Lawlessly in Love 2

by Mercy B

  “I’m just doing my job. I’ll be outside. Sorry if I frightened you.”

  “You didn’t frighten me, Julio.”

  Shaking my head, I continued on my journey to the bathroom. My bladder was on fire, and I’d piss myself if I didn’t relieve it soon. As I sat on the toilet, my cell vibrated on the counter. A quick glance at the caller ID, and I was aware of who was attempting to get through to me. I had no interest in listening to Sosa breathe into the phone, so I declined the call instead.

  By the time I’d wiped my ass and washed my hands, he’d called twice more. Each time, I let the phone ring out or pressed ignore. I was sick of his shit, and it was time that I showed him that I was more than a cute face with my head buried in the books.

  Thankfully, Sosa grew tired of his call not being answered and didn’t call back after the third time. When I reached the living room, Julio was bringing in a load of supplies from the car. I followed him to the guest bedroom, upset that he even knew my house so well. He’d been here before. I could sense it. He knew the place too well.

  As he mentioned, he began removing some things from the bedroom. The first to go was the bed. “Where did you put it?”

  “On the curb. Across the street. Someone picked it up immediately. Really good quality.” Julio ran back out to the car and returned with more items. After the fourth trip, he packed up his broken cameras and other equipment before leaving.

  “Be safe,” he warned as I walked him out of the door.

  “Whatever,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes and heading toward the couch.

  Chapter 6

  Three months later…

  Sleep hadn’t come easy for me in the last three months since Sosa had been away. It seemed as if time had no intentions of slowing down so that I could catch my breath and let everything that was going on around me set in. As I rolled over and out of my bed from another sleepless night, I became saddened by my growing belly. Time was passing us both by, and the closer I got to my due date, the more I was beginning to accept the fact that I’d be in this alone.

  I had reached the six-month mark and would soon find out the sex of the baby. Each time I went to the appointments, the legs were closed. Honestly, I didn’t mind waiting until the baby was born for the sex to be revealed. I had everything I needed for its arrival already, so I wasn’t pressed to go out and buy anything any time soon. That shopping bug had worn off after noticing I’d get short of breath after walking more than a few minutes at a time.

  This morning, I was scheduled for a check-up that I wasn’t looking forward to. Each month, I had to drag my ass back to the doctor to hear the news that my baby was doing well. We’d gotten to the stage where the kicking kept me up through the night, and the extra weight I’d put on was causing my back to hurt. My breasts were like melons, and I prayed they kept their form for the rest of my life. I was feeling the extra fluffiness.

  In the bathroom, I began my hygiene regimen. Everything seemed to have been moving in slow motion, but I finished up in a few minutes. Per usual, my bladder needed to be emptied, so I sought to it that I gave it some relief. I’d taken a shower the previous night, so I hadn’t planned on getting in. A little wiping with a towel would be suiting.

  I wet a white cloth and rubbed the dab of feminine wash I’d put on it. Once the suds appeared, I was good to go. I cleaned myself and then cleared everything with warm water. My bathroom closet was where I stashed a few panties and bras, knowing that I didn’t always make it to the bedroom before I was ready to feel that good ole cotton on my ass.

  My cell rang from my bed as I snatched a pair of satin underwear from the bucket. I hurried to remind Sauni that I wasn’t a kid, and I’d been awake for a minute now. She was adamant about making sure I made our appointments on time. As I’d guessed, she was expecting. Thankfully, she wouldn’t be spitting out twins this time. There was only one baby in her tummy, and she was three months along. Today was her second appointment. The first, she’d been accompanied by her husband.

  Although she was on the fence at first, Sauni was over-the-moon excited to be bringing a new life into the world, especially beside me. We’d been joking about the fact that Brielle would’ve more than likely joined the crew and kissed whoever her baby daddy was goodbye. The girl was so damned headstrong that she probably wouldn’t mind using a man for his sperm and bouncing.

