This connection between them was more than the sum of them together.
He was everything, and without him, she would be reduced to nothing.
Less than nothing.
His need for her was evident in the hard length pressed to her midsection, obvious even through their many layers of clothes.
Did Jasper know she wanted this, too—likely far more than even he?
Heat coursed through her, pooling at her core as if it waited for something, but what, Adeline was uncertain.
Suddenly, something pulled her away from Jasper, their bodies stumbling apart, and her hands ripped from his shoulders.
But no, it wasn’t something pulling them apart, it was Jasper pushing her away.
Adeline found his stare in the darkened evening, and she searched for her answer, but his gaze was hooded as he hid from her and returned to the man he’d been for over a decade.
Jasper had not only kept himself physically hidden from others, but he’d also kept himself sequestered emotionally.
Did he not realize she would never harm him? Did he have no understanding of how he affected her?
She reached out toward him, her stare begging him to return to her, but he only took another step back. The light escaping the ballroom at his back cast a menacing shadow over her. His eyes were wild and frantic as his hands clenched into fists at his sides.
He appeared the beast his people claimed him to be.
But Adeline knew the truth of the matter…
Jasper was her beast.
And she would have him as hers, no matter the consequences or hardships to come.
Chapter 23
EVERY MUSCLE IN Jasper’s body tensed as light, melodic female laughter sounded at his back, followed by the deep voice of a man questioning what the commotion was on the terrace—the cultured London drawl so different from his people in Kent. His best chance for saving Adeline’s reputation was to keep whoever sought to invade their private moment behind him and out of view of Adeline, or more accurately, keep Adeline hidden from the gawking crowd.
His drive was to pivot toward the interlopers and demand they retrace their steps into the ballroom, forget anything they’d seen, and never breathe a word to anyone.
However, that would draw far more attention as the sight of a beast was difficult to forget in the country, and likely all but impossible when seen in a London ballroom.
Jasper took a calming breath, his exhale visible in the dropping temperatures.
Adeline shook before him, and he resisted the urge to go to her, to wrap her in his embrace once more and banish any chill that threatened her.
He hadn’t wanted to embarrass her, especially on her birthday. But this—being caught in his embrace on the terrace—would lead to far more than mere embarrassment. It could ruin her and her family. Make her name synonymous with compromised and unmarriageable.
Had she heard the rumbling of discourse behind him?
Her eyes widened, and she attempted to side-step him, but he moved effortlessly to keep her blocked from view.
She’d heard the laughter, too. The hissed questions about what was happening on the terrace. The start of gossip long before the guilty parties were even so much as identified.
Yet, no shock or terror showed on her face. Her legs did not tremble from the scandal that would soon follow if she were discovered as the compromised party.
“Perhaps it is time I depart,” he mumbled loud enough for her to hear, but soft enough so it did not travel to the people pushing out of the ballroom.
Her back stiffened, and her chin lifted in defiance. The same as it had when he’d forbidden her from accompanying him on his hunting excursion. The same as it had when he’d discovered she followed him into the storm and made her way to the plant despite the danger. “You will do no such thing.”
“Miss Adeline?” a male voice called over his shoulder. “It is you. But who is this man with you, and what abomination has marred his neck?”
Several females gasped at the man’s word—abomination.
Yet, Adeline appeared unaffected by their cruel reactions. Her shoulders straightened as if a decision had been made.
His chin dropped, nearly touching his chest as he suppressed the urge to pull his collar high, to hide his injuries from view. Despite his efforts, he suspected the light from the ballroom cast a knowing glow on his most visible scars.
It was too late to save her from the gossip that would come.
He had failed her, and all because he wanted something that was never meant to be his.
Keeping her stare locked on his, she stepped forward, a serene smile upon her lips, and slipped her fingers into the crook of his arm before turning to face the growing crowd behind them.
She straightened her shoulders, pressing tightly to his side as she stared down her nose at her guests. An odd term as they were looking on as if they were vultures circling before the kill.
A matronly woman fanned her face as if she’d stumbled upon a licentious display of flesh in the midst of a bawdy house, while a group of young women tittered amongst themselves, sending veiled glances in his direction. But it was the men who incited Jasper’s rage. They’d been gentlemen when they stepped through the doors of the Melton townhouse, but now, they appeared as wolves. Their lewd glares raked up and down Adeline as if she were their prey. Not a prize, but a target easily caught.
Blessedly, Lady Melton, with Lady Josie and Lady Georgina in tow, arrived on the terrace threshold and called for attention as they attempted to usher everyone back inside.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the card room is now open.” Lady Melton clapped her hands. “With only six tables, you will want to hurry if you favor a seat. And my dear husband, in honor of Miss Adeline’s birthday, has brought round several coveted bottles of fine French cognac besides.”
The men were the first to turn away, the lure of competition, money, and fine spirits enough to focus their sights elsewhere. However, Jasper did not doubt they’d keep in mind the compromising situation Adeline had been discovered in.
