Hard to Trust (Hard to Love Book 2)

by L. M. Reid

  As I walk, my mind wanders back to that night in the hot tub, how free we felt, how close we got. I just want that back. I want her name to never fall from his lips again. I want Ashlynn to be free, once and for all.

  I make my way home, an unexpected surprise on my doorstep.

  “Cooper?” I say surprised to see him. I was expecting a phone call, but for him to show up in person? Whatever he found must have been bad.

  We do the quick guy hug thing before we make our way into the house. “What do I owe the pleasure?” I ask.

  “Just thought I would stop by, pay you back for being a dick yesterday,” he says with a laugh. “And I wanted to give you this.”

  He hands me a file folder. I flip the cover open and peruse through the documents. Seems my friend Johnny is even more of a douche than I thought.

  I drop the file on the coffee table and run my hand through my hair.

  “What do you want me to do?” Cooper asks.

  “You’ve done enough. I can’t ask…” I say.

  “Don’t do that, Gray. You know I have your back.”

  “Honestly, Coop, I don’t really know what to do. I want to make this son of a bitch pay, sure. But more than that, I just want to keep Ashlynn safe.”

  “I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Cooper says with a laugh. “I never thought I would hear you all sappy and in love again. It’s a good look on you though, man,” he says as I head into the kitchen.

  I return and hand Cooper a beer before taking a sip of my own.

  “So, what do we do about Johnny?” I ask.

  “I’m not opposed to paying the man a visit. You?” Cooper suggests.

  Damn, I like the way he thinks.

  35

  Grayson

  Cooper pounds on the door at the address we have for Johnny. It’s a much nicer place than he deserves to live in. Though I suppose being a pimp is a fairly lucrative career.

  “What?” Johnny yells as he yanks the door open. When his eyes fall on me, he laughs. “You.”

  “We need to talk,” I say.

  “I’ve got nothing to say to you,” he says. He’s about to slam the door shut, but Cooper puts his hand up and stops him.

  “That’s okay, we have plenty to say to you,” Cooper says with a smile on his face.

  Johnny folds his arms across his chest and stands in the doorway. “Fine. Talk.”

  “That’s not very polite. You should probably invite us in,” Cooper suggests.

  Johnny laughs. “Fuck off.”

  “So rude,” I say.

  Cooper shrugs his shoulders. “Someone needs to teach you some respect.” Cooper’s hands press into Johnny’s chest with force causing him to fly back and hit the wall behind him. With the doorway clear, Cooper makes his way in. “Nice place.”

  There are two half-naked women on the couch, another passed out on the floor. Fuck.

  “Get out,” Johnny demands.

  “You didn’t say please,” Cooper replies.

  “We’ll leave. Just as soon as you and I come to an understanding,” I say.

  I pull the piece of paper out of my pocket, the most damning piece of evidence Cooper found, and hand it to him. “And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. That alone is enough to put you away for a while. I’m an attorney, I know.”

  “What’s your point?” Johnny says though his once invincible demeanor is gone.

  I step toward him, shoulders squared. “My point is that if you don’t leave Ashlynn alone permanently, that little piece of info along with all the other shit my friend Cooper over here,” I say pointing to Cooper who waves at him, “found on you will be going to the police.”

  “I ain’t afraid of no police,” Johnny says.

  “Quite the scholar, aren’t you?” Cooper jokes. “She’s cute,” he says squatting down next to one of the women on the couch. “How does a sick fuck like you score with a girl like her?”

  When Johnny moves to go after Cooper, I grab his arms from behind and restrain him. “It’s a shame you can’t get your hands dirty,” Cooper says. “Because this is going to feel great.”

  Cooper swings his fist and it connects with Johnny’s face. I let Johnny go, allowing him to fall to the ground. Cooper gives him a swift kick to the gut and Johnny chokes from the blow.

  Cooper and I squat down on either side of him. “Here’s the deal,” I say. “You’re going to pretend you have no idea who Ashlynn is. You’ve never seen her and she sure as hell never worked for you. Anything that says otherwise, my friend here is going to pick up and destroy. In return you will get two things. One, I will give you two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for you to keep your mouth shut and destroy any evidence of your relationship with Ashlynn.”

  “What’s the second thing?” he asks.

  “I won’t send your ass to jail, as long as you keep it up,” I tell him.

  “Do we have a deal?” Cooper asks.

  “Yeah, fine, okay, we have a deal. Now get off me,” he says.

  “Okay,” Cooper agrees. “One last thing though.”

  “What?” Johnny yells.

  “This,” Cooper replies. His fist connects with Johnny’s face again. He shakes off his hand. “Damn that feels good.”

  “Easy boy,” I laugh. We get up and head to the door.

  “When do I get my money,” Johnny asks, blood dripping from his nose and lip.

  “Soon. We’ll be in contact.” I keep walking because I have spent more time in the vicinity of this man than I ever want to.

  “When you’ve got the money together, just let me know. I’ll make the drop off for you,” Cooper tells me.

  “Thanks man,” I say.

  He shrugs nonchalantly. “Buy me dinner?” he asks.

  “After that? I’ll buy you anything you want,” I tell him with a laugh.

