When a Rogue Falls

by Caroline Linden

  Without thinking, Mattie wrinkled her nose.

  “You don’t enjoy the game?” Markham asked.

  “I’m awful. No one can interpret my moves. It as if my body was speaking Greek.”

  “Well, I learned Greek, but I don’t care for the game, either. What shall we do instead? Not everyone will be in the drawing room, so we won’t be missed.”

  Myriad ideas rushed through her head, most of which she had to let scurry on for propriety’s sake. The maze, for example—perfectly enjoyable, but certain to encourage her mother’s dreams of a wedding. Whatever they did, they must remain in sight of the house. “Why don’t we walk through the garden. I haven’t seen it in a few years.”

  Markham bowed formally and then offered his arm. Mattie placed her hand just so on his sleeve as if she was being escorted to meet the Queen. The image made her laugh.

  “What do you find so humorous?”

  “It’s silly. I pictured you in a wig, breeches and stockings, and me in a wide-skirted gown, both of us with powdered hair, approaching the Queen on her throne.”

  He shook his head, grinning. “Where do these ideas of yours come from?”

  “I don’t know. Do you think my problem with charades is that all my make-believe happens in my mind?”

  Now Markham laughed. “You’re just as silly as you were when you were young.”

  “I’m twenty-three, not an old crone. Or a spinster.”

  He stepped aside to let her pass between two topiaries. “You are nowhere near a crone’s age. A spinster, however…”

  She spun around and pointed at him while walking backwards. “You are older and unmarried. It’s unfair that no one chides men for waiting.”

  “Believe me, I hear often enough that I should consider starting a family.”

  “Why haven’t you?” she asked boldly—then tumbled backwards over a statue of a swan. She squealed as she fell.

  Markham’s lips were pressed tight as he bent to help her stand, his eyes sparkling with humor. “Are you injured?” She’d swear the cough that followed was meant to cover laughter.

  “If I were, would you miss me at the ball tomorrow night?” When she found her footing, she retied the ribbon at her waist so she wouldn’t see his expression, which would crush the fun she was enjoying with him.

  “Of course. You dance elegantly, but I fear that with all the guests arriving this afternoon, there will be so many young men asking to stand up with you that I won’t have a chance to do so.”

  Her heart lightened and she caught his gaze before continuing their walk. “You could rectify that now.”

  He picked up a pebble from the path and tossed it into the lavender bushes. “I suppose I could. But you’ve danced with me so many times, I wouldn’t want to deprive the other young men their opportunity to enjoy the pleasure.”

  Mattie swung her head so quickly to see his expression, she nearly stumbled once more.

  Markham’s laugh rang out. “Oh, the looks you give me. You’re too easily goaded, Mattie. You must guard yourself before someone takes advantage.”

  No one else ever goaded her, though, and no men teased the way he did. If she ever accepted the fact he didn’t want to marry her and looked elsewhere for a husband, she’d be spoiled for other men. None of them could live up to Markham.

  Hanging from a tree branch ahead was the swing she and Lavinia played on as children. “Look!” She trotted to it and sat, kicking up her feet.

  “I take back what I said about you being too old to be an eligible bride.” He stopped in front of her, his hands on his hips.

  “Be quiet and push me.”

  He shrugged and circled the tree, staying out of reach of her half boots. Pushing her shoulders, he sent her drifting forward. “Do you miss your childhood so much?”

  “No, I enjoy dancing and the opera more than I miss swinging or playing hopscotch.” And being an adult allowed her to enjoy her time—what little there was—with Markham so much more. He’d barely noticed her when they were young. “But it’s nice to visit those happy times once in a while.”

  After a few minutes, Markham asked, “You never said who you needed to kiss to win.”

  “My, how curious you are about who I plan—er, planned—to kiss. Are you envious?”

  “Of course not. I’m merely curious how the minds of young ladies work. What draws you to a man?”

