If I Did It Prove It

by Valarie Deshazier

  “What does that supposed to mean?” she yelled out to me.

  I turned around smiled and winked at her and kept walking. She was about to find out soon enough just why it mattered and the reaction she was about to get.

  Later that night I went to the bar. I was sitting there having a drink when in walks Lisa and Nikki. I smiled to myself before waving for them to come over and join me.

  “Hey Porsha,” they both spoke.

  “How are you ladies doing this evening?”

  “We’re good,” Nikki replied.

  “I’m sorry to hear about Asia.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” Lisa stated as they both sat down.

  “Yeah, you were with Asia right before right,” Nikki asked.

  “Yeah I was,” I replied as I took a sip of my drink.

  “How did the two of you end up together?” Lisa asked.

  “We just ran into each other.”

  “Is that right,” Lisa stated.

  “Yeah, that is right. Anyway, how is she doing?”

  “She’s in pretty bad shape,” Nikki stated sadly.

  “Like I said, I’m sorry to hear about her accident.”

  It was silent for a second or two, but then we started a little small talk and they ordered them some drinks and we chilled together for a few hours. The night went peaceful, but right before we parted ways I made sure to bring up bullying.

  “So, Nikki, how is your son doing? You know, dealing with being bullied.”

  “He’s good. Whatever, he is learning at your center is really working,” she replied.

  “That’s good to hear. I wouldn’t want him to end up like the young lady did years back.”

  “What do you know about that?” Lisa spat.

  “I know enough that it wasn’t what the news put out.”

  “Yeah, Jasmine said that you talked to Asia about it,” Nikki stated.

  “Yeah I did, and I was thinking about going to talk with the family.”

  “Why would you do that?” Nikki asked.

  “Yeah, why would you go and remind them of what happened?” Lisa added.

  “I’m sure they are reminded every day of what took place. It’s something that they would never forget.”

  “That should be all the more reason not to go bother them about it,” Lisa stated.

  “I hear she had a cousin that she was close to, Cookie, and she is due to come in town.”

  “Cookie is coming back here?” they both asked.

  “Yeah, I’m supposed to meet up with her once she gets here. I’m going to rename my center after the young girl that killed herself from being bullied. In order to do that I need to talk with the family to get a better understanding of what happen and don’t let this city ever forget her name.”

  The looks on their faces allowed me to know that they were feeling a little uneasy. I didn’t give a fuck though. It was time that everyone knew just what they did. My cousin Shannon’s story needed to be told and not forgotten.

  “Well, I really hate to cut this evening short ladies, but I have a lot of work that needs to be done.”

  I stood up to leave, but Lisa caught me by the arm.

  “I don’t know what you are up to, but you don’t want to open up something that you can’t close back,” Lisa stated.

  I looked down at my arm and back at her. I gave her a look that let her know that it would be wise if she let me go and she did.

  “It seems to me that there are things that you don’t want to reopen. However, it’s opening,” I smiled then looked at Nikki and walked off.

  I left them sitting there wondering just what I meant. It’s funny that they were looking at Cookie and didn’t even know it.

  Chapter Eight

  The next morning, I was headed out to my car because it was time for me to go see my auntie, Shannon’s mother. However, before I could get to my car some chic walked up on me. She caught me off guard, so I was a little startled by her.

  “Porsha Lane,” she spoke as she walked up.

  “Yes and you are?”

  “I’m Shelia.”

  “And what can I do for you Shelia?”

  “I know who you are and why you are here.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked turning around to face her.

  I stepped back a little and gave her the once over and realized that she was the female that was at Nikki’s dinner party watching her and Lisa.

  “Look don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything. I’m sorry about what happened to your cousin Shannon.”

  I didn’t respond but just gave her an unsure stare.

  “You don’t have to say anything but do know this…”

  She went on to enlighten me on some things that I might not have needed to know, but it all was useful. There was one thing that she told me that I made a mental note of.

  When I pulled up to my auntie’s house, I sat in my car for a few minutes before getting out. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to see her or even go inside of the house. I took a deep breath and got out of my car and headed towards the door. Before I could get to the door good it swung open. My auntie was standing there with tears in her eyes. A few seconds had gone by before anything was said.

  “I was wondering when you were going to show up,” she stated.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t sure if I was coming or not.”

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “It’s good to be seen.”

  She stepped to the side so that I could enter the house. Once I walked in I looked around and her house was just as I remembered it. She closed the door and told me to have a seat. I turned and looked at her. I just stared at her for a second.

  “It’s okay you can go in her room.”

  I slowly turned around and headed down the hallway towards Shannon’s room. I stood at the door and took a deep breath before I opened the door. The room didn’t look the same as I remembered. There was a made-up bed and a dresser, the curtains at the window allowed the sun to shine through just enough to light the room up. The room didn’t have any feeling to it. I walked over and rubbed my hand across the dresser. I stood at the window and pulled the curtain back and looked out the window. I smiled because I remembered how Shannon and I would play out back on the swings. As I took in the moment my eyes started to water. I quickly turned around to leave out the room and look dead into auntie’s eyes.

