; that much is for sure.

  Even Hokkaido in the winter never got cold enough to freeze your body like this.

  I’m constantly buffeted by thick bursts of snow.

  Clinging to my skin, the snow saps away my strength and body heat.

  Since they froze over, wearing clothes actually made the cold worse, so shortly after the battle started, I threw away all but the most crucial coverings.

  From a bystander’s perspective, I’m fighting half-naked.

  It might sound funny, but I’m fighting for my life.

  …Why am I fighting this dragon anyway?

  I don’t know.

  I try to remember, but I can’t think straight, as if the snow has even piled up inside my head.

  I know I was trying to get somewhere.

  But where? I can’t remember.

  I wanted to go somewhere, to go home to a particular place, but I can’t remember where that was.

  All I can do now is try to defeat the enemy in front of me.

  “GRAAAAAH!”

  “Most pitiable, indeed. Is the desire to fight the only thought that remains in your mind?”

  I keep attacking with both my swords.

  My hands are too numb to move properly, and my frozen body is painfully slow.

  With attacks like this, I won’t be able to put a scratch on this dragon’s scales no matter how long I keep at it.

  But as I continue these stubbornly straightforward swings, the dragon finally draws back as if in annoyance.

  “It would be a simple task to slaughter you. I would certainly like to do so, as thanks for laying waste to our mountains. But our lord has ordered us not to lay a hand on you so-called reincarnations, so sadly, I cannot put your mind to rest.”

  The dragon flaps her wings, taking to the air.

  I feel like she’s saying something important, but I just can’t seem to understand.

  I hear its voice, but the meaning of the words doesn’t come through.

  “…Still, if the cold was to finish you off, then that would only be an accident, not any fault of mine.”

  The dragon’s mouth curls slightly.

  I don’t know how to read a dragon’s expression, but she seems smug, almost mischievous.

  That expression basically vanishes immediately, though, leaving only a cold light in the dragon’s eyes.

  It’s a look befitting the ruler of this glacial hell.

  “May you fall to ruin in this frigid land. It would be best for your own sake, as well.”

  Finally, with a pitying glance, the dragon flies away.

  The immediate threat is gone.

  But the blizzard around me doesn’t relent.

  I can feel my life force draining away just by standing in it.

  I have to hurry.

  …But to where?

  I know I was trying to go somewhere.

  Why can’t I remember?

  I know it was a very, very important place.

  But try as I might, I can’t seem to remember.

  I want to remember, yet part of me doesn’t want to at all.

  Because that place doesn’t exist anymore.

  I lost everything.

  My family, my pride, everything.

  I have no right to go back there.

  Not after I ae my own sister…

  “Kill.”

  That voice gave me an order.

  I felt myself squeezing a small, skinny neck.

  “Eat.”

  Another order.

  My fangs tore into skin, and the taste of blood filled my mouth.

  …Did I just start to remember something I shouldn’t have?

  I don’t know.

  Maybe it’s better that way.

  Either way, if I don’t get away from here, I’m going to freeze to death.

  Where should I go?

  As I stand there thinking, I see something go flying into the air from the ground.

  Was it magic?

  Well, I have no other destination.

  Might as well go take a look.

  Forgetting my initial destination entirely, I start walking toward the first thing that catches my eye.

  I’M LOST

  I awaken to the crackling sounds of a fire.

  Good morning.

  “Oh, you’re awake.”

  As I lie there in a daze, Vampy notices me.

  Then I remember everything that happened before I passed out, and now I’m wide-awake.

  “How are you feeling? Everything in order?”

  At that, I investigate the state of my body for a moment.

  Nothing feels out of order.

  I thought I remember
ed the arm Sael grabbed feeling broken to splinters, but now it’s perfectly fine.

  The baby bloodsucker must have healed me while I was unconscious.

  I nod to say that I’m fine.

  “All right, then.”

  Her reply is short, but I can tell that she’s relieved.

  Since she saved me and all, I work up the nerve to thank her.

  “Thanks.”

  I might not be much of a talker, but even I have enough manners to show appreciation at a time like this.

  “I-it wasn’t a big deal, all right!”

  Wow. What’s with that reaction?

  I thought you were supposed to be the crazy stalker character, not some aggressively shy girl.

  Well, whatever.

  At any rate, I didn’t wake up in heaven, so it looks like I survived.

  That’s a relief.

  I sit up slowly and look around.

  All I can see are walls of ice.

  The baby bloodsucker must have used her Ice Magic to make an igloo for us to take shelter in, I guess.

  There’s a little fire burning in the center of the igloo, and Vampy, Mera, and Sael are sitting around it.

  “Now that Lady White is awake, what should our next course of action be?” Mera asks, looking toward the baby bloodsucker.

  “We meet up with Miss Ariel and the others, of course.” She responds without hesitation. “But it would be silly to run off looking for her. Since we got swept away in the avalanche, we don’t even know where we are right now. Our best bet is to give some kind of sign of our location so that Miss Ariel will come to us.”

  Of course. That’s the first rule when you get lost like this.

  Don’t go anywhere.

  Otherwise, you’ll just get even more lost, and it’ll be harder for your rescuers to find you.

  Luckily, Vampy’s magic can make a base for us and a fire.

  That helps with the worst of the cold, and we can use the fire to melt snow for water.

  Food is a bigger problem, but we just have to trust that the Demon Lord will find us soon.

  That’s the gist of the bloodsucker duo’s conversation anyway.

  Sael and I just sit and listen.

  What else are we supposed to do?

  I’m useless in battle, and Sael is Sael.

  “If worse comes to worst, maybe we can eat this?”

  Vampy holds up…a monkey.

  Ah, it’s the one that grabbed on to her before.