The Cautious Maiden

by Dawn Crandall

  —Nathaniel Hawthorne

  Upon exiting the elevator and then immediately entering the front hall of Dexter and Estella’s sixth floor tower apartment on Vance’s ever-steady arm, I was not surprised to see Ben Whitespire and Roxy Blakeley sitting and chatting together on one of the sofas flanking the ornate marble fireplace at the end of the front room. I forced my gaze from lingering on them for too long, setting my heart against the slight bit of jealousy the sight provoked.

  Vance helped me out of my coat, took my bonnet from my hands, and gave them to the butler, who hooked them onto the wall tree nearby.

  “Hello, Violet! Vance!” Estella greeted us with unconcealed enthusiasm, stealing my thoughts away from Ben and Roxy. I was still amazed she genuinely seemed to offer me her friendship.

  “It’s so nice you were able to come up together. Did you happen to meet downstairs?” she asked with a sly glance my way.

  “As it happened,” Vance answered. “We did just that.”

  “How wonderful. I always knew you two would get along.” She turned to Dexter, who had silently greeted us with a smile and then stood off to the side in all seriousness, looking as if he intended to snatch his new wife away from us the first chance he had.

  Vance’s answer had apparently satisfied his sister’s curiosity about us coming together, for she immediately excused herself and disappeared down the hall with her husband.

  Despite the warm welcome, I was still terrified of what any one of them might think of my hair once they sat down and had a good look at it. I’d only had that quick glance in the mirror downstairs, and for as amazing as it looked to me then, would it be enough to hide the atrocious truth?

  I scanned the hall for another mirror, almost desperate to prove to myself that my hair wasn’t, indeed, falling from the pins Vance had so diligently secured. But when I spotted one, I couldn’t make myself go near it. My doing so would only draw more attention, when really, I wanted and needed the very opposite.

  Every time I thought back to my brother’s actions, I felt like crying. It would take years to grow my hair out to an appropriate length again. I could still hardly conceive that it was gone, replaced with masterfully placed pins that did an acceptable job of hiding the truth.

  Vance led me into the front room, though I didn’t know why he continued to bother. He’d never shown any particular interest in guiding me about on any other occasion.

  I reached up to finger a short strand I felt escaping the pins just behind my left ear, but then I stopped, in case anyone might notice.

  “See?” Vance whispered, leaning toward me ever so slightly. “No one even notices the difference. And when they do learn of it, I promise you, they will not think any less of you or your hair.”

  As he finished this secret sentence, Vance stepped away from me as if he’d not said a word. I stared after him. I felt as if a new man had been unveiled to me—that this couldn’t be the same Vance Everstone who’d practically ignored me for months. What had caused him to make such a change in his treatment of me? Why—just because of my unfortunate evening—did he act so differently now?

  As I was about to head toward Ben and Roxy, Estella again came up to me. “Vance continues to surprise me every time I see him these days.”

  “Oh really?” I asked, for I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “He’s much changed, even from last summer. If you’d known him then, I dare say you wouldn’t recognize the man here tonight.”

  Estella took my arm and led me to the couch facing the one Ben and Roxy occupied. Their lively conversation still seemed to be going strong, though all I could tell about it was that it involved something to do with the strange behaviors of their pet cats.

  I looked toward the dining room and saw that Vance and Dexter spoke together near the entrance which we’d soon be converging through. Vance stood with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his gorgeous face, as if stubbornly defending something to Dexter. He didn’t look happy, that was for sure. A moment later, Dexter looked at his watch and dismissed Vance, then came further into the room to inform us that dinner would soon be ready.

  Vance walked off toward the large wall of windows overlooking Half Moon Lake and the Appalachian Mountains in the distance, and looked as if he was doing all he could not to lose his temper.

  When Estella moved to join her husband, I stood as well. And then I found myself walking across the room toward Vance. I didn’t know why. He wouldn’t likely want my company, not if the severely disturbed look on his face was any indication. But my feet would not obey what I knew to be best, and I ended up standing before him. His discomfiture did something to me, and I just wanted to try to make him feel better. He hadn’t seemed that out of sorts before speaking with Dexter. What on earth could he have said that would put Vance in such a temper? Was it about me?

  I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I just stood there with him…trying to figure everything out.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, still not letting up on his disparaging mood.

  “I’m trying to decide what to say to you.”

  “Why bother saying anything?”

  Taken aback a little, I didn’t budge. Although his sister had just reiterated how changed he’d seemed lately, all of a sudden, there he was, acting like a bear.

  “I don’t have to say anything. I can just stand here.” I insisted upon staring out the window as I said the words, though I could tell he watched me closely. “It’s quite preferable to sitting alone on that sofa over there across from—”

  “Is there something between you and Ben?”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised by such glaring frankness. Not from Vance Everstone.

  “I wish him all the best in whatever it is he sets his mind to.”

  “And what about his heart?” He looked almost suspicious, but I could hardly imagine why he would be. What would it matter to him if there was something going on between Ben and me?

  “It’s really none of my concern what he does with his heart.”

  “Miss Blakeley seems to fancy him, quite a lot.”

  “He’s a likable fellow.”

