Snow Regrets

by M. A. Innes

  I couldn’t decide if my heart was ripping in two or finally starting to heal.

  When he leaned in again and kissed my nose, everything narrowed down to that one moment. I didn’t know what to beg for or even how to hope for more. All I could do was send a plea to the universe who seemed to have forgotten me.

  Please don’t let him break my heart.

  “When you finally let me hold you and shared your secrets with me, I wanted to rail at the universe. I’d finally met someone absolutely perfect for me, but I knew you’d never see me that way. How could you with so much past between us?” The tender caress of his fingers was the only thing that kept me from shattering.

  It couldn’t be real.

  “But then you would give me these looks and there was the way you curled against me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. I kept telling myself it was my imagination, but was it?” I knew there was a question, but I was too lost to find it.

  Forest inched closer, his smile turning beautifully wicked. It was like he could see right through me. “Tell me that I’m wrong and I’ll walk away. We’ll go back to the way it was and I’ll never mention it again.”

  But I couldn’t.

  No matter what happened, I’d never be able to lie to him like that.

  “I tried not to.” Stark honesty was all I could give him. “I knew right away there were too many things standing in the way for you to ever see me like that. But I just couldn’t walk away from you.”

  Something fierce and powerful flashed through his eyes as he closed the final few inches between us. “I’m not sure I could have let you go.”

  When his lips took mine there was a flash of panic. It couldn’t be real. I’d wake up in seconds and find myself tangled in the cold bed upstairs, alone and broken. But when his arms wrapped around me in that familiar embrace I’d come to crave, I knew it was real.

  I shattered.

  Tears streamed down my face as he deepened the tender kiss. I could almost feel his emotions pouring into me as everything shifted in that one touch. As his lips left mine, instead of pulling away he started sprinkling kisses over my wet cheeks. “It’s okay.”

  His grip was almost painful as he held me close, showering me with love. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

  Finally, he gave me one last gentle kiss and just held me, keeping me wonderfully trapped against him. I let my head rest against his shoulder, tucking my face against his neck. Giving in to the need that had been pushing at me for days, I kissed the long column and just inhaled his scent.

  Forest let out a quiet chuckle. “My sweet boy.”

  There was so much love in his voice I knew it wasn’t just my imagination, but I had to be sure. It was too soon to say the words, but I needed to know it was serious for him. Pulling back, I took a deep breath. His brows pulled together and he hugged me closer before I could get the words out. “What’s wrong?”

  “This isn’t just something…I mean…I have to know…it’s…” Before I could find a way to ask his intentions without it sounding needy or desperate or stupidly old-fashioned, he jumped in, kissing my forehead again in his familiar loving way.

  “We will take it as slow or as fast as you want, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to do my best not to push you into something you’re not ready for, even though I’m probably going to drive you insane.” He smiled as I chuckled and curled back into him. “Safewords aren’t just for scenes. If I’m going too fast, I need you to tell me. I’ve charged right in to fight for everything I’ve ever wanted and that won’t change just because my focus is you.”

  I laughed quietly against his neck. “So you’re going to drag me back to your cave and keep me chained up forever?”

  He growled low and I could feel desire flash through him. “Don’t tempt me, my beautiful boy.”

  But there was nothing I wanted more than to tempt him.

  I’d held everything back. Not just my feelings for him but for everything. It was like I’d just been surviving for the past few years and I wanted to live again…and I wanted to experience it all with him.

  And now there was nothing holding me back.

  Kissing his neck, I flicked my tongue out and teased the sensitive skin. His rough words about tempting him were fresh in my mind, so the fantasy quickly took shape. “If you’re going to tie me up and keep me captive, you’ll have to punish me every time I try to escape and every time I disobey you.”

  Forest’s hands slid down slowly, caressing every inch he touched until he reached my ass. His strong grip kneaded the muscles, rocking me against him until there was no missing the thick erection that was straining against his pants.

  His lips brushed my ear, making me shiver as he nibbled and kissed his way down my neck. “I’d bend you over my lap, baring you to me every time, but we both know you’d only be doing it because you craved the pain, my touch, and all the pleasure you knew would come at the end.”

  Fuck, he was explosive.

  As he bit down at the sensitive juncture where my neck met my shoulder, I whimpered, grinding my dick against him. Forest’s hand came down on my ass like a shot and pain flashed through me as white-hot pleasure ran up my spine. “What did I say about getting off without permission? Is my boy allowed to hump his Daddy?”

  My brain was complete mush, thoroughly electrocuted by the pleasure.

  All I could do was whine and shake my head. That wasn’t good enough for my Dom, though. “Even when I’m playing with you and giving you all the dirty fantasies I know you crave, the rules don’t change. Your pleasure belongs to me alone.”

  His hands cupped my ass and started slowly making circles, getting temptingly close to where I desperately wanted his touch before moving away. I knew I was being punished for being naughty, but that just made everything hotter.

  “And you haven’t asked to come. It’s been days since you agreed to the rule.” He rocked me forward, rubbing my dick against him, but before I could do more than moan, he pinned me to him again. “The rule isn’t going to change just because you're completely mine. If anything, I’m going to be even more rabid about enforcing it.”