A growl threatened to escape him at the thought of another man thinking they could speak to Adeline about such a delicate subject—or coerce her in any way.
Jasper would not allow it, though he might well be helpless to stop them.
Within moments, he would be cast from the Melton house by Adeline’s brother, or worse yet, challenged over the woman’s honor.
He would not harm Lord Melton, but he would never back down and allow Adeline’s reputation to be questioned either.
She was the woman he would have selected as his wife, had that future still been available to him.
“I think this next dance is promised to you, Lord Ailesbury,” Adeline announced for all to hear as she pushed past the remaining guests and into the ballroom. She nodded to the musicians upon the dais, and they stopped their current song and began anew.
Jasper noted Lord Melton watching them as they stepped onto the dance floor, but that did not stop him from swinging Adeline into his arms. If she wanted to dance, he would dance.
Whatever she commanded, Jasper would do.
He was incapable of doing otherwise.
They began swaying to the smooth strings of the violinist, and before long, they twirled and swirled about the dance floor. Jasper could not take his eyes off her upturned face. Her smile alone was enough to hold him prisoner, to banish from his mind the coming consequences of their first and only kiss. Did she suspect the power she possessed over him?
A twinkle in her hazel eyes changed their normally olive hue to that of honey.
There was no hesitation on his part as he sank into their depths, relished the thought of living for eternity under her watchful gaze.
There were others on the floor, dancing so close Jasper feared they might collide and Adeline would be injured. Raising his stare from hers, he noted Lady Georgina and her husband, Lady Josie and a man who looked much like a younger version of Adeline
’s eldest brother, and, finally, Lord and Lady Melton. Widening his stare, Jasper was shocked to see Lord Cartwright and his wife, moving at a far more sedate pace, also on the floor, and another woman, who was clearly Lady Cartwright…though not large with child.
They were protecting Adeline, and in turn, shielding him.
Did they think him incapable of caring for Adeline and himself?
Jasper had long been the man everyone relied on for their needs. He’d never been one to count on others for something he could do himself.
These people, they offered him a gift, yet it felt more like a decree.
Jasper turned his attention back to Adeline as the music swelled, and they moved effortlessly across the polished dance floor as if they’d paired one another on a thousand other occasions and in hundreds of similar ballrooms.
Too soon, the music came to an end, and so did their dance.
The musicians set their instruments aside and stepped off the dais as couples, each in turn, fled the dance floor. Young debutantes were returned to their chaperones, men disappeared into the card room, lords escorted their companions to the refreshment table, and a few disappeared onto the terrace.
All while Jasper stood frozen on the dance floor, Adeline at his side.
He need return her to her brother or Lady Melton.
He need depart with haste.
He need pray that scandal and gossip would not take root and destroy Adeline and her family.
Jasper would never forgive himself if he were the cause of more families suffering. As the only surviving Ailesbury, the loss of his servants in the stable fire had been his fault. It had been his fault children had been raised without their father and mother present. It had been his fault that even now his people could not look him the eyes, could not trust him to care for them, could not look past his scars and see the man he’d worked hard to become since the tragedy at Faversham.
“It is time I return you to Lord Melton,” he sighed, not having the heart to meet her gaze. “You are the guest of honor, and I cannot monopolize your time any longer.”
Without another word, Jasper tucked her gloved hand in his elbow and started for her brother.
“Lord Melton.” Jasper’s voice shook slightly, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “Thank you for the kind invitation.” He turned to Adeline next, focusing on her lips as opposed to her eyes, glistening with moisture. “Miss Adeline, it has been a pleasure. I do hope your celebration is all you hoped for. It is time I take my leave and return to my home in Faversham.”
Melton’s eyes narrowed on Jasper as he bowed curtly and turned to depart before Adeline—or her brother—could offer any objection.
Giving Adeline one last look over his shoulder, he hoped she understood he didn’t want to leave her. If it had been up to him, he would have stayed, gossip be damned.
His footsteps were solid, if not confident, as he made his way to the double doors and the foyer beyond. He need only make it outside into the fresh air and out of sight of the ton. Then, and only then, could he allow himself time to dwell on his night.
Placing his hand on the doorframe, Jasper glanced over his shoulder once more, but Adeline was already out of her brother’s grasp and headed deeper into the ballroom. Jasper had no right to stop her or dissuade her from enjoying her ball. Nor did he possess the means to care for her in any way she’d see as satisfactory.
“My lord,” Jasper glanced back toward the foyer, the Melton butler having appeared at his side. “May I be of assistance?”
“My carriage, please.”
“Right away, Lord Ailesbury,” the butler bowed. “Do wait here, and I will summon you when your conveyance is ready.”
Jasper nodded, knowing there was nothing more he could do but depart into the cold night in search of George and his carriage. Instead, he moved into the shadows outside the ballroom and stared into the celebration.
An outsider.
An outcast.
An interloper.
These were not terms to be applied to those of the ton who’d discovered them on the terrace, but to Jasper’s own standing among the beau monde.
