Hard to Trust (Hard to Love Book 2)

by L. M. Reid

  He swallows hard and hands me the paper.

  “Larry Clark? Is that supposed to mean something to me?” I ask.

  “He’s… he’s your father, Ash.”

  “My… no. No one knows who my father is. My mother… she doesn’t… it can’t be.” I look down at the slip of paper again, then back up to Gray. “Is this real?”

  My head is spinning. Every loose end tied up. Every damn worry gone. Then a cherry topper – my dad? A man that I never thought I would be able to even put a name too, now has a face. And an address?

  “How?” I ask completely baffled.

  “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you know.”

  “I… I don’t know what to say.”

  Grayson stands from his seat. “You don’t have to say anything. Goodbye, Ashlynn.”

  I watch him step away from me, closer to the door. “Don’t go,” I call after him, but he disappears through the door and into the night.

  I chase after him. “Grayson, stop,” I shout.

  His feet stumble to a halt and I move quickly to catch up to him, my hand grabbing his arm and turning him to me.

  “Where are you going?” I ask.

  “I’m going home. I’m done here Ashlynn.”

  “What about…”

  He shakes his head violently. “It’s not worth it. I’ve wasted so much time and energy on him, I… I just want to move on.”

  “You came here to destroy him.”

  “I did,” he agrees. “Thing is, I never even tried. All I did was fall for you.” He shrugs. “I screwed that up, so there’s nothing left here for me.”

  “Grayson,” I whisper.

  Tell him it’s okay. Tell him you love him. Tell him not to go.

  A slight smile from him. A turn on his heel. His body disappearing into the night.

  Why the hell are you letting him walk away?

  I berate myself and my every action and word tonight.

  Am I really that afraid of love? Am I that jaded by my past that I won’t allow myself a future? Even with the man who just handed it to me on a silver platter.

  46

  Grayson

  As I stand in the front of the funeral home, next to my mother’s casket, I look out into the crowd. The number of people who have shown to pay their respects and give their condolences is staggering. She was loved by many, despite her declining health over the last several years.

  The stories people tell me put me at peace, how she had touched their lives, the things she had done for them. It was astounding. The more I hear about who she was before my father, the more I hate him and the more I adore her. She really was an amazing woman. And Elliott Cahill destroyed her.

  She wouldn’t want me to dwell on that though. She would want me to move on, to be happy, and to enjoy my life. In honor of her, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I just wish it was going to be with Ashlynn by my side, but…

  I look at the ground. You fucked that up big time, West. You weren’t honest with her. You let your need to destroy him, destroy yet another good thing in your life.

  I look up and smile as I see Cooper standing next to me.

  He pulls me into a hug, hands patting my back. “I’m sorry, man.”

  “Thanks, Coop.” I’m standing here talking to Coop when my body begins to hum. And there is only one fucking reason that ever happens – Ashlynn.

  I glance up from my conversation to see Ashlynn standing at the entrance, my father next to her.

  No way. Not today. None of this is happening today.

  I excuse myself and head in their direction.

  My eyes bounce back and forth between the two, unsure which one of them to confront first. Do I start with the man that has less than no business being here? Or, the woman who is still with the man that blackmailed her into a relationship when she no longer needs to be?

  I settle on him because my anger towards him is at an all-time high. And frankly, I want Ashlynn here. Not him though. I want him in that coffin instead of my mother.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask him.

  “Paying my respects,” he says incredulously as if my question comes as a shock to him.

  Fucking asshole. He drives her crazy, then has the damn nerve to show up here – to pay his respects? He never respected her when she was alive, I’ll be damned if I let him near her now.

  “Like hell you are,” I say.

  My voice must be louder than I think because I can see people looking in our direction. Let them look. I don’t care.

  Brayden approaches us. “Grayson,” he says in a warning tone.

  “Stay out of it, Brayden,” I say.

  “You’re really going to do this? At our mother’s funeral?” Brayden asks.

  What better place to do it? I may not be able to get my revenge on him, but I sure as hell can tell him exactly what I think of him.

  “You never gave a damn about her. You used her, then picked her apart until there was nothing left. And then, to top it off, you abandoned her. And, now? Now, you want to come here and pay your respects? You’re the one that put her in that fucking coffin, you don’t get to step foot near her ever again,” I tell him.

  To my surprise, Brayden doesn’t step in. He doesn’t defend our father; he doesn’t do anything except stand next to me.

  “What the hell has gotten into you?” my father asks, confusion written across his face.

  Apparently, my little charade of being the doting son, the son who wants to carry on the family business was portrayed better than I thought.

  “Nothing has gotten into me. This, Dad, is how I’ve always felt about you. And now that she’s gone? I only hate you even more.”

  “You asked to come work for me, I made you partner,” he says obviously forgetting that Ashlynn wasn’t in on his devious little plot.

  “I wouldn’t work for you if it was the last job on the planet. You’re sick and twisted and don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself.”

  “You just made a huge mistake crossing me,” he tells me.

  He steps forward and stand directly in front of me. I can see the rage in his eyes, his fists clenching at his sides like he’s preparing to hit me. Brayden quickly steps between us and forcefully places his hand on Dad’s chest. “Please Dad, just go.”