  My imagination could have had a field day with that threat, but he wasn’t going to make me guess what that meant.

  “Inspecting your tight little briefs…feeling your heavy balls to make sure they’re full…” His dirty words had a shiver running up my spine. It was so strong for a split second I thought I’d come. Forest gave a wicked chuckle that only made my desire more frantic. “And I have ways of knowing if you’ve been naughty.”

  He was going to make me come just so he could punish me.

  Fuck. That’d be hot.

  Did I want to be good or did I want to be punished?

  Was it even up to me?

  This wasn’t my sweet Daddy…this was someone else altogether.

  “I…you…” Fuck. Words were fucking hard. “I don’t…”

  I didn’t even know what I wanted to say.

  Forest bit down on my neck again, making me whimper and fight not to wiggle against him. “Please.”

  When he eased back I could finally breathe, but that wasn’t what I wanted. He held me tight with one hand but tilted my face up with the other. “You talked about the different sides of our relationship almost like different people.”

  One hand stroked my face tenderly while the one on my ass felt hungry and wicked. “Well, your boyfriend and lover Forest will romance you and always see you as an equal. Your Daddy will always put you first and will spoil you rotten. Your Dom will take you apart and send you flying, but he will demand complete submission.”

  I’d hit the romance jackpot and as soon as I could function I’d make sure Forest knew that, but for the time being, I just concentrated on standing upright and remembering to breathe. As far as multitasking went, that was the best I could do.

  When I nodded, he seemed to understand it was all I had because his smile got even more wicked. “I�
��m going to strip off your wet clothes and take care of you, but you need to decide who’s going to do that.”

  He’d lost my brain at strip, so it took a few seconds to follow what he was saying as he stroked his thumb over my lower lip. “Forest—Daddy—Master. Choose.”

  It was like picking which dessert to throw myself at when I knew they would all be utter perfection. But as much as I loved the way my Daddy took care of me and I needed my friend Forest, there was no question about what I wanted.

  “Master.” I’d been waiting years to say that, and I knew with Forest, I’d never regret it.

  “Please, Master.” I looked deep into his eyes and tried to show him how his words had touched me. There weren’t words to explain how I felt, so I said the only thing I could. “Make me yours.”

  Chapter 15

  Forest

  When reality surfaced, I’d pinch myself.

  But until then, I wasn’t going to question how the world could change so quickly. One minute my boy was freezing and confused, and the next he was truly mine.

  Mine.

  It could be such a selfish word, but as I held him tightly to me, it was one of the most beautiful words I’d ever heard. I pressed a kiss to his head, hoping he’d remember how far we’d come. Part of me wanted to go slow and shower him with romance, but I could feel his hunger stirring just under the surface.

  Romance and love would come later—right now he needed to be owned and claimed.

  He’d proven he could do anything he set his mind to. He’d not only survived, but he’d found a way to thrive and make a life for himself when a lot of other people would have slid into depression or worse. He’d gone after what he wanted and knew himself well enough to accept who he was and what he needed.

  But now what he wanted most of all was to belong.

  No more dipping his toe in the water and tentatively exploring the world of submission. He was ready to be wrapped in his Master’s arms and to have everything else fade away. I’d seen the hunger, but I’d told myself satisfying that need would belong to someone else. Never me.

  I knew how much was still standing in our way. Neither of us was that naïve, but I knew we’d crossed the biggest hurdle. The future would wait while we wrapped ourselves in the present and in each other.

  I leaned down and kissed his lips gently. As I pulled back, I made small circles over his ass, tempting him with what was to come. “Do you remember your safeword?”

  Just the reminder was enough to make his eyes glaze over as a shiver raced through him. When he forced the pleasure back, he swallowed and nodded. “Red to stop and yellow if it’s too much and I need to pause.”

  “Very good.” To reward him, I pushed him against me one more time and let his erection stroke against me.

  “Who controls your pleasure?” Kneading his cheek, I inched closer to his tight hole, curious to see how he would react. Sub didn’t necessarily mean bottom, but as he moaned and his blush flared back to life, I knew there would be no question about what my boy wanted.

  “You…you…Master.” Every muscle was rigid as he fought to keep himself still, unwilling to give in to the frantic urge to thrust himself against me. “You.”

  “That’s right.” To reward him even more, I traced up the center of his ass with one finger, caressing and teasing. “Such a good boy. I like being able to reward my good boy.”

  The sweetest whimper escaped and I could see his desperate grasp on his desire. “Sometimes that will be light playful touches, but other times you’re going to want a reward with more heat…more pain.”

  His eyes nearly rolled back in his head.

  I was going to have to punish him for coming unless I let up…but that wasn’t what he wanted. My needy boy wanted the threat of punishment…he liked sweet and spicy. “But it’s up to me to decide what kind of reward you’ve earned.”

  His explosion was going to be epic and incredible.

  Once I let him get there.

  “Who do you belong to?” I kissed him again, tender and almost innocent. “Tell me, boy.”