He was the one who did not belong. He was the one to forever watch from the shadows.
It was better this way. His scars would be kept hidden, and Jasper could hold tight to his guilt.
Scanning the crowd one last time, Jasper could no longer pick out Adeline from the throng of people in the ballroom.
It was better this way.
She would forget him in time, and he would hold tight to the memory of her in his arms. Perhaps then, and only then, he could allow a bit of the guilt that had plagued him for over a decade to loosen its hold on him.
Chapter 24
ADELINE HAD QUITE SIMPLY had enough.
Enough of Jasper’s thinking he knew best—for her and for himself.
Enough of her brother’s superior attitude.
Enough of the ton’s petty, judgmental arrogance aimed at anyone they questioned as being one of them.
Enough of her friend’s overbearing protection.
They thought she hadn’t noticed the way they saved her from certain ruination on the terrace or came to shield her and Jasper on the dance floor as they closed in and swirled near Adeline and Jasper.
She was not a child, nor ignorant of the ways of society.
She’d known the repercussions she faced if she and Jasper were discovered on the terrace together, pulled close in an intimate embrace.
And she did not care a whit.
Pushing her way through the milling crowd of haughty, insufferable matrons and leering lords, Adeline arrived at the dais as the musicians began to once again take their places.
These people may think to intimidate Jasper, but Adeline had been a part of their ranks for far too long to cower in a corner, accept a fate she did not want, and allow Lord Ailesbury to walk out of her life.
She would not allow them to do that to her.
And if her brother and Theo stood in her way, then they would earn the right to be cast in with them and become a confirmed enemy of Adeline’s.
At nearly twenty-one, Adeline was free to seek her own home, her own way in life, her own future—free of her brother…and her friends, if it came to that. Which, Adeline desperately hoped it would not. Without Theo, Josie, and Georgie at her side, Adeline would have little idea who she was. Odd that this was the same for her and Jasper.
In his arms, she felt protected, safe, and loved.
The moment he’d fled the ballroom, she’d been cast into doubt, left angry and confused.
But no longer.
Adeline nodded to a waiting footman who hurried to her side and assisted her onto the dais, where her scowl was enough to send the musicians fleeing for safety.
Moving to stand in the middle of the dais, she faced the crowd of people she’d once considered her friends, her kin, her community. These were people whose homes she’d visited, whose lives had been inexplicitly intertwined with her own. They were her brother’s friends, her mother’s companions, her friends’ parents. They were the people Adeline should want surrounding her on the momentous occasion of her twenty-first birthday. Yet, she found herself desiring only one man: Jasper. It was his opinion that held weight for her. It was his feelings she wanted to soothe. It was his heart she prayed was not damaged by these people.
This—her fury, her sorrow, her doubt—had naught to do with her or her own standing in society.
If she were labeled a ruined woman, so be it. As long as Jasper’s name remained above reproach, and he was spared the scandal.
In a way, Adeline was more equipped to handle the ramifications of their terrace tryst. She was capable in a way Jasper was not, no matter how many hours, days, years, he spent gaining the strength to one day make amends for the fire at Faversham Abbey. And Adeline did not doubt he blamed himself for everything.
A hush descended on the crowd as one by one, couple by couple, group by grou
p, the ton noticed her presence on the dais.
Every pair of eyes turned in her direction.
As Adeline looked to where Jasper had fled, his tall stature now out of sight.
That did nothing to lessen her irritation. Nothing to banish her need for vengeance in his honor.
Friendship…loyalty…and honor above all.
It was the Lady Archer’s Creed, written when she and her friends were mere girls at Miss Emmeline’s School. Yet, the relevance of the words hadn’t diminished, hadn’t paled, and hadn’t lost their meaning in any way.
In fact, the creed meant far more in that moment than ever before.
Jasper was her friend, and Adeline owed him loyalty, among many other things.
He’d saved her life before they even knew one another. He’d offered her shelter without a moment’s hesitation. He’d honored her. Even attempted to shield her from view on the terrace.
He was a fool if he thought she’d been unaware of what he was doing.
In return, Adeline would honor him, even if he were not around to hear her, and she never saw him again.
It was more than her mind that pushed her, it was her heart.
She allowed her glare to survey the crowd standing below the dais, waiting for her to speak. Though she was above them, she did not look down on them—so why did she have the overwhelming sense that many who looked on thought less of her? Judged her for actions they knew nothing about? Cast stones in her direction without any understanding?
Her chest seized. Adeline had once been the same. Done the same. At one time, she’d judged others with no regard for their feelings, their troubles, and the wounds that belonged solely to them. The time she’d made disparaging remarks about a debutante’s putrid-colored gown, or the occasion where she’d been asked to dance by a mere merchant’s son, and she scoffed at his offer. Even when she’d wastefully commissioned several gowns for her first Season without thought to Alistair’s other financial obligations—Adelaide and Arabella’s tutors, Alfred’s medications for his harsh breathing, and their father’s enormous physician’s bills.
When a Rogue Falls Page 76