  Dear old Dad startles at the words his other son, his protégé, speaks to him. I don’t think Brayden has ever once went against what my father wanted. But here he is doing it now. Better late than never I suppose.

  “Move your hand, son,” he tells Brayden.

  Brayden shakes his head. “Don’t make a scene, please? Today is hard enough. Just – go.”

  “Fine,” our father scoffs. “Let’s go Ashlynn.” He goes to grab her arm, but she steps out of his reach and embraces Brayden giving him her condolences.

  She then moves to me. I eye her curiously, trying to figure out why the hell she’s still with him when she doesn’t have to be. Her arms wrap around me and my body tightens until I feel her hand at my suit jacket pocket, something slipping inside it.

  “That’s everything you need. And more.” Ashlynn steps back and looks me in the eyes. “I am so sorry Grayson, for everything.”

  The flash drive, the information on it, it’s why she’s still with him. She got me my revenge.

  “I said, let’s go,” my father orders Ashlynn and it’s the last fucking straw for me.

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” I tell him.

  “She’s mine, Grayson. I will talk to her however I see fit,” he says with a condescending laugh.

  My fists clench at my sides. Still next to me, Ashlynn’s hand squeezes mine, her way of telling me she can handle this. The simple touch calms me instantly. The woman is my fucking lifeline, the only thing that can bring me back when I am about to fall over the edge.

  “Get him out of here, please,” I ask of her.

  She nods, but I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t want to go. Christ, sh
e has no idea how much I want her to stay, too. “I am so sorry for your loss Grayson,” she says before turning back to my father.

  “Thank you, Sweetheart,” I tell her.

  I take a moment to revel in the look of disdain on my father’s face at the connection between Ashlynn and me. It’s about as easy to see as a bull’s-eye on a target and it’s fucking killing him. So much that he feels the need to assert his dominance by grabbing her arm and pulling her toward him. In what must be the single most inappropriate action I’ve ever seen, he kisses her, putting on a show for me and anyone else who’s watching.

  “Walk away,” Brayden advises.

  My father is challenging me. Asshole. I may hate that he kissed her, that I had to see it, but I know that I am the one in her heart. I think of the flash drive she slipped into my pocket. Game on.

  I turn and head back into the room, toward my mother’s casket. I just want to get this day over with. I want to move forward. I toy with the flash drive in my pocket. My revenge, she gave it to me. I’ll be damned if I don’t give her my future.

  Hal is standing there with Cooper when I get back. He pulls me in for a hug. “You okay?” he asks.

  I’m not sure when he got here, or how much he knows, but he’s here nonetheless and I’m grateful.

  I pull the drive out of my pocket and show it to him. “Just fine.”

  47

  Grayson

  “What the hell are you doing?” Brayden asks as I pull out my laptop.

  “What does it look like?” I say inserting the drive into the computer. “I’m going to find out exactly what an asshole our father is.”

  Hal’s on one side of me, Brayden on the other as I sort through the files that Ashlynn obtained. Most of which I was already aware of, just grateful to finally have the proof. My eyes catch something though, a business document. More accurately, a document that outlines ownership of Cahill, Cahill, and Associates.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Brayden says as he reads the same words that I am. Words that have me stunned silent.

  It seems that Mom wasn’t the second Cahill in the name. She was the first. She started the firm, later adding Dad. That little tidbit adds a whole new layer to this.

  I wasn’t wrong. He was the reason that she was in the condition she was. I was just wrong about how he went about it. He didn’t pull her off cases, he didn’t make her less vital in the firm. It wasn’t his to do that with. He needed to find another way. And, he did.

  The arrogant asshole must have needed a reminder of his devious plan. In front of us, the computer screen shows a prescription – for him. One that if taken incorrectly can cause serious medical issues – just like the ones that my mother suffered from. He fucking killed her.

  “This can’t be right,” Brayden says.

  I glance up at him. The color is draining from his face as he pushes his hand through his hair.

  “I’ve defended him. I’ve… Jesus, Christ,” he exclaims.

  I stand up and grab him by his shoulders. “You didn’t know. I didn’t know. Treating her like shit was one thing B – a matter of opinion.”

  “I should have believed you,” he says.

  “It doesn’t matter now. Now, we move on,” I tell him. Brayden nods.

  “What are you going to do with this information?” Hal asks.

  “Nothing,” I tell him.

  They both look at me like I’ve lost my mind. The one thing I have been searching for, I’ve finally found. And now, I’m not going to do anything with it?

  Well, that’s not exactly true.

  I walk out of the room, back toward my mother. I kneel next to the casket, my head bowed. She defended him because she didn’t know. She still loved him because she thought he loved her. Everything I assumed was right, it just hadn’t gone down the way I thought. The things I saw, they didn’t happen exactly as I remember and as I kneel here, I can see them more clearly now.

  Dad didn’t have to treat her badly; the medications took care of her deterioration leaving it to look to the outside world like he was taking care of her until he himself just couldn’t bear it anymore.