  Someone about your height, your hair color, who has your smiling, expressive brown eyes… No, she had to steer this conversation away from there. “The object of the game was to kiss someone we didn’t want to,” she lied.

  “And you chose among my friends? What’s wrong with any of us?” His pushes grew a bit harder, his hands stiffer on her shoulders.

  “The entire point was they had to be someone our parents wouldn’t approve of.”

  “Was I included in your list of men you didn’t want to kiss?”

  Quite the opposite. “Lavinia forbade that. She didn’t want to imagine any of us kissing you.”

  “I see.”

  “If you and your friends had made a list like that, who would have been on it?”

  “You believe there are girls we don’t want to kiss? You don’t have brothers, that’s plain to see.”

  “Would you avoid kissing your sister’s friends?”

  “Like you? How did we end up here, anyway?” Markham asked. “Let’s talk of something else.”

  She refrained from reminding him he’d started the conversation. It was a good thing he was behind her and she was on a swing, or she’d attempt to get an answer to her question by kissing him.

  Eventually a footman appeared and informed them it was time to dress for supper.

  “We’ve been out here that long?” Mattie asked. When Markham eased the swing to a stop, she stood.

  “Someone will have noticed,” he said. “Just in case no one saw us out the window, we should have an excuse for our absence. Where were you?”

  She looked around her at the plants, statues and benches. “I was revisiting my childhood. No, wait, I got lost in the maze. You heard my shouts for help and came to my rescue.”

  “How long were you trapped? They’ll think I found you an hour ago and we enjoyed some time unseen. We need something better. I might have gone for a ride. You might have fallen asleep in your room.”

  “Those are so dull. I’d much rather say I was tilting at windmills or facing down a dragon.” Those might not be respectable fantasies for a lady, but she didn’t care. They were the most outrageous things she could think of, and she was in a mood to be outrageous.

  “If you were facing down a dragon, it had better not have been in aid of my rescue. You’ll emasculate me and I’ll never recuperate.” Markham’s features were more relaxed than she’d seen in a long time. Regardless of her desire to kiss him, she was happy to be responsible for putting him at his leisure.

  “Windmills it is, then,” she said.

  Chapter 4

  While allowing a maid to style her hair for the evening, Mattie pinched her cheeks and nibbled her lips to bring some color to her face. She attempted to convince herself she wanted to look her best for everyone, but it was Markham on her mind.

  Apparently, he was on Mama’s mind, too, for she burst in the door of Mattie’s bedchamber. “You and the marquess were quite cozy in the garden. You must make certain he knows you are attracted to him.”

  “Mama, he’s not interested in marrying anyone, much less me, at the moment.”

  “You’ve discussed marriage? That’s wonderful! A long engagement would be fine, just secure him with a proposal.”

  If Mama was encouraged that marriage had come into the conversation, she’d start planning a wedding date if she knew how much Mattie and Markham talked about kissing.

  Yet, for all his questions, he never hinted at wanting anything more than friendship.

  “I’ll ask Her Grace to seat you two together—”

  “No! You won’t involv
e her in your matchmaking. Especially since we’re here to celebrate her daughter’s wedding. Please, Mama, do not do anything to embarrass me. If Lord Markham wanted a match, he would have asked me long before this.”

  “Sometimes a man needs a nudge to realize what he wants. This is the perfect setting for nudging, the romance of the wedding.”

  “I will die of embarrassment if you say anything more to anyone. Markham heard you and Papa. He was gracious about it, but if you say anything more, I could lose his friendship. Please, stop.”

  “You’ve always been such a foolish girl. The man is heir to the duke. You can’t find a better husband.”

  With her face burning and tears welling, Mattie waved away the maid, having little hope she wouldn’t discuss the matter with all the other servants. Being humiliated in front of so many at the dance was bad enough, but wondering who else knew and how exaggerated the gossip had become would be so much worse.

  “All I ask of a husband is that he loves me, and wants a large, happy family as much as I do,” Mattie announced.