  “Sauni, I’m up and getting dressed. I’ll meet you…”

  There was no background noise aside from the labored breathing on the other end. Instead of even inhaling and exhaling, a long sigh came through the line. Something was wrong. I sat on the bed and propped my legs up on either side.

  “Talk to me,” I begged, something I hadn’t done since I’d discovered it was him calling. “Just say something.”

  The silence was deafening.

  “Please.” My chest felt as if it had been submerged in hot lava. The same heat prickled my eyes before tears slid down my face. “I’m a mess without you,” I admitted, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “I need you here with me. I’m facing this all alone, and I’m scared to death.” Even though he wasn’t saying anything, I needed him to understand what I was going through. “I didn’t know, and I need you to believe me. I’m working so hard to get you back here, but last night, I realized something.” Sniffling, I caught my breath before continuing. “You don’t want to be here. Do you?”

  He didn’t respond, but another deep sigh showcased his uncertainty.

  “You don’t want this. You don’t want me. You don’t want us.” The thought was excruciating. “You’re not ready to be the man that I require, are you?”

  Silence.

  “Do you even care that I’m having your child and may have to raise it all alone? Do you know”—my chest heaved from the weeping—“know how horrible that feels? I grew up without a mother, and it is breaking my heart knowing that my child won’t have its father.”

  Silence.

  “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t even want this. All I wanted was you. All I needed was you. As grateful as I am for this blessing, it wasn’t mine to have. It is yours. You worked for this, not me. How can you not be here? How can you not care?”

  Silence.

  “Say something to me.” Snot began pouring from my nose as I leaned forward and rested my head in between my knees. “Just say something… anything.”

  I was desperate. It had been proven that the first memory you lost once a person was gone was their voice, the sound of it. It had been three months, and it was slowly fading away. I prayed that he refilled me with new memories by saying something… anything.

  I received nothing but more silence. “Goodbye.”

  I disconnected the call as my heart shattered into pieces with enough force to splatter its blood onto my naked body. I felt more exposed than I had been the previous night when I prayed upon his return. The emotional scars Sosa was reprimanding me with caused physical pain, but there was no time to linger in my sorrows.

  There was no need in holding on any longer. I had somewhere to be, and holding the phone would only put me further behind. If I wanted to be in good spirits at my appointment, I needed to get myself together and try to push Sosa back as far into my mind as he would go. If I had any luck, he would remain there.

  Trying to put the call behind me, I continued to dress. First, I pulled my panties over my ass and used the bra on my bed to swipe the dampness from my eyes before putting it on. I grabbed the cocoa butter from the nightstand and paid extra attention to my round stomach. As I rubbed, the thudding began, and my baby started to go wild.

  From one side to the other, it flipped, indenting and pushing my stomach in a million different ways. It was still so funny, the way my little one woke at my touch, or maybe it was when I was saddest. Those were the times that I caressed my belly the most and gave it all of the love that it would lack once out of the womb and understanding of the world we lived in.

  “Hey, little one. Are you going
to open your legs for Mommy? We want to know who you are,” I encouraged. “Aunt Sauni is dying to know, so be good for us!”

  It was amazing, the power my unborn had over me. In a matter of seconds, a few movements had erased the pain I’d felt prior. I was thankful for my personal piece of sanity. Deep within, I knew that the love I felt for my child would evolve, and with him or her at my side, there wouldn’t be a single obstacle I couldn’t face without knowing that I had someone who loved me unconditionally and had my best interest at heart.

  “How have you been feeling?” Destiny sat across from me.

  This week, I ordered a shrimp trio. The chocolate shake wasn’t quite cutting it. I was starving and needed to feed my hungry child immediately. My appetite was picking up as the weeks flew by.

  “Fat,” I admitted, stirring the pasta noodles before putting a few strands in my mouth.

  “Well, you don’t look fat. That’s for certain,” Destiny complimented with a smile.

