The Cautious Maiden

by Dawn Crandall

  A lie, of course. For a split second, I was sure he’d been about to kiss me, but I’d been much too self-conscious to say that that was exactly what I wanted.

  “You have no idea what the sight of you can induce a man to think, do you?” Vance grated out his words. He stepped away from me, backing into one of the chairs flanking the fireplace. “I’ve had plenty of practice in the past, allowing myself more than I ought…and I’d rather not let those kinds of things happen now, with you.”

  I let go of his hand, which he’d—for some reason—kept between us, wondering if I’d been completely delusional in letting myself get so carried away.

  But I hadn’t been the only one.

  “Fair enough,” I sighed, trying my best to seem as if I did know what kinds of things he referred to.

  I had no idea what Vance’s real motives had been getting me to such a state—to measure my reception of his advances? Or to make it simply look as if we’d spent the last half hour kissing instead of talking? Or had he wanted to kiss me at one point, and then changed his mind?

  I turned to face the fire and thought about leaving the room. But my curiosity got the best of me, and instead, I asked, “Once we’re married such thoughts and actions will be perfectly allowable, won’t they?”

  Vance groaned behind me. “Violet. It isn’t proper to speak of such things right now, although yes, what you say is true. But for once in my life I’d like to do things in the proper order, the way God intended. A wedding first.”

  Goodness, so he did expect a real marriage.

  The thought warmed me to my core, though I had little understanding of what it all meant besides how he’d made me want to melt just by touching me.

  When had he decided upon the status of our upcoming marriage? Was it his intention from the beginning? Had he merely assumed I’d want the same things out of marriage that he did?

  He would have been right. If I was to be married, I wanted a real husband.

  I turned back to him. It fairly infuriated me that he would go so far as to almost kiss me, and then blame me for tempting him. But something nudged me to admit that, there in the library, his intentions appeared more admirable than mine. I was immensely thankful he was now the kind of man who cared about keeping the marriage bed pure, when he definitely hadn’t been one to care before.

  “Well, I guess I’ve been in here long enough to give your family time to talk about us and think us properly in love.”

  With no response to that, I knew when it was time for me to leave.

  10

  Wedding Plans

  “How short a period often reverses the character of our sentiments,

  rendering that which yesterday we despised, today desirable.”

  —Ann Radcliffe, A Sicilian Romance

  Friday, April 8th, 1892

  The first few days at Everwood were quite an education. I received my first lady’s maid—a girl of eighteen named Bessy—the same day my new wardrobe arrived, and I spent much of my time sightseeing in Boston with Natalia and Amaryllis.

  Fortunately, I loved Vance’s family. Although I’d never had any sisters of my own, or many close female friends over the years, Natalia and Amaryllis were just as pleasant, friendly, and accepting of me as Estella had been while we’d known each other at Everston. And Roxy, when I saw her, was slowly growing on me.

  I didn’t actually end up seeing Vance all that much. He didn’t usually come home until late and spent most of his days at his family’s offices somewhere in town called Everstone Square. For the most part, I was often left to spend my days—when not out and about town—with Natalia and Amaryllis and their babies, while Estella spent much of her free time away from her family with Dexter, his sister, and Miss Claudine Abernathy.

  Madame Boutilier lived in a leased townhouse a few blocks away on Beacon Street and seemed to have her own circle of friends she intended to spend her time with outside of her soon-to-be daughters-in-law. Which was fine with me.

  I’d never been around babies much, and thought it interesting that Natalia and Amaryllis liked spending so much time with them. I’d always gathered—from working at Everston—that most of the mothers from their elite class depended on a nanny or an au pair to take care of their children.

  A few days later when I strolled into the front parlor to spend the late morning hours with Natalia and Amaryllis, I found Madam Boutilier had joined them, and that Natalia’s daughter, Julianna, and baby Rafe were not in their mothers’ arms…or even in the room.

  “Violet, do come in.” Natalia stood and came across the huge space between us, her arms extended to me as if she thought I might run. It was true, I’d stalled in the doorway once I’d perceived something more than a morning visit with my new friends was planned. But really, I didn’t know where she thought I would hide from them.

  “We were just talking about your wedding and what will need to be done to plan—”

  “I—I don’t have much experience with such things, so I doubt I’ll be of any help.” The subject was still overwhelming to me; that I would actually have a wedding, and that I would marry Vance.

  “Every decision will be passed through you, of course,” Madame Boutilier added. “It is your wedding after all. We’re only here to help.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”

  “Have you and Vance decided on when or where?”

  “I know your wedding to Mr. Everstone is planned for June,” I said, speaking exclusively to Madame Boutilier. “And I think Vance has mentioned having ours sometime after that.”

  “Oh, I wonder if he means to get married at Rockwood? That’s surprising.” Natalia’s hand was at her chest as she looked aghast at both Amaryllis and Madame Boutilier.

  “I don’t know. What is Rockwood?”

  “It’s our family’s vacation home on Mount Desert Island, near Bar Harbor. My husband and I usually live there year-round, but we came to Boston to have Julianna, and haven’t made our way back yet. It’s not a place of happy memories lately.”