  I froze and a tear fell from my right eye.

  “I know baby,” she spoke softly.

  I quickly embraced her with a hug, and she held me back. The embrace lasted for a minute or two before I pulled away and walked out of the room.

  Once we were back in the living room I sat down on the couch and my auntie sat next to me.

  “So, tell me why now? Why come here now? You have been in town for almost two years now.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “So, are you going to go through with it?”

  I looked at her confused.

  “No need to look confused. I know why you came back here, and truth is I can’t say if I blame you for your reason or not.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” I replied holding my head down.

  “I’m sure you don’t, but just know that I get it and if I was you I might do the same thing. Hell, I’ve even thought about it myself,” she said as she stood up and walked into the kitchen.

  I sat there for a few seconds before going into the kitchen. I stood there not knowing what to say or do. My auntie was standing there drinking a beer. Nothing was said for a few seconds.

  “If you are going to do it then just do it. You don’t need my approval.”

  I looked deep into my auntie’s eyes trying to study what she was saying to me. The deeper I looked the stronger I felt about the mission I was on. With no more words being said, I turned around and walked out of the kitchen and out of the house.

  I got in my car and just sat there for a few seconds before I finally started the car a
nd drove off. At first I wasn’t sure as to what I was going to do next, until I saw Lisa’s car at the bank. I pulled over and waited for her to come out.

  “Lisa, can I talk to you for a minute!” I yelled out as I was walking up on her.

  “What is it that you need to talk to me about?” she questioned as she stood there with her nose up in the air.

  “Can we meet up later for drinks just you and me?”

  I could tell by the look on her face that she was about to say no.

  “You wanted to know why I’m so interested in the young lady that committed suicide. Well meet me for drinks and I will tell you why.”

  She hesitated for a second, but then agreed to meet with me. I told her to me meet around seven at the diner. After we parted ways I headed over to the library. I needed to ensure one thing before I met up with Lisa.

  Chapter Nine

  After I gathered all the information that I needed I headed home. When I reached my house there was a note on my door. I looked around to see if anyone was around before I grabbed the note and went inside.

  I sat down on the couch and opened the note, and this is what it read: There are eyes on you so be careful.

  I wasn’t worried about anyone watching me. I just hoped that they were liking what they were seeing. Anyway, I went to my room and took a shower and got myself together for the outing I was about to have with Lisa.

  So, when I got there I waited for a while, but she never showed up. I didn’t feel any type of way about it because I was going to meet up with her either then or later, so it really didn’t matter. I wasn’t ready to go home so I stopped by the little bar to have a few drinks before I did go home. It couldn’t have been any sweeter or easier for me. When I walked in and looked around I saw that Nikki and Jasmine’s husbands where there and they were lit. So, of course I eased my way right over there.

  “Hello fellows, mind if I join the two of you?” I asked smiling down on them.

  They looked up at me and then at each other before they both jumped up saying yes and pulling out the chair for me. I sat right on down.

  “What are you drinking?” John, Nikki’s husband asked.

  “I will start with a shot of Patron.”

  Chad, Jasmine’s husband, waved the waitress over and told her what I wanted to drink. I really wasn’t sure just how things was going to go, but it turned out better than I thought.

  “You was at the dinner party the other week, right?” Chad inquired.

  “Yes, I was there.”

  “Yeah, I thought I saw you,” John stated.

  “I see that the both of you noticed me,” I smirked.

  “Of course,” they spoke in unison.

  I just smiled and took my shot to the head. Of course, I played the night to my advantage. I had them eating out of my hands. I found out that John wasn’t the father of Nikki’s son. I thought back to when I saw Nikki getting out of a car with some other dude. I made a mental note to find out just who he was. Chad was only with Jasmine for financial reasons. They both are trying to find a way out of their marriage without losing everything. I felt I had a way to help them both. I sat there and soaked up all the information that they were feeding me.

  Sadly, it came to an end when Nikki and Jasmine walked in. It was cool because I had all the information that I needed. Plus, the look on their faces when they saw me sitting there with their husbands was priceless.

  “What is going on here?” Jasmine spat.

  “Yes, what is going on here,” Nikki added.

  “Oh, nothing, just having a few drinks,” I stated as I stood up to leave.

  The guys just sat there looking like they didn’t know what to say. It was funny to me.

  “Thanks fellows for a lovely evening,” I said giving them both a wink and a smile.

  “Our pleasure,” they replied.

  I smiled at Nikki and Jasmine before saying, “Ladies.” When I walked off I could feel them looking at me. I waited until I got to the door and looked back at them all. Indeed, they all were still looking, so I smiled once more and walked out the door.