  “You know better. Love won’t feed you and give you a fine home, a fashionable wardrobe—”

  “Mama, stop! I refuse to discuss this anymore.” Her voice broke.

  Her nose stuck in the air, Mama snapped, “I will always do what I feel is best for you. In the end, you’ll see I was right.” She turned and marched out the door.

  Burying her face in her hands, Mattie let loose the emotion that had caused a knot in her throat big enough to make it difficult to breathe. Poor Markham. Mattie had drawn him into this with her flirting, and now she was powerless to end the mess she’d created.

  Markham would never forgive her. She’d never forgive herself. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way. If people blamed him for putting Mattie in a position to be the object of such gossip, it would only add to his reputation as a miscreant.

  The door opened and Lavinia entered. “I just passed your mother in the hallway. What has her—Oh, dear. What happened?” She rushed to Mattie’s side.

  “It’s such a mess. I wish I could go home.”

  Lavinia tugged on her arm. “Come, let’s sit somewhere more comfortable.” She led Mattie to the bed, where they sat on the edge.

  Mattie leaned into her friend’s shoulder and cried even harder. Not only was her heart broken knowing what was going to happen between her and Markham when Mama finished with him, but the situation could come between Mattie and her friend.

  Running her hand gently down Mattie’s back, Lavinia made comforting noises until the tears slowed. “There, now. That’s better. Can you tell me what happened?”

  “Mama’s determined to marry me to Markham.”

  Lavinia laughed lightly. After a bit of silence, she asked, “She’s not serious, is she? You’re friends, but nothing more.”

  Mattie hiccupped with tears still threatening. “Yes, and yes. She’s misreading every moment I’m near him.”

  “Well, you two were missing for quite some time this afternoon…”

  “I was tilting—I mean, I was enjoying the garden. The swing, mostly. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to float in the air with nary a care.”

  “I hear my brother was there with you. If you want to deflect rumors, that’s not the way to do it.”

  “Neither of us wanted to play charades.”

  “There are so many other activities you could have found that didn’t involve him.”

  Mattie sat up. “Are you telling me not to speak to Markham?”

  “Of course not. I would have assumed after last night you wouldn’t want to draw more attention to the two of you.”

  “It’s not fair. I enjoy his company.”

  After a moment, Lavinia lifted Mattie’s chin and forced her to meet her gaze. “How long have you loved him?”

  Pulling away, Mattie shook her head. “Don’t talk nonsense.”

  “I’m not. Oh, dear, you’ve set yourself up for so much heartache.”

  “Why? Am I not deserving of love? Is it so impossible for a man like him to care for me?”

  “He’s not ‘like’ anyone. He’s his own man. But I can’t imagine him wanting to marry anytime soon. How long have you cared for him?”

  “How long have I not? I didn’t mark the date and time in a journal. It grew slowly and bloomed one day.”

  Lavinia pulled her into her arms again. “I hope you recover, soon. At least accept the fact you will never be more than friends. Now, let’s go down to dinner.” Lavinia stood.

  Wiping her cheeks, Mattie shook her head. “I can’t bear to see anyone. Nor to hear what my mother will say in front of everyone. Forgive me, please?”

  “Very well. You rest. You’ll be yourself again by morning.” Smiling, Lavinia glided across the room and left.

  Of course Mattie would be herself by morning. She was herself now. She’d kept her feelings hidden so long no one really knew her, but she was trained in proper behavior and would maintain her proper façade.

  Early the next morning when Markham returned from his ride, he found his sister waiting for him outside the side entrance to the house.

  “We must talk.”

  “Can it wait until I change clothes?” he asked roughly.

  “It won’t take long. It’s regarding you and Mattie.”

  “Not you, too. There’s nothing between us.”

  “There is, but you haven’t noticed.”

  “Any attraction is only in the eyes of her parents.”

  “No, in Mattie’s eyes…in her heart, too.”