  “Vance hasn’t told you about Rockwood?” Amaryllis asked.

  “No, I suppose we’ve been occupied with other things.”

  “That’s perfectly understandable. How long have you been courting?”

  Oh what would Vance have me say? And why hadn’t we come up with these answers already? I quickly decided that the truth would simply have to do. At least those days before the scandal would have to constitute as courting now. “A little over a week.”

  When I looked up, all three of them were staring at me, wide-eyed.

  Natalia was the first to verbally respond. “Well. I guess Vance finally figured out what he wanted. I can’t blame him though; you are everything everyone’s hoped he’d find in a wife. And I suppose his hurry to marry you shouldn’t surprise me. He never has been one to waste any time in getting something accomplished.”

  I desperately wished that what she said was true and not just their perception. If only Vance had truly wanted me from the beginning of our acquaintance, how differently I would feel about everything.

  With a burst of conviction, I couldn’t help but confess the actual situation. “There’s another thing we haven’t told you yet—though Estella and Dexter know all too well. There was bit of a compromising situation that escalated the timing of our engagement.”

  “We’ve heard about that,” Amaryllis answered calmly. “And we understand that it was a trick done by your brother, rapidly taking the advancement of your relationship—?”

  “It was an awful trick, but I suppose he thought he was helping.”

  After a considerable pause, Madame Boutilier genteelly steered the conversation back to the impersonal particulars. “So we need to ask Vance his preference about location. Rockwood or some location in town.”

  “And as for guests, do you have friends and family you’d like to invite?” Natalia asked kindly.

  “No.”

  �
��No?”

  “I don’t have any family left to speak of; just my trouble-causing brother. And my friends, Estella and Roxy, will have been included already, of course.”

  “Well, I’m sure we’ll be able to fill the church—or wherever it is you marry—for both of you,” Natalia continued. “I suppose you probably haven’t thought about what you’ll do after the wedding?”

  “After?” What on earth was I supposed to discuss with them about that?

  “The dinner, the ball, the celebration?”

  Oh that.

  “I don’t know. I’ve only been to something like that once—in November for Estella’s wedding.” I fingered the lace on the skirt of my new dress—one of the violet colored ones. “Do we need to have something so elaborate? I would so rather keep it small, maybe just a dinner afterwards? Would that be possible?”

  “Anything is possible, Violet. But no matter what, we’ll want to make it—whatever the size—simply outstanding.” Madame Boutilier pulled a journal from a nearby table and opened it to the middle pages. “I’m certain we’ll be able to pull something together to make everyone happy. I’ve already taken a few notes I’d like you to look over sometime—”

  “Now, about the real ‘after the wedding’ plans,” Natalia quickly interjected.

  Even with that first false alarm, I still wasn’t prepared for such a topic.

  “Has Vance told you where he might take you after the wedding?” she continued.

  To bed was all I could imagine after our last conversation.

  “He hasn’t mentioned where.”

  “Oh gracious, perhaps he’s planning a surprise trip for you? Does he know where you would want to go?”

  Home. It was the only place I could think I’d want to go after my wedding, and I didn’t have one. What were Vance’s plans for us? Would we live in Boston? Would he take me back to Bangor, where he’d been living for a few months until October? I was chagrined for not addressing these concerns earlier, instead of losing my head so spectacularly in his presence.

  The door to the hall opened, and Vance walked into the room. His dark gaze found mine right away before it shifted hesitantly toward the folder held in his right hand.

  I hadn’t realized he was home. Despite the fact that he’d barely said anything substantial to me since Sunday in the library, I felt relief flood my features at the sight of him. Maybe he could better answer everyone’s questions regarding the wedding.

  Vance crossed the room quickly to sit next to me on the sofa, placing the folder on the empty seat beside him.

  “We were discussing the wedding, Vance, but Violet doesn’t seem to know what you’d want to do for the wedding or the honeymoon—”

  “Doesn’t she?”

  Oh heavens, did he say such things just to embarrass me? Did they understand what he’d meant? What I’d heard?

  “Do you have any thoughts as to where you’d like to have the wedding?” Madame Boutilier asked, obviously nonplussed.

  “How about we have the wedding at Fairstone?”

  “The wedding? At Fairstone? Whatever for?” Natalia asked.

  “We can have everything there.” Vance’s attention was focused solely upon his sister, as if he felt he had to convince her that this was a good idea. “And Violet and I wouldn’t have to worry about leaving afterwards. We’d simply stay home. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He turned to me, his eyes smiling.

  Could he really read my mind? How did he know I would value such things? I merely nodded my head, unable to collect my answer for the sheer shock I felt.

  “Whatever do you mean?” Madame Boutilier sat rigidly in her seat, and for the first time I saw a bit of a disdain in her eyes toward Vance. “No honeymoon trip? Fairstone is a mess, and the house belongs to Nicholette—”

  “Oh, we’d still have a honeymoon; perhaps we could leave the next day after the wedding brunch. And no, Fairstone does not belong to Nicholette. It belongs to me now.”