  “Would you say that I’m a likable fellow too?”

  “Not especially.”

  He smiled. “Good—you shouldn’t.”

  I gave him a questioning look, for he did puzzle me so.

  “You shouldn’t seek out my company.” He turned his face from me, suddenly interested in the detail of the carved doorframe. “Even amongst friends.”

  “Because it isn’t safe?”

  “For your reputation.”

  “Says Dexter Blakeley?”

  His eyes met mine again, narrowed shrewdly. “And any other person who would—”

  “Well, we need not be friends.”

  “That’s probably best.”

  “Is that why you’re so firing mad right now? Because people would assume there’s only one reason a man like you would want to associate with a young woman whose brother runs a brothel…because…because what other reason would there be than to—”

  “That’s not why.”

  Taken aback yet again, my hand involuntarily went to my chest. “I’m delighted to hear it, Mr. Everstone.”

  “You should be. I have only the most honorable intentions when it comes to you, Violet. I need you to know that above all else.”

  The conversation had taken such a turn; I hardly knew what we were speaking of, or why. How had things become so confusing? And what on earth did he mean by the little he’d said?

  “I suppose it would be best that we not be friends. There would likely be too many complications; especially if the rumors I’ve heard are true.” I took a step away, which he allowed. He even took a step back himself.

  “Exactly, Miss Hawthorne. It is for the best.”

  “Well, thank you very much for having my best interest in mind, Mr. Everstone.” And with that final sentence, I walked away.
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  ***

  “You’ll be going to Boston soon, as well? Maybe we could all travel together.” Dexter looked down the table, right past me, to direct his question to Ben Whitespire.

  “It might be possible. I’m not sure of my plans as of yet, but I do plan to visit The Boston Inland Mission Society eventually. Crawford always had such good things to say about it, and I feel that God has been calling me to move on from the church in Laurelton.”

  “Really? You’re going to leave Laurelton?” I asked.

  “Not any time soon, I don’t think, and maybe not at all.” His gaze dropped to his plate, avoiding having to turn directly toward me while he answered. “I’m just open to the idea, if my meeting with the mission society goes as well as I hope.”

  Ben Whitespire hadn’t exactly professed any feelings for me in the last few months as our acquaintance had deepened, but we had a certain kind of camaraderie that had given me hope for something more.

  The thought of him leaving Laurelton created a hollow feeling in my stomach. He must have sensed my discomfort because when I glanced up next, he caught my eye with an apologetic smile.

  What did that mean? I swallowed and determined not to let it bother me. I had much bigger things to worry about concerning Ezra and his treatment of me earlier that evening than to dwell on what Ben’s ultimate intentions were regarding me. Although I’d put on my smile and bravely attended the dinner, what had happened was never far from my mind.

  No one had mentioned my hair, which surprised me. Perhaps I really was just someone to fill a seat and make the numbers come out right, and not someone anyone genuinely wanted to get to know. Maybe it was best that Dexter, Estella, and Ben would go off to Boston together soon. I’d been too hopeful, thinking I belonged in such an elite crowd, when I really didn’t.

  From across the table, Vance cleared his throat, capturing my attention away from the most decadent chocolate cake I’d ever tasted. He locked his dark gaze to mine for a moment and then shifted his eyes toward Ben in question.

  As if I hadn’t already given him the answer.

  “When will Nathan and Amaryllis head back to Washington?” Vance asked his sister.

  “Oh, not for a few months. Not until little Rafe gets bigger, and after father’s wedding in June. Why? Are you going to come down to visit them too?” Estella’s tone grew more excited. “We’d love for you to join us; you’ll have to come down eventually, you know—”

  “Possibly. I’ve been needing to get down to Everstone Square in Boston for a while now. But I’ll have to see. Miss Hawthorne, have you ever considered possibly moving to Washington?” Vance asked abruptly. “Our family could provide you with plenty of connections.”

  “Um, Washington state? Why would I—?” I asked, momentarily confused by the turn in the conversation. “I’ve never considered it before.”

  Vance lifted a brow, eying me suspiciously.

  Indeed, why would I not, considering what kind of shenanigans my brother could be up to concerning my safety and well-being?

  “I know Nathan would love to see more of you before they leave again, Vance. You should come with us.” Estella reached her hand down the table toward her brother. I couldn’t blame her, but Vance Everstone definitely didn’t seem like the kind of man who would welcome such displays of affection and concern from anyone; even a sister.

  “And if when they do leave, and Violet wants a chance to move on, I’m certain they would love having her help with the baby.”

  “Are Lawry, Meredyth, and Wynn still around, by chance?” Vance’s words, although they were simply said, sounded forced and empty, just as he’d sounded while talking to me before dinner. As if he’d hated uttering every single one of them.

  “They’ve already started on their journey back to Washington.” Estella pulled her hand back. “If you’d wanted to see Wynn before they left, I’m sure I told you multiple times over the last few months what their plans consisted of; that they were heading back in early March.”

  “I suppose I—I’ve been busy.” And he left it at that.

  “Why would you need to see Wynn?” I lifted my eyes to meet his across the table, my curiosity getting the better of me. But seriously, what connection did Vance have to Meredyth’s adopted daughter that he would want to see her?