  His first thought was that Lavinia was the newest member of the matchmaking scheme, but she wasn’t like that. If she’d refused to let his name be entered in their kissing game, she’d never encourage marriage to one of her friends. “We’re comfortable because we’ve known each other so long. We think alike on many things.”

  “Now you sound like you’re explaining why you care about each other,” Lavinia said.

  “Don’t be silly. I’m sorry if she misread our friendship and hopes for something more. It’s probably the romantic setting of your wedding.”

  “You didn’t see her last night. Her heart is broken.”

  “How am I to be blamed for that? I did nothing to encourage her.”

  “You’ve done nothing to discourage her, either.”

  Markham wouldn’t allow anyone to dictate who he could and couldn’t talk to. He’d done nothing improper. In fact, they’d taken pains to behave in a way that no misinterpretation could be have. “So, I’m to not speak to her anymore? Or do you prefer I come right out and tell her I don’t love her?”

  “No, of course not. You’re being unreasonable. You know perfectly well how to behave in a manner so a woman isn’t reading something more into your actions.”

  “Thank you for making me aware of the problem. Now I must clean up before joining everyone for breakfast. With everything that’s being said about me, I don’t want to add poor grooming habits to the list.” He stepped around her and strode inside.

  Instead of joining their guests in the dining room, he sent his valet for a plate to eat in his room. By the time he changed, his breakfast was there, and by the time he finished eating, Ringley appeared.

  “You’ve gotten yourself in a pickle,” Ringley said.

  “Need I ask what you’re referring to?”

  “I doubt it. I’m sure Lavinia spoke to you the same as she did to me last night. You’re on her bad side.”

  Markham forked his fingers through his hair and exhaled in exasperation. “I haven’t done anything.”

  “Somehow, the ladies have taken that as a declaration of love.” He shrugged. “You know how I became engaged to Lavinia, so I’m no expert in the workings of the female mind. What do you plan to do?”

  “According to Lavinia, anything I do will be the wrong thing. If I’m honest and tell her I don’t return her feelings, she’ll be heartbroken. Yet I can’t lie to her and profess the grand love she desires.�
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  “You need a clear head to find the right solution. Let’s go for a ride.” Ringley took a few steps toward the door.

  “I just returned from riding.”

  “Your father owns more than one horse, doesn’t he? Your other option would be to discover what the guests are doing and join them.”

  Markham shook his head and raised his arms as if pleading to the ceiling would help. “Very well, I’ll change again.”

  Chapter 5

  Markham managed to avoid their guests the rest of that day and the next, but he couldn’t miss the ball Friday without incurring his mother’s wrath. Father would rail at him, too.

  Aside from his duty, he’d never be so rude to Lavinia and Ringley. This was a grand celebration of their future together and he was missing out on most of it. After the wedding tomorrow, there’d be a wedding breakfast, but that was a much calmer affair. He wanted to show everyone how happy he was for the couple and that could be done best at the ball.

  And so, wearing his black cutaway coat, gold waistcoat and his dancing shoes, he did the pretty and began to dance with each young woman in the room. In addition to the guests who’d come from some distance, their neighbors were in attendance. Even some young girls not quite old enough to be out in society were there, blushing and glowing with excitement.

  He enjoyed dancing with the young ones and the wallflowers, most of all. They didn’t care who he was, didn’t have a wild desire to marry him, they were happy just to dance. That’s all he sought—to make certain each of their guests enjoyed themselves.

  During a much-needed break when he stepped out on the terrace alone, Ringley cornered him. “You’ve been doing your mother proud. I don’t think there’s a single lady in there you haven’t danced with. Except Lady Matilda, that is.”

  “Aha! Do you see? I said no matter what I do where she is concerned, it won’t be the proper thing.”

  “She watches you dance and looks so sad. Oh, she smiles prettily and talks to anyone who passes by, and has danced often enough, but knowing her as I do, I see the disappointment.”