  36

  Ashlynn

  I look over at Grayson, his face is sullen, and he looks withdrawn. I’ve sat next to him for the past few days watching him deteriorate mentally, more and more. This case, this type of law, it’s not for him. He doesn’t have the stomach or the heart for it.

  Still, the case is progressing at least getting us closer to the finish line of this whole ordeal. Testimony after testimony, Gray and I sitting there objecting to every damn thing that is said. Because sometimes laws and rules don’t always follow the way things should be. And we are building this case to easily put reasonable doubt in the juror’s heads.

  Somehow though, the closer we get, the less it feels like a win, especially when you turn and look back at the courtroom that is filled with the families and friends of Ivan’s victims.

  Ivan isn’t helping the situation any. Rather than showing any remorse, he spends his time looking smug and winking at me. Grayson situated himself between us the first day and has remained in that spot since refusing to let Ivan get within an arm’s reach of me.

  I need to help Grayson. I need to give to him what he always gives me: peace and happiness.

  Lucky for me Elliott left town this morning, something about having to make arrangements. While his words sounded cryptic to me, I didn’t dwell on them. It is the exact opportunity I need to help Grayson, to do something for him that will help to take his mind off of everything; even if it is only for a few hours.

  Elliott’s been keeping me on a shorter and shorter leash recently which hasn’t lent much opportunity for Grayson and me to spend time together outside of the courtroom. Today is exactly what we both need – time together.

  The moment court adjourns Grayson grabs his stuff and heads for the exit. He has tunnel vision and aside from getting out of here, nothing has his attention, until my hands are on him, trying to stop him from leaving.

  He stops and turns to me. “Hey, sorry, I…”

  “Want to get the hell out of here?” I supply. He nods. “Good. Come with me.”

  I take his hand and lead him out of the court house and into the parking lot straight to my car.
>
  “Okay, I give.”

  I laugh. “When I’m stressed one of my favorite things to do is drive.” I look up at the clear blue sky and back to Gray. “Looks like a great day for a ride with the top down, don’t you think?”

  He looks at me, then back at the sports car.

  “You drive this?” he asks.

  As much as I know he’s going to hate it, I feel the need to be honest with him. “It’s mine, but I don’t drive it often. It was a gift from a friend.”

  At the mention of a friend, he rolls his eyes fully aware of whom I am referring too. Logan.

  “I appreciate it, but – “

  “Don’t do that. Forget why I have it. Focus on how damn awesome it is and that you get to spend the day in it with me.”

  “I can’t help but…”

  “No one, Gray,” I take a step closer and lock eyes with him, “no one has ever been anything in this vehicle besides a passenger. Except for you – if you want.”

  “You swear?”

  “Cross my heart.”

  He eyes the car, then with a wicked smile turns to me and says, “I’m driving.”

  He drives alright. More like speeds – a lot. I may be holding on for dear life, but I’m laughing like a fool at the same time. The wind in our hair, the sun shining down on us, and Grayson by my side makes today the perfect day. Despite the hellacious start in court.

  We’ve only been driving for about thirty minutes, but he looks more relaxed already. That gorgeous smirk of his, his back, and his muscles look much less tense. With one hand on the wheel, he places the other on my thigh.

  I cover his hand with mine and slide it further up.

  He looks over the top of his sunglasses at me. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Sweetheart. I am a man at the end of his rope.”

  “Oh? Why is that?” I slide his hand further up, his fingers dig into my flesh.

  “Well, that’s because I am being deprived of the only thing I want.”

  “Oh, what is it that you are so deprived of? Maybe I can find some for you.”

  He slows the car down and eases off the road.

  “You, Ashlynn are the only thing that can help me.”

  I unhook my seatbelt and climb over to the driver seat, my legs straddling him. “Take whatever it is you need from me.”

  His hands run up and down my body. “Don’t tempt me.”

  “I thought I already was tempting you.”

  “Just looking at you tempts me, Sweetheart.”

  “Take me Grayson.” I’m calling the shots right now, and I am not taking no for an answer.

  “Right here?”

  “Right now.”

  A car whizzes past us. “As tempting as that sounds, I’m afraid we would both have our licenses revoked if we got caught. Rain check?”

  I shake my head. “No. Your place. Now.”

  He smiles at the desperation in my voice, knowing I need him as bad as he needs me.

  “Your wish is my command.”

  Funny, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be him that is giving commands once we reach his home.

  We stumble into the house blindly. Our hands are all over each other, our kisses a frenzied mess of need and want mixed with anger and frustration.

  We fumble our way to the bedroom, bumping into walls, knocking things off the table in the hall until we land on the bed with a thud. I burst out laughing. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I felt like this, as if everything is okay and just how it is supposed to be. The only time in my life I’ve ever felt like that is with Grayson.

  He kisses me with force one last time before lifting himself off the bed. I lie there, watching him undress before me.

  “Come here,” he commands.

  I sink to my knees before him, touching him through the rich fabric of his pants, tugging on the belt that I wish he wouldn’t have worn. Silence hangs in the air, everything is quiet except for the sounds of our desire.