  When I got home it was about 2 a.m. and I made a few calls. It was time to dead them hoes and I knew all I needed to know to do it.

  Twelve Hours Later

  Knock…Knock

  Thirty seconds later

  “What are you doing here at my house?”

  “You didn’t show up last night or call, so I just stopped by to see if you were okay.”

  “Yeah, something came up,” Lisa stated kind of stand-offish.

  “I’m sure. However, aren’t you going to invite me in?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

  She hesitated for a second then stepped back so that I could enter her home. I walked in and looked around just a little as she closed the door. Her house was nice. Nothing to write Home about, but it was nice.

  “Have a seat,” she said pointing to the couch. “Would you like anything to drink?”

  “I brought you some wine. I wasn’t sure what you like, so I hope this is okay,” I stated as I showed her the wine.

  “Yes, that is prefect.”

  “Great,” I smiled.

  She walked off and headed into the kitchen. I sat down and looked around at the same time. Like I said the house was nice but it could have been kept up a little better than what it was. However, it wasn’t my house and who was I to judge how someone lives.

  “I got some glasses,” she stated as she walked back into the living room.

  “Oh, I’m not drinking. I have a meeting later and I wouldn’t want to go to the meeting under the influence,” I replied with a smile on my face.

  “You don’t mind if I crack open the bottle then do you?”

  “No, by all means drink up.”

  She did just that. We sat and had small talk, nothing major. She was taking that wine down. She couldn’t finish one glass before she was pouring some more. I was loving every minute of it. I wanted her to drink.

  “I don’t know if it’s me or what, but this wine is really good,” she said still drinking.

  “I’m glad that you are enjoying it.”

  “I almost drunk the whole bottle,” she laughed.

  “That’s what I bought it for…for you to drink,” I smirked.

  “Indeed, I am truly drinking it too.”

  It was silent for about a minute, but I was loving the fact that she was not giving that wine a break.

  “Is there any change in Asia’s condition?” I asked breaking the silence.

  “No there isn’t any change,” she replied as she looked at me sideways.

  “Oh well, I hope she pulls through.”

  “Speaking of Asia. She called me that night of her accident,” she spoke slurred.

  “Oh, did she,” I smirked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Yeah…she did.”

  She could barely get her words out. That wine had her gone to another world.

  “What did she say?” I inquired.

  Her eyes was closing, and she couldn’t hardly hold her head up. She was trying though. It was funny because she was stretching her eyes trying to keep them open, and she would try and say something but couldn’t.

  “Are you okay?”

  All she could do was bat her eyes real fast. I wanted to laugh so bad, but I didn’t.

  “You said Asia called you that night,” I repeated what she said.

  “Yeah…she did…but…but I…but I…di…didn’t answer but she left a voice mail,” she struggled to say.

  “Okay, what did it say.”

  “Said she… needed… to… tal… talk… wit… with me… and some… something… abo… about you,” she strained to say as she pointed at me.

  “Something to do with me?”

  All she could do was nod her head up and down in a way of saying yes.

  “I’m sure she did try to call you that night…maybe because I was asking about the young lady that supposedly killed herself some years ago,” I
said as I stood up.

  She couldn’t speak, but I could tell by the look on her face that she either wanted to know why I was asking about it or she was afraid that I knew just what had taken place. I was going to answer her thoughts.

  “You probably want to know why I’m asking about it. You might be wondering if Asia told me what really happened.”

  She batted her eyes slowly which let me know that she was wondering just that. I went on to inform her that I knew everything about what had taken place. I also made her look me in my eyes. I told her if she really look at me then she would see just why my presence there was so important. Of course, I had to help her out a little. Once she realize just who I was her eyes lit up. Let’s just say that I took my time and made her feel all the pain that she caused me and my cousin to feel. I didn’t want her to die right off, but I did want her to suffer. I enjoyed causing her pain maybe more than I should’ve.

  Chapter Ten

  By the time I was leaving Lisa’s house she knew just who I was and that I knew everything. She tried to explain and apologize. It was too late for all that. She was in on making my cousin and my life hell. I wasn’t trying to hear all that. She even had the nerve to shed a tear or two like that was going mean something to me. I started to choke the life out of her, but I had something better in mind.

  Anyway, as I was pulling out of Lisa’s driveway, Nikki and Jasmine were pulling in. I smiled and kept it moving. I could see it in their eyes that they were wondering why I was even there. I was going to have my one on one with them real soon. I started to go home, but instead I went and had me a steak. I felt I deserved it.

  Later that evening, I was home drinking some wine and not that cheap shit either. I had many ideas as to just how I wanted to end Nikki and Jasmine’s life. However, I just couldn’t decide just how I wanted to do it. A part of me wanted them to go quick and easy, but the other part of me wanted to take my time and make them feel the pain. I turned the television on, and my answer was right there. The ID channel was on and it was giving me all kinds of ideas and I was loving every one of them.