  “Yeah?”

  “Not at all. You’re all belly. Some women blow up and look like whales. Ugh, you’re glowing.” Following my lead, she ordered actual food as well. She had gotten steak and a loaded potato.

  “Well, I have nearly four months to go, so I have a lot of growing to do.”

  “You’ll be just fine.”

  “Have you made any progress on the case?” I wanted to cut straight to the chase.

  We had all night to sit around and chat. My main concern was Sosa and his freedom. After the call I’d received earlier this morning, I knew that I had to do something soon, or I’d lose it. I wouldn’t last much longer before giving up completely, and that was something I didn’t want to do. Not at all.

  “Tremendous progress. I’ve snagged another big fish to fry. His name is Juan. He’s pushing heavy weight, but not for long. Unlike Sosa, he’s not a very smart man, or at least he thinks he is. In just two weeks, I’ve nearly penetrated his operation completely. He treats his men like shit, which makes our jobs easy. They can’t wait to see him fall.”

  “And what about your team? Are they buying into the new case?”

  “Yes. We’ve grown to understand that Sosa isn’t returning, and we’ve exhausted our resources, trying to figure out where he is. The man is smart. Too damned smart if you ask me.”

  “And the evidence.” The pasta was nearly gone, but I was happy to have a second serving as a choice of the trio.

  “I brought this with me to show you.” Destiny pulled out a folder from her bag.

  Laying it out on the table, she began comparing the differences between the first evidence log she’d shown me and the new one. There wasn’t a single piece of evidence listed. Not one. My heart filled with glee as I picked up the newest log. For two months, she’d been working to get Sosa’s evidence dissolved, and she’d finally come through. Instinctively, I learned over the table and hugged her around the neck. It was obvious she was caught by surprise, because she didn’t return the gesture. By the time she realized what had happened, I was back in my seat and scanning over the paper.

  “You think they’re going to have questions?”

  “I’ve already raised hell about the evidence going missing. I’ve even began pointing the finger at some of the shady officers that were on the case with me. But they wanted Sosa so damned bad—just like me—that they’d never jeopardize the investigation.”

  “What is it with cops? You guys are so obsessed with these people’s lives.” I didn’t understand.

  “It comes with the job, Gauge. I couldn’t explain if I tried.”

  “So what happens next?”

  “If he returns home, there is a possibility that he may still be harassed or sought into. However, I don’t think he will slip up. It wasn’t his slip up that put him on our radar anyway. He moves with precision.”

  I nodded, loving the news I was hearing. This meant that my man could come home and not worry about being chained and put away for the rest of his life.

  “So even if he is arrested, nothing will stick?”

  “Nothing. We have no evidence. As well, that dickhead of a lawyer he has will eat into the precincts budget if he’s arrested unlawfully.”

  “Yeah. He’s something else,” I agreed.

  “I can’t stand to see his face.”

  Over the next hour, we continued to chat about what was to come, possible baby names, and my ideas for the nursery. Again, the baby hadn’t felt like participating, so I’d be waiting until my next appointment to see what I was having. This child was as stubborn as its mother.

  I gave into Destiny’s pleas and promised she could accompany me to my next appointment. We capped off dinner and went our separate ways. For the first time in weeks, I decided to sleep over at Sosa’s home. I wanted to feel his presence while I tried conjuring a plan to find his location and bring him back home to me.

  I tossed and turned, partially frustrated with my constant need for the bathroom. It was three in the morning, and I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. Between bathroom trips and restless thoughts, I couldn’t close my eyes long enough to find it. Even after I’d just relieved my bladder, it felt as if I still needed to piss.

  Instead of heading back to the bathroom, I went downstairs to the kitchen. A late-night snack would surely put me to bed. It never failed. I took the clear staircase to the foyer and then crossed the embellished threshold of the living area before making it to the kitchen. Too lazy, I took the shortcut. It seemed as if Sosa’s house went on for miles that I didn’t have the strength to tackle.