  Natalia’s vivid smile virtually glowed at this news. “What? Did you purchase it from her? When?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it and just finalized everything with her lawyer this week. I knew she likely wouldn’t want the burden anymore, and I thought I’d take it off of her hands.”

  Vance had bought me a house? My own home?

  I didn’t care what he or his family thought of me or my actions in that instant, I clutched his arm with both hands, reached up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Vance.” I didn’t even care what was wrong with the house.

  Vance put his arm around me, looked straight into my face—and I was sure he was about to kiss me back when Natalia cleared her throat loudly.

  Goodness, was that all I needed to do to get a response from him—show some affection in front of his family? And had it merely been for the sake of making them believe he loved me? I couldn’t tell.

  “Vance, that was so sweet of you! For Nicholette and for Violet! Does this mean you’re going to finally settle down, and in Boston?”

  He sent a sideways glance my way, and almost smiled. “I suppose so. But like you said, the house is a mess and needs to be completely renovated.”

  “You will announce the engagement soon, won’t you, Vance?” Natalia asked.

  “I thought we’d put it off for a month or so; it will be better to wait until it’s been past the official year mark of when Giselle passed away, you know, to be conventional, in case anyone notices.”

  “Good idea. I hadn’t thought about it only being a year. So much has happened in that time!”

  With a sudden lull in the conversation, I asked, “Where is this Fairstone house?”

  “My brother Will and his wife had planned to move into a house just up Dartmouth Street once it was renovated, but he was killed shortly after their wedding. Nicholette left for Europe with her parents last June, leaving the house completely unfinished, except for Will’s master’s suite. That happened to be refinished first thing. But everything else is in shambles.”

  Vance took his arm from around me and turned to the other side of the sofa where he then opened the folder he’d brought in with him. He took out a number of photographs, shifting through them before handing one to me.

  I held onto a corner, not daring to believe the massive stone structure in the photograph had anything to do with what we’d been discussing.

  “This is Fairstone. I suppose we could call it an engagement present for you.”

  I stared down at the photograph, at a complete loss as to what to say. It was a mansion. What was I supposed to do with a house like that?

  “You’ll help me decide how to renovate it, won’t you, Violet?”

  I slowly looked from the photograph to Vance, still stunned, and almost in disbelief.

  “Once it’s fixed up, it will be a beautiful place to be married!” Natalia’s smile was strictly for her brother at that moment—she did seem extremely happy that he was going to marry me. “And then to live, of course.”

  “You want my opinion on redecorating the interior of this mansion?” I held up the photograph.

  “Who else would I have help me besides you?” he asked. The smile on his face suddenly seemed as though it were only there to cover up a disgruntled frown. He took the photograph from me and placed it back into the folder.

  “You like it don’t you, Violet?” Amaryllis asked. “To be sure, it will take a lot of time and money to get the task of restoring it to all its grandeur, but I’m certain it will be well worth it.”

  “I like it. It’s just so big. And intimidating.”

  Just as I was about to reassure Vance that I did indeed love his gift—whether it was just for show or he genuinely wanted to give me my own home—the butler came into the room carrying a silver tray. “Excuse me, Mrs. Livingston, but there’s a guest at the door.” He walked across the room, but behind the furniture, to present a card to Natalia.

  She took up the card. “Reverend Benjamin Whitespire? Who is—?�
��

  “Goodness, Ben’s made it to Boston sooner than I thought he would,” Vance interrupted his sister. “He’s a friend of mine—of ours.” He sent a quick glance my way.

  A friend of his? Was that true? I knew he and Ben had been acquaintances, but true friends?

  “He’s come to town to meet with The Boston Inland Mission Society in hopes of taking a mission,” I added.

  Natalia replaced the card and said, “Please do send him in.”

  I took Vance’s hand quickly, sliding my fingers into this palm, purposefully catching his gaze and keeping it. I leaned in and whispered, “Vance, I love the house. I do. It’s just so much more than I expected.”

  “I should have asked you first, what kind of house you would have wanted.”

  “I would have said any house you wanted to give me.” I smiled, still holding his gaze. “And it is great what you’ve done for your sister-in-law while she’s away and grieving. I was just wondering where we would live after the wedding before you came in—”

  “And about the official honeymoon,” he asked, behaving himself remarkably well, considering the subject matter. “Did you have any ideas about where you’d like to go?”

  “I haven’t thought about what we’d do at all. Have you?”

  With the tilt of one side of his mouth and the telling sparks from his black eyes, he gave me my answer, and I gathered he wasn’t thinking about the location at all.

  I took my hand from his and realized that Natalia, Amaryllis and Madame Boutilier had been watching us quietly from their seats across the sitting area.

  Amaryllis was the first to speak. “Nathan took me on a trip across America in one of the private rail cars. Where do you think you’ll go?”

  “I could take you to Europe,” Vance cut in with a little more excitement than I ever recalled hearing in his voice. “On a leisurely, luxurious ship; what do you think about that?”

  “I never would have thought of that, but I suppose it is an option.” Just the thought of traveling to Europe, alone with Vance Everstone; that was more “alone with a man” than I’d ever imagined before.