  I saw reality returning to his eyes as his mind fought back to the surface. He probably didn’t recognize what the feeling was, but I could almost see subspace pulling him under. Maybe it would have been harder if he’d feared the sensation or questioned what he wanted, but that wasn’t Joseph.

  When he gave himself to something, he was all in.

  No hesitation.

  No fear.

  He jumped in headfirst and just knew he’d come out better on the other side. He’d always been like that and the challenges of the last few years had only solidified that part of him. It didn’t matter if it was giving me his trust or letting his little side out to finally be able to explore the world. Once he made that decision, he gave everything over to it…to me.

  I knew when he gave his body and his heart it wouldn’t be any different.

  “You, I belong to you.”

  No hesitation.

  No question.

  Just the most beautifully honest submission I’d ever seen.

  Trailing a finger down his cheek, I kissed him again gently. “You’ll never regret that.”

  He nodded slowly, a tender smile spreading over his face. “I know.”

  Part of me said I should stretch out the teasing through the rest of the afternoon and take him to bed tonight, but we’d never make it that long. I wanted to see the pleasure continue to build until he exploded around me, screaming out my name.

  “Sit down so I can take off your boots.” I ran my hand from his ass up his back. “Then I’m going to inspect the rest of your clothes to make sure they’re not wet.”

  Another shiver raced through him as he nodded, realizing there was more to the game than just damp fabric. “Yes, Master. But…but what are you going to do if they’re wet?”

  I traced over his lip with one finger, loving the way his tongue flicked out to taste me. “I’ll have to strip them off of you.”

  My needy boy couldn’t wait for that part. His eyes lost focus again as his imagination flared. I’d seen flashes of that look over the past few days, but it had always been a fleeting glimpse as he rushed to hide his desire. Now his sexy, distracted expression just pushed my own arousal even higher.

  As I stepped back, he sat down on the bench, his legs looking just a little unsteady. Crouching down, I reached for his boots but paused when his hand came out and slowly stroked over my shoulder. I could see the silent request for permission in his eyes, so I nodded.

  If he wanted to touch me, I wasn’t going to stop him. Not yet, anyway.

  Fingers softly caressed my chest and arms as I stripped off his shoes and wet socks. The bottom of his jeans were just as wet as his socks, so no matter what, I’d have stripped those off. But now I didn’t have to be subtle or efficient as I revealed his sexy body.

  “Stand up.” As he obeyed, I dragged my hands up his legs, feeling his muscles twitch and jerk. “These are too wet.”

  He bit back a moan as my fingers came within inches of his straining erection before reaching for the button on his pants. So, of course, I had to smack his ass again. “No hiding your pleasure from me. Every moan and desire belongs to me.”

  His tongue flicked out, wetting his lips as he nodded, fighting to speak. “Yes, Master.”

  Inching the zipper down, my hand stroked over his cock. I knew from the way it jerked against my fingers he was holding back again. So instead of letting his pants fall to the floor, I rubbed my thumb over the head of his erection. “Let me hear your pleasure. I won’t have my boy disobeying such a basic rule.”

  Was he deliberately giving me reasons to spank him or was his brain just so overloaded it couldn’t process everything?

  “I…” His head bobbed up and down and a beautiful, deep moan ripped through him as I focused all his pleasure on that one spot. The fabric would give him some protection from the overwhelming sensation, but from the way he shook, it wouldn’t be nearly
enough. “Maaaster.”

  How could I resist such a sweet plea?

  Even I had to admit I was a bit reluctant to stop teasing his needy cock, but when I pulled his pants down to reveal the tight briefs, it was worth it. Joseph was always a bit embarrassed when I started digging through his underwear, but the old-fashioned briefs were perfect for him.

  They emphasized his sexy body and his youth in the most beautifully debauched way. He didn’t seem to understand how I saw them, but I knew my appreciation pleased him, so I let him finally see how incredible I thought he looked.

  Tracing over his straining package, I chuckled when it jerked and he moaned. “These are so tight that I bet your cock feels trapped. You’re aching for freedom, aren’t you?”

  His cheeks heated as he nodded, but even in his embarrassment, his erection fought against the fabric, straining to get closer. “I’m not going to let you out just yet.”

  My fingers were making it hard for him to think. Before he could decide if he was frustrated or confused, I continued. “I’m going to enjoy keeping you locked away in your little briefs. They’re almost like a cock cage for my needy sub. You’re going to stay safely tucked away where you won’t be tempted to play with yourself until I’m ready for you.”

  Desire made him slightly unsteady as he stepped out of his pants and I peeled off his socks. He clung to me like I was his lifeline in the storm until I was standing and wrapped around his scantily clad body. The T-shirt and briefs were almost perfect, but I’d meant what I said when I told him the other day how cute he would look in a tight undershirt.

  Those were going to be at the top of the list of things to look for, along with a few other things I knew he was curious about. As I thought about everything I would eventually get for him, I skimmed my hands down his back to palm his nearly naked ass.

  I could feel every curve of his body and every tiny jerk of muscles as he shivered. He’d vaguely downplayed discussions of how far he’d gone sexually, but as he looked up at me and moaned at my touch, I had a feeling he was more innocent than I’d expected.