  As I polished the bowl of ice cream, curiosity had gotten the best of me. The invisible entry to the door that Sosa had disappeared behind caught my attention. Placing my bowl on the counter, I headed toward it. Upon it, I began massaging the wall as if it would speak to me. After about thirty seconds, I stumbled backward and had to break my fall because it made a very deep sigh before parting and the door appearing.

  I hadn’t seen it since the night the cops had attempted to pry it apart. No matter what they tried, it wouldn’t come open. They’d deemed it impenetrable, but that didn’t stop them from trying to penetrate it until days later when Goldstein requested their presence at my home be removed.

  With it, the keypad became visible. It was all so intriguing and made me wonder why I hadn’t known about it sooner. I rubbed my hand across the pad several times before it lit up. A single green light wrapped around it. Closing my eyes and trying to remember any important codes or dates, I began punching in numbers left and right. Sosa was so sophisticated with his coding that I’d failed twelve times before I paired his mother’s birthday, his and mine—which was in a few days—and heard the loud clink that opened the door.

  “Shit!” I opened the gap the door had formed wider.

  Inside, there was a tunnel the size of a single-car garage with skeet marks all through it, evidence that some small tires had been present, I would guess a motorcycle. Stepping inside, I began surveying the opening for any clues that would lead me to Sosa. On the wall, there was another keypad that one needed access to. I put the same numbers in and watched as it slid down and displayed enough weapons to silence an army of twenty-five, keys, cash, and a crumpled piece of paper.

  I couldn’t do much with anything that was behind the wall but the map that I had stumbled upon. It was in Spanish, which was impossible for me to translate. Feeling like I’d stumbled upon the jackpot, I rushed from the tunnel and back into the house. I closed the door and watched as the wall collapsed over it as if it weren’t there anymore. Sosa was a smart son of a bitch.

  I ran up the stairs and grabbed my cell phone before I began putting the pieces to the puzzle together. The map was extremely confusing, and it frustrated me that I couldn’t quite figure it out. After two hours of digging, I’d come up empty handed.

  Sleep was tugging at my brain, so I decided to give in. Solving the mystery map of numbers and words would have to come by morning because I was not functioning at my best,
and I knew it. I tucked myself away and fell into a deep slumber for a good four hours before the numbers and words all began to make sense for me.

  It was an address. The locations on the map that were filled with words that happened to be numbers was not to help identify cities in Mexico. It was a combination of words and letters that happened to form an address.

  I went to work, still in my bed and solving the mystery map on the notes application on my cell. It didn’t take much longer after that. I managed to crack the code within minutes and then prayed upon it before tossing the covers over my body and heading for the bathroom.

  Within minutes, I was showered and looking for the first bus that would get me to Mexico on my cell. The extended drive was too much for me to handle alone, and I’d rather not go into a city driving alone and not know where the hell I was going.

  The next bus was scheduled to leave within two hours. I texted Destiny to let her know that I’d be away a few days to handle business. I was certain she understood with that meant. For the next hour, I prepared myself for the unknown. Uber was my savior as it dropped me off at the bus station at least forty minutes before my bus was scheduled to leave.

  “Mexico City, here I come.” I sighed, walking into the station. There was a long, unpredictable journey ahead of me, but I was ready for whatever.

  Chapter 7

  Gauge

  He was potent. His scent. His aura. His presence. It was all a bit much for my exhausted frame to endure. My knees buckled as I muffled the cry that threatened to spill from my lips. It had been months—months of not hearing his voice or seeing his handsome face.

  His silhouette was the only thing visible in the darkness, but I’d be damn if that didn’t look good too. For what felt like an eternity, I stood at the opening of the door and gazed. I didn’t have the strength to continue into the bedroom. I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it to him. Weakness was present in my body, and I didn’t want to risk falling and hurting myself or the baby.