  “Mom, I promised you that I would move on, that I would be done with trying to get revenge on Dad. If I do that, it means he doesn’t pay for what he did to you. It does mean that I can make things right, for all of us, though. What do I do mom? What the hell is the right thing to do?”

  I close my eyes, my forehead resting on the casket. I can hear her voice. “Gray, honey, you always do the right thing. You have such a good heart. Follow it.”

  “I love you, Mom.”

  48

  Ashlynn

  Elliott has been in rare form since we left the wake. He’s been stomping around the house, screaming at me, and demanding things that I don’t understand.

  “We’re leaving,” he says.

  “What? To where?” I ask.

  I don’t want to be with this man, least of all do I want to travel with him somewhere. Once I knew that Grayson had what he needed, I had every intention of ending things with Elliott. His erratic and irrational behavior has me rethinking my decision. There is no telling what he’s capable of. No, I need to wait for Grayson. He’ll look at the drive, he’ll come for me.

  “Do not question me,” he shouts at me. The tone of his voice sends a shiver down my spine. If I didn’t feel uncomfortable and unsafe before, I sure as hell do now.

  “But, Elliott, the Cole case,” I say trying to speak in terms I know he will care about.

  “To hell with the case. We need to go, we need to make this official,” he says.

  Official? What in the hell is he talking about? Unsure what else to do, I play along.

  “Make what official?”

  “You, becoming my wife.”

  Oh, shit.

  “Elliott, I…”

  He hands me a photo. When I look down at it, the picture of Grayson and I kissing.

  “I told you no men and you go and fuck my ungrateful bastard of a son?” Elliott takes a step toward me, his hands gripping my arms. “I have tried to be nice, but I’m done. Tonight, you become my wife in every sense of the word.”

  A sudden loud pounding on the door interrupts us.

  “Well answer it already,” Elliott demands shoving me away from him.

  Regaining my balance I rush to the door and pull it open. Every ounce of fear and anxiety dissipates at the sight of him. Grayson.

  “Gray, thank God,” I say.

  His hand comes to my cheek, the other at my waist and he pulls me to him, our lips meeting in a desperate kiss that has me forgetting that Elliott is only a few feet away.

  “Get your hands off of her,” Elliott shouts.

  Grayson pulls back and looks me in the eye. “It’s all over. Everything is going to be okay.”

  Without hesitation, I accept his assurances.

  He steps past me, headed directly for Elliott and I’m momentarily afraid that he’s going to punch him – or worse.

  “You’re an idiot,” Elliott tells Grayson. “Giving everything up for some bitch who has sex with men for money.”

  His words sting even though I know that’s exactly what he intends for them to do. He wants to hurt me and put doubt in Grayson’s mind.

  “No, I’m giving everything up for a woman I love. There’s more to life than your sick fucking obsession with success and money,” Grayson tells him. He takes another step toward Elliott, fists clenched. “I know the truth. I know what you did to her.”

  While at first, I think he’s referring to how Elliott mistreated his mother, there’s something in his tone that says it’s so much more.

  “You don’t know anything,” Elliott replies as he steps backwards.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Grayson replies as he pulls out the flash drive and holds it up for Elliott to see.

  “What is that supposed to be?” Elliott asks with a laugh.

  “This,” Grayson begins. “Is every
thing I need to put your pathetic ass behind bars. Every bribe, every financial transaction, every thrown case, and…” Grayson smiles. “Every damn bit of proof that you poisoned my mother and killed her.”

  Elliott’s jaw drops. He’s stunned silent and frankly, so am I. I may not have understood everything that I was giving him, but I knew it was bad. I just don’t understand what it was in the documents I gave him that led him to that conclusion.

  “Your fucking arrogant ways, saving the goddamn prescriptions,” Grayson shakes his head. “And you say I’m the idiot?”

  “What do you want?” Elliott asks. He’s trying not to show it, but I can see the fear in his eyes.

  “What I want and what I’m willing to settle for our two different things. I want you to rot away in a prison cell, tortured repeatedly by every damn person that you helped put in there.” Grayson scrubs his hand over his face. “What I’ll settle for is you getting the hell out of town, never practicing law again, and never and I mean never so much as looking at Ashlynn again.” He presses toward Elliott, until Elliott is backed against the wall. “You forget everything you know about Ashlynn; you hand over Cahill to her and Brayden, and you leave town and never show your fucking face here again.”

  “Grayson…”

  “Don’t Grayson me. You can either accept my terms, or I can turn all this into the police.” Elliott reaches for the drive, but Grayson pulls back. “If you think I’m stupid enough to not have secured this information somewhere else, you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

  “Brayden won’t…”

  “Brayden knows and Brayden is in complete agreement. You’re finished, Dad. It’s up to you on just how finished you want to be.”

  Elliott shoves off the wall, gets in Grayson’s face, “I’ll go. But know something, Son, your little girlfriend over there, she was fucking me every chance she got, screaming out my name, not yours.”

  He’s trying to goad Grayson, get him to assault him so he can have one final say in all this, and try to ruin Grayson’s pristine reputation. Grayson doesn’t bite. In fact, he flat out ignores him.