  Estella gave her brother a questioning glance, and then answered, “Wynn is Vance’s step-daughter. His late wife’s little girl from her first marriage, I believe. Isn’t that right, Vance?”

  My mind raced at the thought of Vance married. He definitely didn’t seem the marrying type. And how long ago had his wife died? Why had I not heard about those rumors? And what about all of the ones I had heard—were they from before he was married, or after? He hadn’t been in active mourning when I’d first met him in October. Why hadn’t anyone ever mentioned his wife before?

  “Giselle—my wife—passed away during our voyage from France to America last spring,” Vance answered my unspoken question. “And yes, Wynn is my daughter, but we all thought it would be best if Lawry and Meredyth adopted her. And it is. It is best she be with them.” He still seemed to speak with the same forced nature as when he’d first brought up Wynn, and it made me want to know more. About everything.

  Truly, what a conundrum Vance Everstone was becoming. Would he ever allow anyone to solve the puzzle of a man he obviously enjoyed presenting? But then again, perhaps it had been only his wife who’d been able to break through to the real man underneath it all, and now that she’d been taken from him, he wasn’t too keen on letting anyone else in. Ever again. That’s how he seemed. So closed. So aloof.

  But then my thoughts traveled back to when he’d pinned my hair, so tenderly and carefully. Had it been his wife who had taught him—?

  Oh! Why were such outrageous thoughts even invading my mind?

  New, startling opinions of Vance pushed their way into my heart. He had acted the hero down on the steps of Everston. He’d come upon me at my lowest, and he’d done everything he could think of to make me feel better. He’d convinced me to come to dinner and even persuaded me that I had nothing to worry about concerning my job.

  And he’d been right.

  When I lifted my eyes from my meandering thoughts, I found him silently watching me. Even if he’d insisted that not being friends was best, the look on his face said so much more than any of his words ever had. It displayed quite the opposite of what any of his overly protective sentences had suggested. The look in his eyes seemed almost interested, which caused all kinds of strange emotions to bombard my chest.

  Dexter and Estella were speaking about their ultimate plans to rebuild Blakeley House someday, and Ben turned to speak to Roxy who had hardly said a word through all of dinner.

  It was amazing how quickly a glance from Vance could make me forget all about my wishful thoughts concerning Ben.

  Ben Whitespire really was the best man I’d ever had the chance to meet, and he deserved my thoughts and attention a hundred times more than Vance Everstone did.

  He was a preacher, lived an upright life in Laurelton with his two sisters, was tall and handsome enough, and treated everyone—even me—with the utmost respect. He’d gone away for his pastoral studies and returned home to Laurelton when his father had passed away, for the benefit of his sisters, and also conveniently just in time to take over his father’s pastorate.

  But now he would possibly be leaving again.

  “What will become of your sisters if you turn to missions?” I overheard Roxy ask.

  “Georgiana has become engaged,” Ben replied. “She’ll be married soon, and they plan to move to New Hampshire to be nearer her fiancé’s family. Lanie will go with them, of course, though the thought of doing so has her seriously considering her options. She’s recently finished her teacher training and is considering taking a position, possibly not far from where I’ll end up.”

  “And where is that?” Roxy asked. She could have been reading my mind.


  “Tennessee or Kentucky. But again, only as I feel the Lord’s guidance.”

  “There seem to be plenty of people around here who need you.” Roxy spoke up again, which surprised me. She wasn’t usually so persistent. “How are we going to find someone who wants to come and replace you way up here in the middle of nowhere?”

  “He calls us all to do different things, Miss Blakeley. I’m sure someone will answer God’s need in Laurelton if I’m called elsewhere.”

  From the pale, starched look on Roxy’s face, I could tell the prospect of Ben leaving Laurelton was something that bothered her—maybe even more than it bothered me. Had Ben been just as friendly to her throughout the months? Maybe his friendship with me really hadn’t meant anything. Maybe he was interested in Roxy, instead. Really, he was so genuinely friendly, it was impossible for anyone to tell what he meant by anything.

  I turned my attention back to what little chocolate cake was left on my plate. Dinner was almost over, and I again found Vance Everstone studying me. He’d done so on a number of other occasions throughout the months, but now that he’d actually spoken to me and made me feel as though he’d cared about what happened to me—which was ridiculous—the look did something peculiarly new to me. Something even Ben Whitespire, with all his genuine candor, had never quite been able to accomplish before.

  3

  The Hollow

  “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.”

  Ezekiel 36:26

  Sunday, March 27, 1892

  The next afternoon, after church in Laurelton with Estella and Dexter, I decided to walk to Leightner Hollow, the location in the woods where Dexter provided summer church services for his hotel guests. It was a special place for me, for I hid away there to write on my days off.

  No one knew about my writing, and honestly, the children’s books I’d started creating when my parents had passed away were really just for my own amusement, something I enjoyed doing. I’d saved up my money from my first months of working at Everston and purchased a writing box, which helped keep me focused. Were anyone else to come across the stories, drawings, and paintings, I would have been simply mortified. That’s why I pursued it on my own, in the woods.