  I free him from his pants taking in the amazing sight before me. He stands there; completely naked, uninhibited, and staring at me with such intensity that I almost have to look away. There is so much being said in this moment, in that look, that it terrifies and exhilarates me all at once.

  As I take the length of him slowly in my mouth, I continue to keep our visual connection. I want to watch him, to see the pleasure I bring him. His eyes tell me more than his words ever could. The fact that I can read them, understand them, is baffling to me. Somehow, someway we have this unspoken connection. It’s almost like we knew each other in another life. How else can you explain it? The deep connection, the ability to read each other, and the emotions that came almost instantly. Emotions that I normally would have fought, but willingly accepted with Grayson.

  Simultaneously, I work my mouth and my hand, trying to coax out of him the powerful release that he brings to me each and every time we are together. In this moment, I want nothing more than to touch him, taste him, my own gratification be damned. I need Grayson to know, to understand. He is mine, I am his, and I would do anything for him; even if that means risking my heart, my body, and my soul.

  He eases my head back. Looking up at him I swear he can see right through me. He shakes his head slightly, a smile playing on his lips.

  “I could not have dreamt up a woman more perfect than you,” he tells me as he helps me to my feet. “God help me, you are going to be my undoing.”

  He kisses me, moving us backward until the back of my knees hit the bed. There are no commands or demands, only seamless, fluid movements as if we can anticipate each other’s every move. I lie back on the bed, his body covering mine, and await the pleasure of feeling him inside me. Wrapping my leg around his waist, I pull him closer to me.

  He rests his forehead on mine as he slides inside me; the perfect feeling, the perfect fit. His slow deliberate movements have me writhing beneath him with vigor needing more than he’s giving yet not wanting to rush our time together.

  With each movement I can feel my climax coming, the intensity rising. I cry out his name, I beg and plead. But he just continues his assault on my senses in a slow torturous pace. Everything inside me feels electrified, my body is quivering, and my heart is racing. When my orgasm hits it feels euphoric.

  I feel his hit just as mine nears its end.

  “I love you, Grayson.”

  He lifts his head from where it was resting on my shoulder and looks at me. Whatever it is that he’s searching for, he must find it. He rolls onto his back, taking me with him and kisses me silly.

  “I will never make you regret saying those words. I swear to you Ashlynn.”

  The intensity of the night leaves us sated and wrapped in each other’s arms, my head resting on his chest. His heartbeat is strong and solid, the sound of it lulling me into a sense of security. It’s a feeling I hadn’t felt since Logan. I feel safe. Grayson West is the last place I thought I would find that.

  “Say it again,” he says.

  “Say what?” I reply acting confused by what he is expecting.

  His fingers tickle the side of my ribcage. “Say it, woman.”

  I giggle from the sensation. Me. I giggle. I don’t remember the last time a sound like that emerged from me, if ever.

  “I love you. There, I said it, now stop.”

  “Stop? You want me to stop? Say please.”

  “Damn it Grayson,” I say continuing to laugh.

  Where his fingers stop, his mouth starts. Hot kisses trail down my neck, along my collarbone, slowly moving further south until the sound of his phone disturbs us.

  It’s nearly two o’clock in the morning. Who would be calling him at this hour?

  The color drains from his face before he even answers the phone.

  “This is Grayson,” he says into the receiver.

  He’s silent as whoever is on the other end speaks to him. I sit up in the bed, clutching the sheets to my chest.

  “I’m on my way,” he says
before jumping out of the bed.

  “Gray, what’s wrong?”

  “I have to go.” He’s rushing around the room getting dressed, I follow suit. He grabs the phone and looks at me. “I’m sorry. I have to go. I…”

  “Slow down,” I say as I press my hand against his chest. “What’s going on?”

  “She’s worse, she…” I can feel his heart racing beneath my hand. “Fuck. I can’t lose her. I can’t.”

  His mother. Something happened to his mother.

  “Let me come with you.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that. If he finds out…”

  “You’re not asking, I’m offering. I want to be there for you.” There is an aching feeling in my stomach seeing him in torment like this.

  With his hand on my face, he pulls me in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

  37

  Grayson

  I bolt out of the condo with Ashlynn in tow. Tonight has been a whirlwind of emotions. Hearing her say those three words that she has never said to anyone else, made my world complete. If she loves me, then there is hope for us, and I sure as hell am not giving up.

  The minute I heard my phone ring, I knew. I may not have known the exact reason for the call, but I knew it was about my mother – and I knew it was bad. My heart sank when I see the name of her nursing facility on the screen. With resolve, I answered the phone expecting the worst, but still hoping for the best.

  Daphne has been doing her best, but my mother keeps deteriorating. So, when the doctor said that she had a heart attack, it wasn’t too much of a shock. What did come as a shock were the words, we don’t think she’s going to make it. Fuck.

  I’m sure the hospital has already reached out, but I text Daphne anyway.

  Me: Mom had a heart attack.

  Daphne: I’m on my way. She’s strong Gray, keep faith.

  She’s right. My mother is strong. And right now she needs to use that strength and pull out of this. I am not ready to lose her yet. I have to believe that or otherwise I wouldn’t be able to make the several hour long drive to see her.